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NEW VIDEO: A Wasted Time (The Truth About Gaming)

Learn it the hot way. [Day 90 COMPLETED]


chiliflavor
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20 hours ago, Kuymak said:

Hey Chili,
You seems to be really engaged in your new activitys. Well done. Keep it up.

I wish you the best.

Hey @Kuymak!

Thanks for reading! 😁 I'm trying my best to fill my head with lots of stuff to stay away from thinking about reinstalling games. HAHA.

Same to you—wishing you the best! 👍

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Remaining Days: 74 days (May 28, 2020 - Thursday)

Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 3

Quick Fact About Me:

The first MMORPG that ate me alive was Runescape. I was 9 years old back then and our internet connection at that time was a dial-up. Killing cows to get cowhides to sell at Varrock as well as exploring (and running lmao) Wilderness seems like just yesterday. 😄

My mother buys this ISP Bonanza card that costs at least $2 for a 6-hour internet connection—if I remember it correctly. It was also the first time that I learned about the internet because of my good old friend who invited me to play during our "free day" in our computer class. Along with Miniclip's mini-games, I became knowledgeable around computers—at a young age—because of accessing these games. As I grew up, so is my hunger for new kind of games.

Fast forward 16 years later, I'm here writing about my day because I need to be preoccupied since I'm undergoing a rehabilitation due to video games. 😂 

How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?:

  • Today, I haven't completed my tasks which saddens me a bit. More like disappointed why can't I finish my tasks everyday? Is my daily goals unrealistic? I really think I'm just easily distracted. Before, when I play games, my focus is extreme. Now, it seems like my attention is like a child. 😂 I hope my focus will improve as I come close to my 1 month game-free.
  • I woke up around 10:00 AM again and made coffee like usual. Then, I went to my parent's house to had lunch with our family then back again here at our events place.
  • I continued doing the contract for our events place. Unfortunately, throughout the day, I was only able to write one section. 😓
  • I was so distracted with Facebook groups and Facebook Watch (vlogs and some short clips of gaming). Thus, I unfollowed everything in Facebook. I can't deactivate since I need to update our business' Facebook page on a weekly basis, need to share my vlogs/blogs in the future, and I'm using messenger almost all day. Hmm. That's nice to realize, that is, chatting consumes too much of my time. I'll reduce it and stay focused on what I'm doing.  
  • I went home (parent's house) to have a nice dinner and talk with my family and went back at my sanctuary (events place).
  • I miss analyzing stock charts. I'll be back to it on Monday.
  • I have a lot to do starting tomorrow until June 1 since the Enhanced Community Quarantine will be lifted and Philippines (most regions) will shift to General Community Quarantine. This means that our events place business can now operate but we have to follow the guideline that we should only allow gatherings with few guests. To be exact, we can only accept 50% of our venue's capacity. Hence, I have to make the guidelines, social distancing etc etc.. Damn.. However, I'm very concerned about our safety because the virus is still out there. Maybe I'll just hold the acceptance of reservations til 2nd week of June because I want to know if the infection rate actually decreases. After all, life is more important than profit—unless maybe I don't have money for food.

Daily Quest Checker:

  •  Contract not done yet. This is longer than I thought. It could take a while.
  • ✔️ Sent an assignment to my nephew
  • ✔️ Made an outline for (the vlog) the week; I wasn't able to do the images though
  • ✔️ Bits of workout
  • Wasn't able to read 2nd interview of market wizards
  • ✔️ Yes, even though it's past 12 midnight here, I chose to write in the journal and sleep right away because I realized that I am able to do a lot of things when I wake up early in the morning. Waking up around 9:00 AM or 10:00 AM is actually a little bit late. LMAO, when I was gaming 9:00 - 10:00 AM is my sleeping time. 😂

Quests For Tomorrow:

  • Continue doing the contract
  • Read the next interview in the market wizards
  • Change the guitar's strings

Weekly Quest (Update):

  • Tomorrow, I'll make the images that I'll be using for the math vlog about area. 😁
  • Workout 

How can I become better?:
I'll try setting few daily goals first. Probably 2-3 things only. Then I'll add one by one after my mind knows how to actually complete daily quests. It's just depressing to see that I haven't finished the tasks I've assigned to myself. 😂

 

Good night!

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Respectfully yours,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 73 days (May 29, 2020 - Friday)

Good day! No details for today, sorry. I will update as soon as I had a nice time to write—most likely Sunday! 😁
What's important is that I didn't play any game today! 🤣
 

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Take care guys and gals,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 70 days (May 29, 2020 to June 1, 2020 : Friday to Monday)

Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 2

Quick Fact About Me:

I feel like I have Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease or "GERD." I don't know much about it but after googling, it's something like the acid from my stomach goes up which causes the burning sensation in the mid-abdomen, chest, and throat. Luckily, I haven't experienced extreme acid reflux.

Most probably, my guess is, this developed (I'm no medical expert, hence, correct me if I'm wrong please!) because of my "ordinary habit." I read that if the acid went up from the stomach, it could injure the esophageal tissue over time. My ordinary habits (since highschool) which highly contributed to this GERD things were:

  1. 🌶️ always choosing spicy food if possible; even if I'm just having egg and rice for breakfast, I'd sprinkle it with chili flakes or would slice a chili pepper; spicy noodles, spicy sauce, etc. That's where my online username came from, from a flavor of an instant noodle—chiliflavor.
  2.  two to three cups of coffee a day. first cup in the morning, second cup 1 - 2 hrs after lunch, third cup right after dinner; and sometimes if I'm playing all night, I'll have another cup between 1 to 4 am.
  3. 🚬 smoking for 10 yrs

I'm not sure if I'm right. Again, I'm no medical expert. 😂 Now, I'm drinking only decaffeinated coffee just to feed my psychological hunger of "having coffee" and I'm refraining to drink beer—which is really sad. I hate to think that I can't drink with my friends anymore because of this. I hope this GERD would go away. After all, it's not yet confirmed by a doctor. 🤣 Sometimes, I Google too much. Haha! I would definitely see a doctor after this pandemic. It's really scary to go out nowadays due to Covid-19.

