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[NSFW] Marquess' journal (Cute emo girls inside!)


Marquess
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love is a strong word... :D Nice grafic though.

:x:x:xLOVE:x:x:x

canadian/Internet Emotion Habits ... Good german as I am I use the word "love" only in relation to my wife and my familiy. And only to Special occasions... :P

Special occasions such as being in Mallorca, heh. :P I know for a fact you germans get all lovey dovey and clingy there.

We southern spaniards love everyone. Noisily. Obnoxiously. And put our supermarket carts in the middle of the alleys. The only canadian I met in person absolutely hated that, even more than people shouting from one sidewalk to the other.

EDIT: Not me. I'm a robot. Hugging is awkward. 

Edited by Hitaru
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Mallorca is where a friend of mine is right now and they want me to come visit! Who's in Mallorca??

All Germans who want to get drunk in their summer break :P

Game Quitters EuroParty time! :D

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Hello and why is my journal now a Mallorca discussion thread :^).

So perhaps predictably, I've fucked up somewhat. I've played WoW again, and I've had a few beers a few times. What happened is that one day I basically went to the store, bought a new mouse, a sixpack, and lots of comfort food. It was great. But it was never meant to last more than a few days; it, of course, ended up with a slight disaster of me just being rude to people for no reason and a severe hangover.

As far as the actual game goes, I logged in to a well populated private server and played some battlegrounds while chatting with people. The latter was rather boring since a lot of them were very young and not all that bright (with maybe 2 exceptions). The gameplay itself was ok and what I expected; it was nice. Nice, but no longer as alluring as I though it would be. I ended up AFK-ing half the time while listening to a documentary about cultural marxism and looking up various other things.

I really thought that I'll be hooked after a few days, but that didn't happen. The game's deleted now, and the mouse I bought just to relapse wasn't even working (tried all the usual tips to sort it out but nothing rip 17 €). I then found some ancient mouse with cable that did actually work ... for two days until the right button died. Now I'm back to my previous half-functioning mouse that's fine for normal usage, but not for gaming, lol. If there are some sort of divine beings that regulate this stuff, they don't seem to want me to relapse. And they're right.

But in a way, it feels to me like I was destined to be a failure for me entire life, but I'm now trolling the fate and continue to improve every day. I'm back to my routine, I'm back to my everything. It doesn't feel forced, and I don't have any pronounced urges to continue playing WoW.

S0J5Orm.jpg

Edited by Marquess
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So yes, to confirm, gaming after the completed 90 day detox in fact didn't feel as great as it did before. At this point, I could probably still get hooked again if I continued to play long enough; I doubt the danger of that will ever go away.

However, what motivates me not to play now are all those other things I can spend my time & energy on; I don't have to use a lot, if any, willpower to hold myself back from re-installing.

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But in a way, it feels to me like I was destined to be a failure for me entire life, but I'm now trolling the fate and continue to improve every day.

Keep getting a little better each day and before you know it you'll look around and wonder how you became a huge success...

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By the way, Cam, that was some monstrous copywriting in your last e-mail. Probably because it was honest too, but you're also really, really good at the craft. I hope to get on that level in time.

I can see why you didn't address the selfless accusation in what was essentially (a very sincere) sales letter. But this is my safe space shitposting corner so let's go.

Everything we do is done for selfish reasons. People have children for selfish reasons; it's not like they want to be a parent to some specific person -- that person hasn't even been formed yet, and there's no telling what they'll be like -- they want the experience of having a family. We could also argue that there's a certain biological drive, a compulsion, especially in women.

When you give some change to a homeless person, you also do it for selfish reasons; helping others makes you feel good. If helping others felt like being stabbed in the gut or someone throwing a brick in your face, would you still help those in need just because "it's a right thing to to"?

There is no reason not to accept that as the reality of our existence; this is how we're built and how we function. By trying to deny the very simple fact that all our actions are motivated by selfishness (and that all human relations are transactional), we risk forcing ourselves to make decisions that go against our self interest, decisions which will only make us -- and others -- miserable on a long run.

Maybe you're struggling to get by, but you give 5 € to a beggar just because you think you ought to. Maybe it still makes you feel a little happy, but now you can't eat for one day, which in turn means less energy to turn your situation around, which then means 1 more day of being miserable, and one day of your finite life LESS that you'll spend as a happy, fulfilled person.

Or having children just because your partner/parents/society want you to. It may turn out alright, and you may not regret it, but you may also turn out to be an absent or even abusive father because now you're forced into a life you never wanted.

This is what happens when people stop being selfish.

People aren't neither good nor bad; they are selfish and they respond to incentives. It just so happens that building relationships and helping others makes us feel great.

And look what truly selfish people end up doing: they go and raise money for building wells in Africa.

Edited by Marquess
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Hey did you ever looked into matchbetting ( you seem to be informed about freelancing stuff and making money on the internet). I checked it out for some time but decided against it because I don't want to give my personal information to that many bookmarkers. But maybe this isn't a problem for you. What do you think about that subject?

