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Learn it the hot way. [Day 90 COMPLETED]


chiliflavor
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14 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

That's cool you know all that stuff about Christianity/Catholicism. I think practicing christianity can be really helpful for people. Makes me feel better and more mentally healthy. Positive about life etc.

Indeed! I totally agree with what you said. It actually contributed a lot in building my values when I was a kid. In general, their idea made me "kind." Haha!
Religion is such a broad and sensitive topic that's why I often refrain from talking about it. However, that would be a nice entry for my quick fact section. Thanks, @Erik2.0😁👍

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Remaining Days: 36 days (July 6, 2020 - Monday)

Quick Fact About Me:

In line with my conversation with Erik2.0, I'd like to take the chance to tell you my religious beliefs. I do not intend to offend, persuade, change the perspective, or even trigger the thought of questioning anybody's belief. This is just a fact about me. 😂

Throughout my childhood, I've been following the Catholic way of living until we studied—in our Filipino literature high school subject—Dr. Jose Rizal's novel titled Noli Me Tángere. I became very interested in that particular subject which made me question the beliefs and practices of my religion. The next year of high school, we had to study its sequel El Filibusterismo—my turning point. After "analyzing, Googling, and asking the opinion of others," as well as the reinforcement of my "young and stupid mind," I decided to stop believing in God.

I was 16 back thenunsure, confused and always been evading religion conversations. My parents didn't know that I wasn't believing anymore; my siblings had an idea. I still go to church with them but was not praying nor listening. All the lectures and readings that I hear had been deflected and countered by my thoughts. For 8 yearsstarting college until the peak of my gaming careerI believed I was an atheist. I don't need others' approval nor do I need to explain myself to others. I just believed, that time, while studying sciences, that there is no God. And so, during those years, in order to ease the conflict and to avoid debates, I always say, "I'm a catholic...by papers."

Eventually, for some accumulated reasons, I became an agnostic for a while. It was the time when I've been in my happy universe. 👌 Because of smoking, my perspective shifted drastically. I started to legitimately care for my parents and siblings and to give importance to what makes me happy (a factor that made me to play more). That time, those two things are what matter to me most. Then, our events place business was established. I'm still playing that time though. There are so many things (mostly emotional challenges) that had happened after graduating college until the time that our family business started. I was ultimately depressed and exhausted with my life. Why are these events related to my religious beliefs? A day had come, just another regular day, that I cried myself out because of the only reason that after all I've been through, I'm still here living a happy and contented life. It was at that moment that I realized, even though I neglected Him, God never abandoned me.

Feels Today:

  • I feel lazy this afternooncancelled my tutor session. 😅
  • Today, is mostly "socialization day." Crap, I feel unproductive in these kind of days. But, I know I need it. I also need break time for being "alone." 😂

Daily Quest:

  • This morning, I continued reading the Market Wizard. I went home to help preparing the lunch then went back here at the venue with my siblings. They like to study and work here. I don't know, maybe because of the "ambiance."
  • This afternoon, I just talked to my friends regarding there business ideas. We're planning to join the online seller bandwagon😅
  • Later, after dinner, I'll be meeting with my friends via zoom to talk about possible businesses. They really like to start something; in my part, I'm kind of not confident since I got so many in my hands.
  • Later too, I'll be presenting the mock website for the company of my cousin's husband. I hope they'd like it.
  • I'll try to make the exponents module until I feel sleepy since it was supposed to be continued this afternoon.

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ I was able to finish the "homepage" of my cousin's website.

  • ✔️ Exercised as soon as I wake up


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module

Picture Picture:
One of my remembrance with Blizzard (I still have remaining Diablo and Sylvanas (UNI QLO) t-shirts on sale too lmao!). Attached to this Hearthstone lanyard are my keys for the events place. In the picture it has no keys, because I removed it so that I can post it on our "local eBay" so that my friend can "buy" it and leave me a positive review. Hahaha! 🤣
107386751_367520390890042_8594705420943210603_n.thumb.jpg.af85dc4f913f7778ec05342e77385ea3.jpg

How Can I Be Better?
By accepting who I am and being open to other people's perspective

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Good evening! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 54]

I also credit Christianity with making me a good and I suppose therefore kind person. Reading the Bible made me want to be good. So you're kind of agnostic now then? Sounds like you've done some soul searching. I still try out different ways of believing and different restrictions to place on myself. But I generally come back to trying to abstain from swearing, masturbation and sex before marriage. The only one I go back on forth on sometimes is the sex. But I feel more sane when I refrain from the idea of allowing myself to do that.

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@Erik2.0 & @chiliflavor it's kind of funny how a lot of addicts somewhat turn to religion once we start getting clean... even those of us who are still at least somewhat opposed to the idea (like myself). I've certainly become more respectful of Christianity at least. Some days I even fully acknowledge that it's responsible for all of my value systems. Listening to Jordan Peterson's lectures on Christianity has helped as he breaks down a lot of the mythology behind the Old Testament in a way I've never heard before and which makes a lot of sense.

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@ceponatia I think you have a point. I've noticed a lot of addicts get religious when they get clean too. I didn't really intend to I just ended up spending time with a family that was Christian and got into Church with them one day. Jordan Peterson sounds like an interesting person to listen to. Maybe I'll check him out.