How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today (these past few days)?:

  • I became very busy because of the vlog. That's all I did last weekend. 😆 I shoot the video, edited, went to sleep, eat, had coffee, edited, .... , until I uploaded it to my YouTube channel. It was my entry for Investagrams contest regarding my experience of using their platform—gaming platform. Yes, I did play games! HAHA! The winner of the contest is the video who has the most likes. Sadly, I uploaded 1.5 hrs before the deadline HAHA! No time to ask for likes. It's okay anyway, I just like to share my thoughts through vlogging. 🤣
  • BUT, it was a game about stocks. I explained how to play it, how to trade stocks, and what are the basics of technical analysis in the vlog. I really want to share it to you guys but it's in Filipino language. 😞 I'm not that fluent speaking in English. If it's written communication, I'm fine with it. 😂
  • Technically, I played a game. But it's about gaining the highest profit. Haha! This is the best thing I've discovered so far!!! I can play a game while practicing to trade stocks! It's so silly, they put casual and ranked games HAHA. I'm currently at "Trainee" rank. To progress to the highest rank, I need to win most of the time which means I need to gain more profit than my opponent on a 60 or 120-day challenge. Not literally 60 days or 120 days because you will actually click the "next day."  😂 You can trade stocks virtually on Investagrams too, like in eToro. Investagrams is a local company which focuses on stock trading. Reading this bullet feels like I'm endorsing their company. Unfortunately, I'm not paid for this ads. Haha!
  • That's basically what I did from Friday to Sunday. 😅
  • What I don't like when it comes to this vlog thing is that I wanted it to be done right away. Thus, this results in extreme focus which results to not being able to do other stuff than editing; like, I wasn't able to write on the journal or do other stuff. There are times when I feel like I'm too passionate about something while some times are just, you know, "go ahead, I don't mind at all." 😅
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  • Today, Monday, I had two accomplishments:
  1. First, my nephew, who was like 2-3 yrs behind of his math skills, actually legitimately learned how to deal with fractions. I'm so glad because of this! We have been dealing with fractions for two and a half week. Now, we can move forward to next topics. He's much interested in learning now because of his achievement. 😁\
  2. My lady and I talked about our possible business venture. One of the reasons why I like her is because she's so frank and speaks firmly. The total opposite of me being indecisive. 😂 I'm not sure if being business partners is best for our relationship because sometimes, on rare instances, business breaks family/relationship. What do you think? Or it depends how you guys handled it? 🤔
    ------------------------------------------------
  • In the past few days, I haven't thought about games at all—until the moment I went back here. I was wondering why on this specific moment did I think about playing games. For a moment, I thought about why should I go back and write here if it makes me remember games. Then I realized, it's actually making me stronger, that is, to face my urges and to train myself that when I hear/think about games, I can eventually say, "I loved playing but I don't want to play anymore." (I have the stock trading game anyway HAHA)

Daily Quest Checker:

  •  wasn't able to make quests because of my inability to manage time while on the hype of editing the latest episode in my vlog 😂

Quests For Tomorrow:

  • Resume doing the contract. Finish the draft please
  • Read the next interview in the market wizards
  • Change the guitar's strings

Weekly Quest (Update):

  • Tuesday is break time in vlogging
  • Workout (I need to make a better strategy to attack this activity  😄)

How can I become better?:
By not exhausting myself too much after a series of work and achieving my goals on my own pace. After all, what really matters to me now is that I'm doing my best—almost all day. Almost only, because there's always a time of the day when we are very tired of this life.  😂 

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Thanks for reading this long entry. 👌


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Sincerely yours,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 69 days (June 2, 2020 - Tuesday)

Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 1

Quick Fact About Me:

In my first (and last) job—before I ventured as a businessman, I was a software engineer. I worked at a company for around 1 year and 1 month. Even though my contract is for 3 years, I left the company and didn't pay any bond. I literally didn't go to work at all. It started with few absences like twice a month, four times a month, eight times a month until our human resource department was just counting the days I went to work because it's easier to count. 🤣  We were developing website applications and I'm a back-end guy, that is, my team lead doesn't put me on front-end development (user interface of the website / design) because I suck at it. Haha!

Back then, I had a lot of vices like smoking and a little drinking, broke up with my ex-girlfriend, had limited resources in terms of money, quarter life crisis, existential crisis, and put all other applicable reasons for my past life. 😅 But the most significant reason why I wasn't able to go to work was because at that time, I started playing World of Warcraft. And as we all experienced, it's the end of real life. 😂

I love being a developer. I honestly think that I was just lost with what I really want at that time. I wanted to become a game developer. But in my free time in the office—I finish my tasks right away—I procrastinated instead of learning game programming. Now, I'm planning to go back to coding—bought a coding course in Udemy—but this time, it's for the business. 😁 I really want to go back playing games and associate everything in my life (and work) to it (e.g. streaming, vlogging, developing games, being a customer support / GM, or any job related to gaming) but I can't control it. It's my #1 vice. Smoking was just 2nd. I can't go back to those two things because I would be there, at the starting point, again. 🙂

How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?:

