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sskieller

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  1. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 40 Just turning in to say hi again. Back from almost 3 weeks of holiday of all sorts. Good to be back without having wasted a single second gaming.
  2. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    An update on that stuff right there. I actually went out and planned stuff for myself to do. I proactively lived my life and had no trouble at all spending those 14 days. Damn if that don't feel good. I wonder when the bad times will hit.
  3. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    I REACHED 20 GOD DAMN DAYS! Spent the entire day reading through a book on communication skills. Figured out that there is an entire new world out there waiting to be discovered. I have so much to work on now that I've read a couple of these books for self-improvement. The future certainly seems bright. Tomorrow I'm going to a dance camp for 7 days. During this time I will have almost no time at the PC so there will not really be any possible chance to actually game. There can still be thoughts sure, and I will try to post whenever I get the chance. Probably not going to be every day. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): the sun the luxury of digital communication yoga class multitools my apartment the free school system books electricity beer music Today I learned: That the only way to get someone to do something is by making them want to do it That you should smile as much as possible during the day because this can affect your complete happiness throughout the day. Furthermore this shows appreciation for other people and makes you more likable. You should always be genuinely interested in other people and their stories if you want to talk with them, and especially if you want to be likable. Which leads to the next to subjects You should always strive to remember the first name of whoever you meet and use it for every meeting. Your name is the most precious voice you can hear. You should always strive to become a better listener. Don't think of points to say next, and if you do, forget them again. Don't interrupt the person talking but simply listen to their points. That you should not use the word "but" if you want something good out of a statement. Example 1: "I really like what you've done but you always use the same style." Example 2: "I really like what you've done. You always use the same style." By not using the word "but" you turn the sentence from being somewhat negative to being only positive and describing why you think what you think. Extremely helpful to know and makes such a big difference. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Practice handstand. ALMOST GOT IT. It is so hard to get yourself to lift your body over your head. Seriously... Followed morning routine Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday (apparently this did not have to be done today xd) Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 21. Third decade of days on the go! Follow morning routine Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona (did that somewhat) Making a mind map of my current direction in life (this has gotta be after the dance camp) Status of things: Days without gaming: 20 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, Mindset by Carol D. Dweck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 1 Mornings with daily Exercise: 1 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 9 Days I've won in a row: 9 (5th of July 2018) One amazing thing that happened/I did today Almost did a handstand. So close! Body/health Went to a yoga class. Damn if that ain't just the best thing in the world. Mind/soul Started the morning out with growth mindset speakings Continued my book on communication What progress did I make today? Continued reading about personal development. Feels like this is something I should never ever stop doing. What went well today: Spend the entire day reading. God I love reading. What I could have done to make my day better: Could have packed my shit. Turns out that is really easy to procrastinate on. What I will do differently tomorrow: Well, pack my stuff. Since I'll get travel tomorrow
  4. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 19 Today was a great day. Had the pleasure to spend the entire day with a friend of mine whom I love spending time with. Also did some reading on communication skills and became aware of what I am usually doing wrong. Definitely going to keep reading up on this. But more importantly, I have to inject it into my life. Start living life in a new way. "I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Anonymous Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): my friends the sun books music clean water deodorant IKEA guides. Hell no if im gonna build those furnitures without. my scooter my life my personal growth Today I learned: some of my crush's other friends That you should always appreciate someone. Give honest and sincere appreciation a little bit everywhere you go. That you should not criticize, condemn or complain. Don't condemn, but figure out why people do what they do. