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liam

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About liam

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  1. Thank you for the encouragement and advice, I can definitely say that I'm working a little harder! The difference is that I'm trying to fill me life with other things, and it's going ok so far 🙂 I actually haven't installed those apps, I didn't do much research in things that physically block games - I will have a look at them this evening, I can see how they would certainly be helpful! I'm onto episode #10 of the original series, so not too far off 14! I'll be sure to write my thoughts when I get there 🙂 Haha - its certainly 'different', plenty of laugh out loud moments though! It's easy to listen to casually, which is nice when you're doing other things i.e. working, cooking, cleaning etc. The slight edge is amazing. I'm over half way though in just 4-5 days, if you start reading I'd highly recommend continuing even if you get bored. It's basically about the concept of how small, every day actions have a compounding effect over time, and is the difference between success and failure. I think it lends itself perfectly to what many of us are trying to achieve here - we want big gains, but we have to realise that they come slowly with consistent, small, positive choices, rather than a single life-changing event. I'm really trying to apply it to my detox period. Highly recommended! Day 10) I've been trying to get into a 7am start routine, and its been tough for the first few days, though I know it will become more natural and easier as time goes by. My plan is to maybe knock it down to 6:30, then 6, etc, once I get used to each time. The general goal is to get up earlier and have a solid routine, so that I can achieve more before starting work. This doesn't mean getting up and frantically doing tasks or forcing myself to follow some course on Udemy as I've done in the past - no, this time I mean things like walking in the forest for 30-45 mins with a coffee and podcast, strumming my guitar, or reading. As I mentioned above, the book I'm reading (The Slight Edge) talks about small changes adding up to great rewards, and these are the kinds of small, minimal effort yet productive things I'm trying to introduce to my day. My morning walks have been incredible - I honestly am blown away by the calming, anti-depressant effect that nature can have. So many mornings I spent waking up and jumping straight into a game of DOTA, closing the blinds at sunrise so the light didn't glint off the screen. This seems foolish now of course 😄 The jury is still out on my ability to be social without anxiety, and to not be snappy when my current task/routine are interrupted - this is something I hope to be mindful of every day, and improve over time. To @BooksandTrees, @giblets, @sskieller, @Ikar, @EpicJ0J0, @FenderUser and everyone else who I've interacted with so far on this forum - thank you. You're words, which you didn't have to take the time to write, have more of a far reaching effect than you realise. I wish you all the best and a pleasant weekend to all!
  2. Thanks mate - its really an inspiration to see how active you are on these forums helping people who just need the extra little push. I really appreciate the sentiment! Day 9) Today I spend ~15 minutes in the morning preparing a sort of 'daily checklist/diary' template in Notion that I can just replicate every day, outlining a few things every day: - Steps in my morning routine - Some daily 'slight edges', i.e. small and mundane things I can do each day, that I'm hoping will compound over time - Daily tasks and intentions, if I have anything extra to accomplish - Things I'm grateful for - Steps in my evening routine Many of these are checkboxes that I can tick off as I do things throughout the day, and also with a little space to write something each day as I please. I think it was a productive way to spend my time, as I hope to rely on it for some positive habit building over time. I've also been reading The Slight Edge, which I've found to be a really inspirational book. I would recommend it especially to people in the community (I think it was originally a suggestion I found from Cam on one of his youtube videos). Feeling very productive, and the wealth of other actions I've found to fill up my day have really helped me in not really thinking about gaming. I'm conscious that it's literally day 9 for me, and I'm definitely still in the 'honeymoon phase' of the quitting (I've been here many times), but things are going well generally. Some great progress and stories on the forum today, really proud to see you guys progressing the way you are, despite some hard times! Liam
  3. Day 8*) Today I got up at 7am and went for a walk, listening to the Game Quitters podcast. I'm happy with my current morning routine, though it is still quite a lot of effort to get up and out so early. Once I'm out, though, it feels great. Work was busy so I spent the rest of the day coding, without much downtime. To be honest, I felt quite bored all day, and without video games to fall back on I got a bit cranky. Trying to put effort into not getting so annoyed by interruption/disruption to my routines (though this has always been a struggle for me!) I started reading a book called 'The Slight Edge' a week or so ago, and I'd really recommend it. Reading daily is something I never felt I had time for before (except when I really get into some fiction, i.e. Malazan/Rothfuss/Riftwar Saga). I also started listening to 'My Dad Wrote a Porno' podcast a couple of days ago. I know its super popular, but I didn't realise how much I'd enjoy it 🙂 Also highly recommended, if you like a laugh You guys are all my heroes, so keep up your amazing levels of commitment and effort - I love to read about your progress
  4. Thanks - I couldn't agree more. I've even started doing it when I'm not feeling productive at work, I'll just get up and wander for 10-15 minutes to sort of 'reset'. Seems to work for me. Aha - my stomach was ok however I do have a huge phobia medical things, blood, needles, etc so I'm terrified I'll pass out at the birth or something. My wife constantly teases me about it! She is also convinced that he might come early, so I'm spending my weekend painting his room 😄 Great to hear from someone with experience, its a huge life milestone and its hard to really understand what to expect - I guess you just have to live it!
