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Restored journal


Amphibian220
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3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

My second detox from media is over. The rules for not overeating and not following distractions have been regularly broken.

today was a rare exception. I followed the no distractions, no overeating rule just from getting bored. I already know what it is like to be withdrawn and passive, so i will continue for another month to see how the active lifestyle changes me. 

Day 1 success.

highest difficulty is running a controlled conflict, or contesting an issue with my employer.

This sounds very restrained. Are you finding success with it?

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Matt, I decided that I will not be in need of it because I will be carrying books with me and targeting issues of concern instead of avoiding them. Speaking to people is a great way to take one’s mind off stress.

Plus internet media is targeted at capturing attention primarily, much less with educating. This confusion between advertising and education is having a negative impact on knowledge.

ofcourse there are websites apart from social networks that serve the primary need of education and spreading beneficial knowledge. I am not speaking of all sites.

Edited by Amphibian220
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7 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Matt, I decided that I will not be in need of it because I will be carrying books with me and targeting issues of concern instead of avoiding them. Speaking to people is a great way to take one’s mind off stress.

Plus internet media is targeted at capturing attention primarily, much less with educating. This confusion between advertising and education is having a negative impact on knowledge.

ofcourse there are websites apart from social networks that serve the primary need of education and spreading beneficial knowledge. I am not speaking of all sites.

That's a great change of course and I think you're really going to benefit from it. I'm proud of you. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I negotiated a pay raise, but the company has financial problems at this moment as a result of a number of mistakes on the part of management.

I feel that this is my company to some extent and my responsibility too. But I need a higher pay.

another issue is I need to work out certain work that i cannot take because of legal ramifications.

That is it for now. I stepped over my fear and did something I am not accustomed to- took initiative in asserting my interests.

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19 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

I negotiated a pay raise, but the company has financial problems at this moment as a result of a number of mistakes on the part of management.

I feel that this is my company to some extent and my responsibility too. But I need a higher pay.

another issue is I need to work out certain work that i cannot take because of legal ramifications.

That is it for now. I stepped over my fear and did something I am not accustomed to- took initiative in asserting my interests.

Hey, what do you work at? What is your goal with this Journal? Would you find a day count useful? I believe it is. Let me know what you think.
(I read a bit of posts, but preferred to ask you rather than go over everything, so if it's included earlier, apologies. )

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A day count is great in order to see a different life, without day counts I would not discover healthier alternatives to my habits.

The goal with the journal is to detect areas of improvement basically. I was able to work out a solution yesterday just by writing my thoughts down on paper.

My current practice area is financial services marketing.

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20 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

A day count is great in order to see a different life, without day counts I would not discover healthier alternatives to my habits.

The goal with the journal is to detect areas of improvement basically. I was able to work out a solution yesterday just by writing my thoughts down on paper.

My current practice area is financial services marketing.

Awesome. Agree with everything you said. Glad to have you here.

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Okay, I dropped screens, and now I can decide what to do with my time.

The resets that I use to feel better when the screens are a no go:

Going outside to a coffee shop. This is a money waster if done on a regular basis, but could I use a better alternative?

Morning exercise routine, language learning, job searching. With these three, they are not being acted upon in a structured manner. There are no monthly, quarterly and yearly exams! I have to set them up quick otherwise my old habits will start pulling in no time.

With language learning, I need it because I am going to apply for jobs abroad.

With exercise I have to prevent onset of various health problems.

With job searching, i have to fanatically drive for the job that I identified. I need to start learning the medical profession. Including causes of certain ailments and ways to prevent and cure them.

I want to get better with workouts but I need to add a game element into them.

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I have been offered a move to another department but I feel that i will not take it because of the manager’s attitude of being very informal. 

This is a risk because it is likely to produce a lot of unwanted emotions.

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3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

I have been offered a move to another department but I feel that i will not take it because of the manager’s dress and her personal attitude of being very informal. 

