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Marquess

[NSFW] Marquess' journal (Cute emo girls inside!)

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Today is a difficult day. It almost borders on tragedy even though I don't want to look at it that way. But it's simply annoying.

I don't intend to delve too deep into what exactly I did inside WoW. It doesn't matter; ultimately, I played it to escape my real life problems. It wasn't important whether I was trolling the world, making friends I then thought were genuine ( Edited by Marchosias

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Excited to see your journal up here. Can't wait to read all about your journey.

I'm also a high school dropout. :)

?I'm glad we're both excited.

All the cool kids drop out of high school, anyway. It's a particularly unpleasant combination of a prison and a nuthouse.

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Good job getting out of the house! That's a big key for me, the less I'm in my house the less I naturally feel a lower motivation and inclined to just lay in bed. If you haven't seen this video on how to get out of a funk, it will help.

Your grammar is very good! Excited to see your writing continue to progress. :)

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Good job getting out of the house! That's a big key for me, the less I'm in my house the less I naturally feel a lower motivation and inclined to just lay in bed. If you haven't seen this video on how to get out of a funk, it will help.

Your grammar is very good! Excited to see your writing continue to progress. :)

?Thank you so much for the grammar compliment. It means more than it probably should.

Quality video. I make it a point to leave the apartment every day for a walk (30-40 minutes). I'm not so sure about that Tony Robbins thing though -- for one, I get annoyed when someone is trying to motivate me using happy music. And my inner hikikomori doesn't approve of joining a mass of strangers, especially not under such bright lightning.

@ChrisSatcher: Thank you for your post; I haven't really expected people will actually comment on this, so I can only say I'm glad.

The "ideal life" I describe in the original post is what I'd like on an emotional level. I don't actually want such a terrible life for myself -- we both know where it leads. Like Leo Gura says in his most recent video: the secret to amazing life is always doing what's emotionally uncomfortable. I normally try to shy away from motivational slogans, but this one is fine. It includes "uncomfortable". The nasty truth.

I like how detailed your description of a potential alcoholic scenario is. Anything to add?

Helping people is something you end up with in one way or another if you're leading a life worth its name. You should definitely keep looking into that. Personally, I know exactly what I want to do (and I know how I'll make the money to support it) ... the only problem is: it's not a very rewarding career. I'll make sure to expand on that later.

Regarding becoming a pro gamer -- thing is, I'm not that great at games. I may be good compared to the average player, but you can generally think of me as a 2.2K rated guy. I tried really hard to improve further, but my reflexes and situational awareness simply aren't that great. It really is an advantage now; I'd never be able to quit if I were a multiglad.

Calling me a "friend"? Ow, at least buy me a dinner first ... I kid, I kid!
You don't need to buy me dinner; I'm easy like that.

And about the gulten free thing: I was actually being half serious with that tag -- low carb hight fat diet helps my mental state immensely, and I plan on getting back to it soon. Yet another topic to cover (a massive one).

@Zane: Finding a proper picture of an emo girl takes me nearly as long as writing a post. First, most of them aren't all that good looking (I can see directly through hair, make up, and accessories by having dated a number of goth girls), and second, well, I prefer those who at least look like they're 18+. Don't want Chris Hansen at my door.

Not to mention that, and I don't know if you follow the manosphere at all, but they've been very vocal about how girls with tattoos, colored hair, and piercings are bad news. From personal experience, I can assure you that's more often true than not. Alas.

Again, thank you all for replying to this thread; I appreciate it so much. The majority of people think being addicted to video games is something "funny" at best, and a display of somehow being inherently terrible at worstOH, SHIT, A SUBJECT FOR YET ANOTHER THREAD -- THIS NEVER ENDS; DOES IT?

I'm so glad I've finally come here, I've had this site bookmarked for a year.