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Printed some stuff Wrote about salary Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday (this has to be done tomorrow) Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 20 soon! Clean the fridge Pack for holiday Follow morning routine Practice handstand Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona Making a mind map of my current direction in life Status of things: Days without gaming: 19 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, Mindset by Carol D. Dweck) Mornings with daily Gratitude:0 Mornings with daily Exercise:0 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 8 Days I've won in a row: 8 One amazing thing that happened/I did today I helped my friend build an IKEA furniture which made me able to be with her for the entire day, which was very nice. Body/health My body was resting today Mind/soul Started on a new book about communication. Feels like this could and should make its way into my communication skill book. Prepared for a growth mindset morning by making lists for keeping with the mottoes of the growth mindset. What progress did I make today? Continued reading about personal development. Feels like this is something I should never ever stop doing. What went well today: Spent my entire day with my friend. I love spending time with her. What I could have done to make my day better: I don't really know. Was a great day. What I will do differently tomorrow: Start out with my morning routine.
  5. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 17 + 18 Yesterday was a great day. Met with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in quite some time. We did a bit of programming, but mostly catching up on each others lives, saw some movies together and ate a gigantic pizza. Felt great to finally meet up again. Kinda missed that guy. Today was the first day in a really long time where I didn't have anything specifically planned for the day. Turns out that my yoga class in the morning made sure I got up and had a great start on the day. Also did some headstands in the gym which went great and trained some core. Will try to do some more yoga classes while I still have holiday. Furthermore there was a meetup with some people I'm doing acroyoga with. Had a great time as well. Really grateful for that community - especially during these days where I don't really have anything specific to bolster my schedule. Also I read the mindset book by Carol Dweck. Really confirmed my assumptions that I have been stuck in the fixed mindset my entire life. I am trying to seriously figure out how to switch away from this mindset. This should be my goal above anything else as it really prohibits my further learning and growth. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): my family my room the growth mindset my friends my life yoga class good sleep gamequitter forum beer my laptop Today I learned: Some more acroyoga poses that I have been battling with an extremely fixed mindset for most of my life and that I need to seriously work on changing this to procure learning and growth rather than beating myself down To do a headstand against a wall Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Bought a battery Wrote to the wrong person about salary. Doh! Still thought it was the right one. So I did technically do the task. But I have to do again. Genius. Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday Wrote about salary Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 19 soon. Clean the fridge Pack for holiday Write about salary Meet with friend Print mindset papers Print holiday papers Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona Making a mind map of my current direction in life Status of things: Days without gaming: 18 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mindset) Mornings with daily Gratitude:1 Mornings with daily Exercise:4 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 7 Days I've won in a row: 7 One amazing thing that happened/I did today Actually reached my foot in a pose I did in a yoga class. Never been able to reach that before. Also did a headstand ? Body/health Exercises was great. Dinner was even greater. Home cooked.. Mind/soul Read the rest of Mindset. Made me get a clearer goal of my priorities right now What progress did I make today? Started gratification again. Finished mindset and made a plan for continuing to develop my mindset What went well today: Met up with some dudes and did more acroyoga. Was great What I could have done to make my day better: Like, maybe actually do the goals set for the day. What I will do differently tomorrow: Do the goals I set for the day
  6. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 16 Its gonna be a short one today I spent the time with some friends, met with my crush yet again. Seems to be stumbling into her at all times. Was still fine. Had a real shitty night, couldn't sleep, got up anyway this morning, this my gratification and exercise, ended up a pretty decent day. I'd say I won the day. Also just discovered that frozen grapes are the most weird thing in the world. Like why are they not frozen all the way through. Why are they still soft after 24 hours in the freezer. I do not understand. Status of things: Days without gaming: 16 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 2 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 2 Mornings with daily Exercise: 2 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 4 Days I've won in a row: 4
  7. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 15 again I didn't cook today anyway. Turns out I got home half past 10 in the evening, so no time to really cook. That's gotta be tomorrow. Did however have a really lovely afternoon/evening where I introduced some of my other friends to acroyoga. Furthermore we laid some plans for how we're planning to move all the stuff for one of my friends, since we have to transfer it over bridges and get a trailer back and forth and so on. Not the easiest logistics puzzle I've solved but it should work, no problem. Again I am really happy I asked my crush out even though I got a rejection. It just feels so free. Still have a crush on her. The mind is free however. Days I've won: 4 Days I've won in a row: 4
  8. sskieller

