NEW VIDEO: Why You MUST Quit Gaming in 2025
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Kam, you're doing amazing! 🎉 I'm glad your detox is going strong, it sounds like you have plenty of strategies and things to do to meet your needs and keep you busy! You mentioned you look forward to books these days; in my own detox I've also been delighted at how stuff I used to find unbearably dull like reading or knitting is now something I look forward to! I appreciate how activities like that feel... relaxing in a way that's less overstimulating, somehow? I used to play games to calm down, but then usually had to re-calm down after that to actually sleep. In a lot of your updates you've said you miss games and I'm the same. I think maybe I will always miss them, or that it will take many years for that to fade. But I have written down the reasons why I wanted to quit, and looking at that list it's full of things I definitely don't miss. I've been thinking about ways I could maybe explore the things I really loved about my favourite games after quitting - maybe I could turn my minecraft base plans into a fantasy/worldbuilding art project, or maybe I can play a TTRPG with my family that has a similar vibe and setting to a sci-fi space game I loved - but for right now thinking about those projects just triggers a huge desire to go back and play those games again, which I know I would really regret. Keep on keeping on! 💖
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Mouse's Journal: Progress in Tiny Steps
station mouse replied to station mouse's topic in Daily Journals
Thank you! 😄 That is really good advice actually, so I appreciate it! My first instinct is usually shame or to get angry with myself, but I know how much a moment of mindfulness can help ground me and let me be more reasonable and kinder to myself. Using my phone like that is a bad habit that I've worn into my brain's pathways every day for years, it's not going to go away overnight, and thats's OK! I can keep trying, every day, and it will get easier 🙂 -
Mouse's Journal: Progress in Tiny Steps
station mouse replied to station mouse's topic in Daily Journals
Hi everyone! It's been about a week and a half since I posted here and I just wanted to check in. I've been looking for alternatives to the game quitters forum, because this site has big permanent links to both youtube and discord pinned alllll over the place, and those are both social medias I can get stuck to and binge in for hours, so I'd really like to avoid that. (I just had to check the forum rules that talking about other sites isn't against them, I don't want to get slapped for "advertising" lol, just want to keep a record of what I've been trying.) I first found a forum called Talking Sober, which is a wonderfully positive and active community, but not a lot for gaming & social media addicts specifically, and it wasn't long until I was checking that forum for replies/likes compulsively the same way I am trying to avoid on social media in general. A lot of people there have had good experiences with 12 step programmes though, so I did some searching and there are a couple of 12 step programmes for folks like us (specifically ITAA, MAA, and GAA that I have found. MAA and ITAA seem to be bigger and therefore have more resources available) I know 12 step isn't for everyone, I know I balked hard at one I tried a few years ago (IIRC I think I went to just one meeting that was kind of a downer, didn't stay for chit chat afterwards, and then decided the whole thing sucked.) They're a lot easier if you're at least open to getting a bit spiritual for example (although I was happy to discover they work hard to grow away from their christian roots, and ITAA has an atheist meeting so I guess people do find ways to make it work) but so far I'm really appreciating the big heap of available resources and how the zoom meetings almost always leave me feeling hopeful and less alone. Anyway! Hope you're all doing well! Another update... whenever I remember next -
Mouse's Journal: Progress in Tiny Steps
station mouse replied to station mouse's topic in Daily Journals
yesterday's One Goal: Done! I only got it in just before midnight and so missed out on some sleep but I did get it in and that's the important part. yesterday's Small Improvement: didn't do it yesterday but given it'll take 5 min I'll do it right now... OK, done! today's One Goal: At least 4 hours of study today's Small Improvement: set a timer and unf*ck my room a little, not just the normal quick tidy Slow start today (I'm so tired) but it's noon and I have time blocked out my afternoon, so I'm already doing better than yesterday. I spent a sum total of over 5 hours watching shorts yesterday and it was miserable. Sure, sometimes they have fun facts but mostly it's stuff I don't care about or actively do not want to see. I hate how I have no concept of time while watching them, I just feel stuck and hypnotised until something pulls me out and I go "f*cks sake what have I been doing for the past 2 hours". Ugh. Anyway, got to dash so no time for much reflection today. Oh, I won't be updating tomorrow because it's the sabbbath (which I haven't always kept but I appreciate it more as I get older) so wishing you all a good weekend! -
Hi Kam! Just read through your 9 days so far and you're doing amazing! Really awesome that you're putting thought into it and trying to find replacement activities, that is so important! I believe grumpiness is pretty normal, especially in the early days. Trying to stay somewhat mindful of how you're feeling throughout the day was helpful for me, I have a little mental list of things that calm me down (though the hard part is that angry-me doesn't think are too stupid to give a try 😅 "meditate right now?? fat chance!") Do you have a plan for how you'll handle it if you do "relapse" during these 90 days? I feel it's important to ask because I'm really rooting for you to be able to pick yourself up and continue if it does happen, and it happens to almost everybody who's working to overcome this. I know for myself how demoralising that can be, but it's a little easier if you can say "I knew this was a possibility, here's the steps I'm going take next, here's how I'm going to learn from it" and suchlike. Good luck with the next 80 days! You got this!
