Tom2's 2nd attempt

[Mettermrck]

Well, if nothing bad happened, that's a good thing. And I know it's past your bedtime. ?

[Tom2]

Well, if nothing bad happened, that's a good thing. And I know it's past your bedtime. ?

[Tom2]

Day 35

- I'm so tired now... I don't know why it's so tired to stick to my desk... But I didn't give up. I fought back quite well. Today wasn't so productive, but I didn't wasted a lot of time doing some bad habits, at least. I tried some activities that I know, to overcome boredom and fatigue. Well, I didn't try various things, as I can see in my graph. I'll stop choosing what to do, when it's boring again. I'm gonna try anything that's on my activity list. Without consideration. I think some refreshment is necessary to be more productive. See you later then!  

[Mettermrck]

I have that problem too, I run out of gas at around 9pm and don't stay up late. I think it's partly the gym but I have to fight through it too.

[giblets]

What are you painting? You should share some of your work here!

[Tom2]

What are you painting? You should share some of your work here!

In fact, it's 'learning how to paint' for now. I'm just a beginner. And I don't draw things with brush and real paints. I wanted to make some funny pictures using a graphic tool 'Gimp', so I'm learning it very slowly. I used to use Windows paint, but I want to do something more complicated so that's why I decided to learn a new tool. It's actually not painting.... ummm... I would say, it's making composite photograph. I don't have some masterpieces, as I do this just for fun. To share some dumb pictures with my friends  

This one is just a simple one... I made this couple of months ago, when a professor who's in charge of teaching reinforced concrete gave a lot of pressure to students.

My friend drove a self-propelled artillery a few months ago, and his ID is Iso_K, so I made this. 

This is an example... My friend isn't actually in there, but... you know... it's just an imaginary picture like the sheep house in <Little Prince>  

One of my friends name is 'Gab sung' and he taught me some solutions of questions in a textbook, so I once called him 'God sung' which sounds similar to 'God Samsung'.

In S. Korea, people add prefix 'GOD' to something that's awesome. It's a kind of meme. And Samsung has a lot of smart people in the group, so that's why I made this. To praise my smart friend!

This one has totally opposite meaning. 'Baek su' means unemployed in Korea(It means 'white and clean hand'). But when people erase 'Baek' and add the super-prefix 'GOD', that means something more powerful. 'God su' is also unemployed, but the difference is 'God su' is much more financially stable, and sometimes rich, because of some reason like, their parents support him or her sufficiently. He or she has a lot of free time and money, so he enjoys his life. But most people who don't have those circumstances struggle everyday, envying 'God su's. People sometimes want to be 'Godsu'. And people admire employees who work in Samsung, so I thought it's similar... That's why I made this strange logo.  

 

There are couple of more pictures and I'm learning basics now. So it'll take more time to make something great. It's just one of my hobbies, and it has less priority for me. Maybe someday, I can draw something awesome. I'll post it when I make one

 

[Tom2]

Day 36

- I did my best! I had to do some work and meet some people so I could study 6 hours. But it's 72% of my free time.

See you tomorrow gamequitters  

[Mettermrck]

I'm guessing that's not you in the picture? ?

[Tom2]

I'm guessing that's not you in the picture? ?

Yeah you're right! 

[Tom2]

Day 37

- So tired today... I'm almost dying... Today was really simple and productive. I had to decide what to learn next semester, so I used 2 hours, making plan and telling the school that I want to attend some classes.

- There were a few important concepts in mechanics that I'm learning. I really had a hard time trying to understand the concepts. At this time, I wanted to procrastinate and chill, but I learned that the way to beat obstacles like this is only facing it, so I sat on my chair, struggling to understand the contents. And the result was quite satisfying. I'm proud of my decision. It was a good choice not to step back. I used every methods and tips that I've learned, in order not to give up. For example, Pomodoro technique, splitting the task with Habitica, studying in a public places, asking other collegues, discussing with my friends, making my own notes, watching the video lecture about 3 times, with a lot of pause and review. Following the instructor's solution with my hand and brain(not just watching and believing that I can solve the same question without help) etc. etc.

- I feel time velocity(?) is getting much faster than before. Maybe I'm adapted to my simple schedule, and my daily routine. Habits are built up quite well. It's not 'really hard' to do daily routine. The problem is I get bored as I feel some kind of mannerism. Feels like I'm in a VERY LONG tunnel that has one exit, being a decent civil engineer. Life looks so shallow. I think people are born to work or learn. I feel like we are machines. I know I have to be patient and consistent. But you guys know that it's not always easy to control emotions. I feel like I'm a zombie who slowly walks toward my own goals in a hot daytime, with a lot of sweat. Maybe it's time to find some other extra activities that make me entertained. But the problem is, I have to be very careful because my priority has to be this learning engineering subjects. Feels like there's only few choices.

My eyes are closing... See you tomorrow gamequitters.. 

[giblets]

Good job of just "sitting with it"! That's a great habit to have and you fill find yourself more productive in the long run.

Are you finding that time is getting faster than before because you are paying less attention to it? For example, when you stop gaming you feel like you have so much time to do things with but also end up "clock watching" constantly so it feels like it is going very slow.

I felt the same way with my studies and training - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel mate. Once you get to the other side, you gain so much flexibility, both financially and mentally. It's like when you're running, the more you sprint and the harder you sprint at the start, then the more you can walk later and enjoy the moment.

[Mettermrck]

Wow, Tom2, I'm used to you writing 2 sentences haha. I see you had a lot on your heart today. I think it's good to have several activites to mix and match and keep you from getting bored

 

[Tom2]

Good job of just "sitting with it"! That's a great habit to have and you fill find yourself more productive in the long run.

