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pdallair91

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Everything posted by pdallair91

  1. Day 1 (The Sequel) — Ending "Lapse" According to my SMART Recovery Program handbook, there are 5 Stages of Change: Pre-Contemplation "Games are not addictive!" When we resist change by not taking responsibility for our addictive behavior; either passively, by not being aware of, or actively, by rejecting the problematic nature of our behavior. Contemplation "... my life is a mess... Games take up so much time... I should play less but everything else feels so difficult..." When we admit we have a problem but have "mixed
  2. Thank you @Zeno, this reply and the post you linked to sound brilliant to me. I'm certainly inspired to ponder. I'm not much of a reader but I did add Thinking in Systems, by Donella Meadows, to my wish-list. I believe I am currently experiencing the downwards drift described some of the quoted passages. for the past couple of weeks, I have been experiencing an unexpected amount of failure in the face a new challenge and succumbing to my negative bias, unnecessarily (or excessively) lowering my expectations and enabling "my system" (i.e., "my life") to deteriorate. I'm here today
  3. Day 70 - To Learn to Succeed, You Must First Learn to Fail. The latter portion of this post's header is a quote by Michael Jordan (allegedly, couldn't find the source). Jordan is well known, not only for his success but for mastery over the fear of failure. Many commercials, articles, and books were released with him encouraging people (especially the young) to accept ones imperfection, never give up, and learn from our mistakes. His humble origins, even to me — someone that has never been part of a sports team — are impressive to say the least. That said, the same mentality ca
  4. Day 48 - Pandemic, Health Issues, & Social Media Addiction I'm happy to say I've managed to maintain my version of video-game sobriety since Feb 16th. 😊 I am grateful towards myself for the mindfulness and wisdom that I've cultivated over the past couple of years. I'm grateful to my friends, family, experts, and peers — in this community and many others — for all the emotional support. 😌 That said, I'm not really satisfied with how I'm using all this free time. For those that don't know me and my situation, I'm on Long-Term Disability because of mental health issues. So, I ha
  5. Hey folks, Sorry I haven't been actively following. I have been chiming in with our Discord community every now and then throughout the month instead. I've concluded by now that "Fun & Play" and "Human Connection" are core values to me, at least for now. I it is unseasonable for me to expect "happiness" to stem from being "productive" and "independent" 24/7. So, unsurprisingly, I've "naturally" come to follow some of your recommendations before even seeing your replies. 😊 Unfortunately, I had a little bit of a slip and became a mildly dependent on social media (Reddit, Yo
  6. You know what? As plain and simple as it is, I think I've already experienced this and it works. When I go shopping for groceries, I joke around a little bit with the staff sometimes and it feels great.
  7. Day 16 - *Nod* My assumption that I would find it easier in time feels although it is slowly coming true. I still haven't managed to stick to a schedule but at least I get somethings done. The bordom, distress, and frustration I feel (which lead to cravings) are getting more manageable, or maybe I'm just getting better at managing them; probably both. I feel I'm slowly converting my pessimistic self-fulfilling beliefs into more into more optimistic ones. As I hand out more compassion and kindness towards myself and others, some of these assumptions end up being or becoming true; r
  8. I feel you my friend. It's day 7 for me and everything feels like "work". Part of this is probably anhedonia where, after having relied on artificial stimulation for so long; the brain needs time to get the "natural" dopamine gears going. Another part of this, personally, is probably all the negative feelings I've been avoiding through video games now free to wreak havoc; the mind needs time to learn how to identify and cope with pain and distress "properly" now. I've been through a lot of therapy already so I have an advantage, I know my outlook can be inaccurate and feelings can chan
  9. Day 6 - Distress Tolerance and Tibetan Buddhism The module that I am going through with my Dialectical Behavior Therapy group, recently, is centered around Distress Tolerance Skills. During our last session we went over the Radical Acceptance skill and that's when I realized that I hadn't fully accepted my addiction to video-games. Sure, I admitted I was addicted and tried to moderate my usage. Regardless of the countless failed attempts however, I had been neglecting for a lto to take that final step and resort to abstinence. It's a painful realization because so much of my memories
  10. Day 5 - Meh God damn, the cravings are strong right about now. I haven't been taking good care of myself today and now I feel like shit. I feel drowsy and gloomy. I don't wana feel drowsy and gloomy. I wana feel good, REAL GOOD. Give me that stimulation baby! Yeaaaaeeeuuuuh! ... *sigh* Are things always going to feel this benign? No. Probably not. There will be moments like this, when my desires/expectation far exceed what I can handle. However, they too shall pass. Seriously. It's hard to believe but for all I know, I might feel great tomorrow. I didn't sleep well last night.
  11. I'm not gonna post everyday. I'm not gonna follow a specific format. I'm just going to come here when I have something to say in the hopes that someone will read it but not expecting anybody to.
  12. I agree with what Cam has to say about Chess, it probably is riskier for many of us, especially at the start of our recovery/detox, because well... it's a game. However, I must point out that working out also shouldn't be seen as holy "won't get addicted to this" this behavior either. I've known some people who harmed themselves or caused harm for their loved ones to "reach that rep quota"; we can get addicted to that dopamine and endorphins you get with workouts. I'm not an expert but I think addiction is that behavior that we just can't seem to stay away from or stop once your engaged
  13. What's up you amazing ding dongs!? So, correct me if I'm wrong but is it not a common human need to "play" with other people every now and then. I mean, is it not reasonable to have fun with other people every now and then? Personally, I think I need one evening or afternoon dedicated to this at least once a week in order to be happy. As you've probably noticed, this has become more and more difficult because of the global Before quitting, video-games were a medium that enabled me to sort of circumvent these constraints; they didn't consistently feel as good as having people over
  14. Hey community, First of all, I feel like I shouldn't take your time and attention for granted so... how are you? 🙂 My name is Patrick, though I have differing user names such as pdallair (or pdallair91), BuzyD (or buzy_d, or buzy-d), and TooManyNoodles (or 2ManyNoodleZ). Pronouns: He/Him. After trying and failing time and time again to moderate my "consumption" (EAT ALL THE FRAMES), I decided on Feb 12th 2021 to indefinitely abstain from most* video games. I have uninstalled all of my PC games and put my consoles in storage. Trigger Warning: Serious mental health issues