    The Grind (60 days on Discipline)

    I just realized we stopped gaming in the same weekend. Lets keep it going! :D It seems like you are really working on what to spend your life and and maybe doing some much needed reflection on your life. Definitely going to follow this journal :)
  9. sskieller

    Pelu's logbook: The journey to recovery

    Welcome to the forum Peluconus. I'm glad you've ended up here with us. :) Take your time writing that block of context. I feel like it would be good for you to write it into words and maybe reflect over it. Also I would love to read it. I find it exciting to read other peoples stories. Reading other peoples stories makes you realize that you are not alone and that there is a way out. The context makes the understanding that much better. Go for it ;) I have found a daily journal to be hard to stick with when I write it out on paper. On this forum however, I feel some kind of obligation to myself and others to actually keep it up to date. I think you will have a good experience with it too.
  10. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 13, 14 and 15 So I've finally reached over 2 weeks without gaming. It is probably the farthest I have gone for the last 2 years. I am really quite proud of myself. Friday I held a public event which turned out to be really great. That definitely gave me confidence to do something of the same again - probably a good thing considering I have joined several committees for my swing dancing. So it really is my job. It was still a great feeling. Friday I also talked with a pair from swing dancing who talked me into just asking my crush out. And I did it after the event was done. Sadly, she is already seeing someone else so I got a no. The rejection however was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. So here I really just learned a lesson about not stretching out the task and just get it done. ACTION! Yesterday, Saturday, I felt a little bit down over it, but today I feel so free. I no longer have thoughts of how it could turn out. I just experienced how it DID turn out. I really really appreciate what the pair told me about just doing it. I did however have an event to attend so I didn't really have that much time to think about it which I think was superb planning from my side. Turned out to be a really great event and probably ended up starting some relationship with a couple of nice people, friendship I don't know. Yesterday I didn't sleep well so I had much trouble getting up from bed and did neither gratification or exercise. Today, day 15, I did however wake with tons of energy and well-slept. I brought a friend of mine to a yoga class. He was grateful afterwards and was glad that I took him with me as it was far outside his comfort zone. I am just happy to have brought him. I'm sure we'll go again some time. At the yoga class I also met my crush. And much to my surprise there was no awkward atmosphere between us. If anything, the atmosphere was just more relaxed since I had told her what I have been thinking for the last 3 months. Definitely a great experience that rejection does as a matter of fact NOT kill you. If anything, it probably just makes you stronger. Also today I wrote an email to my mom and dad celebrating my 2 weeks, and I was happy I could actually do that since I have told them the truth. No hiding the truth and not telling them the status. That felt so great. Today I also did the gratification, did my exercise, cleaned the dishes, folded my clothes and tonight I'll make proper dinner. Almost looking forward to it, maybe for the first time in my life. I usually HATE to cook, like extremely much so. It's probably also a mindset. A mindset that needs change. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): the sun my bed my friends acroyoga swingdance yoga my apartment the blue sky books i'm alive alarm clocks my phone my mattress the bees the school payout system Today I learned: That there is no reason to keep holding back and thinking about the results to avoid rejection. Take some action, swallow the rejection or acceptance, acknowledge the feeling and move on. That's the only way. The goal is not to succeed, but to try. There is nothing dangerous about hosting a public event. That I have had the fixed mindset most of my life and I still have it. Definitely going to try to get rid of it. If you want to get out of awkward silence when talking with someone. One thing to do is to just think back about the most interesting thing you did this day, week, month and just start talking from that. There is no reason to actually make a point or end the story - it is just a way to get the conversation going again. Like "I went and did acroyoga yesterday. I have always wondered why people did it but actually trying it yesterday made me understand that there is extremely many skills involved from communication to balance to giving bodily signs." With this intro, there is suddenly acroyoga, skills, communication, balance, signs, trying new things as new subjects to talk about. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Folded my clothes Washed the dishes Went to yoga with my friend Goals I didn't complete today: Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 16 soon. Do the daily exercise Do the gratitude session in the morning Clean the fridge Meet with my friend Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Completing all exercises in Respawn (DONE) Status of things: Days without gaming: 15 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 2 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) Mornings with daily Gratitude:1 Mornings with daily Exercise:1 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 3 Days I've won in a row: 3 One amazing thing that happened/I did today Took a friend with me to acroyoga and introduced him to that. Was great to see him experience it and expand his comfort zone. Glad to help him. Body/health The exercises really give the body a great start on the day. Just activating it all makes it great. Mind/soul It freed my mind so so much that I just went ahead and asked my crush out. I feel so free all of a sudden. What progress did I make today? I started my morning exercise, gratification again What went well today: Meeting up with friends Seeing my crush after I have asked her out, and not feel awkward about it What I could have done to make my day better: Gee, I am not sure. Maybe wake up a bit earlier but I think I needed the sleep. What I will do differently tomorrow: Get up earlier
  11. sskieller

