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My journey for a new life


Jason70
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Posted (edited)

Day 49

Days w/o gaming: 49

Day satisfactory level: 4/10 

Short journal as im tired af. 

Making excuses, looking to squash them. Haven't given up yet, it's good to see the number grow.

Best 

Jason

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Day 50

Days w/o gaming: 50

Day satisfactory level: 6/10 

Action beats anything, time i put more energy towards my actions instead of what i'm feeling

Best 

Jason

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Day 51

Days w/o gaming: 51

Day satisfactory level: 7/10 

Got a lot done today, felt like I am getting back on the productivity curve. That's not a reason to stop fighting though 

Best 

Jason

 

P.S. Sorry I haven't been responding to many journals, just been really busy. Will try tomorrow.

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Day 52

Days w/o gaming: 52

Day satisfactory level: 4/10

 

Fell into impulses, still fighting, i only fail once I give up. To help with responding to more journals I will write my journals earlier.

Best 

Jason

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Day 53

Days w/o gaming: 53

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

Still trying to put action over mindset. Tired living a mediocre life. I will keep fighting, here's to tomorrow. 
 

In terms of gaming, had some urges but persevered 

Best 

Jason

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Day 54

Days w/o gaming: 54

Day satisfactory level: 5.5/10

Still fighting. Won't give up

No urges today 

Best 

Jason

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Day 55

Days w/o gaming: 55

Day satisfactory level: 7/10

Today I got nothing done, it was just a bunch of movies. It was enjoyable though. I want to be more oriented towards my goal. Trying a new routine tomorrow, with new hobbies. Maybe that will help. I'm glad to see the number of gaming keep rising. 
 

Its on me, to accomplish the things that need to get done. No one will do it for me.

Hope you had a good day

Jason

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Day 56

Days w/o gaming: 56

Day satisfactory level: 5.5/10

 

Not a good day, not a bad day. I implemented yoga for the first time and enjoyed it. I'm going to incorporate this into my schedule for a few weeks then get back into older hobbies.

Best

Jason

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Day 57

Days w/o gaming: 57

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

Mediocre day, but excited for the second half. I also thought of something about me pushing off my dreams. It might be the trauma I have from being brutally bullied as a kid. I was never one of the popular ones, i was seen as weird honestly because I liked comics and games instead of playing football and baseball. The result of the bullying, (this was before my addiction went out of hand) caused me to be introverted, more than I already was and believe that if someone was commenting on something I did it would always be negative criticism instead of constructive. I know the two types exist but I think that thinking carried to today. It also might be that I'm afraid of facing myself and understand that I will be shitty at something when I do it for the first time. 
 

In order to get over this, I'm going to turn to you guys and submit one part of my book bi monthly. This will give me time to work on it and make edits as well as getting over the criticism (self and from others bit)

Have a good day

Jason

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5 hours ago, Jason70 said:

 

 

Day 57

Days w/o gaming: 57

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

Mediocre day, but excited for the second half. I also thought of something about me pushing off my dreams. It might be the trauma I have from being brutally bullied as a kid. I was never one of the popular ones, i was seen as weird honestly because I liked comics and games instead of playing football and baseball. The result of the bullying, (this was before my addiction went out of hand) caused me to be introverted, more than I already was and believe that if someone was commenting on something I did it would always be negative criticism instead of constructive. I know the two types exist but I think that thinking carried to today. It also might be that I'm afraid of facing myself and understand that I will be shitty at something when I do it for the first time. 
 

In order to get over this, I'm going to turn to you guys and submit one part of my book bi monthly. This will give me time to work on it and make edits as well as getting over the criticism (self and from others bit)

Have a good day

Jason

Sorry to hear about the bullying. Of course you didn’t deserve it and it wasn’t your fault, but sometimes people just suck and who knows what insecurities they have such that they need to project it onto someone else.
I’m really excited to read your book! That’s awesome and really cool you’re writing one. 

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Day 58

Days w/o gaming: 58

Day satisfactory level: 8/10

Better day because I worked on my story. Watched a Ted Talk on it, and I learned my goals were too vague. Going to rewrite them tomorrow. Goal for tomorrow is to write at least 3 rough draft pages. 
 

@Theresa thanks, the bullying was pretty much only during elementary school, so not a long time. This isn't a good thing but most people get bullied i think  so in a way it was a normal circumstance that most people deal with.

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Day 59

Days w/o gaming: 59

Day satisfactory level: 7.5/10

This is my second day of actually writing and working towards my dream of being a published writer. Not sure when I'll know when I gained that dream. You could say "oh when you see your book on the shelf, duh." Something the video I watched yesterday taught me was that your book may be published but you can't control whether it will be well received or if stores will stock it. I guess I feel like I achieved it when I am satisfied with what I've done. It's only been two days but I realized how silly it was of me to be scared of working towards my goals. One, its something I enjoy and two, it just feels fulfilling. Way better than playing a game. I decided today do one page a day to start then work up to more. Since I have been pushing it off for so long, it's not right for me to jump in and finish an entire chapter by the end of the month. That's unrealistic. Also it will give me a chance to finish a page then check back and edit. 

