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Paul A.

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Hi Paul you are angry and bored and at your age this is kind of normal. I am not in your situation and can't say what your parents are thinking. Do they have their reasons or are they just ignorant of your needs? I can't know. But what I know that you can do something about your life. the is no ADHD no Parent in the world no Evil man in the world who can take this way from you. Victor Frankl was a jew in the deathcamps of nazi germany and he realized that too. You have the ability to be aware of yourself and react on your circumstance(how hard they are doesn't matter) and choose how you respond. How you feel is no result of your surroundings but comes from your inside and from your reactions of the circumstances. Read this article or read habbit 1 from this link.

 

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Hi Paul, welcome back! I've had similar situations, and the shame, guilt, and frustration of gaming all holidays was a key factor to why I quit gaming to start off with. 

I've rummaged through my journal and I've found some quotes from my time of relapse during a holiday period, I hope you will find them useful and can relate to them:

Myself: "Hi everyone, thanks for all the support. I decided late last night that I had had enough playing video games (again) as I know I wasn't having fun and from an observer's perspective I had just become a zombie. I must have played about 16 hours, which is on the level of a hopeless gaming addict. I just kept playing as it gave me a sense of purpose, and I was willing to put in the hours because it felt like I was making progress towards a goal, but obviously I wasn't making any progress in my life. Since I had quit games for such a significant amount of time and had made real progress in investing myself, I developed a lot of guilt in wasting my time playing games which is key to me bouncing back from relapse so quickly. I've finally built the picture in my mind that I cannot be successful in any form if gaming is part of my life, which was something I was hazy about in the past."

The next day: 

"Today has been the happiest day I've had all year! What made this day the best? I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and was rewarded well for my efforts.

I started the day with meditation session (it was very nice to do this after quite a few days of skipping it), then had my morning run using the 30-20-10 technique to get the most out of my time running. I then packed for the day and went into town. I spent my time in the library reflecting and posting on game quitters, which you may have read about in my last post. I then had lunch from a local bakery and sat myself in a small park. Here I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to meet two new girls I didn't know, and we became fast friends. I was baffled at the smooth nature at which everything took place, my easy going approach must have rubbed off for the better. I got to know them better, as well as another guy friend of theirs that arrived a small while later. His name was Raven Claw! Really! He was a tattoo artist which was also interesting. I spent at least 2 hours with these people around town, going to stores we recommended for each other and hanging out on playgrounds. It was an amazing experience to have such fun with people that I could have never known, but because I took that leap of faith I had a blast today and with luck will have more long lasting friendships.

I have achieved all my daily habits today (meditation, running, programming) with the exception of playing the guitar. I would have done it but I got home at about 5:30 and spent a significant amount of time with my family, which was well spent."

As you may see, there is a direct correlation between doing meaningful activities and happiness, so I encourage you to get outside your comfort zone, there's likely not going to be any negative consequences for doing so other than fears of rejection. That's a bit wordy, but I am being consistently reminded that getting out of my comfort zone and getting out of the house is a very reliable way to keep myself engaged and happier in general. I'm going to post tonight about a challenging activity I did today, which you might find motivating.

If you find yourself in need of some more support, don't be afraid to message me and I'll happily skype you if you'd like.

I hope you enjoy your holidays, and turn it into a time that's memorable.

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Alright so...

I have decided to stay away from TV as much as possible, but I will continue to have games on my phone (only my phone). This is for when I have nothing better to do (like I'm on a long car ride or something). I'm not even going to play when I want a break from  some work (that's what laying around idly is for). I just feel like it's kind of extreme for me to give up gaming altogether at my age. I will still regularly write in my journal to keep everyone posted on my progress (because frankly, giving up TV is quite difficult). I would really appreciate the support 

Edited by Paul A.

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Well, today was also pretty boring. Still working on a certain assignment (which is taking forever). I feel like today could have been better in terms of staying TV free, because after I came back from a fall festival at my church, I plopped down in front of the TV although I still had work to do. I don't know, I was kinda tired for some reason, but that shouldn't have been a reason for me to go straight to the TV. Luckily my mom got me to start my ironing, else I might have had a rather stressful Halloween tomorrow. That's been my day, really. Work, festival (which was boring TBH), more work. Hopefully tomorrow's more exciting.