  • Today, I haven't completed my tasks. I just hanged out in social media which is very bad. 😂 This is procrastination. Now I'm just starting my day by writing on this journal which should be the last thing I must do on a day. After this I'd be continuing the contract I'm making. Probably.
  • I feel disappointed because I broke my daily routines just because I wanted to finish one task—the vlog episode. Even though I'm very pumped up while editing and after uploading the video, it seems like it's not normal to spend 2 whole days editing. Clearly, still, my time management is not that good. 😁 I should work more about this. Several days, my sleep pattern and routine is okay. Then instantly, my daily routine was wrecked because of doing an unplanned task. I should learn to stick to the plan and not be carried away by the hype. It's really hard to follow a set of life rules and do what you actually want in the moment. Jeez, what am I talking about. I think I need to sleep instead of writing. But I just had coffee. Haha. See. This ain't good, I guess. Wanting to sleep but just drank coffee is certainly a contradiction. It means, my goals and motivation are not aligned. At least now, I figured it out—literally just right now. (update: BLAH BLAH BLAH. I think what I said here doesn't matter. I just wanted to rant that I was not productive today. I like speaking in a nice way always. Haha.)
  • When this procrastination happen again, I'll always remember to be more aware of the present and my actual goals rather than day dreaming the future or thinking about the past.
  • Well today, I went to some agency to request a new driver's license since I lost my wallet 2 months ago.  😅 We had a nice lunch and dinner with my family and that's it. That was my day. I spent the day socializing in facebook. Maybe that counts for productivity, that is, speaking with old friends. 😂
  • To summarize, today was a nice day but i was not productive. 

Daily Quest Checker:

       DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TODAY. Bad day in terms of productivity.

Quests For Tomorrow:

  • Exam for my nephew
  • Finish the first draft of the contract. That's it. So I can Move on.

Weekly Quest (Update):

  • Wednesday is about conceptualization of a new blog. This time, I'd be doing how to compute the area of a square and how to find its sides using its area. That's it, a 2-4 minute video I guess. It's for the kids. 😄 
  • ✔️ Workout (only a bit)

How can I become better?:
By not thinking  too much. I need to relax my mind to clear the "fog." 😅

 

Good night!

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Respectfully yours,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 64 days (June 8, 2020 - Monday)

Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 1

Quick Fact About Me:

I was a 10-year smoker of cigarette. I was a 5-year smoker of *insert something here.* Haha! Yes, that's censored here in PH. ☠️

My peak days of gaming was when I'm in my "other universe." It was soooooo great. Every critical numbers from my damage, doing /mountspecial, smashing everything in front of me (you know, warrior feels 😅), talking nonsense in trade chat, somewhat like I was really in the game... Everything was so different. For me, smoking it brought my gaming experience to the next level as well as my perspective in life. There a was a time that I stopped for a while because I don't enjoy playing without being "in the other universe." 😂 There were so many ideas at that time—one of it was our events place business—like jobs, wants, plans, and much more nonsense things. Long story short, I became addicted to it.

Well, as we all know, everything must come to an end—mostly everything. I stopped consuming those kinds of smoke mainly because I can't literally do anything productive at all. It was fun when I was, you know, "having fun with my life." Now's different... I want to be better. That kind addiction was the first uncontrollable thing I eliminated in my life. Smoking cigar was the second. And now, it's gaming's turn.

Yeah, this is actually my 3rd "self-rehabilitation." 🙂

How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?:

  • What's up guys and gals! It's been almost a week since I wrote here. I'm very sorry to my journal because I broke the commitment of writing here everyday. It's just that, somehow, I felt tired of writing here because I got frustrated that I wasn't able to achieve my daily goals. I had to take a break which is real good since it refreshed my mind. Hence, I shut everything down (social media, group chats, any other non beneficial activities in my life) last week in order to keep my focus in finishing my one quest: the terms and condition of our events place. Luckily, it's now finished!
  • Since my daily entries here really takes some time from me, I'll try this routine instead—writing in the morning. I wasn't able to write last week because I was just too tired, lazy and sleepy at night; also, I want to go to sleep right away which what really matters to me now, that is, my sleeping pattern. I want to write "medium to long" entries because in this way, I can know myself better.
  • There's nothing really significant that had happened in the past few days. I just did the following:
    1) PH shifted to general community quarantine; establishments were opened and so I was able to report my lost driver's license
    2) workout for a little each day
    3) finished the contract of our business; I made it from scratch lmao, I just googled some examples and outlined our own terms and conditions; feels good to create such formal document; this will be effective once we change our rate after this pandemic
    4) celebrated my grandmother's 88th birthday with my relatives
  • In the past few days, I don't feel like gaming at all. It's probably because I was so distracted with the contract thing. But I hope that my disinterest in gaming is because of the detox. I'll figure it out later.

Quests For Today:

  • Update the journal's template (choice of words) because I'll be writing in the morning while having my drink instead of writing before going to bed; I need to reformat it since the template was written in the setting of writing at night. 😁
  • Continue cleaning the house—was cleaning before I start writing here; it's because a guest will do an ocular visit—our business is now "open" but with real caution due to covid-19. I put quotation mark on open because the guest was referred by one of our acquaintances. That's why it's somewhat rude to deny them of our service. LMAO. To be really honest, I also need an income. 😂
  • Today, I'll see what's easier to do next for the development of the business. I'll do easy tasks this time since I need to prepare for next week's competition.
  • I need to study for the stock trading competition—using virtual account only—which will start at June 15 and will end at July 17. 😂 

How can I become better?:
1) By always taking things easy and do it right away to avoid, as much as possible, the sense of urgency—like how I used to do things before. It's much easier that way. I've been happier when there is no pressure in my life. Even though we need pressure in our life to be better, I like to minimize mine because often times it's when under pressured that we make bad decisions in life.
2) I need to keep focusing but not being too hard to myself. Continue to be responsible, that is, continue maintaining the cleanliness of this bedroom/office, kitchen and bathroom, car, PC and my body lmao. 😂
 