Hope you have a great day

Jason

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Day 60

Days w/o gaming: 60

Day satisfactory level: 4/10

Was not so good today because I got sick. It's not COVID but it's related to it. I just got my second dose of the vaccine yesterday and today I felt really shitty, so decided to go easy on myself. Only reason I thought it was bad because I am still hard on myself for being lazy and not being productive constantly even though we can't do that. Going to try to release pressure on myself for that and just be kinder to myself when i fail or i don't live up to some expectations.

I'm really happy I hit 2 months of no games. Without this community I wouldn't have even lasted a day! Only 30 days left!

Best 

Jason

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Day 61

Days w/o gaming: 61

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

Had some urges today but pulled through. Going to go back to chasing dreams and being productive tomorrow. No excuses. 
 

Best 

Jason 

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Day 62

Days w/o gaming: 62

Day satisfactory level: 5/10

Meh day. Gonna try harder tomorrow 

Best 

Jason

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Day 63

Days w/o gaming: 63

Day satisfactory level: 9/10

Was productive today. Finished college work efficiently, finished up my laundry, i read and wrote a bit of my book, i drew. It was a really satisfying and great day. Only thing i didn't get to was photography but it's fine for how well this day went.

Lets hope tomorrow goes well too 

Best

Jason

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Day 64

Days w/o gaming: 64

Day satisfactory level: 7/10

Day could of been better. Still got a lot of things done. I'm happy knowing that I have been fighting hard for a good life.

Best

Jason

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Day 65

Days w/o gaming: 65

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

 

Refining my schedules for the day. Still fighting for a better life 💪.

Best 

Jason

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Day 66

Days w/o gaming: 66

Day satisfactory level: 5/10

Still working to fight excuses. Find out why i might be avoiding doing work. My fear and preference to other activities might be a result of my self - consciousness . I am super self - conscious and afraid of lots of things. Will look into it more

Best 

Jason


sorry haven't been as active in community will try moving forward, not this weekend though as too busy to write journals. Will be back on sunday.

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Day 69

Days w/o gaming: 69

Day satisfactory level: 7/10

It was a meh day due to video streaming and eating junk food. I'm going to cut back on junk food (including soda), because whenever I have it, my mouth feels like it's jacked up, which I hate the feeling of. Despite the day, I rated it a 7 out of ten because I am excited of something new I am trying tomorrow. 

Best 

Jason

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Posted (edited)

Day 70

Days w/o gaming: 70

Day satisfactory level: 5/10

I know I just took a break but I am going to take another short break from journaling here to really get specific with my goals and define my hobbies. I think to get out of my comfort zone I am just going to pick one random hobby and do that for a few weeks. I'll let you know after how it goes. 
 

Also I will be back before the end of the month to post a bit of my story.

best 

Jason 

Edited by Jason70
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Posted (edited)

Day 74

Days w/o gaming: 74

Day satisfactory level: 7/10

I noticed something. Restriction and prioritizing has really helped me with getting things done instead of choosing to stay in my bed. Today I got a lot accomplished, I got back into exercising, I completed my college work aside from a few projects and I finished my laundry. Making good progress.

Also since it's the end of the month Here is a passage from my novel, since this is my first time writing something so huge, constructive criticism would be nice.

Best

Jason

P.S. I will try being more active in community again tomorrow

 

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Day 75

Days w/o gaming: 75

Day satisfactory level: 6/10

 

For my novel, I am having a writers block, I don't know where I should take the story next. I might take a step back and write down some Ideas more. Looking to play a musical instrument, most likely will be guitar or piano. Anyway, I am teaching myself Music theory then will teach myself one of those two instruments to eventually get into music production. The reason I am doing all of that before is because music theory is important for music as a whole and knowing both an instrument and the theory will both be good hobbies to fill time with and will make me better off when I start producing as a hobby. No urges today. Making good progress.

Best 

Jason

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19 minutes ago, Jason70 said:

Anyway, I am teaching myself Music theory then will teach myself one of those two instruments to eventually get into music production. The reason I am doing all of that before is because music theory is important for music as a whole and knowing both an instrument and the theory will both be good hobbies to fill time with and will make me better off when I start producing as a hobby.

Advice from a musician: learn an instrument first, then learn only enough theory to do what you want to do with it. Making music is a living process, something that can only be experienced in the immediacy of the present moment. Theory is reflection after the fact; on it's own, without something to reflect on, it's just empty.

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Hey Jason,

Congrats on hitting 75 days! That's super inspirational. I hope you find a lot of joy in jumping into the big world of music.

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