Vee

I relate to a lot of that. The course I'm on has an employability module, and there's a lot of "be yourself!" alongside "Do X, Y and Z otherwise you're putting yourself at a disadvantage". I hate all the bollocks involved in getting a job, which is why I've dragged my feet over updating my CV and applying for jobs. I've been single for ten years as well, and haven't touched a dating app in seven years(?). I don't think you are penalised for authenticity in the same way there, but I can't feel authentic on a dating profile when I know I'm being selective about what I do and don't mention. That's true in real-life interactions too, but it doesn't feel so...manipulative.

Day 5-9 of no gaming Felt on edge until we got the internet on Thursday, but I feel more relaxed now, although still a little adrift. We don't have a sofa or microwave or various other furniture stuff yet, as we want to get as much as possible second-hand. I haven't looked into various activity groups yet, I'll do that next week. I've been relatively busy this week, so I haven't even thought of games much! Self management Routine - Until Friday I did at least one thing towards my ideal routine, then yesterday I stuck to my ideal morning routine, and I read before going to bed as well. I've also journaled every day this week. Having my TickTick up on one screen permanently definitely helps. Eating - I have put no effort into this... When I have eaten, it's mostly been because other people have prompted me or made food for me. From tomorrow I'm going to start using the Too Good to Go app, which will both help me get out of the house and also try a variety of food relatively cheaply. I'll also buy a rice cooker tomorrow or Monday. Leaving the house - Today has been the first day since I moved that I haven't been out! It would be nice if I had gone for a little walk, and I still might. I jogged on Friday. I also pushed myself on Wednesday to go to London to see someone I hadn't seen in years, even though I was a little sluggish. I've wandered out for other bits and pieces too. The new location is so convenient, I've never lived so centrally in a town.

Congrats, that's amazing!

Day 2-4 of no gaming Moved house! Everything went smoothly, and I'm incredibly grateful for all the help we had. I felt quite emotional at the kindness shown by loads of people, and then had an odd bout of negative feelings, which I spent a while journalling about. It's frustrating that even though I'm broadly more balanced and functional than I was in my twenties, I feel like I have more hangups from childhood than I used to. Had a busy weekend, even excluding the move, as we also had friends from the other side of the country coming over to our new town (although staying with someone else), so we met up on all three days. My energy levels were surprisingly ok, although I couldn't quite keep up with others. I have been craving games a little in the morning and at night, but it's not an overwhelming desire. My housemate told me about an LGBTQ bookclub in the new town, and a nearby town, so I'll look into those later in the week and hopefully meet some new local people there. Self management Routine - Simply hasn't been possible this weekend, BUT I woke up before 8am today alongside my housemate, and I journaled while she did yoga. I hope to keep it up, and once the flat is more sorted I'll try to form a fuller waking routine. Eating - Neither great nor terrible. I think I've missed a couple of meals over the weekend, and not eaten enough when I have had a meal, but because it's been the moving weekend, it's just been a bit too awkward to eat sometimes, and we don't have much food stocked yet. Leaving the house - It would be hard to move house without leaving the house 😄 So far I've left the house every day since I stopped gaming, but that's more been by necessity rather than choice. I was pleased I went for a little wander today to buy a couple of tools and look at furniture, when I could have just put it off until another day.

I would prefer to meet people at social things, but as a lesbian it's harder (though not impossible) to meet other gay/bi women organically. Once I've moved, I'll be closer to a town that has more LGBTQ events and groups, so I'll look into those. Day 1 of no gaming I didn't game yesterday, hoorah! I also didn't follow my goals listed above, nor did I try. My focus was on packing, and now I feel secure that I'm ready for moving tomorrow. I'm quite stressed at how little packing my housemate has done, so I'll probably help her tonight. I will leave the house today to pick up the keys, and I should manage to eat breakfast and dinner at least. I won't put much effort into forming a routine for the next few days, but come this time next week I want to align myself with that goal.