This is a risk because it is likely to produce a lot of unwanted emotions, but the media tries to dictate that this is something normal.

Send me a picture, so I can evaluate that manager's attire myself 😛

Now to be serious. Look, if your company is good, competent and makes money in an honest way, they will not have this manager in that position just because she looks good, but because she's competent. I know for some people it works very well for their confidence to dress nice and to look good. You may be right to think she's vulgar (and that the rest of the company/bosses are stupid enough not to see it and that they lose money because of her), but it's also possible that you are just afraid to deal with her based on her looks and not her actual competence.

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I don’t doubt her competence, but the greatest allure of all things on earth for men are women. This can come in as a barrier for effective work and can even compromise a person.

Which is why I accept to work when interaction is minimal with the opposite gender.

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18 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

I don’t doubt her competence, but the greatest allure of all things on earth for men are women. This can come in as a barrier for effective work and can even compromise a person.

Which is why I accept to work when interaction is minimal with the opposite gender.

Are you afraid that she would touch you during conversations? Or that in her department you'd just spend all the time looking at her instead of working?

Regardless, there are solutions; some people like to have physical contact with the other person, but the other person can set boundaries and say they don't want that. And if she's just so pretty you can't stop looking at her, then that's something in your power to change and stop doing. Anyway, it's not a criminal offense to consider other women besides your wife pretty.

We've had women in the workforce for at least a few decades and I don't think that's going away in our lifetimes. Unless you work in construction or some heavy industry, you are going to have to deal with women in a constructive way. I don't think avoiding them completely is constructive, but it's on you of course.

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I wonder about the latent child mentality. It will linger for some time in the following ways:

Not enough will to make a decision, assessment blocked by emotions;

Not enough will to to defend one’s actions and contest an issue.

Too much energy allocated to cleaning and putting my things in order. Insufficient energy allocated to quick planning, health and working out, memorization of core subject material.

What is a doable plan? How much of work is my personal responsibility and how much of it can be delegated?

i overpowered my desire for cleaning and went ahead to have my first workout in weeks yesterday, felt relieved.

What job would be a better use of all of my skills and a return on my investment?

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It has been several months before I realized a pressing issue. “She no longer works with us” was the answer when I enquired about my workmate.

But the real reason was revealed when I was told about how she confronted the management about the lack of management in that company. The management was having none of it and decided to fire a worker who was challenging them.

I must not accept failing systems.  I must not adapt to a failing system by sacrificing my time and health. If a superior system is ready to go, I need to be brave by adopting the new one.

This new job is an addiction to me. As I think of it, it has a striking similarity to a strategy video game and gives immense mental rewards when I get the job done.

My senses have been numbed. In the first months of this job, I could feel back pain and eye strain from sitting at the desk for too long. Now these warning mechanisms have eroded.

As Cam mentions, the gamer’s back muscles are tensed up, his eyes are strained, but he no longer feels it because the habit puts him into a sense of trance when he is playing. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/13/2022 at 4:35 PM, Amphibian220 said:

It has been several months before I realized a pressing issue. “She no longer works with us” was the answer when I enquired about my workmate.

But the real reason was revealed when I was told about how she confronted the management about the lack of management in that company. The management was having none of it and decided to fire a worker who was challenging them.

I must not accept failing systems.  I must not adapt to a failing system by sacrificing my time and health. If a superior system is ready to go, I need to be brave by adopting the new one.

This new job is an addiction to me. As I think of it, it has a striking similarity to a strategy video game and gives immense mental rewards when I get the job done.

My senses have been numbed. In the first months of this job, I could feel back pain and eye strain from sitting at the desk for too long. Now these warning mechanisms have eroded.

As Cam mentions, the gamer’s back muscles are tensed up, his eyes are strained, but he no longer feels it because the habit puts him into a sense of trance when he is playing. 

I recently confronted my management again and had a big issue unfold. So I hear you there. Company did a good job overall though.

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