  5. Day 6) Feeling a strong urge to play an MMO this morning, something that I can escape into and experience calm and comfort. I've notices that when I go for a morning walk for 30 mins in the forest, this urge goes away and I have time to relax and refocus. I've also been listening to the GameQuitters podcast, starting from way back in 2017 - this means I have two years worth of it to listen to which is really exciting. I've found it to be really relaxing as I listen to it on my morning walk. Not only do I learn a lot, and gain a lot of advice, but it is calming and refocuses me. Work was stressful and busy, and then I went straight to a "Bump, Birth and Beyond" class with my wife - this was really informative regarding topics such as safe sleeping, breast feeding, attention and child brain development, and I feel just that slight bit more prepared for fatherhood. After coming come I immediately cooked, watched some TV with my wife then slept, so I didn't really get chance to post a journal update on the evening. Been feeling a bit anxious and stressed so couldn't sleep too well, and I'm wondering if this is a symptom of withdrawal. Time will tell! Day 7) My first full week of intentionally quitting gaming is here - I'm really pleased with the effort I've made as there have been many occasions where I wanted to play for escapism/relaxation, but managed to stay focused and was happier as a result. Had a 45 minute walk in the morning in the forest, while listening to the podcast I mentioned yesterday. I'm learning a lot from it, and starting to feel like it might actually be possible that this is not just a 90 day thing, but in fact I could potentially quit games forever.. this is pretty exciting. I'm still heavily focused on building new habits. In yesterday's baby class that I attended with my wife, we watched a video about the strengthening on neural pathways between cells as certain actions are repeated over time. Actions that are not repeated cause the pathways to dissipate through a natural pruning process. I couldn't watch this and not apply it to my own life - I am able to strengthen the pathways in my brain related to my morning routine, journalling, my morning walk, playing a little guitar, rock climbing, programming and getting fulfilment from the people in my life. This, coupled with pruning my old habits (though they are so well established after 15 years, they may never fully dissipate!), I am hoping will gradually lead to more positive behaviour that I am content with. Thanks for reading - wishing you the best!
  6. liam

    Never again

    Welcome! I love this goal. Think of how good this will feel, and know that if you play this CANNOT happen. Every time you feel an urge to play, remember this!! 😄 I wish you all the best
  7. Thanks Ikar! I've just started doing something similar but with Notion - its super flexible and great for keeping a daily reflective journal as well as daily/weeks tasks etc. To be honest, you can do an amazing amount with it! Day 5) Today was a great day, all in all. Not only did I not feel any urge to game at all, but I was extremely productive. I wrote more code today that I have in a while, and even discussed some relevant programming patterns with colleagues (these are conversations I usually avoid). I think my work quality was also better, in that I took more time and attention when planning out some functionality etc. As I mentioned above, I recently started using Notion to keep track of my daily tasks and keep a sort of reflective journal. I'm trying to keep a stoic journal which entails writing down daily tasks, being reflective and writing down some things I'm thankful for each day. With such a powerful organisational tool to play my day, I found that I was even productive during periods where I decided to take a screen-break. For example, I washed all of the bedding in our guest room, I called up and booked a surprise spa day for my pregnant wife at a hotel she loves (it's in a couple of weeks, and I'm sure she's going to love it!), and I even spent 30 minutes digging a hole in my garden where I'm planning to move my shed in a couple of weeks. These are things I would never have done previously, given that they take time away from gaming - pretty pleased with that. I'm being mindful that "the only constant is change", and the way I'm feeling now may not last. Withdrawals may get worse, and I really want to be careful that I don't lull myself into a false state of feeling that quitting is easy - only to lose focus and relapse. Definitely something I want to remain aware of. I've really enjoyed reading some of your recent journal entries, and I'm so happy to see the progress that others have made. For those of you who are a few days or weeks ahead of me, my goal is simply to be like you - so thanks for sharing 🙂
  8. I love that book! My wife is a psychologist and specialises in autism, so she recommended it to me a couple of years ago. Really amazing read! Glad to see things are going well for you - I'm no expert but I think you're much better off reading than gaming. For a start, a good reading habit is calming, and isn't the huge dopamine injection that gaming can be. That said, I think it's wise to keep an eye on anything you feel yourself doing compulsively 🙂