I uninstalled Steam today. I've spent the last few days pretty much just gaming and watching TV, as an obvious way of avoiding having to think about moving. I have finished all the moving-related admin, though I've barely started packing. I like to think of myself as someone who embraces change, but when it actually comes to big things like moving house or starting a new job etc, my avoidance is obvious. My problem is that I can't pinpoint any specific anxiety. Everything about moving is fine. I'll be with my best friend, walking distance from another friend, in a good flat, in a lovely town with better transport links. I have minimal furniture, so moving isn't much of a hassle, and I've moved plenty of times before, so its not an unfamiliar experience. I guess I just feel more in limbo than usual. I'm not working, but I'm doing a course that will hopefully help me start a new career. I've done some online work, but I don't know if it will be a reliable way to make money. I keep thinking about installing dating apps again, but I haven't done so yet. I want to get back into writing, but I don't know what avenue to take. There are various half-baked trips I have later in the year with friends, but none of the details have been fixed. I spent a while today reflecting on the last quarter. It's great that, due to my journaling, I can see I've made progress in the last three months. If I didn't have a record of it, I'd feel like I've just sat on my arse for three months. I saw my Nana for the first time in years, I tried indoor skydiving, I tried a dance session in London, I did various other social stuff, I engaged with my course, and I did a decent amount of jogging. I've done important boring things too - sorted out investments, went to the opticians, organised house stuff. My three goals for the next quarter (they don't fit the SMART system, but I don't care): 1. Form a routine. At minimum, I want to wake up at a similar time each day and have a basic morning routine, as well as go to bed at a sensible time and have a basic evening routine. A minimum morning would just be journal, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and take multivitamins. Evening would just be brush teeth and read. Ideally, I want to structure the rest of my day so I have work-related things in the morning (online work, working on my portfolio, or sending out job applications), a regular exercise time and lunch time, spend the afternoon on hobbies/curiosities, then the evening on socialising or relaxing. I essentially want to have time slots for areas of my life, but be somewhat flexible on what happens in each of those time slots. The main way of sticking to these is by using TickTick and journaling. Possibly I will try to wake up at the same time as my housemate so we can have a morning routine together (even if they look slightly different). This hasn't been possible before because her commute (and work obsession) means she gets up too early, but now she'll have a five-minute commute. As we'll be living near a friend who mostly works from home, I might also have more of a routine in terms of going over to his for lunch regularly. 2. Eat three meals a day Strongly related to having a routine, but still worth thinking about as a separate goal. I don't have to cook anything extravagant, I don't even need to be super healthy, I just need to make sure I eat enough, especially after I've been exercising. Ideally, I would also like to eat healthier, cook new meals, and cook food for others. I will probably have to experiment a bit with this, as eating four smaller meals a day might suit me better. I hope to stick to this by making sure I have all the essentials for meals I feel comfortable making. I could bulk buy anything that isn't perishable. Once I've moved, I'm going to buy a rice cooker and steamer. I might try to agree on a specific day each week when I cook for my housemate. 3. Leave the house daily At minimum, I want to have a five-minute walk around the block each day, just to get used to leaving the house. Ideally, I want to jog 5+ times a week, with a longer exploratory jog once a week. I'd also like to start trying park runs. There are a couple of social things I'm also interested in - aerial hoop classes nearby, and dance sessions in London. I want to at least try those, even if I don't go regularly. There's also a board game group I'd like to join. I hope to stick to this by having an exercise hour be part of my routine. Maybe a five-minute walk could be part of my morning routine. I can also walk over to my friend's house to do work-related stuff or hobby-related stuff even if we aren't socialising. Perhaps I could experiment with bringing a pencil and notepad to a cafe, although getting a drink regularly would affect my finances. For the social things, I hope to lure one of my friends to a session or two, until I feel more confident going by myself.

Amazing, congratulations! You've worked hard to change your life, and it sounds like it has paid off.