Good morning!
PS. Happy birthday to my mother! And to my "childhood sweetheart," Ms. Right! ❤️

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Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 63 days (June 9, 2020 - Tuesday)

Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 4 - 2

Quick Fact About Me:
I used to study a lot when I was a kid because of two things: 1) I can play more hours with my playstation and 2) My mom would buy me new PS1 games. It was my motivation since then. I'm glad that I quit. Now, instead of playing games while having my morning cup, I'm here reflecting about what my day will be, myself and my goals. 😄

How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?:

  • Okay, I just realized I have to change this section because it's in a form of past tense writing. 😅 Hmm.. What I'll do probably is to come back here after dinner and write about what happened on my day. I'll think about this today.

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll be reassessing our new rate for the events place rental whether it's affordable and reasonable. I've decided to make an increase because I'd like to maximize my income. And besides, we were the only events place venue who offered a venue (good for 100 pax) for celebrations with high quality sound system, with DJ and karaoke, TV for AVPS with basic LED lights for the center stage and, most especially according to our previous guests, nice room accommodations. 🤣 Our current rate is actually almost half of the price of our competitors WITHOUT the other stuff that I mentioned; they only offered the space itself—the function hall. Thus, I'd like to be on the same price range as they were while offering more amenities so that we'll receive more bookings. 🤑 
  • Today, I will continue reading Market Wizards by Jack Schwager. It's really entertaining. It's my first time to read this kind of book—interview style. I'm not a reader, that's why. 😅
  • I will update the How Do I Feel & What Did I do Today? section since it's not appropriate when I'm writing in the morning. 😄
  • I will conceptualize and most probably make images from paint for my vlog. I need to upload something about Math again. Haha. What I have in mind is just a simple how to compute the area of a square (given the sides) and how to compute the sides of a square (given the area). 🤣

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Updated the journal's template
  •  ✔️ Cleaned the house (visible parts haha). Moreover, I got the client; they booked for a simple wedding this June 20, 2020—10 pax only. Hoping that they don't have covid-19 omg. I need to accept this event because I need income as well. 😞 I've had no income since the second half of March.
  •  ✔️  Prioritize what I need to develop in the business
  • ✔️ I continued reading about stock trading. I have to finish the book within this week because the competition will start next week. Or should I just read it when I am truly interested so that I would learn it by heart? 🤣 


Incomplete Quest: (None)

How can I be better?:
By doing what I did when I wake up today—exercise at least. I just did the usual: push ups, sit ups and squats. I need to be more consistent with my routine; avoid activities that could alter my development (of my routine) because it's really hard to get back to "my rhythm" since it's not yet established solidly.


Good morning and have nice day! 😁

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Signing In,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 62 days (June 10, 2020 - Wednesday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I can't watch horror movies alone. Yes, I'm scared like a kid. HAHA!

Morning Feels:

  • I need to speed up the development of the business because time is running, that is, as my goblin heart says, "Time is gold."
  • I need to wrap things up so that I could start my "other projects." 
  • When everything comes back to normal (hopefully), I want to be more efficient, organized and productive.
  • I need to practice delayed-gratification as well—focused on reaching goals not the rewards.
  • Okay, so this section was the last thing I wrote for this entry. I noticed that I only used 2 emoticons. Haha. Let me add one. 😁
  • This could be a serious day. Game face on!!!

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll continue to reassess our new rate for the business
  • I will continue reading Market Wizards by Jack Schwager. It's already Wednesday, the stock trading competition is about to start. I should finished the book if possible.
  • Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving and How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today? don't make sense now since I'm writing in the morning. I don't want to write about What happened yesterday? because I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about what happen yesterday. Okay, let me try this Morning Feels. I should Update the journal about Morning Feels.
  • Make any progress in my "to do list for the business"

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Reassessed the new prospect rate of our services. Haha. My lady told me that it's not a nice time to increase our price (raising after the pandemic is the plan) because we all came out from the pandemic. She told me that it would make me look like greedy. Hmm. For me, it's not like that. I wanted to increase our rate because we were offering more services than our competitors for only 50% of their rate. I need to consult this with the board of directors (my parents, lmao).
  •  Haven't read stock book, damn...
  •  Haven't updated the above sections... Okay, I'll try other ideas.
  • Haven't made anything for the vlog 🤣

Incomplete Quest: 

continue reading stock book, fix the journal's template, make images for the vlog (area of square)

How can I be better?:
By being aware of the present. Less day dreaming, less looking back to the past.

 

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Good morning and have nice day! 😁

Signing In,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 61 days (June 11, 2020 - Thursday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I'm usually having weird dreams—mostly running from something like terrorists, ghosts, or from unknown people/organization. After some googling, I found out that it meant something like I need to escape from a situation, relationship, family, or in any other possible aspect. This is the reason why I don't want to watch horror films, that is, I tend to dream about it and end up being chased by, say, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. What's nice about this weird dreaming pattern is that I know it's only a dream and I can control my actions/decisions. 😂 One of the most epic dreams I had was I can control my "flying abilities"—not fully since I've just "acquired" the skill. 😂 On the other hand, my worst dream was running around a maze—in a form of a house—to find an escape route that wasn't "spectated" or "guarded" by the ones who's chasing me. Very weird, right?

