Now that I think about at least in real life I have only talked with my girlfriend about it.
In the forums I have no problem talking about it because I assume most gamers are/were avid porn watchers, but perhaps I'm making a mistake and just embarrassing people.
I can stop talking about it in your journal if you'd like.

I personally don't mind; I just kinda wonder how come others don't mind since I'm generally ok with a number of things others don't seem to be, idk.

We can talk about porn all day!

I don't exactly understand those who manage to obsess with various mainstream porn stars; as far as I'm concerned, amateur is the shit. The only exception to that would perhaps be outdoor/public/risky videos that kinda fall under professional production because you can see the excitement on the actress' face -- genuine emotion as opposed to just the standard act. But this is why amateur porn is a lot better in general.

The real issue with "public" video is that women are, at their very core, deceptive creatures and will do their best to minimize the risk of getting caught to near zero while still selling themselves as oh so exposed and being in public. Your back yard is not public, slut. This is also true for pro stuff like FTV Girls.

Porn discussion.

Gotta earn my NSFW tag before Cam takes it away. Who will click on my journal then.

 

Edited September 6, 20169 yr by Marquess

I actually don't know what FSFW means and am too lazy to google it. I never mind a good porn discussion. But on the other Hand  I do not to use porn because it makes me lazy. Imagination is the real deal  

 Cam, the reason I joined and gave this a shot wasn't just because the community seemed nice and aproachable. It was because everyone here actually knows what it's like being a gamer. We're here because we were all gamers at one point, and we all know the struggle it brings in our lives. I can't even begin to describe how I started to feel upon that realization.

I feel like the gaming community has a right to be defensive. It's so pathetically easy for someone who doesn't play games to look at a gamer and say pssh, you're clearly wasting your life, when they've never been in their shoes to understand why they do it in the first place. For the longest time I've resisted getting help from my family to stop playing video games, because they don't have a clue as to what I've been through. They only saw me on the outside, the real me, not the online hero I had built myself up to be. They only saw the negatives, while I only saw the positives. But everyone here knows both. I think the gaming community would be more willing to listen to people who at one point were just like them. That's what you should emphasize. Yes, we've ALL been there too, but here's why we stopped. If that was made clear from the very beginning, I believe it would lower many shields.

Heh, online hero.

Thanks for the feedback!

This feedback is spot on. It's like surrounding yourself with people who are trying to achieve the same as you. 

Now that I think about at least in real life I have only talked with my girlfriend about it.
In the forums I have no problem talking about it because I assume most gamers are/were avid porn watchers, but perhaps I'm making a mistake and just embarrassing people.
I can stop talking about it in your journal if you'd like.

I personally don't mind; I just kinda wonder how come others don't mind since I'm generally ok with a number of things others don't seem to be, idk.

We can talk about porn all day!

I didn't mean to talk about the variety, lol. I ment it's negative effects and why I seem to always be preaching against it.

I actually don't know what FSFW means and am too lazy to google it. I never mind a good porn discussion. But on the other Hand  I do not to use porn because it makes me lazy. Imagination is the real deal  

That's NSFW meaning Not Safe For Work, save you a google search. I think the problem is porn and not so much fapping.

 

 

I actually don't know what FSFW means and am too lazy to google it. I never mind a good porn discussion. But on the other Hand  I do not to use porn because it makes me lazy. Imagination is the real deal  

But on the other Hand  I do not to use porn because it makes me lazy.

Hand

i c wat u did hear m9

I feel like the gaming community has a right to be defensive. It's so pathetically easy for someone who doesn't play games to look at a gamer and say pssh, you're clearly wasting your life, when they've never been in their shoes to understand why they do it in the first place.

For the longest time I've resisted getting help from my family to stop playing video games, because they don't have a clue as to what I've been through. They only saw me on the outside, the real me, not the online hero I had built myself up to be. They only saw the negatives, while I only saw the positives. But everyone here knows both. I think the gaming community would be more willing to listen to people who at one point were just like them. That's what you should emphasize. Yes, we've ALL been there too, but here's why we stopped. If that was made clear from the very beginning, I believe it would lower many shields.