This week has plodded along. I've played about an hour a day, although I think yesterday it was more like two hours. I don't even have my previous excuse for not uninstalling That One Game. I went out for my longest ever jog on Wednesday (14K), although it ended up being maybe 50% walking. Still, even for walking, that's an impressive distance for me. Had a mini jog today as well. Otherwise...I've mostly watched TV or napped. I've struggled to engage with anything else. I read for a few minutes the other day, and I also looked over my old writing notes, but I couldn't manage either for even half an hour. I haven't done much in the way of preparing for moving either, though I'm not too concerned about that. Today I Googled an interesting class I can take when I move (aerial hoop/silks), although I'll have to wait until I finish my data course. My friend also mentioned a board game club her friend goes to in the town I'm moving to. I guess I feel in limbo as I can't start various things until I move. There is obviously still an incredible amount of things I could do to pass the time, but I'm just not interested in anything It probably hasn't helped that I've been bad with taking my supplements, so I'm probably a little malnourished. I'd really like to build up my ability to concentrate on reading again. Occasionally I can read long articles, but it's been a long time since I've been engrossed in a novel. I guess it's just a matter of trying to read a little each day.

I feel like I've built up some momentum today. I uninstalled all but one game, and I probably played that one game for about an hour in total. I walked to the supermarket (possibly for the first time this year? I've been relying on my housemates getting food), read a tiny bit, attended my course, did a tiny bit of work on my portfolio, and did a couple of hours of online work that will help alleviate my angst about the higher rent of the next place. Oh, and I brushed my teeth! I also napped for a couple of hours, which is a bit annoying as I don't think my body needed it, but since I got other things done I'm not concerned. I also ate better today than previous days. I don't count calories, but I'd guess that in the last couple of weeks there have been days where I've eaten about 500 calories, and many days where I've eaten less than 1000. Considering I've been jogging more, that's extra bad. My plan is to buy a rice cooker once I've moved, and push myself into making rice and beans. So simple for everyone else, but I have such a weird block when it comes to making food! I've told my housemate I intend to cook for her once a week. Maybe we will fix a specific day each week. My plan tomorrow: do a couple of hours of online work, go for a jog, and start to organise my room for moving. Hopefully sort out the remaining admin for the move, though that somewhat depends on my housemate. It would be nice to return to writing, but I won't push myself on it. Just putting it here as a reminder that it is a possibility.

Damn, that sucks to have back-to-back medical issues! A friend had Bell's palsy last year, and even though for her it improved after a couple of months, it's still a really scary thing to happen. Regarding the issue with "recommended videos", I recommend the Chrome extension UnDistracted. It can specifically hide recommendations, so you can still use the website, but you end up only watching videos that you were specifically seeking out. It's drastically cut down my YouTube watching time, without me having to actually block YouTube (and then inevitably sometimes unblock it because sometimes there is information I need that I can only find in video form). It can do similar things to Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, LinkedIn and Netflix. I don't know if there is an equivalent phone app, but it's worth looking into.

I have two suggestions that might help you (apologies if you are already doing these): First, make a list of hobbies that you are interested in, or that you have been interested in in the past. Ideally, ones where success can be measured (e.g. exercise), or that help you socialise (e.g. volunteering). Game Quitters itself has an interesting tool to give you ideas: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/ Did you like drawing or writing or crafting when you were younger? Are there any classes (dance, pottery, art, cookery, whatever) you and your children could go to together? If money is tight, what about exercise with your family or friends - running, yoga, cycling? You can also track your exercise progress with an app like Strava, helping mimic the sense of progress you felt in the game. Honestly, at this point it doesn't have to be respectable "productive" hobbies - even just watching TV or reading trashy books will at least help break your obsession, even if they aren't ideal. To make it a bit more engaging, you could write reviews of what you've read/watched on Goodreads or IMDB or some other site. Maybe in your journal try each day to write a paragraph specifically on some other interest, or potential interest. Even if you aren't ready to try something, you could do some research and write about why it seems interesting and what is holding you back. You could even just pick a random historical event each day that you want to learn more about. Second, stop engaging in anything relating to the game. Don't speak to your guild members through other channels (unless you now consider them a solid friend, and they agree to not speak about the game at all with you). Capybara in particular seems to be an unpleasant person. Don't watch videos or read articles about your game. Consider using a website-blocking app on your phone. When you find yourself talking about the game to your friends or family, gently redirect yourself. "I could be preparing for the challenge today with Ren, and...Well, I'm glad I've freed up some time in my life. Maybe I should look into playing the guitar - I think that could be really soothing and satisfying. Have you ever played any musical instrument?" etc. Obviously, without knowing your full situation, some of these suggestions might not be useful to you, but they are things to think about at least!