PS: GIVE PREVIEW BUTTON OR RITO

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I'm not going to lie: I spent the entire Saturday laying in bed, reading a few articles, and obsessing over a video of a Korean girl group. It was amazing; I don't feel guilty at all. I mean

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Ha, I think I'll stick with the other kind of cute girls for now. Having a larger window to parent a healthy child is a part of actual male privilege. I personally can't say I mind.

I've been doing some more writing, but it's all highly political, and I don't want to make this journal about such topics.

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I'm still alive. I'm not sure how nearly an entire month flew by, but time flies when you're having fun ... leveling a priest on a brand new WotLK private server to level 45, and then deleting it when the cognitive, emotional, and perhaps even some kind of spiritual dissonance becomes to much. It seems to be easy to start drifting towards spirituality when you start to fully understand how addicted you are. I saw a lot of this in addicts in the past; usually, it was Christianity.

I've spent most of the night negotiating with myself whether am I going to drink for the next few days or not. At the end, around 3 PM, I've taken medication that negates the effect of alcohol for about 24 hours and lessens the cravings. I'm not a fan of meds, but these specific pills are gods... let's just say I'm grateful for them.

I'm so fucked.

On the other hand, I'm writing and studying again. I just spend an hour learning how to use Gimp (image editing program similar to Photoshop). Do I get a trophy?

Right now, I can't imagine how I'd start playing WoW yet again. There is nowhere to play. I've deleted my last two characters, burned all the bridges with people I've played with ... there is nothing left. It's almost a shame because I met a very interesting guy on that last server. It was one of those encounters when you tell each other everything right away, and I need to admit I've missed that so badly. But, that only means, and I know that, I know, that I need to get out more. I can't be friends with someone who's not only deeply addicted to the game, but also extremely good at it. It wouldn't work.

Anyway, I'm out of private servers worth playing on. And I'm not going back to retail for a number of reasons I can't be bother to get into here.

So, we're good. For now.

Oddly enough, Life is Strange, a popular adventure game, still sits on my hard drive, and I'm still yet to play the thing. I prefer just to watch the gameplay vids on YouTube even though I'll probably pick it up at some point. The story is very well crafted and the characters really enjoyable. Adverb is not your friend, says Stephen King. Get the fuck out of your apartment and stop making imaginary characters a part of your emotional life -- I'm sure he'd agree with that as well.

myYQkLs.jpg

 

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Yes all I wanted to see are cute emo girls and now I don't even know what we are talking about.

;)

Go ahead with GIMP or studying! You will feel how you have some real progression in something, not like when you play a game for the 50'000 time...

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Cam, may I ask what happened to some of my longer posts on page 1? They seem to be cut off: large parts are missing.

We just moved the forum to a new database, some posts are missing/have bugs/errors. Our team is working through them right now.

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Hi Marchosias. Welcome back. Fortunately I read all your posts before the bugs.

You did earn something by learning GIMP: a great tool you can use on any operating system for free! So you save yourself (or your employer) quite some money.

I also noticed how many addicts turn to religion, especially Christianity, when sobering up. My favorite example is Dave Mustaine, the singer and guitarist of Megadeth. While those people say they've been saved by god I'm always tempted to dismiss it as brain damage from the addiction. Then I slap myself in the face and remind me that whatever works for us, whatever makes us better people, is the right way to go.

I used to be very fond of virtual characters. I kicked them away and made room for real people. I found out that social relationships give back what you put into them. Be consistent and yes, be insistent too :) If you really want to become friends with somebody (and to stay friends!), you must be there.

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Welcome back!  I'm really glad you're here again!

I have turned to meditation since I quit games instead of Christianity.  I left that religion after being raised in it and truly believing in it.  I didn't really pay much attention to spirituality for a lot of years, but I'm slowly starting to think about it more.  What I like about meditation is that I get to observe and get to know myself.  Nobody indoctrinates me into any belief or promises me any rewards or punishments for my behavior.  As I get to know myself through mindfulness and meditation, I learn who I am and what I want to do with my life.  Doing the things that my inner self, not my ego, wants to do just makes me a lot happier.  My ego just wants to be entertained, be idle, and fit in with a clique.  Beneath that, I have found that my deeper self wants to achieve, be unique, and help others when I can.  This is all stuff that I can say and have known for years, but there's something very much different to be able to look at yourself and see it there just waiting to be unleashed.

