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My journey for a new life


Jason70
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Day 10 

(Day 7 of phone detox)

 

No games, no phone, no game related content. Still fighting to move with that "work hard/first, play later" mentality, but I will get there, I will get there. Excuses don't get you anywhere

Best 

Jason

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Day 11 

(Day 8 of phone detox)

No games, no phone, making progress.

Best 

Jason

 

P.S. Journals will become longer and will reply to journals tomorrow. Just been super tired. Sleep hasn't been bad, just exhausted from work.

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I just restarted my journey and it is encouraging to read your journal.  I loved seeing the photos outside.  Thank you for inspiring me to get outside and keep a clear mind!

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@notKosmic Thank you. I am glad my stories are helping!

Day 12

(Day 9 of phone detox)

Today I didn't play games or use my phone or watch gaming content. However, I did watch a lot of youtube. Still struggling with that mindset, but it will come to me eventually.

To help me with it, I have decided against watching anymore youtube (unless required for college work) and listening to anymore music. While music wasn't bad a few months ago, its bad now. It really is destroying my productivity, and although I may love and be obsessed with some artists right now, I find it will be better and more fulfilling to me to work towards meeting them then just sit back, listen to their music and pretend to meet them. So yeah, those hopefully will help. For podcasts, which I have been intrigued by I am just going to use apple podcasts on my mac laptop, while doing other things. So bye bye spotify.

One more thing here. In the latter half of the day I realized something about motivation. So far, I have just been watching motivational videos to help spark some. While those can help, the motivation is short - term, the REAL motivation you must get within yourself, that's long-term. I must want what I aspire to do, I must be hungry. So, since I want to travel, be an author, and overall just be a good role model for people, I need to start work now and keep it going. So for writing, I am going to start reading A LOT more. 

So conclusion for the day, the second half was much better than the first because of realizations. Tonight I am going to start writing to-do lists again and not worry about whether I finished my sleeping dream or not because those are not real, and they trick me into continuing them because of the serotonin they give me! Time to start waking up early again!

I am going to work my ass off now to finish some college projects. Hope you all have a good rest of your day

Best 

Jason

 

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Day 13 

(Day 10 of phone detox)

Today was an accomplishment in terms of college work but terrible in terms of other things. The only thing I had time for besides work was working out. I am disappointed in myself, even though I finished a book, (called Dear America, it's really interesting it's a memoir on the life of being an undocumented immigrant in the United States and what you have to do in order to not be deported), and cooked my lunch. Just I wanted to get so many more things done today. Ah, just shows I need to start waking up earlier, and be more efficient when it comes to my breaks. In terms of internet, I scrolled through twitter and instagram a bit, but not the whole day which was a big improvement. I wanted to listen to music so bad, but I didn't I survived, and I didn't have urges for youtube either. 

Tomorrow I will wake up when my alarm actually goes off, the good thing is that its raining more and sun's coming up earlier which means my favorite season is around the corner. I mean each season has it's beauties, but something about spring. The warm air, the grass, the hiking trails, rain, animals, everything just, I'm excited. And the sun coming up earlier means that i might be able to wake up earlier. As we know the sun is a natural waking up machine. 

Nutrition went well today, I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then an egg with cheese on an english muffin for lunch. I didn't make myself dinner because I ate lunch late. But that's okay I guess. I failed to drink 2 bottles of water. I need to be more accountable of myself for this. 

Anyway, despite today being meh, I am grateful for; pens, pencils, markers, books, scissors, eggs, God, journaling, family and gluesticks.

Hope you all have a good rest of your day

Best 

Jason

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It can be rough when we plan out too many things for the day. I tend to make the same mistake too, sometimes its possible if everything goes perfectly but if something goes wrong then it feels like the whole day falls apart and that is devastating. What helps me sometime is not to focus on getting everything perfectly but on smaller achievements and their overall accumulation over time. However, as I am saying that I still run into the same issue so I know that it is not that easy. I am a huge fan of the earlier sunrise too. It makes waking up so much easier. I struggled with it so badly during winter but it is getting better. Keep up the good work!  Good luck on the phone detox too. 

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Day 14 

(Day 11 of phone detox)

Didn't play or even think of games. However, in the first half of the day I was a bit upset because I didn't know what I wanted to do in my life. To solve this though I looked up a simple list of things I wanted to achieve. I think this was a problem in my first 13 days of my detox. Some of these goals include, getting a pet, learning Chinese, learning to play the guitar, reading and kung fu. Looking forward to them. The only reason I turned on my phone today was to submit an assignment, so I don't really count it as relapsing. Still getting to bed later, I think I need to set a time when I go to bed and a set time when I wake up. Of course I don't have to wake up as soon as my alarm goes off but shortly around then. Sleeping is important, and I have read that if we don't get enough sleep some very deadly diseases can occur (I heard some form of cancer could happen, and I do not want that)! Still didn't drink enough water.