I only gamed for maybe an hour yesterday, then pushed myself to see a couple of friends, rather than decided I was too tired and staying in. I've gamed maybe an hour today, but ended up being distracted by other stuff. I haven't yet uninstalled Steam for a very silly game-related reason... Basically, if I just play my main game for a couple more days, then I will get better offline gains for however long I'm away. Which I know is defeating the point (and ideally I won't go back to it anyway) but oh god, I can't resist. I don't know if I'm misunderstanding your question, but I think destructive/unhealthy hobbies (i.e. something that is done in your spare time, rather than work) are ones that can fall into one or more of these categories: Bring out negative emotions in us at a far greater rate than positive ones, e.g. anger, frustration, misery. Negatively impacts our health or level of functioning in basic areas (eating, sleeping, hygiene) frequently Negatively impacts our relationships with others, e.g. means we see/interact with people far less frequently than we need (bearing in mind different people need different amounts of interaction), how lower quality interactions, or behave in a way that is cruel, dismissive, or otherwise repels people and disrupts/destroys our relationships Negatively impacts our responsibilities - e.g. with work, school, or childcare. Potentially also one which is an unbalancing force in our lives, i.e. 80% of our free time is spent doing that one activity. Although I'm undecided about that if it doesn't fall into other categories. Also, I think it has to have a frequent or severe negative impact for it to qualify. An example: I know a person who attempts "The DW" most years, a continuous 125 miles of kayaking that takes 20+ hours. On that specific day, I imagine negative emotions can bubble up, and people sometimes experience exhaustion, heatstroke and other health issues. But the training for it broadly enriches their lives - they get to exercise, socialise with their club, and see nature, without sacrificing responsibilities or sleep, except on that one day. I imagine there is a great sense of achievement when you complete that event, and it's something that most people would understand and be impressed by (rather than "I'm in the top 200 for this specific game" etc). It's something you could bring up in a job interview as an interesting little fact about yourself. But even with kayaking, people could take it too far and it might tick a lot of the above boxes. For me, the way I game impacts my level of functioning and how frequently I socialise, and it also makes it hard for me to do anything else, because I don't want to lose time that could be spent on gaming. But gamification of learning isn't destructive for me unless it lures me into actual gaming, or I get so focused on the gamification that I'm not truly learning anything (which is usually more of an issue with the app/platform). I would also say that there is 1% of gaming which is fine for me, namely party games like Jackbox. It's impossible to play by yourself, and I would only play it with actual friends - usually when at least some of them are in person. It acts to facilitate social situations, rather than replace them, and can lead to interesting conversations. ...That was long-winded, and I'm not sure if it was what you were looking for! 😄

Still gaming excessively, especially in the last fortnight. Was stressed this month about moving house, with various complications arising and decisions to be made, but my friend and I found a place, and yesterday got confirmation that we passed all the checks. So we're moving in two weeks! It's a great flat (my housemate has actually lived in the same flat before!) in an excellent location, although the rent is an eye-watering amount by my usual standards. With that angst out of the way, I really want to set a good tone for the new flat and imbue it with positive habits. A good sleep schedule, minimal fizzy drinks (I feel like I've drunk more fizzy drinks in the last year than the rest of my life put together...), a jogging routine (still very variable), journalling daily (fell out of the habit), more reading, more writing, and of course... Less (or zero) gaming. I think the only real way forward is zero gaming. I will always fail at moderation. If I at least try to quit games when I move house, then when I inevitably slip up, the environment will not feel like one where excessive gaming is super familiar. Some areas of my life are going well. I've gotten back into jogging (and the new place has some gorgeous jogging routes nearby). My data course is solid. I've done a bit of socialising, some of it pro-active on my part. Although I've obviously been avoiding loads of things via gaming, I generally haven't felt miserable, which makes this one of the better winters in my life.