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Hey, I'm still alive and well. Just haven't felt much like keeping a diary here, but I'll start posting a bit more now.

By the way, you people should really support Cam on the social media. Gamequitters has a YouTube, Facebook, and a Twitter account, and more often than not they don't get a lot of likes/shares/etc. Meanwhile, these forums are getting filled with posts every day -- perhaps show some of that cool secret treehouse club stuff to the world.

It's true that it only takes a couple of clicks to reach the forums, but in the lands of internet, a few clicks is an epic and difficult journey only a few complete.

You need to mash your stuff to people's faces while not making them feel like you're mashing stuff to their faces*. So, go and spam those likes, favorites, and shares. It's important for this place to grow further.

Perhaps we can get some more (emo?) girls in here?

Emo+Girls+Hairstyles+%25287%2529.jpg


*This is probably also the reason Cam isn't telling you to engage his social media in his every post. But he thinks it every time. KEEP THAT IN MIND

EDIT: Woo, edit function is here!

Edited by Marchosias
CELEBRATING THE GLORIOUS EDIT FUNCTION

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Oh yeah, we should start bullying people into doing it more. It just looks sad when your FB post has two likes while everyone's posting on this forum every day. If I were a random person checking out Gamequitters on FB (or Twitter), my impression would be it's either a new site, or that no one cares about this guy who thinks gaming is bad LOLOLO. What else is supposed to be bad? PORN? LOL XD.

i play games coz i like it lol dont tell me wat too do haha.gaming is cool and u cant get addicted to it its not heroin,i can stp when i want. fkn hippie lol u think u smart

Well, anyway ...

After reading your FB link about distractions, I've installed a program that blocks certain websites for a set duration. I'm sure the thing can be somehow disabled, but I doubt it can be done in a second, which is all that takes to start messing around without it. As the brilliant delicioustacos put it:

I did that this morning, if you can’t tell. Coffee cereal shit shower shave. In the shower I thought about Important Matters. I read Raymond Carver’s “Elephant,” which used minimal language and dealt with AA related themes I can deeply relate to. I did all that shit and then sat down to type but first I looked at Tinder for one instant. Now this.

Thoughts fly away as I grasp them. If I could catch them they’d be the One Big Story that’d change my life. But I looked at one tweet. Hey white gamers who think Charleston cops guns republicans black people signal boost transphobia, said some whiteboy. I hate cops too but some third tier Salon freelancer chiding me makes me wish all ethnic minorities would be rounded up and exterminated, just to piss that guy off. I could unfollow him but then how would I be miserable.

Been working on writing short smut, and while that may sound exciting, it really is far more of a job than one might imagine. So, I do my best to write first thing in the morning, and lately that often turned into shitposting on social media ... instead of writing short "erotica" women of my mother's age read. Good thing my actual mother isn't very good at English and doesn't own an e-reader. I have to admit that some of this smut is still fairly well written, and it makes me feel uneasy at times -- since I still have long way to go before I get to that level.

Not being a native speaker sux. If only I'd be Japanese or something. Like with my Slavic language, there's no real reason to learn Japanese too (they all want you to speak English anyway), but at least it makes you look cool to weeaboo emo girls. As a Slav, I'm on a constant mission not to sound like Borat instead.

tumblr_nf9ljeWuta1qdzxq9o1_500.jpg

(Unsurprisingly, finding a picture of a weeaboo emo girl was easy.)

Edited by Marchosias
I DONT NEED A REASON FOR EDIT ANARCHY ANARCHY

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