Morning Feels:

  • Yesterday, I had not done much. I just chatted with my cousins—we live on the same village haha—which I think is a legitimate distraction. We chat everyday, sometimes very useful and helpful, but often times just about nonsense.  😂 I should chat less when it's about nonsense and focus on my tasks instead.
  • It seems that my body has healed through my very bad sleeping pattern. I usually wake up around 5:30-7 in the morning since then. At first, I've had a hard time waking up when it was the first days of my quit smoking game. Then after quitting playing games, I didn't have much reason to stay up late—Netflix, YouTube, or Facebook Watch sometimes. Moreover, since then, even though I take naps in the afternoon, I'm still able to sleep around 12-1am and wake up at 5:30-7. Not like before, when I was gaming, if I took a nap in the afternoon, that means I'm recharged to stay all night again until the sky is blue. I'm very happy that somehow, this sleeping pattern got a fix because I've been so stressed about this for almost 5 years—since the day I started playing for real.
  • I hope I could continue to workout every day, before I get out of bed. It's been like 3 straight days (yes, I'm proud of that lmao) that I've been doing sit ups and push ups before I start the day. I should do squats more; my lower body is really thin compared to my upper body. 😅 I'd like to do some running after this pandemic. 

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll make the final price rate of our business
  • I'll go to a local government office to get a new license (hopefully I don't get Covid-19 😞). This process could take my whole day. Here in PH, government offices aren't efficient. 😅
  • I'll continue reading the stock book
  • do something from the "to-do list for business"

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Continued to reassess the new prospect rate of our services. After consulting to board of directors (my parents, lmao), I think it's time for an increase because of mainly 3 things. 1) I wanted to earn more for me to save as well as increase my stock fund, 2) our rate is almost half of what others are charging and 3) lastly, my father retired already from being an architect—my mother was retired already 3 yrs ago since the business started. I didn't tell my parents but I wanted to increase our rate because I know and feel that my father is already tired of working. It's me and my sister's turn to feed the family. My parents had done and still doing their best and I think, as of now, we have to take the legitimate responsibility to take care of them. 😁
  • ✔️ Market Wizards by Jack Schwager: finally read the 2nd interview and holy shit, I really like this book!! I'm so excited to read all of it but I want to read it when I really want to read so that I could internalize it better.
  • ✔️ Journal update, done!
  •  Haven't done any progress in my "to do list for the business" 😂

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), make progress in other areas of business

When curiosity strikes:
Now, I will always wonder what it's like to be a profitable streamer. I'm thinking to get back to gaming and try to earn by streaming. However, whenever I think of my progress here, this streamer idea is suppressed. Furthermore, I'm thinking that if I streamed, holy crap, I need to do unlimited hours of playing again.

 

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Good morning and have nice day! 😁

Signing In,
Chiliflavor

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1 hour ago, chiliflavor said:

I'm usually having weird dreams—mostly running from something like terrorists, ghosts, or from unknown people/organization. After some googling, I found out that it meant something like I need to escape from a situation, relationship, family, or in any other possible aspect. This is the reason why I don't want to watch horror films, that is, I tend to dream about it and end up being chased by, say, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. What's nice about this weird dreaming pattern is that I know it's only a dream and I can control my actions/decisions. 😂 One of the most epic dreams I had was I can control my "flying abilities"—not fully since I've just "acquired" the skill. 😂 On the other hand, my worst dream was running around a maze—in a form of a house—to find an escape route that wasn't "spectated" or "guarded" by the ones who's chasing me. Very weird, right?

That's scary.  I hate having dreams.  I don't typically have dreams / remember them, so when I do it's a rare occurrence.  Usually they are weird or scary, like bees trying to get inside my ears or something.  But when you get good dreams, they are a nice surprise.  I still remember the one and only sex dream I had... It was epic.

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On 6/11/2020 at 8:52 AM, apatton090 said:

That's scary.  I hate having dreams.  I don't typically have dreams / remember them, so when I do it's a rare occurrence.  Usually they are weird or scary, like bees trying to get inside my ears or something.  But when you get good dreams, they are a nice surprise.  I still remember the one and only sex dream I had... It was epic.

Hahaha! That's scary and epic as well! Jeez, because you mentioned, I remember my one and only sex dream too. I almost forgot about her! Okay brb, adding her on Facebook. HAHA

update: Abort mission—can't remember her name. 😂

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30 DAYS COMPLETED: First Monthsary of No Games After 20 Years! (June 12, 2020 - Friday)

Today is Philippines Independence Day. Maligayang araw ng kasarinlan, mga kababayan kong Pilipino! 
And, it's been a month since I quit games—what a coincidence! 😎

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After 20 years of playing, this is the longest streak I have ever had. Since I was 5 yrs. old, I always see to it that I'm able to play any game each day on whatever available platform. Starting from playstation 1, gameboy color, gameboy advance, mobile phone, PC, gameboy sp, playstation 2, web games, back to PC and mobile games again until last month, I never had a long break when it comes to gaming. I didn't know where and how to stop; most importantly, why the hell would I stop. 

But now, I was surprised that it's been only a month since I quit playing games. It seems longer than the previous months probably because all of my days before were spent playing. So, here's a list of what I've done/learned in the first 30 days of my rehabilitation—game detoxification. These are my significant realizations/accomplishments from not playing any games.