  9. Sounds like a great idea, think I'll do that this evening! Thanks man
  10. Congrats JoJo, really pleased to see you're doing well at 1 week!
  11. Hey Fender - how's your weekend been buddy? I hope you're doing well!
  12. Thanks to both of you! Great to be here, and I really appreciate the support I've been shown so far. Looking forward to talking to you all more as the days and weeks progress 🙂 Days 3 & 4) I've had a busy weekend! We had friends visiting us for the weekend with their 1 year old daughter, so we spent plenty of time with them going for walks, chatting, cooking etc. This meant there was not a lot of time to really thing about gaming, but also minimal time for journalling. I recently started watching videos on stoicism, which I would highly reccommend to any of you looking to generally be more productive and all round more relaxed and happier. I'm trying to apply some of the practices (check here for some insights!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQnvCI25wJg) to my daily life, including better journalling and being more protective of my time. The most significant obstacle this weekend came about an hour ago. As our friends left to travel home, my wife had to do some work for her PhD, so I had some free time. This is the first time I've had some truly free weekend time since I decided to quit gaming, so my thoughts drifted immediately to the alluringly sweet dopamine rush of pwning some noobs at my PC. It actually took me a split second to remember that I was not gaming any more - such is the 'clouded mind' that this addiction often produces. I felt a little 'empty' when I realised I couldn't allow myself to play a game, and had some feelings of anger and frustration inside. I tried to remind myself why I am dealing with this, and the consequences playing a game right now - I would be letting myself down immensely. So, instead, I resolved to write my journal entries (both here and in my notion app where I am trying to keep a daily log to help build routines). I have also decided to do... nothing. Just relax, listen to some music, write a little, maybe read a little, but nothing too demanding. I'm pleased with how I'm doing, but I feel like things may start to get tough if I get some more free time. I hope I can overcome the temptation as well I as I did today. God bless you guys reading this and facing the same difficulties - we, at least, understand one another 😄
  13. Day 2) Something I did not mention until now is the affect that gaming has had on my work. I am a work-from-home programmer. Working from home requires a lot of self discipline, and being a programmer requires a lot of time sat at my computer. I'm sure its obvious to all of you - this is a recipie for disaster when you're a gaming addict. Today I managed to be genuinely productive, and actually felt proud of the work I produced instead of some hacky, messy patch of code to fix a problem without any thought towards efficiency or extensibility. This was a huge step for me, as my mind felt generally clearer and I wasn't feeling like I was rushing my work to get back to playing another game of DOTA or HotS. I don't feel like playing games at all, though when I did 'enough' work I did feel like I should reward myself with a game... I quickly suppressed the feeling, but I want to document it here. I want to stop feeling like every time I have an hour of productivity, I can therefore justify a 6 hour gaming binge for the afternoon. This is absolutely not the person I want to be! All in all, feeling good. Picked up my guitar for the first time in a long time, but I have no plans to rush into another hobby right now. I just want to keep my mind relaxed. I hope the rest of you out there are doing well - I'm always thinking about the stories I've read here and the people behind them. I want you all to succeed just as much as I hope I can. Liam
  14. I feel exactly the same bro - a couple of times I tried to completely change my life around all at once. Too much, too fast. I burned out and went right back to the comfort of WoW. I definitely think just getting comfortable with life without gaming, and being generally comfortable with yourself, is all I want from my next 90 days. After that, who knows. We can be anything 🙂 This is some real wisdom right here - I think we have little understanding on how our words and actions (both positive and negative) affect others. Just discussing this with like-minded people sufering with the same issues feels like a breath of fresh air. I played a lot of DOTA in my time, and have dealt with a lot of the toxicity that anonymity online breeds. I keep asking myself why I go back to a game with so much negativity, that often makes me feeling angry and stressed, rather than with real people in the real world, who just don't act that way. Also just read through your journal so far and seems like you're doing great! Keep it going!
  15. Hey Christopher - that was quite a read, I resonate with a lot of the things you said. I too have sabotaged friendships, relationships, jobs and education in order to continue playing games as much as possible. I always felt it was the one things I truly couldn't live without. It's not a good situation! Reading about your social isolation, I just wanted to say that there are so many hobbies out there that enable you to meet people naturally. I'm no expert (I'm literally in the same situation as you - very start of my quitting journey!), but I do think that getting out of your comfort zone is a great way to experience more in life. Hope to see you more on here as we progress together! Liam
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