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seriousjay

Jay's Epic Journey

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So the girl told me that I'm too young for her. This must be something similar to what heartbreak feels like. I wouldn't say I was especially attached to her but I really thought we had a great connection.

Oh well, all I can do is focus on the positives from this experience and push on. 🙂

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6 hours ago, seriousjay said:

So the girl told me that I'm too young for her. This must be something similar to what heartbreak feels like. I wouldn't say I was especially attached to her but I really thought we had a great connection.

Oh well, all I can do is focus on the positives from this experience and push on. 🙂

Great job focusing on the positives. ^^ My Girlfriend and I recently broke up but it was pretty calm and we still talk almost every day. We decided to look a the positives and the fact that we had a nice experience, and that is important. Just don't give up, she's out there somewhere. 😆

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I started using some affirmations to reinforce my self-value and self-worth independently from my relationship status. I've never found affirmations useful before but this seems to be working a bit.

I'm also being very deliberate about allowing any thoughts regarding my relationship status or fantasies about future relationships to simply play out. I find that if I accept the thoughts freely and recognize that they are not true if I don't want them to be, they almost instantly go away since they no longer have any power over me.

Terraria 1.4 is coming out soon and I was thinking of allowing myself a couple hours a week on a specific day (Saturday or Sunday) to play it. I think I'm at a healthy enough point where I can reward myself with that without it getting out of hand. I don't really have anything else that I do for no reason other than pure enjoyment so that's one option. I was also thinking of allowing myself the same thing with Netflix instead. Either way, it would just be a couple hours a week of downtime to balance out all the worky kinda stuff I do the rest of the week.

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So today I signed up for violin lessons. They start this Tuesday. Yay!

I'm also getting a lot more consistent with my writing habit.

Overall things are going super well!

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It's really early to make any judgments about it but so far I'm taking quite well to the violin. I'm finding myself more motivated to learn it than the wind instruments. I'm sure at least part of that is due to all the personal growth I've done since then (particularly a stronger work ethic) but I'm also finding myself really falling in love with the sound it can make, the way it feels in my hands, etc.

Additionally, and it's not quite manifesting itself physically just yet but I feel so damn close to everything coming together for me. I'm more certain than ever, and perhaps as I'll ever be, that the creative road is my path to follow. The two outlets I've chosen-music and writing-feel as right as anything has ever felt in my life. My physical fitness is very much on track. All that's really left is really developing my writing and music habits and tightening up my nutrition.

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I have worked hard lately to shift my focus from results-oriented to process-oriented. This allows me to focus more on making sure I'm maintaining good habits and continuing to move forward as opposed to trying to "get somewhere". I feel like this has really changed a lot of things for me, especially mentally. I'm not so concerned about the days where I slip up a little bit because I know in the long run those will just be blips in the grander scheme.

Where I've felt this the most is in my writing and music. I'm not so concerned anymore about reaching certain goals and instead am just enjoying the process of learning these crafts. This is allowing me to enjoy them so much more, and we'll just see where it goes.

Things are really starting to fall into place for me, and now it's just a matter of keeping up the momentum!

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So I went on a date last night that I thought went really well, but I was told today that it didn't feel romantic enough for her. I went on a hike to try to clear my head. I came to the conclusion that this and the last instance of getting rejected were the universe telling me I'm still not ready for a relationship. So I've decided to take an actual break from the dating scene completely to focus more on myself, specifically my music and writing.

I'm also considering signing up for actual date coaching at some point, though probably not soon. I'm pretty much just going to go with the flow of things for now and see what kind of opportunities present themselves and go from there.

It really sucked to hear first that I was too young for someone and second that it didn't feel romantic enough, but sometimes we need these things to happen to us for us to open our eyes to what needs to be done.

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6 hours ago, seriousjay said:

So I went on a date last night that I thought went really well, but I was told today that it didn't feel romantic enough for her. I went on a hike to try to clear my head. I came to the conclusion that this and the last instance of getting rejected were the universe telling me I'm still not ready for a relationship. So I've decided to take an actual break from the dating scene completely to focus more on myself, specifically my music and writing.

I'm also considering signing up for actual date coaching at some point, though probably not soon. I'm pretty much just going to go with the flow of things for now and see what kind of opportunities present themselves and go from there.

It really sucked to hear first that I was too young for someone and second that it didn't feel romantic enough, but sometimes we need these things to happen to us for us to open our eyes to what needs to be done.

I'd recommend "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson who was a dating coach for a couple of years. I enjoyed reading it thoroughly.

I remember that up until I met my ex, I had to deal with several/dozen of rejections (be it in person or through the Internet) before I met her. I think it had to do less with age/experience (I was 20 when I met her) and more with the total number of women I've shown my romantic/sexual interest in (somewhere in the low 10s), in proportion to quality of my lifestyle, not entirely but partly projected by my looks (gaming addicts don't have much going for them).

I don't know where/how you approach women to date them, but you should be more resilient/less anxious about your dating capabilities, simply because two women rejecting you could easily fall into the area of statistical error.

Take your time to soak the experience and keep your eyes peeled. There's bound to be a woman for every man 🙂

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12 hours ago, Ikar said:

I'd recommend "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson who was a dating coach for a couple of years. I enjoyed reading it thoroughly.

I remember that up until I met my ex, I had to deal with several/dozen of rejections (be it in person or through the Internet) before I met her. I think it had to do less with age/experience (I was 20 when I met her) and more with the total number of women I've shown my romantic/sexual interest in (somewhere in the low 10s), in proportion to quality of my lifestyle, not entirely but partly projected by my looks (gaming addicts don't have much going for them).

I don't know where/how you approach women to date them, but you should be more resilient/less anxious about your dating capabilities, simply because two women rejecting you could easily fall into the area of statistical error.

Take your time to soak the experience and keep your eyes peeled. There's bound to be a woman for every man 🙂

Thanks for that!

To be completely honest though the decision to take an actual break from dating feels like the most correct thing to do for me right now. I'm only just getting started with my music and writing and taking the time to really focus on that stuff is really important to me. I didn't even realize just how much I love music until I started playing the violin.

That being said, I'll still keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities that do come by, but I won't be actively seeking them anymore for a while.

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Well had a bit of a rough day. I think it stemmed from getting off to a slow start this morning. Two alarms didn't get me up when I wanted to and I essentially skipped my entire morning routine. I felt extremely lazy all day after that. I did end up forcing myself to practice violin for a bit which I'm really happy about, even if I think it didn't go that well. I also did a bunch of reading. I guess it goes to show how important a role habits play in our lives.

Well, despite all that it still turned out OK. Looking forward to a better week ahead! 🙂

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@Ikar Thanks for the suggestion of the Models book. I skimmed through it a bit and it seems to be right up my alley for the most part. When the time comes I'll be going through it more thoroughly.

So we're getting close to the point where I can think about everything that's happened the past year and I'm pretty damn pleased with my progress. I've discovered two passions I want to explore much further. My physical fitness is about the best it's ever been. Still got some tightening up to do with my nutrition but it's so much better than when I started this whole thing. Mentally I'm in a great place as well. All the self-love and value work I've done is really starting to pay off.

I'm looking forward to 2020 being a breakthrough year for me!

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