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seriousjay

Jay's Epic Journey

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10 hours ago, giblets said:

I don't really think the marijuana legalization is that big a deal. We'll probably smell a lot more of it right now, but I have to imagine that most people who would buy the marijuana legally were already buying it illegally. People seem to think that this is going to cause the country to become collectively high but I don't really think so.

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Day 83 (I think.. day math is still hard)

Well I'm back from my mom's house! It was much better this week than last week. I did end up ordering food one day but I felt a lot more in control while I was doing so, despite having ordered way too much food. I was otherwise just preparing food that my mom had around the house, and I went to the grocery store as well to get some fruits for my lunches.

I'm really into the book I've been reading. It's called Broken Stars from the Universe on Fire series. It isn't *exactly* the type of book that I'd write but pretty close. I'm excited to continue with that.

I also started reading The Power of Habit. I only went through the prologue so I don't have much to say about it but I identified it a while ago as a good book to move on to after The Willpower Instinct, mainly because building positive, constructive habits I feel is the next step to moving my life forward. Right now I just feel too disorganized and need to schedule my time better, and I think there's an element of that in proper habit building.

So close to 90 days, but honestly, I feel like I've only just gotten started!

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I guess this is technically day 85.

I went to a club last night for the first time in my life, and I can safely say it isn't for me. After about 10-15 minutes of dancing I just feel like I'm wasting my time. I can think of more productive forms of entertainment.

It isn't even a great social atmosphere because the music is so damn loud.. haha.

Tomorrow I'm going to start a gratitude journal, as recommended by the 7 Days of Gratitude from Calm.

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5 hours ago, seriousjay said:

I went to a club last night for the first time in my life, and I can safely say it isn't for me. After about 10-15 minutes of dancing I just feel like I'm wasting my time. I can think of more productive forms of entertainment.

It isn't even a great social atmosphere because the music is so damn loud.. haha.

 

15 minutes... thats 13 minutes longer than I ever did 🤣

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13 hours ago, seriousjay said:

I went to a club last night for the first time in my life, and I can safely say it isn't for me. After about 10-15 minutes of dancing I just feel like I'm wasting my time. I can think of more productive forms of entertainment.

 

I don't think people go to clubs for music or dancing.. 😄 Unless they REALL REALLY love dancing. Why did you go there and what were you expecting to find I wonder? 

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3 hours ago, JustTom said:

I don't think people go to clubs for music or dancing.. 😄 Unless they REALL REALLY love dancing. Why did you go there and what were you expecting to find I wonder? 

I went there because I had never done it before. I wasn't really expecting to find anything. I was HOPING to be able to sit down and chat with a nice girl, but the music was so blaring loud that I couldn't even hear people speak straight into my ear.

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15 minutes ago, seriousjay said:

I went there because I had never done it before. I wasn't really expecting to find anything. I was HOPING to be able to sit down and chat with a nice girl, but the music was so blaring loud that I couldn't even hear people speak straight into my ear.

Hahah that was always my issue, can't hear what anyone is saying in a club, glad to see i'm not the only one. A bar might be better

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Day 89.

Well I got some bad news today that I might need to completely replace my roof. I'll just have to deal with that later.

I said I was going to start a gratitude journal but I realized today I kept forgetting to do that. So I'll start it now.

1. My contact lenses - can't believe what I was missing out on

2. My job - recent experiences have really reminded me how lucky I am to be in the position I am in

3. Can't think of anything else, I'm not really in much of a mood to be grateful

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Day 94.

I started putting together a weekly schedule for myself last night. I feel like there isn't enough structure in my day and it's causing me to lose focus and get distracted too easily.

Gratitude journal. I think I'll only do this once a week because every single day seems like I'll run out of things to be grateful for real quick. That does mean though that I'll need to put some real thought into what I put here!

1) Meditation. Slowly but surely I feel like it's really helping me become more grounded and appreciating each moment instead of constantly thinking about the past or future.

2) The gym. One of the main reasons why I'm slowly starting to look more and more like what I want to look like. I really have so much more confidence now because I feel better about the way I look and how I feel.

3) Game Quitters. Wouldn't be here without this forum!

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Day 97.

Yesterday I had a ridiculously intense craving for junk food when I went to the grocery store. I managed to resist it though. I've been thinking about games a decent amount the last couple of days and I wonder if that's starting to drag my previous habits back to the surface. To be honest though, the last couple of days I've missed the games. I know it'll pass in time but it does suck a bit.

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Remind yourself why you're doing this. The inconvenience and uncomfortable feelings are a very small price to pay for the goals you're going to achieve! Keep up the good job!

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2 hours ago, JustTom said:

Remind yourself why you're doing this. The inconvenience and uncomfortable feelings are a very small price to pay for the goals you're going to achieve! Keep up the good job!

Maybe my reasons just aren't strong enough anymore. Reminding myself of why I'm doing it doesn't seem to help much.. lol.