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Mouse's Journal: Progress in Tiny Steps
station mouse replied to station mouse's topic in Daily Journals
Thursday 16th Jan 2025 Oh boy! I'm back here again! It feels silly to make a third journal thread, so I'll just keep tacking entries on here even if the way I want to approach goals changes over time. Since 2021 things have been pretty rough (honestly I can't really remember what I've been doing each year, it's all mush, I should start keeping a diary) but I don't really want to get into it online. My current circumstances are pretty good! I'm living with family, I'm finishing my maths degree through distance learning, I'm jogging consistently, and I think I've finally crawled out of the valley of Depression I've been stuck in for a little over a decade. Yay! But I know I'm always at risk of slipping back there, so I need to always prioritise things that keep depression at bay. The biggest news is I haven't played games for over two months! I wish I could tell you how exactly I stopped, but the truth is it was a very gradual process over that last 4 years during which I tried and failed a lot of different methods, each time learning a little more about how things affect me and what I can/can't cope with. If I were to guess which was the most impactful, I think it was when I spent a week (it was supposed to be a month, but I fizzled out before then) using strictly only technology that is absolutley necessary to my life. No phone, no music, no car, only the absolute basics. The first few days I felt incredible, but most of it really really sucked, but I put a lot of time and thought that week into what I actually want tech to do to improve my life and that was super enlightening. For example: I use entertainment (youtube, games, scrolling, whatever) to help manage difficult emotions. I kind of knew this, but it never really clicked until that one week. I would get so angry or upset or lonely and have no idea how to handle it because, for as long as I can remember, my response to that is just hide from the world and numb with entertainment until it passes. But I found that music (especially if I haven't been overstimulating myself constantly and I can actually appreciate it instead of feeling like it's not enough,) is a fantastic way to regulate and calm down just enough that I can either get on with sh*t or have enough breathing space to stop and actually think what to do. I feel a little bit stupid that I'm only learning this basic stuff at nearly 30 but I know it's not my fault, I've been trying really hard for a really long time. Unfortunately, the flipside of that good news is that I've switched to reels/shorts/tiktok (all the same thing really) as my new avoidance strategy. Not good! (Also I'm running out of time to write this post so I need to cut this short and wrap up. More tomorrow, probably) 3 Successes Yesterday: went to sign language class even though I was nervous took my sibling for a walk time tracking is going well 1 Goal for Today: submit my assignment! hopefully it's not overdue, whoops 1 Small Life Improvement: trim down morning routine plan to something I can actually complete in an hour -
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Tuesday 15th June 2021 I was very surprised to find that I already have an account on this forum (and even started a journal thread here last year.) I'd completely forgotten about it! If anything though, it proves that I've been very aware of my gaming addiction for a long time now. It might be helpful for me to write more specifically about my bad experiences with games later but for this first entry I just want to say: I start playing computer games without intending to and/or I find it difficult or impossible to stop, and that's eaten a lot of my time for years now and contributed to failures and screw ups. It's a numbing activity that prevents me from dealing with things I feel even a little negative about. I don't want to do it anymore. It's not even fun, half the time I'm playing I'm bored and not enjoying myself, I just can't summon the idea of doing anything else. I'm not going to commit to any specific format for my journal entries (because I know whatever I decide I'll get bored and want to change later) but I do think some goal tracking will be useful and motivating, so long as I don't overcomplicate them or have too many going on at once. time checks for today: No games- 11 hours No YouTube- 45 minutes (gotta start somewhere 😆) Goal for today: shower (reward: ice-cream) Goal for this week: plan summer calendar (including booking tickets etc. and sending arrangements emails) (reward: boat watching or visiting Isaac) I hope everyone reading is having a good day and remembered to take their medication if applicable ❤️