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There's something I need to get off my chest. The lack of comments I get on my journal is kinda discouraging. I know that you all have lives to live and you can't always be on the forum, but I still feel kinda unsupported. At the same time though, it has a little something to do with me checking every fifteen minutes for a reply, and also my lack of better ways to spend time. Outside of gaming and watching TV, there's not really a lot for me to do. I mean, I like to go out for a walk every now and then, but that doesn't really provide much but a short break from my boredom. I don't think it's possible for me to spend the whole day just wandering around the neighborhood. I also like to read, but even reading gets boring after a while. I guess I'm feeling uncertain, about how I'm going to spend time, about whether I should stick around on the forums, about how I might be in over my head about quitting TV. There's just a lot on my mind.

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Hey i check still your comments from time to time. Maybe try discord chat to connect with some people. I know that finding sth to spend time moves you for some time now. This forum can give  you a little relief on the social side but is no end goal. I used (and still do to some amount) this as social outlet instead of gaming for some time but right now i focus more on myself and offline life right now. I wish you all possible luck anyway :)

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Today was pretty boring, as usual. I spent a good amount of time doing my homework, then I went for a walk, then I was out of the house for most of the rest of the day. I did go trick or treating with my siblings and I got a very painful shot in my arm, but otherwise it was an average day. Something I have struggled with for a while now is how to better spend my time. I feel like it will be easier now that I'm cutting down on TV, like something that didn't seem interesting when I was constantly watching TV will become interesting now that I am not watching so much TV. I guess only time will tell.

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I feel like it will be easier now that I'm cutting down on TV, like something that didn't seem interesting when I was constantly watching TV will become interesting now that I am not watching so much TV. I guess only time will tell.

Hey, remember that TV is rubbish. Completely rubbish nowadays.

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Something occurred to me just now. The past few days, I have pursued almost no leisure activities whatsoever. I mean yesterday I did go trick or treating, and I go for a walk every now and then, but other than that I haven't done anything other than do work and lay around. It's really boring. Maybe that's why I constantly find myself checking the forums for replies, because I enjoy the fact that people are paying attention to me and my problems. But I can't keep doing that. I need to do SOMETHING fun (other than spam up the forum lol) else I might die of boredom, so I'm going to read a few chapters of my book then I'll go back to my homework (stayed home from school again today). 

Something I have realized about myself over time is that I want attention, but the problem is I hardly get it. Maybe that's the reason that I get bummed out when I don't get a bunch of replies on my posts, because my need for attention hasn't been fulfilled. Nothing I do seems to get me the kind of attention I want (certainly I get quite a bit of attention I DON'T want), but what can I really do about that? 

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hey paul. 

i don't think anyone considers the posts "spam". speaking for myself here, but one thing this place has taught me, is how we all share so much in common. so anything that I read from you, or anyone else... I consider to be me learning about myself as well.  cuz we all share humanity. 

for me this is especially true when reading about other people's struggles. because i see myself in their writing. 

keep writing paul!

 

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I stayed home again today, because I felt like I didn't get enough sleep in the night to make it through school. My dad wasn't too happy with my reasoning, though :/ . The past couple of days it's just been homework, homework, and some more homework. So as you can imagine, the past few days have been SUPER exciting (not really). I found myself struggling to stay focused, and it took me the whole day to finish an assignment that would've taken one to two hours if I could stay focused. That's actually a big issue for me, staying focused. I think it goes hand in hand with my lack of discipline. Something I need to work on.

A friend of mine came over later on, and we had a good time recalling past experiences, but otherwise today was just another boring day of schoolwork. I found myself constantly checking the forums yet again for replies, but I didn't get many. But I need to get used to the fact that this is not Instagram. I can't constantly expect replies. This journal is more for me than anyone else, and I also understand that you guys have lives to live outside of the forum. I think it shows that I need to find some way to spend my time better, something I've struggled with in the past. But I have hope. I'm considering learning coding, and also writing. I've also been reading a lot recently. So there's definitely hope for me. 