I have four routes that I do semi-regularly, but I like to try the odd random route. While I sometimes push myself in terms of speed, my only real goal is one of exploration. I use Strava to log my runs, and there's another app called Veloviewer that connects to it and has an "explorer tiles" feature (the world is divided up into 1km squares), which encourages me to try new routes to cover the most squares. It feels like a far more compelling goal to me than speed, distance, or some specific race. Sounds like you're doing great minimising screen time! Can you pinpoint why you are mildly miserable, or is it just lots of little things/nothing in particular? Or else because it's winter? (if you're in the northern hemisphere)

Did you enjoy the chitchat when you came home, if you ignore the lost time? (Which I'm guessing is why you think you shouldn't have chitchatted?) Socialising is important, and even little bits of small talk can help contribute to general wellbeing, perhaps even more so if it's spontaneous, rather than planned.

Still been gaming excessively, but got some stuff done around it, and I've focused only on one game, at least. As it's a semi-idle game, technically that leaves me with time to do other things, but I do often micromanage it instead. Had a good call with writing friends on Thursday, although we didn't discuss writing (I haven't written in over a month!). Went to a great dance event with a friend on Friday and I'm pleased that I introduced her to something new - she's keen to go again some time. I also got some solid reading done on the train there, and I've done a tiny bit of reading at home since - only five minutes yesterday, but half an hour today, which is something. I've been a bit better with my sleeping/eating/hygiene/chores than I was earlier this month. Maybe it would be good to bite the bullet and quit gaming again...

I don't have any wise words to add to the above, but I just want to say... I hear you. That sounds like a horrible experience, made even more difficult by not having supportive people around you. I hope 2024 goes better for you.

Good to see someone else get into running as well! I've let it fall to the wayside over the last month, but I'm keen to get back into running regularly again. Do you have a certain route you mostly stick to, or do you mix it up?

Still gaming, but making that post yesterday was clearly the kick up the arse I needed to get some stuff done. Since that post I: Talked about indoor skydiving with my housemate, though I'm waiting on him to confirm what day works Went for my second jog of the year, and the first proper length one (last week did a 3K jog, today was 6K). It went surprisingly well, considering I've barely exercised in the last month - I even got some personal bests on Strava segments! Did a bunch of chores I've ignored (dishwasher, laundry, bank stuff) Arranged to visit London on Friday with two friends for an event (I initiated it!) Booked an appointment with the opticians for tomorrow (haven't been in five years) Finally ordered an electric toothbrush, which I've been meaning to do for a while but inexplicably avoided. On the gaming front, the only progress I've made is limiting myself to one game. I don't miss the other two I was playing, at least not yet. I haven't moderated my use of the one game, but by doing the above I've at least played it slightly less today. Something I recently implemented in my private journal that I really like is automatically linking to the same day in previous years. Since I only started journalling at the end of 2022, I get at most one entry at the moment. Google technically does a similar thing with the maps timeline, but that only shows where I was, not what my mental or physical state was. This time last year I hadn't jogged in years, and I wrote about how much my hip had been hurting. Nowadays it takes over an hour of walking/running until my hip starts hurting, instead of ten minutes, or it simply hurting while lying in bed. It also reminds me of little conversations I've had with friends. I've really been enjoying how journalling (especially in Obsidian!) assists my memory and shows a) how I've changed and b) the positive experiences I've had. Tomorrow's plans: since I intend to walk to and from the opticians I don't plan on running, unless I don't walk. Maybe I'll also go to the supermarket. I've completely ignored writing for about a month and don't feel up to doing any, but a friend has sent me a short story to critique, so I might do that tomorrow. I have loads of books lying around in my room that were gifted or lent to me last year, so I really want to start reading them. My rough plan going forward is to see if I can maintain this level of engagement with the world, and then uninstall Steam next week. I know it may seem silly ("The best time is now!" etc), but I feel like I need to slowly remind myself of alternatives so that I don't end up lying in bed all day. I've been reading a little yesterday and today about problem-solving vs creating, so I guess that's influenced this way of thinking.

