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BooksandTrees
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I wanted to add that I did 2 hours of animation tonight. I thought about it and got apprehensive at first, but then just stopped thinking and went to 3d model and made some good progress on my gastly model. I want to stay in the mindset of no fear and just doing it because it makes me happy.

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14 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I really hope I can do what you did. What keeps you going? How do you deal with cravings?

Just knowing that I have a streak and that I prefer life without masturbating to life with masturbating keeps me going. Usually I'm in bed if I'm dealing with a craving. I just stop moving and don't touch anything with my junk. Then I focus on breathing for a while and that usually helps me stop thinking about cravings. 

I like that animation mindset you have going there. Doing it just because it makes you happy. 

Edited by Erik2.0
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1 hour ago, Erik2.0 said:

Just knowing that I have a streak and that I prefer life without masturbating to life with masturbating keeps me going. Usually I'm in bed if I'm dealing with a craving. I just stop moving and don't touch anything with my junk. Then I focus on breathing for a while and that usually helps me stop thinking about cravings. 

I like that animation mindset you have going there. Doing it just because it makes you happy. 

I'll try this next time. I really think meditation will help me. And thanks. I was really happy last night after animating. 

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If it helps I listen to a sleep mediation at night that usually calms my mind down and helps me sleep better. His name is Jason Stephenson and he has lots of great meditation listening videos for sleeping. This is the one I use it's fantastic in my opinion. 

 

Also for house hunting motivation we spent a WHOLE YEAR looking at houses. It sucked being patient and staying in our apartment but it was worth the wait to find something in our price range. Stick with it the house or apartment your looking for will be found. 

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6 minutes ago, Tzen1 said:

If it helps I listen to a sleep mediation at night that usually calms my mind down and helps me sleep better. His name is Jason Stephenson and he has lots of great meditation listening videos for sleeping. This is the one I use it's fantastic in my opinion. 

 

Also for house hunting motivation we spent a WHOLE YEAR looking at houses. It sucked being patient and staying in our apartment but it was worth the wait to find something in our price range. Stick with it the house or apartment your looking for will be found. 

Great perspective. Thank you. I look forward to testing these videos out tonight for meditation. Also, I agree 100% about the house hunting. I really think I did the right thing by renting another year and taking a solid 6 months to a year to plan where I want to buy a home and my methods for doing it. It's the most expensive purchase I'll ever make in my lifetime. If I research TVs for 2 weeks before buying one, then I should put more effort into the biggest event of my life. Common sense. I can't let time circumstances pressure me.

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Today was ok. I started off frustrated because my computer for work had an issue that needed fixing. This delayed my day. I was only productive for a few hours and got a lot done. I guess it's something. I want to work a little tomorrow to make up for this. Not the whole day, just maybe 2-4 hours of uninterrupted engineering time will do me wonders.

I once again got bored after work and thought about 3d modeling and forced myself to do it. It wasn't as much of a force as yesterday. I just said I wanted to make his eyes glow a bit and change shape when he opens his mouth. So I made the final part of the dream eater attack. It's not fully rendered so you don't see the smoke around him or the background. This is just the model space:

image.png.8cdb2c6c1783be5b083260e94e17daca.png

At this point he will have already used hypnosis and the music notes you saw before would have finished. Then he opens his mouth, eyes glowing, and then jumps at the camera to finish the video.

Tomorrow I'm going to work on the camera rigs and lighting as well as lowering the speed of the music notes. I have other things on my list before finishing the animation, but I didn't want to do too much in one sitting. I think one little task at a time is keeping me from burning out and it's working.

Today I'm grateful for my coworkers, my job, my friends, my tv shows, water, the community here, and myself for getting through a very demoralizing work day and finishing strong with animation progress.

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I have this belief that there has to be a state before triggering is even possible- lack of movement during the day (sitting down at the desk for many hours) combined with food intake that is above optimal.

Quick question: did you try this combination of cutting down on sugar (basically eating only fruit from sweets) and bread and pushing yourself to jog a few kilometres each evening? If you cannot jog, walk.

high intensity cardio (boxing warm up) in the evening absolutely kills this thing. Tested on myself. As I came home my mind only focused on having some water and going straight to sleep.

 

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13 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I think one little task at a time is keeping me from burning out and it's working.

Yay. Good job finding your balance. I'm coloring, but only the slightest bit to prevent hurting my arm again and that's going okay. Gotta try to get into a bunch of hobbies to do something other than tv. 

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Today I'm 84 weeks free from quitting games and 86 weeks free from social media. I feel pretty drained after this past week. Searching for apartments really took a lot out of me and this work week did not help things. 