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@Erik2.0 Yeah, we can say I did some soul searching for quite some time. 😅 Good for you man, you're abstaining and reading the bible! I plan to read it all too so I can have my own conclusion. 😄 Hmmm, I'm not agnostic at all. I don't know man. I'm not a devoted Catholic (e.g. joining processions, strictly following the bible)I just believe and pray to my God. I respect other's God; I respect others who don't have a God; and, don't mind the people who insists that their God is right😂

@ceponatia Haha! Maybe, only maybe 😅, we (probably most of the members here) need someone (something) to hold on to whenever we feel like it's hardest time of our life. Nice, thanks for the suggestion; I'll look into that lectures. I'll watch it when I'm not preoccupied so I could internalize it. 😂

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Remaining Days: 35 days (July 7, 2020 - Tuesday)

Quick Fact About Me:

The reason why I wanted to learn how to smoke, when I was 15, was because I like to be a rock star. You know, young and stupid. 😂 I thought that if I smoked and drink liquor, I'll be "cool" and will become a rock star. Clearly, I was wrong. 😄

Feels Today:

  • I feel disappointed with myself today. I smoked again—out of boredom. 😅 I was waiting for the 10,000 km maintenance of the car. It took too long, I got bored and lost my will not to smoke. Bought a pack and lighter, smoked 5 sticks all in all, then threw the pack out of the window while driving—very frustrated and disappointed. The cravings was strong today because I was outside. I'm vulnerable outside. I easily get bored when I'm not at home. It should be the other way around, right? 😅 Moreover, the cravings were from last week, the day I sold my account. Now, I have to fight for it again—starting from day 1. It's okay. I know better this time.
  • I didn't tell my girlfriend. She's busy anyway; she'll just scold me like I'm some dumb ass kid. 😔😂 I think she doesn't even read this journal, so, what the hell. 🤣 What's nice with our setup is that we don't interrupt one another unless it's really needed. What I don't like with our setup is that whenever someone needs extreme help, time does not permit it. I know she likes to help me, she knows I like to help her, but I feel that there's this some kind of barrier between the two of us. With certainty, I know it's our personal reservation since we've been through a lot on our separate past. 😄 Or, could it be we're not meant to be?? Haha! I have faith in her and I believe we can make it through. 🙂  
  • Few moments before I smoked, I wished that I had someone to speak to, like a sponsor or something, whenever I'm on the edge of relapsing. Someday, I'd create something like this too, but for ex-smokers—just a local community, so that I could help people who just need someone to talk to about their cravings. 😁
  • Sleepy and hungry at 01:02 AM. This is quite a challenging day. 😁
  • Today, I swear in my name, Chiliflavor, that I will never, ever, smoke another cigarette again. That's the last thing that I can use to swear with. Hahaha! I ran out of things to sacrifice because of all the swears I've made.

Daily Quest:

  • Had a car service which lasted til late afternoon
  • Had presented the 1st draft of website to my cousin - she liked it! We'll meet again, on Saturday, with her husband, my client. I got to fix some details in the website and add new pages
  • tomorrow, after checking my stocks, I'll continue reading market wizards in the morning
  • then after reading a chapter, I'll continue to do the exponent module til lunch time and resume after eating - my nephew will also arrive for a tutor session
  • at night, I'll redesign our package presentations, posters, fliers, and automated responses for advertisements and inquiries since we've changed our rate
    *for the main business, the events place, this week is dedicated for adverstisements, ease of disseminating information, and promotion

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ So, me and my friends talked about what business should we do—cold brew; I think I can't commit. I've so much in my mind now. And, I think it won't be "fair," in terms of tasks and profit since the business can actually be done by a single person.

  •  wasn't able to continue the math module 

  • ✔️ Exercised as soon as I wake up


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module
PS. I think I have to remove this part

Picture Picture:
My 14-year old drum set. It evolved a lot. Two years after it was bought , the two original cymbals were replaced by these branded ones. A year after that, double pedals were added. And three years after that, a new mini cymbal was added. The drum skins (the part where you hit with the sticks) are new—except the "flaming" drum skin. Jeez, I hate that too. It was the only design available for the bass drum's size. 😅 The microphones are the newest member of the family, it was only added last February, when I legitimately had an extra cash. 🤣 There are only few drummers on our high school that could make the audience groove. I'm proud to say I'm one of them! However, as I age, well unfortunately, so is my drumming talent. I didn't improve since then, that's the truth. It's totally fine, I gave up the rock star dream since I entered college—ironically, my love for music drastically increased. 😄 
83059302_275406490436108_4399248280726051711_n.jpg.0eb5c93b095e9ccc47b522f1b050dcda.jpg

How Can I Be Better?
By accepting defeat and learning from it, i.e., never repeat it again. 

----------------------------------

Good night! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

 

Edited by chiliflavor
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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 55]

Nice drum kit, can't believe it's that old. I always wanted to try kit but I only played snare and front ensemble in high school marching band

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It's surprising that atheists exist. But it's because of peer pressure, neglect, arrogance or willingly wanting to be 'unique / original in thought'

Why wouldn't one believe in God, seriously?

The moon is the correct size, the sun is the correct size, the sun is the correct distance away from the moon and the moon the correct distance away from the earth that we see perfect eclipses. Ever thought of that? 4 perfect factors have to exist for that to be the case. (maybe the density and refraction index of earth's atmosphere are other factors)

All creatures on earth are functioning optimally, without any struggling with the wrong shaped wings, or eyes that don't perform right.
Look at the birds. All of them can glide. Now I've had plenty of experience creating virtual planes, researching aircraft, flying flight simulators and studying physics to know that things have to be perfectly setup for a bird to glide. Wing and tail size, angle and position, weight of bird, co-ordination, brain's computing power, etc. have to be perfect for things to function as we observe with bird-life. We have lots of birds around our house and they are all great gliders. Some don't choose to glide, but when forced to they get it right. We have storks and birds of prey that can glide for miles without flapping their wings once. This requires precision design. Any RC enthusiast will tell you this.

If people are atheists, it's because they choose to be.