  • I was a video game addict. I fully accepted my addiction and decided to get cured—stop playing games.
  • My sleeping pattern was fixed. I'm sleeping on the "normal" hours of the day which led me to do productive things. My "insomnia" was "cured" because I don't play all night anymore.
  • I became less grumpy and irritable. I rarely feel stressed/anxious/depressed nowadays. Back then, I'm worse. I'm extending the bad vibes acquired from gaming to the people around me. 
  • My caffeine and nicotine cravings also lessened. I don't know if the three are related but to me, they're like triplets—caffeine, nicotine and gaming. I guess it's a psychological thing. Back then, before I start my gaming session, I always start with a coffee and two cigarettes. Cigarettes on break times too—every dungeon, every quest line completed, every thirty to sixty minutes—depending on my busyness in-game. Nicotine is gone, gaming just hit its first monthsary of being gone, then caffeine might say goodbye soon, at 3% existence as of now, because I've been drinking decaffeinated coffee for 29 days already.
  • I was able to focus on studying stock trading. I had more time to actually look and analyze charts. I was able to start reading the books I've bought 6 months ago. Because of quitting games, I had much time to examine my mentality/attitude/discipline/goals which are the most important aspects of trading, which I certainly haven't developed yet. Also, I had more time to develop the business—what does it lack, what needs to be developed or improved, etc. Basically, I had time to really think how can it grow. Moreover, I was able to start vlogging which, hopefully, would entertain and educate someone who's just bored. 😅
  • I started this journal which mainly reminded me of two things: 1) I can't——I won't play games ever again and 2) be productive everyday, "no matter how minuscule," as seriousjay stated. Here's his one year milestone, you can read it here.  I was suppose to write my today's entry earlier this day but I scanned and read the celebrate section of the general discussion instead. 😂 His post made me realize that today's achievement was a product of simple deeds, good choices and loving thyself.
  • Last but not the least, I was able to enjoy the company of real people around me—family, girlfriend, relatives and friends—because I'm not in a hurry anymore to go home and play.

 

The hardest parts of this (first 30 days) detoxification period were the days when I'm being unproductive even though I gave up gaming. It's the feeling of being worthless without games. Those instances almost made me to install games again. What I did is to treat those days as "breaks" from my "momentum" and just take the day-off. I've always believed that sometimes, keeping quiet or doing nothing is better than to mess things up—rarely happens but always effective. 😃

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Thanks for reading guys and gals, specifically for your support on each and everyone's journey. I admit that without readers, I couldn't have done it. 😁👌
Have a nice evening! 😁

Til tomorrow's success & struggle,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 59 days (June 13, 2020 - Saturday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I'm afraid of cockroaches. If you asked me to touch a cockroach, I'd rather touch anything else. 😂

Morning Feels:

  • I slept for 4 hours only. Even though I'm groggy, I did some usual workout—sit ups, push ups, and squats. 1 repetition only lmao. I'll deal with my workout things next time. 😅
  • After I drink this some kind of oatmeal, I'd cook breakfast then will continue reading the stock book. I'm quite pumped up to learn more about trading today. The competition will start on Monday and I'm kinda nervous! That's a good sign, I guess.

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll fix my google drive and upload important business files. 
  • I'll continue reading the market wizards. Prepare my analysis of tradable stocks. Stock trading competition will start on Monday and I want to be fully prepared—more like mentally prepared. That's all I'll be doing today. Focus on trading.

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Just took some rest (from life lmao) and celebrated my 30 days yesterday
  • ✔️ Market Wizards by Jack Schwager: started reading the 3rd interview
  • ✔️ was able to do some progress in my "to do list for the business" 😂

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square)

How can I be better?:
By interacting with other people. I'd like to read stories in general, maybe I'll start here. 🙂

 

----------------------------------
Good morning and have nice day! 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 58 days (June 14, 2020 - Sunday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I always wanted to be a vocalist. Unfortunately, destiny didn't permit it. 😂

Morning Feels:

  • Nice sleep for today. No interruptions, no bio breaks, no dreams at all! Haven't had this for quite a while. 
  • I'm having my morning cup now and I plan to continue studying stocks for the rest of the day because the mini tournament starts tomorrow. 😁 Basically, I'm preparing my trading plan for major/active stocks.
  • Clearly, I was late with my tasks/goals. It's because of my procrastination days hahaha. I have to accept my tardiness and focus more on what's important.
  • My old friend—the one who I played WoW with, messaged and told me that he wanted to play WoW again. Jeez, probably it's the quarantine that made him feel like playing again. Then, we talked about things about WoW and for a moment, I really wanted to play again. It's very nostalgic. I want to ditch my goal here and just install WoW and DotA again haha! 😂 However, as of now, whenever I think of going back to play games again, the number of hours that I would be spending is just too scary. My friend told me that we should just be casual gamers. Well, I'm sorry to tell you but I can't do that, my friend. If I played games again, I'll be failing myself and I don't want that; I want to succeed.

Daily Quest:

  • I'll continue to prepare for tomorrow's competition—virtual trading. I don't even know if my preparation is correct. This competition is overwhelming. It's because this 1-month tournament will be the gauge of how much do I know about stock trading. If this month had a positive gain, it means I'm ready to increase my capital. Otherwise, I won't add funds and go back to trade in small sizes again.

Previous Day Quest Checker

  •  Didn't finish uploading files
  •  Didn't read Market Wizards by Jack Schwager, I'm doing summary of the stocks so that I could pick properly for long-term position

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, continue reading

How can I be better?:
By looking at the end goal and learn the concept of delayed gratification 🙂

 

----------------------------------
Good morning and have nice day! 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 57 days (June 15, 2020 - Monday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I haved acrophobia—fear of heights. 😂 Riding a roller coaster, looking below starting from the 3rd level of a building, or the like, will make my knees weak. I don't know why but I'm really nervous when it comes to high places. Haha! I can't even imagine skydiving. I'd probably pass out as soon as I jump. Hahaha. Nevertheless, I'll try that if I had the chance—maybe skydiving is the cure! 😂 

Morning Feels:

  • This is a quick entry. I'll leave in 30 mins or so to get my license haha!