I don't see why you would be kicked off here, unless there's something I'm missing. I don't think there is much pleasure to be gained from seeing someone do badly, at least for me. Seeing others grow is satisfying, as well as seeing people pick themselves up when they have "failed". Failure is a temporary state, it's not an inherent part of someone. Why don't you care about yourself?

To clarify, I don't think I can moderate (though I always wish I could...). It's more that if I'm putting visible restrictions on myself, e.g. using a blocker, then some part of me wants to rebel, moreso than if I merely uninstall Steam and do just try to use willpower. I'm not really sure how to describe it, to be honest. It isn't logical. ...Anyway, I've continued to game for the last month. I don't feel capable of quitting right now, because I feel too apathetic about everything. At the moment, gaming is the main thing that gets me out of bed, and while that's obviously rubbish, if I quit gaming I don't feel like I've got anything else to get up for. Sometimes even gaming hasn't been enough, and I've spent most of a day just lying in bed daydreaming. Most of my other attempts at hobbies and routines have fallen to the wayside. I've semi kept up with my journalling, I think that's the only thing. I've done quite a bit of socialising over the last month, though. I hadn't seen or spoken to my sister in 13 years (we have never been on bad terms, but our family is complicated), and in December I initiated a reunion. It was good! I have so many worries about what she would be like, but it was perfectly pleasant, and we've exchanged a couple of texts since. I also saw my Nana last weekend (again, initiated by me) who I haven't spoken to in 5 years or so. It was awkward, but she seemed to really appreciate it. Done various other bits of socialising, and I haven't chosen to game over doing social stuff, so that's something. I've also signed up for a data analyst course that begins in February. I'm not sure how useful it will be, but it will at least give me a bit of structure, and with any luck will lead to job opportunities. Right now I guess I need to pull myself out of my apathy a bit so I can recommit to not gaming. I know gaming itself contributes to my apathy, but despite the occasional socialising, I've been in such a haze the last month that if it's a choice between lying in bed all day vs gaming all day, I think the latter is a better choice. EDIT: I have three main games I've been addicted to recently. I've now logged out from the browser-based one (I don't remember my password, so there would be friction getting back into it) and deleted the non-Steam one. I've also uninstalled most of the Steam games I had installed over the last month, but I've kept the one I'm addicted to, for now. Will think about uninstalling Steam, but not committing to that today. I'm recommitting to using TickTick daily (task and habit tracker). The silly reason I haven't really used it recently is because I haven't been using my second monitor (where I used to have it up 90% of the time), so I simply forget it exists. I'm also changing various bits in it that will help remind me of alternatives to gaming and encourage me to use it more.

Hope the interview goes well! It sounds like you're doing great with not gaming and with recognising trigger points.