Edited by Paul A.

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 So today I went back to school after 9 days (nine whole days!) of being absent. I don't really care for school, but whatever. It was just another normal, boring school day, followed by track, which was torture. I was cramping, my mouth felt like a desert, and my breathing sounded like a donkey. But it'll be worth it once I make the track team. 

I'm taking part in a program in school where I have to dress up in a uniform every Thursday for an inspection. Since I was out the entire week last week, I thought I had to be in uniform the first day I was back in school (which was today), so on Sunday, I actually, for once in my life, took the time to make sure my uniform was ready for inspection. It turns out there was no inspection the week I was out, so I wore the uniform today for naught, but it still felt good to know that I had spent the time to get it ready. One student even complimented me on my dedication, and believe me, compliments from other kids don't come by often. Plus I have an inspection tomorrow, and I know my uniform is ready. I guess I had a pretty OK day today. 

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hey paul, 

good job on going back to school.

sounds like track and field gave you a work out lol. 

And nice job on getting a head start on preparing your uniform! I learned to show up early to work, school, and almost everything I do. I think it's a positive trait. 

enjoy your day tomorrow :) 

 

T

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Good job on being proactive. If you can make this to a habit do it. Sometimes we are afraid of dedication to smth. I feared often to be ridiculed about smth. if I invested in it and would fail. In reality most of the time no one cares and you feel good for sticking to smth.

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You should definitely look up something to do, an activity you can dedicate your life to. Your age is extremely helpful - whatever you choose to do, you will have extreme potential to become great. 

I'm rather young aswell (18), but I catch myself wishing again and again that I had started writing, drawing, playing instruments etc earlier than I did. According to the science of neuroplasticity, your brain has an easier time to rearrange itself while you are young, thus making you a more proficient learner. basically, if you start now, you will be really thankful in a few years. (This probably sounds like boring, scolding parental talk, but it's true).

I don't know where you are in your life right now, or what you have done before, but I recommend you try out a bunch of different things. My personal tips would be drawing or writing, since they are both cheap, awesome and can potentially make you a living if you get good enough. Life really evolves when you have an activity you love, one that's unique to yourself.

School can be ok or even pretty nice at times, but I don't think it grants you enough fulfillment. (Also, grades aren't all that important when you're as young as 14. It's more about developing a learning mindset, and a way to effectively get the studying done)

I hope you figure stuff out, cause life is supposed to be anything but boring. Good luck. 

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You should definitely look up something to do, an activity you can dedicate your life to. Your age is extremely helpful - whatever you choose to do, you will have extreme potential to become great. 

I'm rather young aswell (18), but I catch myself wishing again and again that I had started writing, drawing, playing instruments etc earlier than I did. According to the science of neuroplasticity, your brain has an easier time to rearrange itself while you are young, thus making you a more proficient learner. basically, if you start now, you will be really thankful in a few years. (This probably sounds like boring, scolding parental talk, but it's true).

I don't know where you are in your life right now, or what you have done before, but I recommend you try out a bunch of different things. My personal tips would be drawing or writing, since they are both cheap, awesome and can potentially make you a living if you get good enough. Life really evolves when you have an activity you love, one that's unique to yourself.

School can be ok or even pretty nice at times, but I don't think it grants you enough fulfillment. (Also, grades aren't all that important when you're as young as 14. It's more about developing a learning mindset, and a way to effectively get the studying done)

I hope you figure stuff out, cause life is supposed to be anything but boring. Good luck. 

Thanks for the words of advice. Right now I'm busy because of all the schoolwork, but once my schedule opens up a bit then I will start to write a bit, I'll start off with journal like entries, like a diary or something, then maybe it'll evolve into something else. There's also a keyboard in the house so maybe I'll have my parents buy a book and I can learn how to play. My dad actually bought it for me when I was in a musical phase, but right now i think my little siblings get more use out of it than I do :P 

Good job on being proactive. If you can make this to a habit do it. Sometimes we are afraid of dedication to smth. I feared often to be ridiculed about smth. if I invested in it and would fail. In reality most of the time no one cares and you feel good for sticking to smth.

