Well, it was a good run at least. This weekend I collapsed and resorted to youtube again, I still have to find a way to deal with music specially without going overboard and also managing the ups and downs I sometimes face.
Good things I found out:
1-Instead of going on a full self indulgence spree it was more contained, maybe it was the pressure of academic work and having overall more stuff outside the internet like commitments friends work ideas sport and goals but somehow I did manage to get out quicker
2-Routines, self reflection social connections and sport are very important if you neglect your physical and social need to focus solely on you work/entertainment ones it will come back to haunt you
3-Space between me and the internet is necessary, I can't be constantly fighting a battle to keep myself from opening a certain page, it wears me down too much, a dumb phone together with a blocker is what I need even if I may not fully like the idea of needing this "external help" to manage my time and addictions well.
4-Problems pile up you need to forgive yourself but also force yourself to correct it as soon as possible before they get to big sometimes a I'll start with a little action right now no matter how big the problem is is enough.
Bad things/realizations I had:
1-I still can't handle social media/new non-work related digital technologies like smart phones, youtube, twitch or games in general vr...
2-I'm still lacking in many non work related skills like social life, life skills, work-life balance...
Today I'm going to get my phone and change it back to the dumb phone together with turning the blocker ups back on I still can't handle it fully on my own but I will try to keep working to one day be able to do so.
That's about it, let me see if I can make good use of the rest of the day and to whoever is reading this just know that as my trainer once told me you can do anything another person with 2 arms and 2 legs can, you just need to believe that you can and you will get there, you are indeed capable enough just have patience and put in the work. Good luck on your journey ahead 🙂