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notKosmic

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About notKosmic

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  1. @Zeno thank you! My brain keeps thinking now about playing in moderation. "Just limit it to one hour a day. No watching videos about it, or anything other than one hour." I don't know if I could do that though. Yikes. D2 is Diablo 2. I play on PC. What program can block the game? Couldn't the person just uninstall that program from blocking?
  2. I started playing d2 again. Just for the last several days. Last night I couldn't fall asleep because I'm thinking about the game. Then I've been starting to wake up after only four hours and my mind is racing with the game. Moderation ain't going to work with this game. I need to quit cold turkey with this one. What would you do? Can you guys encourage me?! I don't like where this is headed... It is miserable.
  3. Day 1 starts again! I'm back. Starting over. I played again and got sucked right back into a game. I've tried to quit a few times in the last few weeks with no success. I need the accountability right now. I'm going through a big time of change and transition. I don't know how to cope very well with that stress and the stomach pain I'm experiencing. So I go to video games again. Time to share the journey. Last time I think I went to hard. I overdid it on the productivity side of things and exhausted myself. I need to find balance and a way to rest and enjoy life without ov
  4. Chess is becoming a problem for me. It is masking the problem. Am I okay to be with myself and not seek instant gratification? No. Not yet. Not at all. Chess online is filling the gap. Time to include that in the detox too.
  5. Reminds me of a message by John Piper that I listened to called Don't waste your life. God thoughts
  6. Day 7 - 1 week Aches. Today I am aching after a vaccine. Not going to give in. I'm still helping some around the house with chores. Just resting today and being a bit grumpy. I should feel better tomorrow. A little more chess.com probably today. RescueTime - 56 No exercise. Did some reading first thing this morning at the table and journaled in a journal. It was a good way to start the day.
  7. Day 6 Presence. For work, I talk to people a lot, caring for people, leading and recruiting people. Yesterday I was more present with them. I enjoyed the conversations with each person. I wasn't thinking about other things easily distracted as much. I remember reading a book called the attentive life where the author defines love as being attentive. Before when I was distracted much of the time I was half paying attention or less than half. If someone shared a time, a name, or something detailed I was having to ask them later, "what time will that be tomorrow again?" "Who's brother needs
  8. Thank you Jason. I was a music major in college, then I got married in college and changed careers. I am so grateful for how everything worked out. I was passionate about music for a long time and practiced with tenacity for several years. That practice wasn't a waste even though I don't touch my french horn much anymore. That hard work and diligence helps me now to get out of the home and back in the groove. I believe whatever we major in in college if we love it and learn the value or hard work and how to learn there is a huge benefit there. I appreciate your kindness. Keep up the great
  9. Day 5 Days off were being filled more and more with video games. While my wife was homeschooling the kids, there would be times when I was playing Hearthstone and distracting the kids. She has asked me many times not to play while the kids were doing schoolwork. I would retort that it was my day off and I forgot again. Back and forth we went... Thru my last two days on detox I wasn't playing games and I wasn't on YouTube all day. I did play some on chess.com over the last two days but more time was spent with family and helping around the house than before. For sure! Part of de
  10. Day 4 My wife and I are talking a lot more. I thought that would be more stressful. Usually, when I am in the digital fog, talking to her about stressful matters is something I just want to get over with. It was irritating to me in that state of mind, a matter to be solved quickly with as little stress as possible. Of course, I wasn't like this all of the time, but more than I want to think about. Now, we talk, hum songs, dance, talk, and enjoy each other again much more. A permanent digital detox may be in order... I have greatly enjoyed talking with her, accomplishing things arou
  11. Day 3 Story: I played chess over the board with my daughters yesterday. They are getting quite good at the game. I played at their level and intentionally made some bad moves to see how they would capitalize. My oldest daughter did a nice mate in three which I saw and hoped she would see. She just turned 10. She's probably at a 600 ish level now in real chess. She's 1050 on a chess kid website. I was more attentive today with my kids and wife. The other day, the day before the detox, I overheard my 7year old say something that broke my heart. My wife was going to go drop my son off a
  12. A story of intentionality, aka. Adventures in Reality: Date night without the kids yesterday. My wife and I just bought a tee, some t-ball bats, gloves for the kids and myself, and balls for baseball and softball for the kids and us. We played catch together in the yard and on the street. Then we went on a walk around the neighborhood without our kids. We haven't been able to do that in so long! It was so refreshing to not be on my phone showing her the latest "cool video" or whatever I found. We are actually talking. I'm not treating her in my mind like some annoyance away from the
  13. Thank you @TheNewMe2.0 I was doing well for a while there. Life and stress, pain and suffering hit. 2016 I was on these forums for 90 days. Now I am back! I'm glad to be here. You all inspire me. Thank you for helping to encourage me with my detox. It has been incredible thus far. YouTube has been tough to get out of my life, period. It has been liberating already to be away from it. D2, was a recent "fling" with an old "relationship." I just had my wisdom teeth taken out about 10 days ago. Pain tends to bring me back and stress. I will definitely need to be focused on those down
  14. I just restarted my journey and it is encouraging to read your journal. I loved seeing the photos outside. Thank you for inspiring me to get outside and keep a clear mind!
  15. Day 1 How did it go yesterday? A story of intentionality, aka. Adventures in Reality: I have been in such a fog lately. I had YouTube going nearly nonstop if I wasn't having to attend to something else. Even then, I usually was listening to something "interesting" in the background. Yesterday, my wife asked me to head to the local dollar store and get a gift for my dad. As I was heading out the door she asked me also to pick up a few toothbrushes and some kid's toothpaste for the kids. Usually, I would ask her to text me the whole list or I might forget. As I walked into the store,