Heh, online hero.

Thing is, or at least that's my impression, most people who do quit video games simply move on with their lives and stop talking about it (at least in public). It's really important that we remain active here and on social media even after we sort out our lives; what I think would benefit us is a more active, even aggressive, attitude.

An addict will fight with everything they have when their destructive behavior is pointed out. Until their lives aren't painful enough, and until they realize that they do, in fact, have a problem, it doesn't matter whether it's us or someone else telling them they need to quit. I'm not sure how much the fact that we've been there can help. Perhaps some.

In my opinion, there's room for all kinds of approaches: softer and harsher. And of course, individuals should never ever be attacked in any way; what I have in mind with "aggressive" is more directed towards video game companies that now very obviously create those games with an intention to addict ... and then there's also general criticism of the gaming culture itself.

This is all rather subjective; I'm not really a people person, so I'd rather focus on areas that don't have so much to do with constantly dealing with people 1 on 1, tbh.

Edited September 6, 20169 yr by Marquess

 

I didn't mean to talk about the variety, lol. I ment it's negative effects and why I seem to always be preaching against it.

I know what the effects are. I just don't want to bother with quitting it right now; I'd typically fap once every one or two days as it is, which is pretty manageable and a severe decrease from how things used to be. Especially when I still drank regularly.

When you improve certain areas of your life, some of your present negative behaviors will diminish as well. This is why you don't have to bother with quitting & fixing everything right away -- you're likely to run out of energy, and it's not necessary.

I may have found some work that'll allow me to earn enough for The Cure concert and to make some other more urgent purchases.

It's nothing amazing, and the pay isn't that great, but it's online. We'll see in a few days. I've actually been sending out applications since Monday for all sorts of stuff.

Not being from the US is a factor though.

 

Feel really tired and agitated right now.

 

 

Edited September 7, 20169 yr by Marquess

yay.

I need to take some bullshit test as well, but it should be easy & I'll prepare for it anyway. It's a shitty transcription job, but it's at least something to do while I'm getting something else, something better going.

Still waiting for some other replies though. One is from a guy who's basically paying people for creating convincing fake profiles to then test his fake profile recognition software on.

Edited September 7, 20169 yr by Marquess

If there is a job interview and they ask "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?", what will you answer?

Edited September 8, 20169 yr by Fagus

Woot!

If there is a job interview and they ask "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?, what will you answer?

"Having sex with your daughter, sir."

MOTHERFUCKER MY DAUGHTER IS *insert age* OLD.

Edited September 8, 20169 yr by Marquess

If there is a job interview and they ask "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?, what will you answer?

"Having sex with your daughter, sir."

MOTHERFUCKER MY DAUGHTER IS *insert age* OLD.

*18 light.* Shit you awakened the bad side of me

Started organizing my pictures a little. There's also a gamequitters folder.

This still looks sad, tbh ...

If there is a job interview and they ask "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?", what will you answer?

But srsly, I have no idea. I'll be 40 in 10 years. I expect to be a distinctly different person in at least a few ways by then.

I think I'll have a lot clearer answer to this in a few months or perhaps even sooner. I still haven't gone to the therapist to sort out my problem, so until that isn't dealt with, I honestly can't say how my life will look like in a decade. I think it'll be pretty amazing either way. Good things seem to come to me as long as I show at least a minimum amount of effort and cooperation.

Do you use a foot pedal for transcriptions? or how does it works?

Do you use a foot pedal for transcriptions? or how does it works?

Foot pedal is more of a meme. In most media players, you can set up "global hotkeys" that affect the player even if it isn't active.

That way, you can type in your text editor (in an active window) and still command the media player in the background with the keyboard.

Another option is to use a plugin that slows down the recording, but that can make it harder to understand, which can be a serious issue sometimes.