The best way to get one's life right is to read the Bible every day. I'm glad some people here have recognised this. 🙂

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10 hours ago, chiliflavor said:

@Erik2.0 Yeah, we can say I did some soul searching for quite some time. 😅 Good for you man, you're abstaining and reading the bible! I plan to read it all too so I can have my own conclusion. 😄 Hmmm, I'm not agnostic at all. I don't know man. I'm not a devoted Catholic (e.g. joining processions, strictly following the bible)I just believe and pray to my God. I respect other's God; I respect others who don't have a God; and, don't mind the people who insists that their God is right😂

@ceponatia Haha! Maybe, only maybe 😅, we (probably most of the members here) need someone (something) to hold on to whenever we feel like it's hardest time of our life. Nice, thanks for the suggestion; I'll look into that lectures. I'll watch it when I'm not preoccupied so I could internalize it. 😂

---------------------------------

Remaining Days: 35 days (July 7, 2020 - Tuesday)

Quick Fact About Me:

The reason why I wanted to learn how to smoke, when I was 15, was because I like to be a rock star. You know, young and stupid. 😂 I thought that if I smoked and drink liquor, I'll be "cool" and will become a rock star. Clearly, I was wrong. 😄

Feels Today:

  • I feel disappointed with myself today. I smoked again—out of boredom. 😅 I was waiting for the 10,000 km maintenance of the car. It took too long, I got bored and lost my will not to smoke. Bought a pack and lighter, smoked 5 sticks all in all, then threw the pack out of the window while driving—very frustrated and disappointed. The cravings was strong today because I was outside. I'm vulnerable outside. I easily get bored when I'm not at home. It should be the other way around, right? 😅 Moreover, the cravings were from last week, the day I sold my account. Now, I have to fight for it again—starting from day 1. It's okay. I know better this time.
  • I didn't tell my girlfriend. She's busy anyway; she'll just scold me like I'm some dumb ass kid. 😔😂 I think she doesn't even read this journal, so, what the hell. 🤣 What's nice with our setup is that we don't interrupt one another unless it's really needed. What I don't like with our setup is that whenever someone needs extreme help, time does not permit it. I know she likes to help me, she knows I like to help her, but I feel that there's this some kind of barrier between the two of us. With certainty, I know it's our personal reservation since we've been through a lot on our separate past. 😄 Or, could it be we're not meant to be?? Haha! I have faith in her and I believe we can make it through. 🙂  
  • Few moments before I smoked, I wished that I had someone to speak to, like a sponsor or something, whenever I'm on the edge of relapsing. Someday, I'd create something like this too, but for ex-smokers—just a local community, so that I could help people who just need someone to talk to about their cravings. 😁
  • Sleepy and hungry at 01:02 AM. This is quite a challenging day. 😁
  • Today, I swear in my name, Chiliflavor, that I will never, ever, smoke another cigarette again. That's the last thing that I can use to swear with. Hahaha! I ran out of things to sacrifice because of all the swears I've made.

Daily Quest:

  • Had a car service which lasted til late afternoon
  • Had presented the 1st draft of website to my cousin - she liked it! We'll meet again, on Saturday, with her husband, my client. I got to fix some details in the website and add new pages
  • tomorrow, after checking my stocks, I'll continue reading market wizards in the morning
  • then after reading a chapter, I'll continue to do the exponent module til lunch time and resume after eating - my nephew will also arrive for a tutor session
  • at night, I'll redesign our package presentations, posters, fliers, and automated responses for advertisements and inquiries since we've changed our rate
    *for the main business, the events place, this week is dedicated for adverstisements, ease of disseminating information, and promotion

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ So, me and my friends talked about what business should we do—cold brew; I think I can't commit. I've so much in my mind now. And, I think it won't be "fair," in terms of tasks and profit since the business can actually be done by a single person.

  •  wasn't able to continue the math module 

  • ✔️ Exercised as soon as I wake up


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module
PS. I think I have to remove this part

Picture Picture:
My 14-year old drum set. It evolved a lot. Two years after it was bought , the two original cymbals were replaced by these branded ones. A year after that, double pedals were added. And three years after that, a new mini cymbal was added. The drum skins (the part where you hit with the sticks) are new—except the "flaming" drum skin. Jeez, I hate that too. It was the only design available for the bass drum's size. 😅 The microphones are the newest member of the family, it was only added last February, when I legitimately had an extra cash. 🤣 There are only few drummers on our high school that could make the audience groove. I'm proud to say I'm one of them! However, as I age, well unfortunately, so is my drumming talent. I didn't improve since then, that's the truth. It's totally fine, I gave up the rock star dream since I entered college—ironically, my love for music drastically increased. 😄 
83059302_275406490436108_4399248280726051711_n.jpg.0eb5c93b095e9ccc47b522f1b050dcda.jpg

How Can I Be Better?
By accepting defeat and learning from it, i.e., never repeat it again. 

----------------------------------

Good night! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

 

I expressed some interest in learning the drums back in March and I held off because I didn't know where I'd be moving. I was considering learning electronic drums and playing on the weekends or something. I know @Ikar plays them as well so I was curious how difficult it is to pick things up and how to practice effectively.

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1 hour ago, alphadax said:

Nice drum kit, can't believe it's that old. I always wanted to try kit but I only played snare and front ensemble in high school marching band

Thanks, @alphadax! I know right! I can't believe it too. 😅 You won't have a problem learning to play a kit since you've already played the snare before. For me, it's the hardest part to play in a drum set. 😁

10 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

I expressed some interest in learning the drums back in March and I held off because I didn't know where I'd be moving. I was considering learning electronic drums and playing on the weekends or something. I know @Ikar plays them as well so I was curious how difficult it is to pick things up and how to practice effectively.

