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14 hours ago, Vera said:

Well, life hit me when things were going alright. Something personal happened, colleague got sick and I have to take on her load, and it made me mad and irritated. I was trying to change my perspective, look at it from above like Stoics, but it isn't easy to adapt this way of thinking when you already need it in the middle of emotional distress.

It is hard to ignore little things when your mind isn't properly trained and ready to meet any misfortune. The more I learn about Stoicism the more I understand that you can't just use their tricks and then go on with your life like nothing happened. Philosophy is a greedy lady, she takes all you've got, but gives you twice as much. Still hard to accept. I think that if I add logical thinking to the mix (which is going to take away more of mental bullshit in my head) it's going to make me a different person. 

100%. It's a bit scary to practice something before you actually understand the benefits of it, but I guess that is just life. I go to practical philosophy courses every Monday and they are great.

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On 2/6/2020 at 12:42 PM, Vera said:

Well, life hit me when things were going alright. Something personal happened, colleague got sick and I have to take on her load, and it made me mad and irritated. I was trying to change my perspective, look at it from above like Stoics, but it isn't easy to adapt this way of thinking when you already need it in the middle of emotional distress.

It is hard to ignore little things when your mind isn't properly trained and ready to meet any misfortune. The more I learn about Stoicism the more I understand that you can't just use their tricks and then go on with your life like nothing happened. Philosophy is a greedy lady, she takes all you've got, but gives you twice as much. Still hard to accept. I think that if I add logical thinking to the mix (which is going to take away more of mental bullshit in my head) it's going to make me a different person. 

Sorry to hear about work again. It's just another sign to find something new. You might even be able to find something similar to this for some time until you're ready to get that big job you've been working and studying towards.

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Your post is very interesting. Stoicism is great... if we are all 100% spiritual beings. But we are human, and we have needs, and we live in a physical manifestation with limitations. 
 

There is a balance between human - being. Animal - spirit. 
 

Yes accept your situation and do not judge it. But please make changes, as I feel as if you are being taken advantage of. 
 

Hope things get better. Have a beautiful day. 

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@Ikar I'm curious! What kind of things do you discuss on these courses?

@BooksandTrees things are weird at work.. Company is losing quite a lot of contracts with city, something around 20%. People are quite upset but I couldn't care less, there were signs two years ago but nobody has taken action, so it was bound to happen. I doubt that will open any eyes to the crisis in upper management, but it doesn't concern me much as well.

@Icandothis it's not very spiritual. I'd say stoicism has lots of very down-to-earth practical things I can pick up and benefit from.

Earphones that my ex gifted to me last year broke two days ago. They lasted almost exactly one year and I'm glad to get rid of them. Bought wireless ones, still getting used to them. I'm no audiomaniac, all I need is to listen to audiobooks and occasionally some music. I'm satisfied.

My habit tracker is very pretty this month. I'm doing much better. After so many health problems I finally feel like I'm good again. Time to study programming, gotta use my time wisely!

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1 hour ago, Vera said:

I'm curious! What kind of things do you discuss on these courses?

So far, we discussed myths from ancient Greece - Socrates and Plato, as well as Indian ones.

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Work isn't as overwhelming anymore. My colleague is going to show up tomorrow (I'm so glad she's finally somewhat healthy) and things will get better. I am still annoyed by some things at work, but I have to get around them somehow and it's tricky. Software isn't good enough and I don't want to do all these things by hand which means flipping through pages and pages every time I open up a new document. Annoying.

I discovered Andy Frisella's 75HARD challenge. I'm not that crazy to drink 3.7l of water every single day as he suggests, I can drink around 2 at my best day, so it's totally out of the question. I was really surprised when I discovered that people didn't even do any googling beforehand, like recommended water intake and why you would be dumb to drink way more than that. I thought that this challenge is created for views and shock value more than anything else, he just got random numbers and now people do all he says just because it's Frisella? WTF.

I finally started my food diary. I don't really know how to count calories in homemade food, so I simply reduced my portions a bit and stopped snacking on fruits and candy. I feel hungry at the end of the day but I can manage it. I want to lose some weight, and I'm ready to endure some hunger because I'm tired of what I see in the mirror.

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3 hours ago, Vera said:

Work isn't as overwhelming anymore. My colleague is going to show up tomorrow (I'm so glad she's finally somewhat healthy) and things will get better. I am still annoyed by some things at work, but I have to get around them somehow and it's tricky. Software isn't good enough and I don't want to do all these things by hand which means flipping through pages and pages every time I open up a new document. Annoying.

I discovered Andy Frisella's 75HARD challenge. I'm not that crazy to drink 3.7l of water every single day as he suggests, I can drink around 2 at my best day, so it's totally out of the question. I was really surprised when I discovered that people didn't even do any googling beforehand, like recommended water intake and why you would be dumb to drink way more than that. I thought that this challenge is created for views and shock value more than anything else, he just got random numbers and now people do all he says just because it's Frisella? WTF.

I finally started my food diary. I don't really know how to count calories in homemade food, so I simply reduced my portions a bit and stopped snacking on fruits and candy. I feel hungry at the end of the day but I can manage it. I want to lose some weight, and I'm ready to endure some hunger because I'm tired of what I see in the mirror.

I've been using myfitnesspal to track my habits and how I feel each day with that diet. Some days I've eaten almost 900 extra calories. Yikes. 

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Well I definitely went overboard yesterday! Picked up new kind of noodles at the grocery store and oh my how bad it was.. I'd rather drink some water!

Aside of that, yesterday was good! The weather was unusually warm for February and I went for a long walk. It was nice. I also spent whole morning tinkering with my aquarium. I lost two fishes recently and I can see how uncomfortable the rest of them are. Maybe it's a good idea to give them away so they live in a bigger community tank, and I'd try to keep some other kind of fish. I packed up ev

Anyway, I have all Sunday left for myself and I want it to be good.

 

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I'm sticking to my food diary and it helps. I eat slower and it helps to keep myself accountable.

Minnows were given away to another fish keeper. I have one lonely male guppy whom I train to swim to a stick and he does that. Of course it's not a dog but it's funny to watch him try. I plan to get him two females to keep him company. I also have loads of shrimps, but they hide somewhere. Just saw a giant blue female shrimp, it's almost as big as the guppy.

I'm trying out new cosmetics. I don't really know what will suit me so I try something new every day. Citrus extracts are very bad for me, they're irritating, and I hate this particular rose fragrance, but whatever. Gotta keep trying.

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47 minutes ago, Vera said:

I'm sticking to my food diary and it helps. I eat slower and it helps to keep myself accountable.

Minnows were given away to another fish keeper. I have one lonely male guppy whom I train to swim to a stick and he does that. Of course it's not a dog but it's funny to watch him try. I plan to get him two females to keep him company. I also have loads of shrimps, but they hide somewhere. Just saw a giant blue female shrimp, it's almost as big as the guppy.

I'm trying out new cosmetics. I don't really know what will suit me so I try something new every day. Citrus extracts are very bad for me, they're irritating, and I hate this particular rose fragrance, but whatever. Gotta keep trying.

I think you should find a fragrance that you enjoy because if it makes you happy then you'll make others happy as well and not be thinking about it. I also know women who don't use it at all. So I wouldn't force yourself if you don't want. 

Looking forward to seeing pictures of the new fish eventually. 

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Good for you sticking to a diet. Sounds like your aquarium is doing better now too. What're your work and hobbies?

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