...Obviously I just continued gaming for weeks. It's cooled down a little in the last few days, but I've still got one idle game open, which is on Steam. I played My Time at Sandrock for 77hrs, and I enjoyed myself for many of those hours, perhaps even over 50%. But while playing it, everything else in my life was on hold. Then I switched between a few other games - I enjoyed playing one of the other games, but the rest were just mindless. Now that I'm over the "omg I haven't played games for so long, I must play ALL THE GAMES CONSTANTLY" phase, I'm thinking about going back to quitting. I mean, it's popped into my head literally every day, but this is the first day I've felt like I can face posting on this forum. I'm trying not to judge myself harshly, and trying to engage with the "radical acceptance" concept. I spent many hours playing games, that's a fact. Some of that time was enjoyable. Some of it simply passed the time, and I suppose in a way that's okay. But because I've spent many hours playing games, I have not been eating regularly, or keeping up with exercise, or journalling. Because I avoided my to-do/habit app (TickTick) I have also not been keeping up with taking supplements or brushing my teeth regularly. All these things are necessary for my short- and long-term wellbeing. I feel/felt guilty for not doing some things I felt I "should" do, e.g. write, engage with my writing group, look into courses that would help me with work. I'd prefer it if I had done those things. I didn't manage to stick to not playing games for as long as I would have liked (and thus fell into a pattern of lower functioning), so I need to experiment and try out different ways that worked for me. Things that didn't work: - The Freedom App. Probably any restriction app. I think specifically trying to limit myself made me rebel against it, and also reminded me that I was restricting myself. I didn't feel free. I would hate the idea of someone else having a pass code, so I don't think that would work. - Using gaming as a reward. Well, duh. It's too easy to see through the lie of "I can only game when I've done X" - actually I can play whenever the hell I like. If I did want to try moderation, I think I'd need to simply...choose moderation. Not try to restrict myself to only before Xam or after Ypm. - Reinstalling Steam. Well yeah, duh, but I mean even if I could moderate my behaviour (doubtful), Steam is designed to lure me into new shiny things. Or even old shiny things, e.g. when the news feature tells me a game I haven't played for years has a shiny new update. - Chastising myself when I did slip up. Shame led me to avoid actually thinking through what I was doing, and led to me playing even more. I don't know what I need in order to recommit to not playing. This post is just a way to say... I'm thinking about it. I haven't abandoned Game Quitters quite yet.

My brain just fell back into the familiar pattern of chasing the feeling of progression, and since a) I didn't use Locked Mode and b) Freedom doesn't block a tab if its already open when the blocking session starts (e.g. with a Unity WebGL game, or a single page javascript game), it was easy to ignore. The mental pathways just felt so familiar that when I started it was difficult to stop. I felt in a weird brain space where I could see the hours drift by, but all my other priorities just felt...muted. I was aware I wanted to do other things, but I didn't truly feel it. My idea above about only playing after Xpm in the evening feels foolish now. Even if I did manage to stick to it, the rest of the day I would still be thinking about gaming, and planning what to do in the game (My Time at Sandrock is my current temptation). I can spend a lot of time devoted to gaming outside of actually gaming, whether that's looking at wikis or watching videos or just writing notes about a game. Maybe the answer is to look into solo journalling games? Those could give a vibe of progression, while also being more focused on writing and slower vibes.

After 56 days I broke my streak. Badly. On Monday I thought maybe the way to wake up early was to use the Freedom software to block web browser games at all times except 5am-9am, that way maybe it would help motivate me to get up at a vaguely reasonable time. And on Monday, it worked. I woke up at 8am, played a mindless browser game, then did some writing, went for a good jog, and went to a writing discord meeting. Tuesday was a complete write-off. I woke up before 9am, then disabled the Freedom stuff so I could play stupid browser games (that I didn't even like) all day. I didn't leave the house, or eat properly (all I ate was porridge and chocolate) or do anything but game for maybe 12 hours. I resisted installing Steam, but I'm not sure I'd consider that a good thing since the games I did play were even lower quality than I'd play on Steam. Wednesday through to today were also gaming days, though I had switched to two mobile games, thinking that I wouldn't devote much time to them because I don't usually use my phone much... I went from my usual <30m a day on my phone to 7+hrs. Still, I managed to jog Thursday, Friday and Saturday, did some chores, and ate better. I had the option to socialise on Friday but I didn't, perhaps partly due to gaming (although I was also worn out from my jog that day). I uninstalled the mobile games a few hours ago. But oh God I really want to be able to game in moderation. I keep thinking about reinstalling Steam and trying to not gaming before Xpm, the time depending on how much I've gotten done... I know it's never worked before, but I guess I'm forever the optimist.