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18 minutes ago, seriousjay said:

Maybe my reasons just aren't strong enough anymore. Reminding myself of why I'm doing it doesn't seem to help much.. lol.

I'm sure the reasons are strong enough. They are just not emotionally charged enough. I'd suggest two things:

  1. Make them more specific - instead of "I want to be more healthy", say for example "I want to have 10% body fat in a year". Or instead of "I want to be more social" say "I want to be meeting 1 new girl every two weeks".
  2. Visualize them - just sit down and visualize yourself having achieved those goals, one by one. Not just the imagery, but also the emotion, how awesome it will be, how you will feel, try to immerse yourself in the fantasy. Then, visualize the road towards those goals the same way. What I like to do is visualize my life 15 years ahead, then 10, then 5, then 1, and then visualize the next day(or right after I'm done with the visualization). 

If you want a really good pump-up as well, incorporate some fist-pumping, power-poses, smiling, jumping, anything physical - this will change your state immediately and coupled with the visualization, will leave you motivated as fuck. 

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On 11/9/2018 at 10:24 PM, JustTom said:

I'm sure the reasons are strong enough. They are just not emotionally charged enough. I'd suggest two things:

  1. Make them more specific - instead of "I want to be more healthy", say for example "I want to have 10% body fat in a year". Or instead of "I want to be more social" say "I want to be meeting 1 new girl every two weeks".
  2. Visualize them - just sit down and visualize yourself having achieved those goals, one by one. Not just the imagery, but also the emotion, how awesome it will be, how you will feel, try to immerse yourself in the fantasy. Then, visualize the road towards those goals the same way. What I like to do is visualize my life 15 years ahead, then 10, then 5, then 1, and then visualize the next day(or right after I'm done with the visualization). 

If you want a really good pump-up as well, incorporate some fist-pumping, power-poses, smiling, jumping, anything physical - this will change your state immediately and coupled with the visualization, will leave you motivated as fuck. 

While I do believe somewhat in visualizations I value just setting a goal and making it happen a lot more. Nothing drives motivation more than actually seeing your dreams come true.

In any event, I can clearly see that I've started on the path back to relapse. So today I'm changing things up and going to my mom's house to read. I think getting out of the house will be very good for me to get back on track.

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So I do think changing things up a little bit today really helped. I think I've got a handle on things now.

It's amazing how much of an impact just a small disruption can have.

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Day uh.. something it doesn't really matter anymore.

So I was still having problems with watching too much Netflix. I decided I needed to do the same thing as what I did with Match and force myself to not allow myself to be consumed by it. As soon as I really committed to that the cravings for it died down quite a bit. It was a lot harder with Netflix because I was already pretty consumed by it in the past and Star Trek has a bit of a video game feel to it. I'm looking forward to putting this past me in any event.

Also, on Wednesday I am going on my first ever date with a girl. I've decided not to have any expectations about this and just have fun with it. I will of course try to prepare myself to the best of my ability and just see what happens from there. It's pretty exciting either way!

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So my date turned out to be nothing interesting at all. It wasn't much more than just two people meeting each other for the first time. I'm starting to realize that my perception about dating is likely very warped, and that I need to practice this skill in order to become more interesting going forward.

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8 hours ago, seriousjay said:

So my date turned out to be nothing interesting at all. It wasn't much more than just two people meeting each other for the first time. I'm starting to realize that my perception about dating is likely very warped, and that I need to practice this skill in order to become more interesting going forward.

It depends on the type of person you are and the one you are dating and its ok. For me, it works as it grows on me or something like that but just recently I had a date which was more like the girl tried to hook me up tbh.

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12 hours ago, Niko_Buccellati said:

It depends on the type of person you are and the one you are dating and its ok. For me, it works as it grows on me or something like that but just recently I had a date which was more like the girl tried to hook me up tbh.

Well I think in my particular situation there wasn't really a whole lot of chemistry. I think the biggest thing I've learned from this experience is that I cannot be too picky with who I meet with for now. I need to develop this particular skill which simply means to keep meeting women.

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2 hours ago, seriousjay said:

Well I think in my particular situation there wasn't really a whole lot of chemistry. I think the biggest thing I've learned from this experience is that I cannot be too picky with who I meet with for now. I need to develop this particular skill which simply means to keep meeting women.

Yeah, it makes perfect sense what you said. All in all, I find all that stuff and the hustle related to it quite overrated but sure it's worth trying.

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22 hours ago, Niko_Buccellati said:

Yeah, it makes perfect sense what you said. All in all, I find all that stuff and the hustle related to it quite overrated but sure it's worth trying.

What "stuff" are you referring to? Online dating and such?

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1 hour ago, Niko_Buccellati said:

No, relationships and their outcomes 😉 Honestly I never bothered myself with online dating.

Ah, fair enough!

Yeah, for me, getting married and starting a family are very important. However, I know that finding the right person is going to take time and effort. So I need to put a conscious effort towards meeting a lot of people and getting to know them at least a little bit. It's impossible to say where the right person is going to come from so I cannot close the door on any possibility really.

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