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    Just because she treated you wrong and she maybe wasn't healthy for you in the long run, you probably still loved her which was why you were with her in the first place. You have lost a loved one, one you probably cherished for a long time. It is going to hurt, a little less each day, but still hurt. Don't beat yourself down too much on whether you still feel hurt just because she hurt you. Just keep yourself to your tasks, make sure you have other plans when you seem to have large blocks of free time and then the pain will slowly go away. Before you would probably have coped by playing games all day. Lets think about what this activity does. It helps you escape from reality. You don't really solve the problems, the feelings that you have. This time you should maybe try to feel them, acknowledge them, accept them and then try to move on. And then make sure to have plenty of plans that you can stick to in your calendar, such that you do not have a ton of time to think back or have cravings during extreme emotional phases. Just follow the plans, acknowledge/accept/let go, and then I am sure you will reach for better days before long.
  12. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 12 Today started out really fucking bad. I was extremely tired when I woke up and I just wanted to go back under the sheets and stay there the entire day. No shits given. I did NOT want to do any exercise or gratitude or anything at all. After 20 minutes of snoozing I did however get my "DO SOMETHING" thinking started and I forced myself to just do something. One step at the time. Just get up. Nothing more than that. Just get up from the bed. When I got up from the bed, I went to the toilet to equip lenses, brushed my teeth. Already a little more energy was in my body than when I was laying in bed. Then there was the daily exercise which I did not want to do if my life depended on it. Instead of listening to my immediate wants and needs I just did a little bit at first. Just a tiny baby step. Just do something. And then I did 20 minutes of exercise. And it was great. Really great. Then I went and did a bunch of shit that I would have normally put off but did anyway, seeing as I was already in the DO-SOMETHING state and simply just acted. And after I got back home I realized that just getting out of the house has an enormous responsibility for my sanity for the day. It's like a meditation session to just get out and get some fresh air. This could probably be achieved through a walk too - gotta remember this. I was however pretty tired and took a nap today. I didn't plan for this but I was just really tired. Gotta try to fix something about my sleep schedule. A good thing however was that I met with a recently required friend of mine and we had a great and deep conversation about thoughts and mindsets and all sorts of things that I normally don't talk with people about. Turns out we are really similar some if not most of these points. Definitely not the last time I am going to meet with this guy and talk through life. Afterwards there was a dancing event that I went to and that was quite fun. There was another girl from my normal dance-club that I danced with for a solid 1.5 hour. Really great. So I ended up winning the day anyway even though the start of the day was a pile of stinking garbage. This could be tracked too. Also I finished the rest of Respawn. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): Good friends Free dancing events My dance shoes Exercise in the morning of all things Exercise apps My windbreakers on the balcony Warm clothing but also cold clothing Sunglasses 8) My bed Today I learned: That there really isn't any bad outcome of asking someone out. If it's a yes, then it's great. If it's a no then I'll get over it. That my friend I was talking with today was extremely similar to me in a lot of ways That good-quality sunglasses are expensive as **** Some lindyhop steps. Was pretty good I guess. I'm gonna stick to my known dance for now. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Went to the SU office and fixed my income Completed Respawn Goals I didn't complete today: Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 13 soon. It's the day of bad luck! Not that I believe in that. Do the daily exercise Do the gratitude session in the morning Write all the Respawn exercises into the journal Fold my washed clothes. Just do it for gods sake. Host a public dance-event on the harbor. Will talk in front of a bunch of people. Doesn't matter what people think of me, only that I do it! Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Completing all exercises in Respawn (DONE) Status of things: Days without gaming: 12 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 2 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 0 Mornings with daily Exercise:1 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 1 Days I've won in a row: 1
  13. sskieller