Thanks man. To everyone else me being in uniform was nothing special, but it felt especially good to me to be wearing it because I knew I put the work in to get it ready (because preparing that uniform is actually a lot of work, more than you'd expect)

Today was another average day. I wore my uniform today for my weekly inspection, still feeling good because I got it ready. I took some quizzes for classes that I missed last week, and I think I did very well (in fact I know I did well on one, because it was an online test and once i submitted it, it returned my results and i got a perfect score). Had track today, and my legs still hurt from the exercise we did (it wasn't fun). I came home and spent time on my homework, and I finally got started on a project that I've been putting off. Luckily the teacher gave me an extension because it would have been due next Wednesday, and I'm not sure I would have met the deadline O.o

Last night I decided to watch the Country music awards in the name of "family time" (my whole family was watching), but afterwards I had a killer headache. Don't really know why, maybe it had something to do with watching TV and using a phone at the same time. One thing's for sure, I'm not doing that again (watching TV and using phone at same time). 

One thing I'm struggling with at school is talking to people. I'm just scared of the awkward conversations that will most likely take place, because interesting conversations are not my strong suit. I don't want to be asking people my age those awkward questions that a grown person would be asking because I don't know what to talk about. That might just be an excuse I'm making because I'm pretty shy. It probably is, but the whole point is that I don't want to talk to people, but at the same time I don't want to keep on feeling lonely like I have been. Pretty counter intuitive, huh? But it is what it is. I'm too scared to deal with it though. I hate to say it but it's true. I just hope that something will change in the future that will enable me to hold a conversation. Even the "friends" I have now aren't really close friends because whenever we hang out we don't really speak all that much. It's pretty awkward. But I don't know what to do about it. Hopefully that changes.

Overall, just another day. Hopefully the days will be more exciting when I'm not so burdened by work :/ 

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One thing I'm struggling with at school is talking to people. I'm just scared of the awkward conversations that will most likely take place, because interesting conversations are not my strong suit. I don't want to be asking people my age those awkward questions that a grown person would be asking because I don't know what to talk about. That might just be an excuse I'm making because I'm pretty shy. It probably is, but the whole point is that I don't want to talk to people, but at the same time I don't want to keep on feeling lonely like I have been. Pretty counter intuitive, huh? But it is what it is. I'm too scared to deal with it though. I hate to say it but it's true. I just hope that something will change in the future that will enable me to hold a conversation. Even the "friends" I have now aren't really close friends because whenever we hang out we don't really speak all that much. It's pretty awkward. But I don't know what to do about it. Hopefully that changes.

We all want to have a social life. Shy or not shy introvert or extrovert a social life is one main factor to our hapiness. Ofcourse you ahve social Connections to your Family so that's something. Maybe if there is such an awkward silence wiht yur friends you can try ask them how their doing lately. It is often easier to talk to just a single Person. So if you and one of your friends are Walking somewhere alone you could ask him how he is doing lately.

If I remember myself correctly with 14, Girls was always a good topic. What Girl is the hottest/dumbest/smartest/bitchiest in your class? What do your friends think? what do you think. Why do you think that. Something along these lines should loosen them up. Every effort you make will get you one step further to a more vital social life.

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Hey everyone.

I think I'm going to take a break from the forums for a bit. I just can't stop treating it like it's social media, I'm constantly checking for notifications. It has to stop. I'm still going to stick to my no TV and games commitment, but for now I feel like I'm not using the forums the way they should be used: as a way to get through the detox. To be honest, every night I post something on my journal, hoping for notifications the next morning. It's also part of the reason that I'm more active in other people's journals. I'm not allowed to have social media, so I guess I was using the forums as a replacement. But that's not what it's supposed to be. And to be honest, I feel like all the time I spend on the forums is wasted time that I could have used for something else, like the mountain of homework I have. Maybe I'll come back when I feel like I really need support, but for now, it's goodbye. Good luck to everyone

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