I took today pretty slowly. I had trouble waking up again so I stayed in bed until 10 instead of 7. I then made breakfast, paid my bills, set up accounts for billing at my new place, watched the Matrix Reloaded, watched some Pokemon, spoke to my dad, made more food, and then 3D modeled.

I was going to avoid 3d modeling, but ended up doing it for 3 hours again and had a lot of fun. I set up my camera rigs and then the lighting for my scene. I'm now gathering sound effects for the scene and tomorrow I'll learn how to apply them. I'll then finish rendering my scene, play it, see if I like it, and then edit it. If I do like it right away I'm just gonna post it on YouTube and I'll share that on here. (feel free to subscribe lol) 

Just kidding.

I'm learning a lot about 3d modeling and this was the first time I've modeled 3 days in a row. I've also not masturbated in 3 nights so this has been nice. I've been a little more calmer and relaxed. I did have urges today, but I really wanted to spend the weekend not doing it as well as a long period of time not doing it.

I was going to do some work today, but realized the reason I didn't work as well last week was because I was burnt out from working too much and dealing with my move. This made me want to sleep a lot. So I'm just going to listen to my body and relax this weekend. I think it would be nice to just watch tv, cook, and see if I can finish my model if I'm in the mood for it, not because I feel rushed. This is my hobby and I can and must relax to achieve balance.

Today I'm grateful for my friend, my software, and myself for sticking with a good restorative mindset.

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11 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

myself for sticking with a good restorative mindset.

Stick with that restorative mindset. That sounds like it'll be really good for you. I like chilling too. How do you make the tagline at the bottom of your post that says Quit gaming . . . 

Edited by Erik2.0
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Today was nice. I relaxed a lot and then did some minor modeling experimentation. I watched Pokemon, The Matrix Revelations, two episodes of The Last Dance, and made some lunch and dinner for myself. It was relaxing. 

I talked to my mom and my friend for about 2 hours.

I then played around with my animation. I gotta be honest with you, this animation is fucking cool. It's 23 seconds long and it's pretty advanced for a second project of someone. I'm very excited to share this in the next few days. I might have it uploaded to YouTube tomorrow. We'll see. it's got multiple camera angles, all kinds of smoke and light effects, multiple animation techniques, and some sound. 

Of course it's not amazing, but it's the second thing I've ever made and I think it's amazing lol. I'm so proud of it. I watched it for like 10 minutes tonight just talking to my friend. I really love this animation hobby. I also love doing it every day for a few minutes. Most of the time I end up doing it for 1-4 hours, but the intent is a minimum of 30 minutes. I can't wait to upload it and share. I can't wait to start the next project. I dream of being an animator one day and I hope this becomes something for me one day.

Today I'm grateful for my animation software, my friends, my family, my food, and myself for continuing to enjoy my hobby.

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Today was a challenging day, but I overcame it. I had trouble sleeping last night because I knew work was going to be so stressful. I have so many project deadlines looming over me that it's giving me major stress headaches to the point of migraines and dizziness. The only way to get rid of the stress is to delegate work, express the need for help from my bosses, and actually get stuff done and not avoid it. So i did that today. I finish two whole projects today and might be able to finish 2 more by Friday. If I can do that I'll be golden for the rest of this month potentially. That would be great.

Tonight I started rendering my 2nd animation. It's probably going to be posted on YouTube tomorrow. I'm so proud of this I can't even explain it. It's only 20 seconds or so, but it's beautiful to me. I'm really enjoying this hobby. It's also the 5th day in a row I've worked on it for at least 30 minutes. So I'm definitely building a habit here. 

I also took care of a few more things for my move on Sunday which relieved some stress for me as well. I'm hoping to pack Thursday night so I can do a few boxes per day instead of all at once. I never unpacked when I moved here so I'm almost all packed anyways to be honest. 

I did watch porn today to relax so that streak is over at about a week, but I'd like to restart it. 

Today I'm grateful for myself for getting through today.

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On 6/7/2020 at 10:43 PM, BooksandTrees said:

The Matrix Revelations

Maybe I'll watch that too. I've seen the first one like five times. Mr. Smith, you're going down. Good stuff with the animating. Seems like you're doing well with keeping up on that hobby without over doing it.

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Yesterday’s epiphany and closing in on habit formation:

Ikar once stated that he turned down an invitation to an event because he had work to do. That night he worked more diligently than usual because there was an  immediate perceived opportunity cost in choosing to do that. What increased his motivation greatly was the interaction with another person where he made a decision based on his personal power.