I support you, @BooksandTrees! Playing drums with a song is a stress reliever for me. These past 2 months, most of my cigarette breaks were replaced by playing or creating some random beat, or just a 2-minute trial of a complex pattern.
---------------

In today's time, if you guys wanted to learn, I recommend that you buy an electric drum kit instead of a regular one. With that, you won't have a problem with the noise since the volume can be lowered, easy to record since you can just plug it to the computer, have a lots of sound options (as far as I know) like classic drum sound, hard rock drum sound, etc.; and, you'll have no problem transferring it to another place. 😄 Unless you plan to pursue a career in music, a regular drum kit is indeed needed. 🙂

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You're kind of like my mom then. She's 'Catholic but not that devout.' She goes to church maybe 1-2 times a month just to attend mass and that's about it. I don't go to church at all. I just read the Bible and abstain from things. Good luck quitting smoking. I quit marijuana and drinking after 10 years of being addicted. Like with game quitting a strong commitment to quitting is the biggest factor in whether you quit or not. So make a deep commitment and stay committed.

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23 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

So make a deep commitment and stay committed.

@Erik2.0, thanks for the reminder. I really needed that. 😄

---------------------------------

Remaining Days: 33 days (July 9, 2020 - Thursday)

Quick Fact About Me:

I like to dance. Just a hobby. More like goofing around. Hahaha! 😄 

Feels Today:

  • I feel busy. I wasn't able to make an entry yesterday. 😭 
  • My sister will sleep here today for the 2nd night—work mode. She said that if she's on her room, no work will be done, only sleeping. 😂
  • I feel overwhelmed by the tasks I need to do.
  • I feel neglected by my girlfriend since Monday. It started when she's now going to the office instead of working from home. It feels like she doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe I'm missing something. I think she's just preoccupied like me. It's okay though. She also has an exam on Monday. Most likely that's the reason why she's so preoccupied. I just don't like that she didn't even ask me how I'm doing... 😅 Times like this are hard—makes me want to play and smoke. 😖
  • Despite all of this, I'm still on the positive side of life. I learned how not to be affected with the negativity, most of the time. This is what I like about myself right now—being able to let go and move on. 👍

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I helped my sister in her math lesson. She'll teach the special child the concept of set theory. She's very tired of creating lesson plans. My sister doesn't do well in math too. Haha! Actually, I am one of the reasons why she didn't improve in math. I always get irritated, when we were younger (1 year gap only), when our mother tells me to teach her math. At that time, I was so busy playing playstation. The result is, she's having a hard time teaching mathematics. I should have taught her long time ago... Now, I'll help her in anyway possible.
  • I've continued to redesign our brochure. Our youngest sibling has knowledge when it comes to photoshop. I'll consult to him if it's better to make it on photoshop or in the website canva. I think canva will do. We really don't need an extreme brochure design. 😅 Simple but elegant is enough.
  • Tomorrow, I'll trade (virtually) in the morning. 4 days left in the competition. I'm down by -8%, rank 482. 🤣
  • After trading, I'll be modifying the website of my cousin. I need to contact wordpress support for the things I don't know. 😄
  • Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be having a math tutor session. Hmm. I'll just to the exponent module on Sunday. I have to concentrate on the website since we have a meeting on Saturday.

Quest Log:

  • No progress in my math module

  •  I haven't finished designing the new fliers nor the other advertisements 😅

  • No workout nor reading the stock book 😭


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module
PS. I think I have to remove this part
Edit: Nah. It reminds me of the things I should do. 😅

Picture Picture

Chiliflavor at 12 years old. 😂 A bit serious, probably trying my best not to laugh. 🤣 This was the time that I started playing drums and guitar as well as getting addicted to Dota. There are no supports, carries, positioning, etc., back then. All you have to do is to select a hero and enjoy the game. Real trash talk—telling in the face of your enemy (in game only, friends IRL haha!) that he sucks, since you are both in the same computer shop. 😂 This time was one of the best years of my life—leaving elementary and entering high school. 😄 PS. I had a lot of pimples when I was in puberty. 😅
76953_1734884214837_7095397_n.jpg.8a90b9518a480ddf325ae688f5f5bcd8.jpg

How Can I Be Better?
Focus... all I have to do is try.  

----------------------------------

Good night! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

Edited by chiliflavor
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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 57]

You're welcome I needed the reminder too. I felt like I recommitted myself to quitting yesterday too. That's good you help your sister with math now. It's a difficult subject that takes a lot of time to master.

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Remaining Days: 32 days (July 10, 2020 - Friday)

 

Quick Fact About Me:

So yeah, I used to dance when I was in college. I joined a dance organization instead of a music organization. 😄 I assumed that dancing will expose me to a lot of events and people—you know, I like to be the focus of attention, back when I was "young" and stupid. 😅 Jeez, what have I done to my image. Now, I fully accepted my geekness and I'm loving it! 😍

Feels Today:

  • I still feel busy today. No cravings of smoking. No cravings of games. I want to see my girlfriend. I miss her. 😅 We'll see each other on Wednesday.
  • I ate a lot today. My mother likes to eat snacks and she's not quite health conscious. I mean she is conscious only when you remind her. Sooner or later, I'll tell her that I was an ex-smoker. Maybe it would change her perspective? I'm still thinking about it, I don't want to hurt her and my father's feelings. They didn't know that I smoked for 10 years—an idea is possible.
  • Too sleepy now; kind of not in the mood to write tonight but ended up having lots of words said 🤣

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I finalized the design for the brochure. I taught Mathematics. And, I've studied and continued to establish the main features of the website of my cousin. Quite a busy day. We had a nice lunch and dinner with my family.
  • Tomorrow, for the whole day, I'll fix my cousin's website. We'll meet again via video call at night. Hoping that they'll like my design. 😅

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ My younger brother started working on the new and updated brochure. 👌 I'm glad he helps me with this part of the business. I suck at designing—holy crap—as far as I know.