Daily Quest:

  • Today, I'll be going to the local government office to get my license. Last Friday, we (me and my neighbor) weren't able to get our license because the officer told us that the queue—around 11 AM—was already cut-off. Only in the Philippines. 🙁
  • (Hopefully) If I got home around 12 noon, I'd try to look at nice stocks to buy. Good luck to me for the mini trading cup. 😄 
  • Later in the afternoon, I'd create images for the vlog. Haha. It's already long overdue. 😅 

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Preparation for competition, done! (LOL)

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive

How can I be better?:
By practicing delayed gratification!!

 

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Good morning and may the odds be in our favor😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 56 days (June 16, 2020 - Tuesday)

Quick Fact About Me:
Run out of facts. Hope to think about something tomorrow. 😂

Morning Feels:

  • More like, night feels. I wasn't able to write early in the morning since I woke up around 9am. Rushing to make coffee and turning on the PC, I attempted to day trade for the competition. But, I know that I wasn't ready. Hence, I just planned my entries on other stocks. As of now I'm ranked 1,000th at the competition—0% gain/loss since I haven't used my virtual capital hahaha. Tomorrow, I'll buy if there's a nice setup. 😄
  • I'm glad that I workout again as soon as I woke up. Hope to do that every morning for the rest of my life.

Daily Quest:

  • Okay so clearly, I can't write my daily quest at night. Hmmm. I should redo my template again. It must be flexible, that is, the format should be applicable day or night.
  • Nevertheless, I'll write my day today. Well, I just continued browsing what stocks to buy. I don't want to buy without being sure that the price will go up—unless my instinct with confirmation of technical analysis tellls me to buy it now.
  • My nephew arrived to have his math tutor session. Finally, we're moving to exponents. Fractions and negative/positive integers done after almost 1 month!
  • Now, 11:24 PM, I'm having (decaf) coffee and plan to stay a little late than usual to plan what stock should I buy tomorrow.
  • I'll be cleaning my office too. 😄 

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Got my driver's license. f* finally!
  • ✔️ Browsed stocks. I'm not that prepared, no concrete plans at all
  •  still haven't created blog images 😅

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive

How can I be better?:
by creating a schedule for my activities AND following it 😅

 

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Good night! 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 53 days (June 19, 2020 - Friday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I refrain from getting angry. I don't like to hold grudges at all. I don't like the feeling of hatred—life is uncertain. It's very rare for me to be angry but when I do, it would definitely take a while before I forget.

Morning Feels:

  • It's been three days since I've written here. Things were pretty "busy," I guess. But to be really honest, I just don't feel like writing.
  • I've been thinking to play games again, specifically, WoW and DotA. I'm considering to stop this detoxification thing and do "moderate gaming" with my friend. Maybe that's why I haven't written here for the past three days. It's just really hard that I have no outlets at all. If only I knew how to properly manage my time, I wouldn't have to undergo this rehabilitation. Or, could it be just simply a withdrawal phase? I feel like I can play "moderately." However, when I think about the hours I'll be spending—I know I'd spend a little more time playing—it makes me want to shut the idea of playing again at all.
  • I need to write here everyday. Skipping a day actually pulls me back to the abyss of gaming. I hope that I'd come back here again on Sunday HAHA.
  • Jeez, I'm so lazy to think about doing anything because I want to play so bad!!
  • I've watched a video linked by a member here, at the ask the community section. The video is about enjoyment in life. From what I've understood, I need distractions in order for me to be fully interested again in developing the business or myself. I still believe that there are other ways to do other than gaming but gaming is the easiest way to reward myself, even for an hour or two each day, after a productive day. I feel burnt out from doing productive things "continuously."
  • Maybe it's a good idea to re-read my journal to remind me of my progress.

Daily Quest:

  • Finally, we'll have an event tomorrow—a civil wedding. The guests will check in today. After writing here, I'd be cleaning the house again.
  • I'm currently creating a general schedule for my everyday life. I wish it would be the "everyday routine" I've been looking for.
  • I plan to create learning modules for my nephew.

Previous Day Quest Checker

  •  this ain't applicable since I haven't written yesterday damn...

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive

How can I be better?:
By appreciating and finding joy in what I'm doing in life
By not being distracted by other's idea
By focusing on what really matters to me
By proving that I honor my decision to quit gaming no matter what

 

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Good morning! This will be a busy day. 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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Remaining Days: 52 days (June 20, 2020 - Saturday)

Quick Fact About Me:
I like to eat. That's why I don't have abs. 😅 However, as of now, I'm trying to consume "healthy foods" as much as possible. Like, no more chips, sodas, or any other food that's too acidic because of my possible GERD.

Morning Feels:

  • Since today's civil wedding starts at 10am, I woke up around 6am—a little late. 😅 Lucky me, the guests just woken up as well. Today is the only event for this month and thankfully, this could help pay my monthly utilities (water, electricity, internet). Feels good to be paid again after 3 months. 😁
  • I read about relapse and its signs and symptoms. I'd say I'm on the edge now. Jeez, I just hit 1 month sober a week ago and here I am thinking of wasting all my effort again. I'm thinking to try to play moderately but I'm afraid it would eat me alive again. The bad part is, thinking about playing games again stresses me which triggers my cravings to smoke. Thanks to this journal; without this community, I would have slipped easily to my desire, that is, to be a zombie again.
  • About the modules for my nephew, surely, it's a great idea since he has something to read easily. I'm thinking if I should write it in the Filipino language or English language? How about both to make it more casual? I like a friendly textbook so that even the noobest of all noobs in Mathematics can understand.
  • Okay as of now, the photographers is still having their "pictorial" 1 hour after the wedding reception. A little tip to photographers out there: the couple, who just got married, after a long day, is very tired already and just wanted to go home and spent the day with their spouse. I can see and sense—because I've seen like hundreds of couples here in our venue—that they're already irritated. They like to rest, man. Wrap your shots up. Okay they're done. He might have sensed me writing about him lmao!