    Journal

    Have you bought the Respawn course and tried that? I feel like you could benefit from reading that and committing to it. Other than that I hope you will figure it out. Good luck
  14. sskieller

    Let’s GO

    I don't know you or the complete story but from my experiences I think I can say a few words. I too have thought many times about just semi-quitting games and allowing myself to just play a little bit now and then. The problem with this approach is that whatever your brain and mind gets from gaming, whether it's for pleasure, escape or something else, you probably get it from all types of games. I sure did. This means that you can never really distance yourself from the games. There will always be a cliffhanger, something to pull you right back into the games. When you have good days, it may seem easy to stay off the games. But when the shitty days hits you need barriers to stay away from the games, make it harder to get back. At least for me there is only one way to go. No games at all or all the games in the world. A motto from Gamblers Anonymous that i like which describes this situation: "One game is too much and a 1000 is never enough". If you are a category 4 (see this link https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/31jj81/addicted_or_just_misunderstanding_addiction/cq25wa4/) like me, every time you game you put some more tinder on the fire and the cravings will continue that much longer. The only way for me to completely distinguish the flame is by not adding more tinder at all. No small branches (just a few hours), no little sticks (I'll just play this app), no huge logs (I'll just play this for a few weeks, then stop). Every time the flame has more to burn. I would suggest that you and your boyfriend experiences with the 90-day detox with complete cold turkey. This means no apps, pokemon-go is a game too, no wii, no steam. Maybe install the K9 Web-Protection and give someone else the password. Try it, experience the days without gaming, don't escape from the problems and actually work on them. And then after the 90 days have passed, you have a great knowledge on whether or not gaming is actually a good thing in your life, Pokemon-Go included. I know for a fact that Pokemon-Go would be no different for me, than playing WoW. It's just another medium wrapped around the same brain-stimulating package. Whatever you and your boyfriend chooses, I wish you good luck :)
  15. sskieller

    Skieller's Journal

    Day 11 Today I went to yoga class and had a great instructor. had a great time and was well-slept. Furthermore I went to the new job and made a good impression. Also bought a windbreaker for the balcony. Something I've wanted to do forever. Just did it. Action! Then I went to a dance-party in another town for the evening and just got back a little before 23:00. It feels so great to spend the days and evenings on something else than just staring into the computer screen mindlessly browsing stuff. I am making sure to read books every time I have some room for it. These books that I read and study makes it feel like there is so many possibilities, and, albeit small steps at a time, I grow from this new knowledge. I'm feeling alive and the future is bright! Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): That I can read That I have met so many great people through dancing that I can meet with A pretty well-functional public transport system Books! :D Respawn Clean water. Holy damn I don't know what I would do without Spotify This forum, gives a great self-help Today I learned: Some details about a girl in another dance-club. Nothing special but it meant communication! That trust is built from saying the truth rather than going for the easy road. This should be logical but I didn't realize this was the case. More likely the other way around. That if there is no reason to do anything, then there is also no reason not to do anything. Instead of hiding behind fear or embarrassment or shame since it's literally nothing anyway. In the great story of earth one fear, embarrassment, shame experience means nothing. Avoid what is painful and uncomfortable is essentially avoiding living altogether. That having a good set of values is everything Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Went to yoga, well-slept. Had a great instructor today and a great time. Definitely going to search for more classes with her. I met my new team at the new job. I'm confident I made a great impression and now I just look forward to get started on august 6th. I completed some more of the Respawn course but I didn't finish because I had an idea to get a windbreaker on the balcony. I have wanted this for quite some time but have been putting it off. Today I just f*cking went and did it. I went and bought it and put it up. No hesitations. Just pure action. Felt great! Goals I didn't complete today: I didn't complete the entire Respawn course Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 11 soon. It's the start of another "decade" of days! Go to the SU office and get some more money Complete the Respawn course and fill the remaining exercises. Goals for this week: Not playing a game Completing all exercises in Respawn Status of things: Days without gaming: 11 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 2 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 0 (Starting on this when I have done the exercise again and right) Mornings with daily Exercise: 0 Daily meditations: 0
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