Are you finding that time is getting faster than before because you are paying less attention to it? For example, when you stop gaming you feel like you have so much time to do things with but also end up "clock watching" constantly so it feels like it is going very slow.

I felt the same way with my studies and training - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel mate. Once you get to the other side, you gain so much flexibility, both financially and mentally. It's like when you're running, the more you sprint and the harder you sprint at the start, then the more you can walk later and enjoy the moment.

I'm so glad to read this reply. It's very relieving to hear that you felt the same way. No more escape! That's what I'm trying to learn in my journey. 

Wow, Tom2, I'm used to you writing 2 sentences haha. I see you had a lot on your heart today. I think it's good to have several activites to mix and match and keep you from getting bored

 

Hehe 2 sentences usually mean that I didn't have many troubles. I should develop some of my own extra activities to deal with this clogging moment. Thanks for the reply  

[Tom2]

DAY 38

It was a productive day. Didn't do various things. I had couple of moments when it was hard to apprehend some concepts in a textbook, but I just sat there until I get through. After the hard part, I could make progress much easier!

Every subject has its difficulties and you
must not be discouraged by them.  If you can learn how to overcome
difficulties, you will find that doing so affords the keenest
intellectual pleasure, and that each difficulty overcome by your own
unaided efforts will make you much stronger in attacking the next one.

- George F. Swain <How to Study>(1917)

I read this book a couple of years ago, but I haven't put in practice unfortunately. Now the situation reminded me of this book, so I read the paragraph. I think reading or watching educational books or videos are easy, executing is totally different thing. Why am I so stupid? Well, but I'm slowly learning life.  

I was SO tired this day, so I'm writing the journal the next day morning. I heard consistency is a key to success, so I want to see if I can overcome other adversities. See you later gamequitters  

[Mettermrck]

Like you said, you're learning. That doesn't make you stupid....you're just acquiring more knowledge about yourself. Give yourself credit. ?

[Tom2]

DAY 39

I was lazy!!!! Today is gonna be different!!!! 

[Mettermrck]

Good intention! I remember one of Cam's guests in a video talking about making it a "new moment". The past is the past. Just keep moving!

[Tom2]

@Mettermrck Thank you so much!! I'm drunk right now, and I'm really tired of my life. But I decided to move on after reading your  reply and Cam's videos. Alchole rellay made me feel awful and depressed, but I'm gonna overcome it!!! Today was not so perfect, but I have 1 hour and 20 minutes/. I'm goona do my best. I'm not gonna give uip! 

[Tom2]

DAY 40

It was quite ok. I was lonely while I was studying. So I contacted my friends but they were busy. It was sad because other guys that I talk to online were also busy living their lives. I think sometimes I have to overcome loneliness by myself. Friends can help me, but they can't solve my problem all the time.

I had dinner with my parents and other families that are close. After drinking a lot, I became sad so I came back home and got rest. I think I did my best.

[Mettermrck]

I know how that is, loneliness. I used gaming to hide it and now I have to deal with the loneliness. I think it's just a temporary bout for you as you have friends and family around you.

[Tom2]

I know how that is, loneliness. I used gaming to hide it and now I have to deal with the loneliness. I think it's just a temporary bout for you as you have friends and family around you.

I wish it was temporary  

[Cam Adair]

How can you be with yourself and not be lonely? Sit with that. 

[Tom2]

DAY 41

It was a good day. I think somedays have to be balanced. I can't exceed my high score everyday. I try everyday, but I don't have to feel guilty if I did my best and fail. I tell myself I don't have to be perfect all the time. I need to be consistent, not perfect.

Today I woke up about an hour late because of yesterday's drinking. I didn't want to do anything in the morning, but I got up. I was sad at the moment, but I just decided to move on. What one of my friends told me yesterday hurt me a lot, but I don't have to listen to him. It's my life, not his. I think he is not my friend anymore, as he couldn't understand my situation and status. Good bye my ex-friend. I have other guys who are much better than you.

I felt much better after kicking him out from my imaginary friends circle. So I could finish my morning routine. I went to a cathedral. After that, I helped my mom to prepare her store for a couple of hours. And then, I had my free time. Mostly studying. I didn't do a lot, but I didn't waste my time when it was too hard to continue. 60% of my free time is good thing, in my opinion.

After I get back home at night, I worked out, listening to great music of 'The Script'. I was lonely and bored so that's why I tried. The result was so good. I'm going to exercise with music when I have the same bad emotions like today or yesterday. I felt like I'm alive when I listened to those songs and moved my muscles. I want to see if it's effective when  next attack comes.

I got shower, and studied little bit more. I read a reply from a person who left a question at a website. I shared my solutions of some questions so he told me that it was grateful. I'm happy as I could help someone else. I wish my journey goes well. See you tomorrow.

This week went quite well. I studied average 5 hours and 16 minutes everyday. Friday was a bit vulnerable day, but the good thing was that I didn't give up the whole day. I've spent 58.5% of my free time on studying. I'm satisfied with the result, but I want to increase more. Not a lot, but a little bit.

[Mettermrck]

You're doing great, Tom2, you just have to avoid the trap of perfectionism, trying to always get it all right, to condemn yourself if you're not quite as good as you wanted. I'm the same way. Even with all my weight progress, I still have the tendency to be hard on myself if I eat a little too much, etc. We have to be easy on ourselves! ?

[giblets]

I have started using your Study Checker app @Tom2, and kept pushing myself to try and reach your score! But I only got to 4hrs 20mins, with 2hrs 30mins of chores. Next time!