  •  ✔️ Traded in the morning. Rank is 508th. 😅 3 days to go. I'm starting to think about my shortcomings when it comes to stock trading.

  •  ✔️ I've started to learn more about Wordpress. Although I've already designed our business' website using wordpress, I've only experienced using their "business plan" using my cousin's website. Customizing is so much easier than what I've used to do in our business' website.

  •  ✔️ Math tutor session done. My nephew is on fire, he understands more concepts now compared two months ago. Great job, kid!

  •  Didn't worked out fully; situps and bicycle crunches only


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module, read stock book again and analyze my state of trading

Picture Picture
My office/control room (during events). Ex gaming room. 😅 On the left, is my "study table." It's where I plan my next steps for the business as well as in life, read books, or eat. 🤣 In the middle is my desktop—my best friend, I guess. Haha! It's only 2 years old and wasn't upgraded yet since then except for the right most monitor. I only use 2 monitors. The left most is just connected to our cctv. I placed it there so that it will look like I'm using 3 monitors. Haha! Meanwhile, in the right corner is the mixer. It's used whenever we have an event here—to control the music. DJ Chili in d' hauz. Doesn't sound great... LMAO 😂 Beyond that glass window in the right, is my "bedroom."  The next thing I'd upgrade in this office is my chair. Before, I wanted to buy a gaming chair so that I can "play professionaly" or recline it when watching netflix. Now that I'm not a gamer anymore and don't want to spend my whole day watching netflix , I'm thinking of buying an "executive chair" for "working" (😏) purposes. You know, the brown/black leather chair that the boss's use in movies. 😄 Maybe next time, if I had extra money. Haha!
107522831_672540389999705_3791796011373712266_n.jpg.ebe54a3be3d6a4f1b89f8ae8635951e7.jpg

When curiosity strikes:
What would you buy if you have one "purchase anything" ticket? I'd buy a yacht. 🤣

----------------------------------

Good night! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 58]
On 7/10/2020 at 2:05 PM, chiliflavor said:

Remaining Days: 32 days (July 10, 2020 - Friday)

 

Quick Fact About Me:

So yeah, I used to dance when I was in college. I joined a dance organization instead of a music organization. 😄 I assumed that dancing will expose me to a lot of events and people—you know, I like to be the focus of attention, back when I was "young" and stupid. 😅 Jeez, what have I done to my image. Now, I fully accepted my geekness and I'm loving it! 😍

Feels Today:

  • I still feel busy today. No cravings of smoking. No cravings of games. I want to see my girlfriend. I miss her. 😅 We'll see each other on Wednesday.
  • I ate a lot today. My mother likes to eat snacks and she's not quite health conscious. I mean she is conscious only when you remind her. Sooner or later, I'll tell her that I was an ex-smoker. Maybe it would change her perspective? I'm still thinking about it, I don't want to hurt her and my father's feelings. They didn't know that I smoked for 10 years—an idea is possible.
  • Too sleepy now; kind of not in the mood to write tonight but ended up having lots of words said 🤣

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I finalized the design for the brochure. I taught Mathematics. And, I've studied and continued to establish the main features of the website of my cousin. Quite a busy day. We had a nice lunch and dinner with my family.
  • Tomorrow, for the whole day, I'll fix my cousin's website. We'll meet again via video call at night. Hoping that they'll like my design. 😅

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ My younger brother started working on the new and updated brochure. 👌 I'm glad he helps me with this part of the business. I suck at designing—holy crap—as far as I know.

  •  ✔️ Traded in the morning. Rank is 508th. 😅 3 days to go. I'm starting to think about my shortcomings when it comes to stock trading.

  •  ✔️ I've started to learn more about Wordpress. Although I've already designed our business' website using wordpress, I've only experienced using their "business plan" using my cousin's website. Customizing is so much easier than what I've used to do in our business' website.

  •  ✔️ Math tutor session done. My nephew is on fire, he understands more concepts now compared two months ago. Great job, kid!

  •  Didn't worked out fully; situps and bicycle crunches only


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, exponents module, read stock book again and analyze my state of trading

Picture Picture
My office/control room (during events). Ex gaming room. 😅
107522831_672540389999705_3791796011373712266_n.jpg.ebe54a3be3d6a4f1b89f8ae8635951e7.jpg

When curiosity strikes:
What would you buy if you have one "purchase anything" ticket? I'd buy a yacht. 🤣

----------------------------------

Good night! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

What's that music device thing in that right corner? Also, this looks like an office at a clinic lol. Very interesting room.

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12 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

What's that music device thing in that right corner? Also, this looks like an office at a clinic lol. Very interesting room.

Haha! Sorry, I was very sleepy that night. I originally planned to at least describe my "office." I updated that day's entry. 😅 The music device in the right corner (on the top of the rack) is an audio interface or mixer. It's where you plug in microphones and audio players. All of that sound input will be sent to the amplifiers (the devices in the rack) then finally to the speakers.
HAHA! It looks like clinic maybe because of the white paint. 😂 Thanks for appreciating my "sanctuary," @BooksandTrees

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 60 days clean!  Can't believe it's been two months.  Testing out the features of this editor.  Cool! 😎

Summary of my 2nd month of game detoxification:

  • I almost relapsed. The main reason why I almost gave up was basically I forgot why I wanted to quit in the first place. At that time of confusion, all that matters is my "happiness." I'm really glad I hadn't hit the "play" button of World of Warcraft; I've sold my account too, which is really good because I don't have that temptation to download and play it again. Thinking about all the hours I have to spend in order to regain my "account status" is stomach-turning. It's great that I now see it like that—in the world of MMO. My triggers on thinking about relapsing is whenever my feelings are extremely hurt—betrayal, being neglected, and self-pity. It's funny that I make everything complicated when in reality, there's only one thing that keeps me together: be a better person.
  • I finally figured out my "framework." Hopefully, I'd stick to it until the next chapter of my life. I won't strictly follow this routine everyday since there will be days, as we all know and experienced, that there are unexpected events. I mean, at least for now, I have an outline of what should I do. Not like before, I'll just look for something that I wanted to do for the day—leave it when I don't want to continue. Thanks for the idea of writing out the plan for each day in this journal. It helped me to formulate my framework. Now, in terms of tasks, at least, I've found a direction. Sometimes, I feel unmotivated to do these stuff. But, I see to it that I come back when I'm feeling great again and continue where I left.
    On my day off, that is, when our home is not rented for events or I'm not going out to be somewhere, I'd be following this routine and will concentrate to prosper in these areas since these things mean so much to me at this moment:
    1. Stock Trading - This is what I'll be doing every morning. I want to be a profitable trader. I'm intrigued by the lifestyle of a trader. Thus, I'll do my best to succeed in this career.
    2. Math Business / Other hobby - After lunch, that is the time to work with my Math career. I want to establish a "math review center" here—not a formal one, more like a casual learning session. 
    3. Events Place Business - At night, this is what I'll develop. This includes the chicken business that my father really wants, which I also want now for some odd reason. Haha!
  • Mindset. This is what I must develop on the last month of my detoxification. I'm confident to say that my mindset changed a little—to a better one. I've read from one of the stock books that "Mindset is what differ winners from losers." I've specifically remembered that quote when I've relapsed into smoking last week. I don't want to keep blaming myself for smoking again. It will just stress me out. What I did was to accept that I relapsed in smoking, throw it away, move on, think of new ways how to deal with that kind of temptation next time, and shall hold to my commitment of not to smoke ever again. Likewise, in gaming, as of now, I feel like "Damn, only 30 days left and I can play DotA again." I need to not think about my "rewards" after "sacrificing too much"—I'm still working on this. Haha. Above all, I'm extremely happy that I've been more conscious of my actions and thoughts; not like before, my mind was clouded by gaming thoughts and I had no time to think about reality.

------------------------------------------

TLDR - 2nd Month Game FREE

  • I've discovered and will try to understand more about my triggers to relapse. One solution I found was to keep in mind that "I want to be better." 💯
  • I've established my daily routine with the help of writing my goals, for tomorrow, every day. I thank this journal and its readers! ❤️
  • I've started to change my "loser" mindset to a "winner" one—will dive deeper more about this aspect next month. 👍

Thank you very much Game Quitters community. Looking forward for my last month. Good luck to me, and to all of you. 😄

------------------------------------------
PS. I suck at color combination / design / anything about visual arts. 😅

Enjoy the evening! 😄

After all, it's just another regular day.
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 60]


Yeah congratulations on sixty days. I'd think carefully about if you want to try moderation or not after 90. I and others tried moderating after 90 only to find that moderation was not possible. Then you have to start at day 1 again like I did. 

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@Reza Thanks! I hope you are doing good as well. Glad that you're into studying programming more and more.😄👍

@Erik2.0 Yeah man, I'm still thinking about it. As of now, I want to play, but, I don't know when to play it in a day. Will I play in the morning while having morning cup before I start working, or after lunch before going back to work, or in the evening after dinner or before going to sleep, or just play it at these times? It's kind of hassle thinking about it and I know what it would lead me to—same old, same old. Moreover, I'm still not confident that I can do "moderation." I hope it's just a craving. Thanks for sharing, I just realized all of this because you mentioned that it was impossible. 😅 

---------------------------------

Remaining Days: 29 days (July 13, 2020 - Monday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I'm not a fan of travelling a lot. It's probably mainly because I wanted to stay at home to play—before. There had been a lot of family outings (with relatives) when I was a teenager. I think I've joined them twice or thrice only. But now, since I'm not  a gamer anymore (whew), travelling starts to be more interesting for me. Well, not now because of the virus. 😅 But at least in the future, I have something to look forward. Me and my girlfriend had our first beach last December 2019—still playing video games at that time. It was fantastic! I would never forget that vacation. While on our way to the island, it felt like I was reborn. Our next trip is on January 2021—booked before the pandemic. I hope that by that time the virus is gone or has cure. 🤞 Of course, we won't proceed if there's still infection. 😄

Feels Today:

  • I feel okay and refreshed. However, I feel quite exhausted from being productive. Thus, I've watched a movie last night, a local film in Netflix, titled Sid & Aya (Not a love story). It was very nice. I liked it. Watching movies or series is actually my "break time"—now that gaming is gone. 😂
  • I need to refuel my momentum. This had been my problem since I quit gaming. I don't have a recharge station. Or is it just in my mind? I still don't know. I'll figure it out in my last month of detoxification. It's probable that I'm reasoning this out just to play DotA after the detoxification.