Edited September 9, 20169 yr by Marquess

 fhdhwj

Edited September 12, 20169 yr by Marquess

This forum is teeming with normies.

The reason I care, and the reason they're wrong to care, to get annoyed by me: there's very few weird people, but normies are everywhere.

I walk out and I'm immediately facing a blast after blast of normality that would be triggering to me if I haven't gotten used to it many years ago. It's the only way to survive. Meanwhile, an occasional person out of the ordinary is too much to them; they need to react; sometimes, they even get angry.

I get angry too but mostly due to my inability to reach any amount of happiness and fulfillment. Not because of normal people, not because of the world. I accept it for what it is, but they won't ever accept me.

Which is, again, fine. I can deal with it well enough; I just wish I could build a life for myself that wouldn't have to be so affected by them.

I would go and live alone in complete isolation, but my need for socializing with others is too deeply ingrained to ignore.

I need to eat, piss, shit, and socialize. Live.

 

Edited September 12, 20169 yr by Marquess

This forum is teeming with normies.

The reason I care, and the reason they're wrong to care, to get annoyed by me: there's very few weird people, but normies are everywhere.

    I would go and live alone in complete isolation, but my need for socializing with others is too deeply ingrained to ignore.

Well, aren't there any places in this world full of abnormies? I think the bigger a place gets, the higher the chances are to find someone that is like you. That's why living in the countryside with a few ordinary people means the death for most abnormies.

It's not much of an issue with the internet making it possible to meet like-minded people. You still need to organize yourself in a way that lets you live in this world, which may include thing like moving abroad, etc. I can't even do that right now.

I've really just been bitching about my situation for the past two days, and it's really not productive at all. Even I don't like doing it, and so I'll stop.

Everyone is weird. Most people just don't show it. Lol

I don't think that's very accurate.

Well, what do you think separates you from normal people?

I don't think that's very accurate.

(some just show it more. lol)

>log in to discord chat

Someone said "there are opportunities everywhere".

No there aren't. There are no opportunities at all. At least not for people like me.

I signed up to Upwork. Had a weird feeling I better use a throwaway e-mail first to see how the entire thing even works, and I was so right. They literally RE-QUIRE you to post you real life headshot, address, and a phone number. Everything. Your entire life. My entire life is shit, and I'm from Slovenia, which is, as we've established before, worse than being from India when it comes to whoring yourself on shitcontent shitwebsites.

Upwork is useless for me. What am I going to tell them.

So I checked up Fiverr because I knew that it doesn't pressure you for real life data as much or at all. I manage to make a profile and start looking at others to figure out how to set everything up. Well, everyone has 3 degrees, 80 years of experience, links to blogs/portfolios, beaming headshots, and of course they're all native speakers that can write in both US and UK English.

How am I supposed to go against that. I can't even fake being an American through a VPN since it's then impossible to withdraw any money I may make. I won't make anything.

It's useless.

That's not to even mention that fact that, as a non-native speaker, it's hard for me to adopt a new vocabulary / style, which is kinda required if you're doing general article writing. For example, if the article is supposed to be about camping equipment, I have to learn an entire new set of expressions. And this is absolutely possible, and it does get better with time, but it's just an additional hurdle you can never disregard.

Besides, I've made a Fiverr profile once before; no one contacted me. You need to promote, and I have nowhere to promote it; I have no real network. So that really is it.

I spent 2 days trying to get iWriter going, but there doesn't seem to be enough jobs to even rank up to start earning anything real. I mean, shit, I'll have to go back to iWriter yet again because I have no other options, but this is terrible. I can also do transcription, which pays nothing, but it at least is reliable and easy. I'll be able to see The Cure after all if I decide to ... though that doesn't bring me anywhere closer to a long term solution I desperately need.

There are other options. Other approaches.

As always, I know what I need to do in order to improve my situation; it's just that it remains to be terrible as it is. How is that surprising.

Edited September 14, 20169 yr by Marquess