jade_ 32 Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 (edited) On 7/17/2022 at 7:29 PM, LostRiver said: This weekend I have been clean but I watched a lot of stuffs on Youtube with my phone. It hits me after I woke up: now sober, I begin so see all the mistakes that I made while being addicted, all the people I hurt, all the missed opportunities. And it hurt me immensely that almost everything I did "under the influence" was so wrong. Plus I am so scared to try again/ keep on working on things. I do not want to go back to being an addict but I have no idea how I can fix my life and make a better future for myself. I suppose for now I just keep to the AA saying of "One day at a time". Also I will go back to check on Cam's materials. I relate to you on the not knowing how to not be an addict. Quitting gaming and other addictive things, and then forging a new set of routines and habits is like getting a whole new identity. Right now, I'm doing the same thing as you - one day at a time - trusting that I'll slowly work out who I want to be and where I want to place my energy. I also notice I have regrets about time wasted and a lot of missed out on growth. And this feeling of, "now I gotta face the real world without my escape pod". One thing that's really helped is picking up guitar as a hobby. I've played here and there in the past but since quitting gaming it's been almost daily with lots of long sessions. It's been such a good outlet for when I need to focus on something separate to myself and for getting that sense of progression that games gave me, albeit at a much slower and sometimes frustrating rate. So I hope you have something or can find something to put some of your newfound energy and time into that feels satisfying for you. Edited July 19, 2022 by blueclouds 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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