While all these things happened, I have to realize that nothing happens if I don't do them. So I am ready to start making conscious decisions. 

@Realworlderthanks for the advice, my perfectionism still lurks, I guess, but hey its getting better! I think for tomorrow I am just going to write down the important things, like hobbies because the basic stuff like (brushing teeth, making bed) are usually a breeze for me!

 

Best 

Jason

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Day 15 

(Day 0 of phone detox) 

Relapsed to my phone. Overall it was a bad day today. However, I am making changes. My mood was awful today because my mindset was, "I have no motivation, why do things." What I realized later though was that part of my little motivation was because I was spending a lot of time in my room! My room was even my virtual school setting. This is unhealthy, one because I would spend a lot of time in my room anyways because of gaming, two it cuts of from social connection, and three, with all these screens your mental health is just overall worse in your room. So today I made a change of moving my virtual college setting to my living room. I put a lava lamp there, as those are calming, I have a snow globe, also calming and I have a big window in front of me, so I can always look outside. Plus, this will actually force me to get out of bed in the morning! 

Although i relapsed to my phone, I realized things. Mental health has just been down completely this year. I saw a study done where they reported a lot of people who live in the U.S. are more depressed than they ever been. I realized that phones and social media add to that. In today's world there is just so much negativity, and a lot of that stems from media, and phone usage. For me personally, when i was on my phone today, I lost a lot of energy, I am now tired, upset and cranky. This also showed me phones give a lot of the same symptoms you get from games. With knowing this I am going to fully commit to my 65 day phone detox. Also went outside for like 5 seconds today and that felt way better than using my phone. I already felt more present. I will also not use youtube, as mentioned before with social media, which I also relapsed to today.

Finally, I will not write down so many things on my to-do list as not finishing it, makes me upset and a lot of times I don't finish it. I will just simply write down the hobbies I want to do before/after school. I believe these changes will make me happier, more focused, and more present than i was before!

I hope you have a good day!

Best 

Jason

P.N. I didn't relapse to games though 😄

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Day 16 

No games, no phone. However, today was again more work, but instead of feeling depressed while doing it I felt great, and eager to learn! I guess that means my new set up works well! To help me get out of bed in the morning I am going to implement the 5 second rule. Just count up to 5 and once I get to 5 i get out of bed. I used this during my first detox and it helped tremendously. I went outside and worked out today, and it was nice! Also I got a lot of college work done today so it was a plus! Hoping for a good day tomorrow

Best 

Jason

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Day 17 

No games, didn't think of them at all! Making progress! Today I realized that my choices can either hinder or boost my energy levels, so since today was youtube mostly, the aftermath was low energy and a headache. Not making much progress, but I will take it one day at a time! Slowly but surely.

Best 

Jason

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YouTube always troubled me too. One tactic I developed was a priority list. Although I collapsed due to me overdosing on dopamine over my birthday excitement, I'm listing my priorities again today on my phone.

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@hemonkeyThanks for the advice! Yeah i have been doing to do lists and those seem to help. I will try putting them in order of the most importance 

 

Day 18

Today was a great day. While I didn't get everything done off my to do list, I woke up early and sent off a project to a professor, then I attended virtual classes and worked on some homework. Later I went on a walk and I meditated! I had a bit of stress over a test i think i failed. I studied for it but some of the stuff the professor didn't give any resources for learning it or went over it. However, i reminded myself it's one quiz and it will only lower my grade a bit (i have a 92 in that class anyway). Anyways the negatives of today didn't outweigh the positives. 
 

one good thing I noticed is I am becoming more sociable with my family. So that's great. Honestly at this point i am rambling so I will head to bed. Hope you have a good day 

Best 

Jason

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That's good you're getting along better with your family. I just memorized a line that goes 'My son keep the commandment of your father and forsake not the law of thy mother.'

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@TheNewMe2.0That line is interesting, makes me think! Speaking of family, i am going to call my mother tomorrow to try and have a closer relationship with her since with games we fell apart.

Day 19

No games. Today I was able to meet with my uncle to celebrate his birthday, he was happy I went even with covid. We had lunch together and had some cake. This took up most of my day, which means I was unable to get some hobbies done. However, i was able to exercise. After I got home I watched the movie Soul, and I cried. If you haven't seen it yet, I won't spoil the plot for you, but it's an amazing and thought provoking movie that inspired me to start appreciating life more. 
 

Tomorrow's a new day, let's make it count! 
 

Best 

Jason 

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Hey that's great. I've grown closer to my mom since quitting games. Maybe it'll happen for you too. Mm cake. I heard Soul was good and philosophical.

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Day 20

No games. However, today wasn't productive. I was able to call my mom though. I originally was afraid she wasn't going to pick up, as when she left us (me, my brothers and my dad) the last thing she told me was a comparison between my brothers and I of how they could easily game in moderation, and that I was nothing. During our conversation though, I mentioned how I was 20 days free of gaming so far and how much I have already learned about life, and what I want to pursue. She told me that she is proud of my decision and that she still did love me even though we were distant. It was nice to hear, especially after the beginning of our talk where she was yelling at me on why I was calling her. Lol. We are still far from re-strengthening our relationship but I have hope. 