Daily Quest:

  • Today, my role here in the business, every time there's an event, is to be the DJ. 😎 I literally just play songs for the event; sometimes, they have specific songs for the program or they just leave it to me, that is, whatever I like to play. I love my job here. This is my dream when I was a kid—be a rock star originally—to play music for everybody.
  • I'll start making mathematics modules. Damn, I have to restudy the (software to write mathematical document) LateX again. Hello again.
  • I need to realign my focus to the purpose of this detoxification: to remove my gaming addiction. I need to remember that I play too much, I can't control it, and I could never ever do anything legitimately productive as long as I'm playing a game of any kind PERIOD. But, I will never lose hope, that someday, I can control myself and truly enjoy the essence of gaming.

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Cleaned the house for guests
  •  I can't. I'm on a verge of relapsing.
  •  I wasn't able to create modules

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, all about fractions module

When curiosity strikes / How can I be better?:
*I wonder what if I play only after dinner and until 11:30 PM only? This would mean I have to do work all day and can only play at night. 🤔
*By finding an outlet for the stress and burden from trying so hard to be productive

 

----------------------------------
Good afternoon! What a wonderful day! 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

Edited by chiliflavor
removed a sentence; was copied from yesterday's entry
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Hey @chiliflavor I like to eat too. I realise that I have a problem with portion size. Also my partner is a feeder!
Also my family are feeders!

I also just like having something to chew. So I try to chew gum instead of eating.

Overall I think I've been doing better since covid cos ive been drinking less and I've started taking up cardio, which I never used to enjoy. Still don't have abs tho!

I wouldn't take the risk to play after dinner moderately. You'll get sucked in real quick. Then you will feel bad afterwards.
Good luck mate!

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2 hours ago, CG EYE said:

I also just like having something to chew. So I try to chew gum instead of eating.

Overall I think I've been doing better since covid cos ive been drinking less and I've started taking up cardio, which I never used to enjoy. Still don't have abs tho!

Hahaha! Same here @CG EYE! Just anything to chew is perfect. Nice, I might start at cardio workout as soon as covid cases decrease—stray dogs too lmao. I'd like to do jogging/running. I've heard it's a good mental exercise as well.

2 hours ago, CG EYE said:

Then you will feel bad afterwards.

I almost forgot how bad this feels. Thanks for reminding! Maybe I'll just wait after the detox. It was my original plan anyway, that is, to know if I can control not to play for 90 days. 😅

Cheers man, keep safe!

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Remaining Days: 51 days (June 21, 2020 - Sunday)

Quick Fact About Me:
Happy father's day to our ex-gamer (and gamers as well) fathers out there! Someday, I'd like to have my own family too. 😄

Morning Feels:

  • Upon waking up, I've thought about WoW again. I've been selling gold/subscription for my guild mates before I was rich in-game. Rich in-game but in reality, crap, broke as hell. After researching and reading stuff, my cravings to play and the chance for me to relapse actually decreased. This time, I'm thankful for my 10 mbps internet plan because it's the reason why I don't want to download WoW again. It would take me more than a day to download a 70 GB game—around 1 mbps per second only as shown in the battle.net app download progress. 🤣 Maybe, I'm also overwhelmed with the tasks I have on hand. Being a solopreneur is really hard.
  • I haven't told about this cravings to my girlfriend yet. I also thought that she would be very disappointed if I returned to playing games again. Maybe, I'll tell her when we finally meet next week. Like how I don't know much about the law, which she studies, I know that she doesn't understand much about gaming. I've read that it would be nice to have a "sponsor" in every recovery program—the one you can call and will help you to get through the cravings by talking or reminding what matters most, in whatever possible time, regardless if it's day or night. It's just sad that she can't be my sponsor. I don't want to be a hassle for her. I don't want her to see me weak. I want to be strong and able to stand with my decisions because this is what she wants—every woman as well—a stable man.
  • Today, I feel empowered, and distracted by YouTube as well. 😅 I'm writing while watching famous bands do live recording on studios or at some place in a home. I feel empowered because I've refrained from installing WoW again. As of now, the only thing that remains in my head is dual boxing, that is, farming gold in WoW which is the activity that made me a WoW addict. Hopefully by tomorrow, this craving will disappear.

Daily Quest:

  • Since it's father's day, we'll gather at my aunt's place to eat. Gathering with relatives, jeez, in time of covid. I guess, it will be just trust with one another that no one is infected/asymptomatic. The food is great, how can I turn down the invitation?
  • Today, I'll make the module so that my nephew have something to review. I'll consult with my teacher sister if writing an educational material in Taglish (Tagalog & English) is okay—doesn't it sound noob if I write in two languages? 😂 I believe that kids, especially the noobs, will understand Mathematics if it's taught in native language.
  • And, I'll make the images for my math vlog haha. I need to upload a new video to my YouTube channel this week. 😅
  • Update my white board—where short term goals are written.

Previous Day Quest Checker

  • ✔️ Event smoothly done!
  •  I wasn't able to create modules
  • ✔️/ Still not completely convinced myself not to relapse

Incomplete Quest: 

make images for the vlog (area of square), update google drive, all about fractions module

When curiosity strikes:

Is playing chess online considered gaming???

 

----------------------------------
Good morning! 😁

Signing in,
Chiliflavor

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  • chiliflavor changed the title to Learn it the hot way. [Day 90 COMPLETED]

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