We pushed ourselves more at school and university because there were fixed deadlines for coursework and exams that we could not move. There were these gut instincts that you have at least to do well here to get some chance of producing something good in the world. The canteen, classrooms, people employed to teach us were all subconsciously reminding us that this stuff is important and not in vain. There were so many factors that pressured us- the embarrassment, expectations of our tutors, so many confirmatory conditions.

Provided that our motivatory impulses remained untampered we would put the work in and force our brains to perform more than just routine work. Our brains did all sorts of extraordinary things. Memorisation happened faster, we would switch frames and look at algebraic problems differently because only through that solutions could be understood. We were doing all these things.

All these motivatory factors relate to other people. The anonymous forum on game quitters takes one strong motivatory factor out of the equation- shame of failure because we have anonymity. But it helps us to write on here honestly and self-affirm where the culprit is.

However and this is another culprit for failure, the moment we do something good, we get a round of applause; the moment we mess up we get support from our anonymous friends. For some of us (but definitely not you Books, you are a die hard learner) this may be a risk for our brain never getting pressured enough like at school. 

You seem to have over pressure from your posts- you are putting in a lot of work and getting your brain to learn new things but need to cope with switching to something else. At school you were engaging your brain differently- you had english, maths, history, biology, geography etc. Notice how the subjects were all different, some classes were analytical, others more about memorization. Maybe you had one teacher who got you to laugh more and engaged you differently? This thing in itself got your brain to switch and rest from one type of activity to the other. Imagine one week in which you would have only math lessons and nothing else? That would tire you immensely! I think that getting more out of your other types of activities is a way out of overpressure. Because 3d modeling and engineering work are very similar?

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1 hour ago, Amphibian220 said:

Yesterday’s epiphany and closing in on habit formation:

Ikar once stated that he turned down an invitation to an event because he had work to do. That night he worked more diligently than usual because there was an  immediate perceived opportunity cost in choosing to do that. What increased his motivation greatly was the interaction with another person where he made a decision based on his personal power.

We pushed ourselves more at school and university because there were fixed deadlines for coursework and exams that we could not move. There were these gut instincts that you have at least to do well here to get some chance of producing something good in the world. The canteen, classrooms, people employed to teach us were all subconsciously reminding us that this stuff is important and not in vain. There were so many factors that pressured us- the embarrassment, expectations of our tutors, so many confirmatory conditions.

Provided that our motivatory impulses remained untampered we would put the work in and force our brains to perform more than just routine work. Our brains did all sorts of extraordinary things. Memorisation happened faster, we would switch frames and look at algebraic problems differently because only through that solutions could be understood. We were doing all these things.

All these motivatory factors relate to other people. The anonymous forum on game quitters takes one strong motivatory factor out of the equation- shame of failure because we have anonymity. But it helps us to write on here honestly and self-affirm where the culprit is.

However and this is another culprit for failure, the moment we do something good, we get a round of applause; the moment we mess up we get support from our anonymous friends. For some of us (but definitely not you Books, you are a die hard learner) this may be a risk for our brain never getting pressured enough like at school. 

You seem to have over pressure from your posts- you are putting in a lot of work and getting your brain to learn new things but need to cope with switching to something else. At school you were engaging your brain differently- you had english, maths, history, biology, geography etc. Notice how the subjects were all different, some classes were analytical, others more about memorization. Maybe you had one teacher who got you to laugh more and engaged you differently? This thing in itself got your brain to switch and rest from one type of activity to the other. Imagine one week in which you would have only math lessons and nothing else? That would tire you immensely! I think that getting more out of your other types of activities is a way out of overpressure. Because 3d modeling and engineering work are very similar?

I'm not sure. I think I'm just hellbent on learning things because I want to do more meaningful activities. I found that games were just an escape path for me to hide and I wasn't doing anything interesting. I developed many skills while gaming but I didn't get satisfaction from creating something. 3D modeling brings together the satisfaction of hard work, the good feeling of learning, but the joy of creation and imagination. Engineering has less imagination and expression. I feel so empowered animating. It is liberating.

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Today was another productive, but stressful day. The stress of this week is hitting me, but I rolled with it. I finished one project and started another. I'll try to finish two projects tomorrow. If I can finish 2 projects and start my 3rd project this week I'll be over the moon with happiness because I need to start clearing these fast. I have lots of things due before July and it's outrageous. After that I'll just have 3-4 things due the rest of the summer. Like 6 in June and then 3-4 the rest of the summer. Unreal. I don't think it would be as bad if I wasn't moving to a new apartment this week. I think that's what is actually stressing me out.

I talked to my therapist today and had a good session. I'm glad we got to speak. I feel better.

I also wanted to share my second animation with all of you! It's too long to post here so I will post a YouTube link. I hope you enjoy it. It's nothing amazing, but I'm very proud of it.

