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Intermitent Display Of Emotions


pdallair91
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Hi,

I believe a lot of gamequitters struggle with self-love and self-respect too

Since I got addicted, my addiction has taught me to hate myself. It took years for me see that I was sick and in need of help instead of a beat down. Sure, you are asolutely right: our condition is no excuse and we should be willing to do anything to be healthy rather than playing victim

Seeking professional help and coming to group therapy are good moves and I am sure everyone here roots for you to be healthy, mind and body.

Looking forward to read from you

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On 7/13/2022 at 8:38 PM, pdallair91 said:

Day *** — Shame & Accountability

Someone got mad at me in group therapy today.  They didn't go on a rampage or anything like that.  It wasn't even in person.  However, when they said "I think your full of shit!" it was a bit shaking.  Some of the first thoughts in my mind was "Where is this coming from?  What did I do wrong?"

I'm seeing a social worker to try and help with this gaming addiction.  She helped me realise today that I was spending more time trying to understand the person that got angry than I did so for myself (the victim).  That's not to say I didn't do anything that motivated the outburst directed at me, more like the "punishment" didn't fit the "crime" if I did.  Like, if I did cross a boundary, said boundary wasn't pre-established and it wasn't impossible to discuss it calmly.  Anyways, yeah, I think this cognitive reaction (the thoughts I was having) stem from my childhood.  When my dad yelled at me, I didn't have the mindfulness to realize I deserved better.  When my best friend made an apparent suicide attempt, I didn't have the mindfulness to realize the same.  When I was ostracized by my peers for looking different (I had odd dark patches of skin because of chemotherapy)... 

Wow.  It feels good to say that.  "I deserved better"... just wow... I think I need to hear that more often.  I'll need to be careful not to overdo it, take things for granted but yeah... sometimes, I probably deserve less blame/shame in general.

Darn, every message from you is a waterfall of inspiration! Thanks for sharing this ❤️

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