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Time started: 1:08 pm Day count: day 0 with no games, day 0 with no youtube I am feeling: uuggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm existentially tired, I think is an ok phrase for it. Or, let's be real, what I'm feeling is depression. My meds can only do so much and I haven't been getting exercise enough and I didn't even go outside yesterday. It would also help if I was achieving anything rather than just passing the time. As it stands, I feel like a heap of soggy rice pretending to be a person. There's a thick sheet of padding over my head and it's heavy and it's muffling the world. I'm going to listen to some Mother Mother to feel better and order my repeat meds. If I can achieve 2 things without being prompted by my Mum today I'll call it a success. One of them should be some exam because I'm feeling real guilty about those this week 😕 What could have been better yesterday: gone outside Winning Streaks! Daily Tasks: take meds x0, brush teeth twice x0, shower x0 Weekly-ish Tasks: laundry x2, shave x0, chores x1 Helpful Tasks: meditate x0, read book/comic x0, exercise x0 Quests from yesterday: Apply for student Finance ✔️ buy hoover attachment, suncream, sunhats, and makeup brushes for family ❌ order repeat prescription ❌ Quests for today this afternoon: order repeat prescription submit probability exam walk to mum's house Time completed: 1:19 pm
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Time started: 12:05 Day count: 0 days with no games, 0 days with no youtube I am feeling: good, but I can't say the same of how I've been feeling lately, hence I didn't post for a while How I did yesterday: geez I can't even remember... I missed my meds (and everything else) for a few days there which wasn't great. The weather is very warm which hasn't been helping (I hate hot weather) What could have been better yesterday: shower earlier, don't use laptop in bed Winning Streaks! Daily Tasks: take meds x1, brush teeth twice x0, shower x1 Weekly-ish Tasks: laundry x2, shave x1, chores x0 Helpful Tasks: meditate x0, read book/comic x0, exercise x2 Quests from yesterday: laundry ✔️ Quests for today: Apply for student Finance buy hoover attachment, suncream, sunhats, and makeup brushes for family order repeat prescription Time completed: 12:09
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Time started: 10:32 am, I slept late because I was up until like 3 last night Day count: 1 day with no games / 0 days with no youtube I am feeling: physically, pretty damn good. I slept well, even if it was later than it should be, and I got up, dressed, and had breakfast just now. I forget how things like that, taking care of yourself, can make you feel so much fuckin better. How I did yesterday: reasonably well! After a very slow start to the day, I focused for 40 minutes on my exams, which is much less than I hoped for, but given that I was also fending off impulses to open Steam the whole damn day and I didn't, I'm happy with how I did. However last night is a different story- I thought I would watch a couple of youtube videos before I went to sleep but it turned out I couldn't stop watching stuff until 3am even though I felt exhausted and grumpy. Winning Streaks! Daily Tasks: take meds x6, brush teeth twice x0, shower x2 Weekly-ish Tasks: laundry x1, shave x0, chores x2 Helpful Tasks: meditate x0, read book/comic x1, exercise x2 Quests from yesterday: shave ❌ work 2 hours on probability exam 😐 find comic series to start reading ✔️ Quests for today: complete probability exam shave tidy room Time completed: 10:45 am
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Time started: 12:44, I just had lunch Day count: 0 days with no games and no youtube I am feeling: kind of like I'm useless garbage but also cautiously hopeful. I've been trying to quit for a week and still haven't managed it but writing here always feels like another chance, or a little fresh start, something like that. It's nice! @Marek and @obelix_mtg, thank you for your replies! I don't think I'm in the right state of mind yet to decide if I'll want to go back to gaming after this. Right now everything in me screams NOOO MY PRECIOUS!!! when I think about deleting them and I've been spending time daydreaming about what I'll do in the Sims ~in the future~. After I've managed to not play anything for a while, I'll see how I'm thinking then and make a more serious and sensible decision. How I did yesterday: pretty terrible. I didn't do anything except play Sims and lie to my Mum that I was working. I turned it off a bunch of times but always ended up booting it up again after 5 minutes. What's really been getting to me hasn't been boredom but routine. It's such an ingrained habit that, after breakfast I play for a "little bit" (usually ends up being the whole day or morning), and that when I get home after dinner I play a "little bit" before I go to bed. Trying to get myself to do something other than what has become part of my usual routine is like Sisyphus pushing that rock up a hill. At least I sat with my family while they watched H2G2 yesterday. Sure, I was playing Sims and not paying attention, but Mum has said she appreciates it when I'm around. That's pretty sad, that I've driven her to such low standards for me. Today I have moved to the dining table to write this and attempt some work afterwards. It's nice because my brother is also working here so we're chilling together. (Also it's nice because it's right by the kitchen so I can get myself a new cup of tea whenever 😍) What could have been better yesterday: I think one problem may have been that every time I was like "right, I'm going to do some work now", I didn't get up from my bed. I'm used to sitting on my bed to play games, it's my relaxing place, so of course if I sit there with my laptop and textbook, I'm just going to do what I always do with my laptop while I'm sat there (play some more games). Winning Streaks! Daily Tasks: take meds x5, brush teeth twice x0, shower x1 Weekly-ish Tasks: laundry x1, shave x0, chores x1 Helpful Tasks: meditate x0, read book/comic x0, exercise x1 Yesterday's Quests: N/A Quests for today: shave work 2 hours on probability exam when I am bored, find a comic series to start reading Time completed: 1:21pm (bit too long oops)