Today I'm grateful for my friends, my family, my therapist, my job, my coworkers, my software, and myself for continuing to get through a tough week.

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3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Ikar once stated that he turned down an invitation to an event because he had work to do. That night he worked more diligently than usual because there was an  immediate perceived opportunity cost in choosing to do that. What increased his motivation greatly was the interaction with another person where he made a decision based on his personal power.

There's also the factor that my friends are my friends because of the things I do. It's true there is a bit of extra motivation to work if I already tell someone I can't meet, because I have other important things to do.

3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

However and this is another culprit for failure, the moment we do something good, we get a round of applause; the moment we mess up we get support from our anonymous friends. For some of us (but definitely not you Books, you are a die hard learner) this may be a risk for our brain never getting pressured enough like at school. 

I've had a few clashes/controversies here, but the anonymity makes it so the connection needed to do that effectively is extremely unlikely happen. Besides, the "default" reaction to celebrate when things are going well and to support when things are going poorly is the bread and butter of any friendship, though one absolutely needs to be able to say to the other when things are looking poorly for a long time.

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@Ikar, you mean the connection needed to get pressured on this forum from the emotions of embarrassment and disappointment is unlikely to happen? Because we will not shame each other? If you mean that, I agree.

now, one more thing. You said that acting independently to improve yourself when nobody is judging or monitoring you is a sign of maturity. I can recollect how I did that in my teens even when nobody was there to see my efforts or results. Why was I doing it? I had a very strong sense that I was on the way to become a professional athlete. But something else struck me Ikar. If you were on an uninhabited island with nobody else to witness your work, why would you be looking after your health, fitness, maintenance and refining of your skills? It looks that you would only be doing it with the hope that you would be saved by a ship one day and then matter to other people. There is nothing there to do in complete isolation. Athletes, teachers and other pros are only waiting for postponed success. And that success is benefiting other people. The maturity you spoke about is the ability to wait for it.

Edited by Amphibian220
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8 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

You said that acting independently to improve yourself when nobody is judging or monitoring you is a sign of maturity. I can recollect how I did that in my teens even when nobody was there to see my efforts or results. Why was I doing it? I had a very strong sense that I was on the way to become a professional athlete. 

X

But something else struck me Ikar. If you were on an uninhabited island with nobody else to witness your work, why would you be looking after your health, fitness, maintenance and refining of your skills? It looks that you would only be doing it with the hope that you would be saved by a ship one day and then matter to other people. There is nothing there to do in complete isolation. Athletes, teachers and other pros are only waiting for postponed success. And that success is benefiting other people. The maturity you spoke about is the ability to wait for it.

As we know, any animal, unless it gets hijacked or otherwise tricked, follows the rule that is to survive. Humans are the exception for that, only a few individuals at a time would die for their ideals.

I'll use the uninhabited island in a metaphor. Imagine your uninhabited island as you in your deep addiction before you came on GQ. You rummage through the island multiple times and you always find a few plants to nurture you, but it's not optimal and any other aspect of your life is either non-existent or extremely underdeveloped. Parent problems, girlfriend problems, job problems - you know what to put here yourself. This is survival - you live, but it's not much of a life.

Then, one day, you put together a lifeboat, go on the sea and leave that forsaken place behind. You start solving problems, building trust with others, building up your career, whatever. You start putting time into things that matter more than gaming. And after a short time of being on the sea, you find out it was actually just a small pond and you arrive to a beautiful land of abundance. You can pick up anything you like, but there's so much stuff you can't pick it up all and you have to decide your priorities based on your needs. This is maturity - you live AND it is a life worth of living.

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16 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I don't think it would be as bad if I wasn't moving to a new apartment this week. I think that's what is actually stressing me out.

Oh wow you found a new place to live. That is stressful. But also awesome and congratulations! 

Hey nice job on the ghastly animation. It's a fun video to watch. 

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Today was trash. I just worked a lot. I talked to coworkers in spare time and took a nap. I did some more stuff for my apartment transition and watched TV. 

Thanks for watching my animation. I appreciate it. I'll have more time to post later in the week or next week. 

I'm tired and am taking a vacation in July for sure. 

Today I'm grateful for my coworkers and myself for leading the charge.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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Just another really long day. I'm tired of this shit. 

I got a lot done but I am tired of it. 

I watched some tv after work. 

Today I'm grateful for some coworkers and myself for staying strong. 

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I am so sorry you had a rough day. 
 

Just keep going. I am sending you love and energy. May your spirit be strong. 
 

Good luck with you move on Sunday. 
 

 

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