Yeah today consisted of nothing, but in one of the videos I watched it showed me something. It was something I already should have known but I am glad I learned it. It was a Pentatonix video showcasing that when they toured (this was back in 2015), they used any fair amount of time they had in between shows to work on a new album. During the clip it showed one of the members, falling asleep while arranging. This made me realize that, it doesn't matter if you're tired, if you have something you want or need to get done, you should spend time getting that done. While of course when you're done trying to get as much sleep as you can. So I think I need to start setting deadlines for myself on things I want to do, and a punishment if I don't get it done on time. I don't believe I should harshly punish myself as that might cause me to be hard on myself, but some consequence, so like no sugar. 

No more excuses Jason, you have to work to get things.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day

Best 

Jason

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12 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Hey that's great. I've grown closer to my mom since quitting games. Maybe it'll happen for you too. Mm cake. I heard Soul was good and philosophical.

I'm glad you have grown closer to your mom. Since our phone call today I have hope our relationship will be repaired. Soul was a great movie, I recommend it. 

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Day 21

No games. Still went on youtube for most of the day. I think I might try setting a time for when to use youtube so I am not using it during the times I need to do something else. Despite this, I am feeling excited! Not sure why. Maybe it's because today I felt attentive during classes and I'm excited for what I'll be doing tomorrow/ in the future? I am not sure. Just feeling really joyous.

Did my exercise and worked on my cursive handwriting (something I learned I wanted to do), still need to start Chinese, but planning on doing so after this. One thing I still need to work on is my diet. Although I am vegetarian (still am) I find myself just grabbing what is there in front of me. Reminded myself that you won't succeed or get anything you want in life if you take the easy road. You must take the hard road. Wondered why so many people prefer things being easy if something being difficult is so much more rewarding and you feel a greater sense of accomplishment. 

Not too upset about today, probably because I am excited right now for some reason, but will keep the things I said in mind. 

Let's take things one day, one step at a time

Best 

Jason

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Day 22

Another dismal day. But I won't stop fighting! I will never give up! 

 

Best 

Jason

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Day 23 

Writing this currently at 3:48 PM. Awesome but weird day. It was great so far because I got college work done and I am on top of it, I cleaned my room and found my Sony headphone charger. I took out my trash, I practiced cursive, I did so many things. What was weird though was I had this shift in my brain. Like instantly, I woke up and I felt like kind to myself and not worried about anything. This might be a sign of me meditating for 5 days, already a fast impact, but that is kind of doubtful. Don't know if this feeling will stay. Hoping it will. No games. Also for my phone, I deleted everything that was mind sucking and will get back on the detox. I will only use it if I need cleaning music or something like lofi hip hop when doing college work. But otherwise I stay off it. (65 days) 

Lets do this

Best 

Jason

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Day 24, 

No games today. Today however, I realized that I really love exercising and sports. As part of my workout time I might start running, or biking again! Today I also was able to connect with some old friends from high school. It was nice to catch up. 
 

Hoping for a good day tomorrow 

Best 

Jason

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Day 25 

No games today. Decided that today would be the day I stop procrastinating on the hobbies and goals I have. The reason I haven't been following through is fear. Fear though makes the situation seem worse than it actually is, and something new can be nerve racking but if we don't take the risks or actually start, we'll never see the good or the benefits that come from the other side. I'm going to stop making excuses, doesn't matter if I am tired, I will not stop. 
 

From here I will re-write what my goals and dreams are. Then I will write down smaller tasks to reach that goal. So for Chinese, I'll write that down and then practice 30 minutes each day, and so on. 
 

Will start replying to journals again tomorrow, I will see you all then

Best 

Jason

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Day 26 

 

Good day...well for the first half. During the first part of the day I was productive, goal - oriented and feeling overall happy. I biked, went outside, started my laundry, exercised and did yoga. During the second part of the day though, I got distracted by TV, and youtube (laptop) again. In my mind this was fine, but now I am realizing that even though it was fine in my mind, it's not in general. This is because it's a distraction and it isn't productive it doesn't push you closer to your goal nothing. It's useless. This realization though shows that i am realizing my mistakes and today was an example of getting closer to no more excuses so progress! 
 

Hope you had a good day

Jason

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Day 27 

Today was really windy, but it was nice outside. Second half of the day was better than the first, because I was lazy. Need to remind myself that nothing good comes from laziness. I think forcing myself to do things might help with getting the things I want done. Of course don't force myself too hard. 
 

Hope you had a great day

Jason

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Day 28

Almost forgot to write this, my bad. Anyway no games today, still working on fighting procrastination. Today was mostly school. Went for a nice walk today, need to get better at time managing, so made a morning routine.

have a good day

Jason

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