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a quick update but I was able to uninstall my games this morning and I'm feeling pretty chuffed 💪
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Fri 22 may short post sorry, i am nonverbal today Streaks: (Days with...) no games: 0 no youtube: 0 meds (pills) 3 meds (treatment) 0 shower 1 brush teeth twice: 0 meditation: 0 complete daily task: 1 bonus task: 0 task today: submit probability exam bonus: apply student finance remember: shave, sew C's badges, get shoes, L here tomorrow
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Weds 20th May Ay folks I'm going to have to start over, and also I've decided to write these the morning after, because I need something to do in my morning coffee break and because I'm usually optimistic in the morning and depressed in the evening. Also it'll be nice to plan my days all out first thing in the morning? So anyway, yesterday was an unmitigated disaster. I played Sims solidly all day and didn't shower or do my teeth at all, didn't even eat anything until 3pm. At least I got to my Mum's place on time and successfully made dinner for the kids (it was vegetable gratin with sweet potato and caugette and it was delicious. As a bonus, Little A really likes it which is great because she hardly eats any fruit/vegetables and gratin is like, entirely veggies!) If nothing else, yesterday has shown me that doing a "cold turkey" video games thing is necessary for me. Yesterday I was like "I'll play for half an hour" and, well, that didn't happen. I'll aim for 80 days because... no reason really, I just don't like the number 90. I guess I could aim for 100? 100 is a nice number, I'll do that. There will be one exception to my personal video game ban, and that is Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 8pm, because I host game nights for my friends and family over Zoom, which are very important and one of the only ways we're keeping in touch during the lockdown. Fotunately they have the advantage of being naturally regulated in terms of timings. I'll also be quitting watching anything on YouTube, because I have exactly the same problem as with games with time management when I'm binge watching videos (which is so easy to do on that site 😟). Most of what I was watching was video game related anyway so would have been advised against by the game quitters how to. Anyway here's the ticky box bit: Streaks: (Days with...) no games: 0 no youtube: 0 meds (pills): 2 meds (skin treatment): 0 showered: 0 brushed teeth twice: 0 meditated (mindfullness or trance): 0 completed daily task: 0 completed bonus task: 1 Today my daily task is: to complete my probability exam (hopefully I will pass) Today my bonus task is: shaving Things to remember: apply for student finance, L is here on Saturday(?)
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It's not the type of games that causes problems, it's how bad for you your attitude and behaviour with them is. Although some games (like online/multiplayer games) are easier to get hooked on than others! For me, I play single player games that aren't even very exciting, like the Sims, but I played for solid hours and hours at a time and neglected to care for myself or do any of my responsibilities. All video games fulfil one of the 4 things we go to them looking for (socialisation, escape, achievement, or challenge) so even the games that aren't well known to be addictive can cause problems for you and you can end up where playing them is the primary thing you do with your life. For example, you could even have a problem with simple games like candy crush or even freaking snake, because they give you a feeling of achievement or challenge or they let you stop thinking about any negative things that are happening in your real life. If online games are causing a problem for you, then absolutely it is a good idea to get rid of them. The risk when you replace them with a different video game is that you're just going to fall into the same patterns of behaviour with that new game, even though it's maybe even boring. The reason the 90 day "detox" is a thing, is it gives you time to learn new habits and behaviour patterns that are benficial for you. You can pick up activities to fill your time that will improve your health or smarts or living situation. Yeah, you'll be bored and you'll miss games and want to replace them with some "less bad" video games, but in the end that's still your video game habit, even if it's slightly different. If you have a lot of self discipline, and you really don't want to "detox" (the detox doesn't have to be 90 days, it can be whatever amount of time you personally need), you can try gaming in moderation. This is where you only play video games at certain times of day (probably in the late afternoon) once you have done everything else you need to do. Trying to quit a video game addiction or bad video game habit using gaming in moderation is often much harder than quitting cold turkey, though. Think everything through and make plans for whichever choice you make. Good luck!