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Hey did you ever looked into matchbetting ( you seem to be informed about freelancing stuff and making money on the internet). I checked it out for some time but decided against it because I don't want to give my personal information to that many bookmarkers. But maybe this isn't a problem for you. What do you think about that subject?

Looks like free money. There is no free money. But looking into it now as I'm kinda curious where the catch is.

EDIT: Oh, I see. They're basically counting on enough people to get hooked on betting, so they make these initial offers that pretty much give you free money to bet with. And it seems to be working too, or they wouldn't still be doing it. But yeah, definitely an interesting way to earn some cash; I'll look into it more. Thanks.

Edited by Marquess
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Thanks Marquess! Ironically I spend a lot of time thinking my copywriting is shit. Haha. But that's one of two emails I've sent in the past year that had an insane response. Also only spent about 10-15 minutes writing it, straight from the heart. A few hours prior to that on a walk thinking about what I wanted to say and not say - for instance, I was mindful that I didn't want to come across as "whining"... because I certainly recognize the incredibly privilege I have of pursuing my dreams every day and it's a life I've chosen for myself. But I did want to bring the community in to the reality that it is a much greater challenge than it's perceived to be, likely because I do not talk about that much. Anyways, I definitely agree with you on everyone being selfish. I just didn't think that email was the time to address it. Gotta keep focus! 

(If you're curious what the other email was that had a gigantic response, I have attached it.)

2015_12_10_1529_The_truth_about_2016.txt

Edited by Cam Adair
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Thanks Marquess! Ironically I spend a lot of time thinking my copywriting is shit. Haha. But that's one of two emails I've sent in the past year that had an insane response. Also only spent about 10-15 minutes writing it, straight from the heart. A few hours prior to that on a walk thinking about what I wanted to say and not say - for instance, I was mindful that I didn't want to come across as "whining"... because I certainly recognize the incredibly privilege I have of pursuing my dreams every day and it's a life I've chosen for myself. But I did want to bring the community in to the reality that it is a much greater challenge than it's perceived to be, likely because I do not talk about that much. Anyways, I definitely agree with you on everyone being selfish. I just didn't think that email was the time to address it. Gotta keep focus! 

(If you're curious what the other email was that had a gigantic response, I have attached it.)

2015_12_10_1529_The_truth_about_2016.txt

Holy shit. Before the email, your campaign was at about 35% the goal and now you're $835 short of 5K. But if I understand this correctly, there are only 3 days left to reach the goal, and if you don't reach it, you end up with nothing after all?

EDIT: Nope, you can keep it going indefinitely. And people are still donating, so you should be good as you already have more than 3K.

I'm impressed that you managed to pull it off, tbh. Donating for some water well in Africa is a really abstract goal that doesn't have any relation to your audience's lives.

EDIT2: I remember that other e-mail, yeah.

Edited by Marquess
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I need to start writing more about all that "shit" that comes with accomplishing your dreams. So much behind the scenes people never see. 

Well, it does make you more relatable, but you don't want to look like you're actually struggling, or people won't have anything to look up to :^). I don't know.

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I'm so glad that it's finally autumn. Or at least it's September; idk when exactly is it supposed to start. As far as I'm concerned, it's autumn. And good things happen in autumn, especially if I show a minimum amount of cooperation.

Shared a post from GQ's Facebook page on my feed yesterday, and it triggered one person. His reaction was basically that okay, you've quit video games, but why are you now preaching to others to do the same. Do you think you're better than us?

But because most of my FB contacts are intelligent and self reflective, he soon realized the post just annoyed him due to his own personal issues and admitted it. But most people aren't like that. So I'm not even sure what can be done in terms of GQ related activism if we don't want to run into a brick wall everywhere we go. Cam's approach has been very friendly sometimes even to a point of being too friendly for my taste. But it's working.

The problem is that every criticism of video games, as far as the mainstream narrative goes, means the person either doesn't understand video games (90s/early 00s debate about violence) or is a SJW (thanks GamerGate).

Does anyone have any ideas?

I think there's a good amount of fair criticism to be made against the gaming industry as it's very deliberately trying to create more addicts. And besides that, we do need to start going out and saying look, this shit is bad. A more aggressive approach.

But maybe I'm wrong. What do you guys think?

PS: I've made a post about my recent slip and current overall life situation. Longer post, so not posting it here.

Edited by Marquess
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Cam's approach has been very friendly sometimes even to a point of being too friendly for my taste. But it's working.

This has been the foundation just to build credibility. In the future I think with more research coming out (including our own) that will help a lot. Also, I hope to have budgets at some point to do more video/media related content where we can tell the story in better ways which make it more accessible to those outside of our community. 

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Cam's approach has been very friendly sometimes even to a point of being too friendly for my taste. But it's working.