Daily Quest:

  • Last Saturday, I just did my cousin's website. I've added some details—the ones they requested—and tried out new plugins. This website building is still kind of new to me but I'm willing to learn it little by little. Most likely, I won't be focusing to sell websites to everybody, only for selected people or organization since I'm still no good in developing. If I could make website quickly and nicely, why not? But at this moment, I'm changing the original plan to sell website since it will take a while to learn everything  about creating websites given that I have multiple things to develop on my other hand. What's nice with this sideline is that it makes my mind wander to a different place from time to time. Oh yeah, our meeting was postponed. Her husband doesn't feel well. At least I got some time to develop it nicely. 😄 Hope he is okay.
  • Yesterday, Sunday, I procrastinated the whole afternoon. I just watched music videos of my favorite bands in Youtube. Printed the flier my brother made and it's very nice! My parents were happy about our new flier and new terms & conditions of venue rental (contract). Thanks to my siblings' help and to my girlfriend's editing skills. 😄 I didn't do much yesterday. I celebrated the fact that I am 60 days gaming-free. I needed a break too. 😂
  • Also, yesterday I've started to make a presentation for clients that will inquire about our venue personally. I thought it would be "more professional" if we have slides to present our home and the packages they can avail. I'm starting to like canva a lot. I'll be using it for sure. Glad I don't need to study photoshop anymore—at least. All I need for the business is, you know, basic "presentations / "z @18"/ "x & y nuptial" / "x's 1st birthday"," something like to be the background in the TV. 😄
  • This afternoon, we'll have a tutor session so I'll be doing the exponent modules. I'll try to finish it. It's easy to type. The hard part in explaining mathematical concepts in a module / book is how can you write it in a way that a noob would understand. That's what takes my time in writing a math module.
  • Later after dinner, I'll continue to make the presentation for the venue. It was supposed to be finished yesterday. Now I'm late for my weekly schedule for the business. This week is actually for fixing the "finance and registration sheets." I think I'll make it on google sheets now instead of excel. It's quite nice to access the forms and stuff anywhere, especially for me, I'm the only one who "runs" this business. Soloprenuer. Jeez...
  • Also, I'll do the AVP. Every event, we have a logo shown in the TV—just a "background." Now, what I want is to actually have a 3 slides for the background: A 5-min slide for "x & y's nuptial," then I guess a 2-min slide for our venue's logo, then a 1-min slide for "request a song." HAHA! All they have to do is to like our facebook page (which leads to more market) and message us their request. I don't know, I'm still thinking how to do it simply. 😂

Quest Log:

  • ✔️ Edited my cousin's website, there are lot of things I can improve though, I need more time to learn about plugins

  •  I haven't finished my tasks for the events place business; last week should have been for advertisement and marketing improvements, I'll be continuing to do it tonight.

  •  ✔️ Workout and watered the indoor plants  😂


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, guidelines for new normal in our event's place, exponents module,

Picture Picture

A panoramic view of our fucntion hall. It's actually an L-shaped space. It was originally designed to be our living room. 😅 On the left side, it's where the stage is always setup. In the middle is where the AVPs are shown—where "request a song" will show up as mentioned above. At the right side is the stairs to the second floor—where the rooms at—and the entrance to my "office." The colorful lights are "addons." 😂
2109500558_PanoramicView.thumb.jpg.11ecade522f431c1c91e187babc71b7c.jpg

How Can I Be Better?
To write quickly here. It took me 2 hours writing this entry because, you know, there are lot of breaks in between. One of my weakness is I get distracted easily. I need to improve this. I still have 1 month to start developing a cure for this unfocused mind.

----------------------------------

Good afternoon! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 61]

Well...moderation isn't impossible for everyone. Just me and the few other people I've seen on here who said the same thing. Yeah I'm not ever going back to gaming. I'm just not able to. You'll know for yourself I hope. Interesting you rent out your house for events. My mom has a building she does the same with. No business until the virus clears up more though. Do you have trouble kicking people out when their time's up?

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 62]

@Erik2.0 Nice! Is your building rented by companies or offices? Or, like a transient / apartments? Yes, our family don't plan to live here anytime soon. So for the meantime, it's for rent. Hence, my original job is to be the "caretaker." Then, it evolved. Haha! I was so happy before—not knowing the hardship of being in a business—because I can just play the whole day while waiting for customers to inquire or an event to happen. Haha.

Indeed, it's really scary to accept bookings at this time. However, I need to at least have an income to pay the bills. So, I accepted two weddings at the end of this month. It's an intimate wedding, only the immediate families of the bride and the groom and some close relatives will attend. After all, everybody is scared from the virus as well. Mass gatherings are also not allowed except for essential religious events, and only 50% of total capacity of the venue is allowed. Meaning, we can only accept at most 50 pax, including me. But I made it around 40 only so that it won't be crowded. It's still too scary. If only I had another way to earn money—at this moment in time, I'd rather not accept events. 😅

For the people, usually the friends of the client, who don't want to go home and continue partying, I just charge the client for each succeeding hour. Hahaha! But, it rarely happens.

---------------------------------

Remaining Days: 28 days (July 14, 2020 - Tuesday)

Quick Fact About Me:

My only perfect grade in college was my PE 2 - table tennis. Even though I'm a newbie in table tennis, I got a perfect grade because my professor was so kind and me and my friend were staying for an extra hour after each (summer) class to play more table tennis. It's a very nice sport and real tiring. I though at first that it's easy because it's a smaller version of tennis, but I was wrong. HAHA. My other PE classes are PE 1 - lecture (it was required to take), PE 2 - dance sports (something like an introduction for so you think you can dance, but I only learned cha-cha lmao!!), and PE 2 - Philippine Games (traditional games of my country). In my alma mater, we can choose whatever PE class is available and we're required to take 4 PE classes. 😁

Feels Today:

  • Yesterday, I felt very lazy. I admit and I'm sorry for myself.
  • Today, I feel I have a lot to do. Thanks to this quora answer, it pulled my mind back on track.
  • I feel like I still don't know my partner for some reason. In August, we'll hit the 2-year mark. Nothing special. It's just that my past relationships were at most 2 years. HAHA! My college friends had this joke that it was "my curse." 😅 I hope my lady will "break this curse." 😂 

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll be doing everything that I should have done yesterday. I'll skip studying stock trading today though. 
  • Later, if ever I finished my tasks, I'll take a deeper look at elementor—the web page creator, as far as I know. I've tested it last time and it seems quite easy to make a web page using that plugin. 

Quest Log:

  •  My nephew didn't arrive. I think he forgot our session. I wasn't able to do the module. Haha!

  •  I didn't finish the presentation...

  •   And, I haven't done the AVP as well....

  • ✔️ increased my workout "counts" 😂 and will water the plants after this


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, guidelines for new normal in our event's place

Picture Picture:
5.thumb.jpg.9a8972caa51c71bdb4a61fda2d56b34e.jpg

My 5-month old secondhand bike. 🤣 I decided to buy one since (it's classic to look at—for me) I'm going home everyday to my parent's house to eat with them. Instead of walking or driving, it's nice to use a bike. At the same time, I'm able to "exercise." However, more often than not, I'm still using the car even if it's just few meters away. I'm too lazy, my bad. It's too hot outside and stray dogs might bite me! Yeah, yeah. Too much excuses. I'll just use the bike starting today—if it's not raining—to save gas (and money) and to have some extra "workout." I chose not to get a standard size bike since it's a bit out of budget and my only purpose is to go home—before, for me to be able to buy cigarettes easily—to my parents house which is 2 blocks away.

Oh yeah, I posted this bike on our "local eBay." If someone bought it at my price, why not? 😂 If it's not sold, I'm okay with it since I'm using it anyway. 🤣

How Can I Be Better?
To keep pushing myself after reaching every limit. Push with moderation.  😂

----------------------------------

Good morning! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

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My mom owns a huge building that she rents to people for events. It's generally empty except for a guy who goes there and works on the building. That's smart with the charging people for staying late. And I'm glad it doesn't happen often. The mirrors on that bike are sweet. Also it has like every accessory you can get haha. That's great. Good luck making it to three years with your girlfriend. You can do it.

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 63]

Thanks, @Erik2.0! Glad you're doing some exercise as well. 😄 

---------------------------------

Remaining Days: 27 days (July 15, 2020 - Wednesday)

Quick Fact About Me:

I wished I finished my masters degree. After I graduated from college, I immediately enrolled in MS Applied Mathematics. But, I wasn't able to finish the 1st semester. I don't know, I became unsure and had no motivation to study anymore. I felt exhausted of studying that time. It seems like Mathematics isn't for me anymore. Now, I'm wishing I had finished it because: 1) little did I know that having a masters degree will put you in an advantage on applying a work, 2) the satisfaction of self-fulfilment, and 3) your credentials will go way way higher compared to a bachelors degree. I'm not sure about the benefits that I said but that's how I understood it. It's quite ironic that before, I had all the resources to study, I didn't want to; now, time does not permit anymore, I want to study again. 😅

Feels Today:

  • Yesterday, I felt very lazy AGAIN. Oh my God...
  • I feel unproductive because I've been procrastinating for 2 days.
  • I need to cut some time from writing here. Or, I'll just write whatever I think. I have the tendency to, you know, I'm not best in speaking in English so, I check my grammar, construct my thoughts, etc, etc. So what will I do is just let it all out to save time!
  • I feel that I'm financially helpless. Earning money is very stressful. I know that money is not everything; but, at least, I need to be secured. For 3 yrs, all of the business' income was deposited in a bank account, under my name, but I never withdraw anything. My parents never allowed me too. I think it's good they're controlling me financially because I might have spent it to some things. On the other hand, I think they should be willing to take, at least, a little risk when it comes to investing. They like saving more than investing. I might be wrong, I might be right. 
  • My speakers had some humming sound. I'll try to take it to the repair man today. After googling, maybe the capacitor's broken.

Daily Quest:

  • Yesterday, I haven't done anything. HAHA. 🤣 I went home twice to help prepare lunch and dinner.
  • Yesterday, I had an instant appointment to the nearby dentist. And guess what, I need to have a dental surgery. My upper right wisdom tooth broke a couple of weeks ago, starts to decay, and needs to be pulled out before it complicates. It broke after I bit so hard because of a bad dream. How scary is that nightmare? 😅 So yeah... I don't like going to the dentist at all. Glad I don't smoke anymore because cleaning a smoker's tooth will take a while.
  • I tried to do the exponents module last night but I was so bored and sleepy and so I decided to sleep early. I woke up at 4am today.
  • Today, I'll try to do all my pending tasks yesterday.
  • Later in the afternoon, if the clinic replied to my text, I'll go and get an x-ray of my teeth. 🤣
  • Starting tomorrow, I'll limit my writing to 30 mins.

Quest Log:

  •  Didn't do my tasks

  • ✔️ workout and watered the plants


Incomplete Quest:
make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, guidelines for new normal in our event's place

Picture Picture:
21728325_1649248748428145_6433478352196525138_n.thumb.jpg.a2c2e7c78374889fc671edd789effe45.jpg

Chiliflavor as Thor, son of Odin! Haha! This was my costume on our yearly halloween party with my cousins. This photo was taken on October 2012. I didn't win with this costume but it was my nicest one! It's just an illustration board, felt paper for the gray patches in the armor and hammer, some styrofoam for the hammer, a red cloth for cape, my combat boots back in high school COCC, and my semi long hair. 😅 Now you see me! 🤣 We don't have Halloween parties anymore like before. The head of "cousins group," who started the halloween parties moved to Germany with her husband. She's the one who asked me to make her husband's company website. 😄 

How Can I Be Better?
To keep focused and be efficient in what I'm currently doing!

----------------------------------

Good morning! 😄

Til tomorrow,
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 90 COMPLETED]

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