This has been the foundation just to build credibility. In the future I think with more research coming out (including our own) that will help a lot. Also, I hope to have budgets at some point to do more video/media related content where we can tell the story in better ways which make it more accessible to those outside of our community. 

Personally, I have too much work to do on myself to participate in any overly significant manner, but I'll definitely be more active when things settle down.

I think I have have been a little too aggressive in some of my past attempts. Once I tried to take advantage of the #GamerGate hashtag and got promptly ganged down, lol. But I stopped responding soon & didn't link GQ so no harm done.

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I'm so glad that it's finally autumn. 

Not sure about you but I love autum and winter

Shared a post from GQ's Facebook page on my feed yesterday, and it triggered one person. His reaction was basically that okay, you've quit video games, but why are you now preaching to others to do the same. Do you think you're better than us?

But because most of my FB contacts are intelligent and self reflective, he soon realized the post just annoyed him due to his own personal issues and admitted it. But most people aren't like that.

That's awesome, talk about knowing oneself.
The rare times I tell other people that I no longer play videogames or watch porn is that -I can't handle videogames or porn but must people can-

So I'm not even sure what can be done in terms of GQ related activism if we don't want to run into a brick wall everywhere we go. Cam's approach has been very friendly sometimes even to a point of being too friendly for my taste. But it's working.

It does appear too friendly. It seems to me that he likes to focus mostly on the positive side and barely on the negative side. But then again, he must have good reasons for his approach.

(Example: Quit video games and become succesful! vs Keep playing videogames and become a failure!)

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 It does appear too friendly. It seems to me that he likes to focus mostly on the positive side and barely on the negative side. But then again, he must have good reasons for his approach.

(Example: Quit video games and become succesful! vs Keep playing videogames and become a failure!)

In the context Marquess is describing it's a bit more about how it's ok to play video games and we're not against gaming (focusing on the positives) instead of taking a harder stance that gaming is harmful. The reason why we do this is because the gaming community is very defensive and we have to be overly cautious in approaching them because if they sense at all that you're attacking games they shut down - many members of our community found us specifically because we were approachable, so it's important. More on that here.

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 It does appear too friendly. It seems to me that he likes to focus mostly on the positive side and barely on the negative side. But then again, he must have good reasons for his approach.

(Example: Quit video games and become succesful! vs Keep playing videogames and become a failure!)

In the context Marquess is describing it's a bit more about how it's ok to play video games and we're not against gaming (focusing on the positives) instead of taking a harder stance that gaming is harmful. The reason why we do this is because the gaming community is very defensive and we have to be overly cautious in approaching them because if they sense at all that you're attacking games they shut down - many members of our community found us specifically because we were approachable, so it's important. More on that here.

No disagreement there.

It's almost never good to attack individuals. You can, however, attack (powerful) organizations and wider groups: companies that create games and the gaming culture in general. By attack I mean relatively severe criticism; we still don't want to look in any way ~triggered~; instead, the approach should always be from a position of confidence and strength.

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The rare times I tell other people that I no longer play videogames or watch porn is that -I can't handle videogames or porn but must people can-

I tell them video games are shit. Then again, I don't have many friends. I wonder how come.

I don't know about the porn thing. I find it a little surprising how you guys just talk about it; isn't it kinda like making someone a part of your sex life, lol. You're basically creating a mental image of yourself -- not -- fapping, and by that you create at least a hint of a different, much more, uhm, involved picture.

Maybe it's just me.

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 It does appear too friendly. It seems to me that he likes to focus mostly on the positive side and barely on the negative side. But then again, he must have good reasons for his approach.

(Example: Quit video games and become succesful! vs Keep playing videogames and become a failure!)

In the context Marquess is describing it's a bit more about how it's ok to play video games and we're not against gaming (focusing on the positives) instead of taking a harder stance that gaming is harmful. The reason why we do this is because the gaming community is very defensive and we have to be overly cautious in approaching them because if they sense at all that you're attacking games they shut down - many members of our community found us specifically because we were approachable, so it's important. More on that here.

Cam, the reason I joined and gave this a shot wasn't just because the community seemed nice and aproachable. It was because everyone here actually knows what it's like being a gamer. We're here because we were all gamers at one point, and we all know the struggle it brings in our lives. I can't even begin to describe how I started to feel upon that realization.

I feel like the gaming community has a right to be defensive. It's so pathetically easy for someone who doesn't play games to look at a gamer and say pssh, you're clearly wasting your life, when they've never been in their shoes to understand why they do it in the first place. For the longest time I've resisted getting help from my family to stop playing video games, because they don't have a clue as to what I've been through. They only saw me on the outside, the real me, not the online hero I had built myself up to be. They only saw the negatives, while I only saw the positives. But everyone here knows both. I think the gaming community would be more willing to listen to people who at one point were just like them. That's what you should emphasize. Yes, we've ALL been there too, but here's why we stopped. If that was made clear from the very beginning, I believe it would lower many shields.

Heh, online hero.

Edited by JSmith
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