Restored journal

[Amphibian220]

I was considering video game goals from several games and made the following assessment :

They are based in quantity, because the coding software is not tailored to interpreting quality of work;

They are derived from dexterity of pressing buttons, remembering a combination of keys, pathfinding. these skills are not applicable in work or education. Any minor skill (ie learning english) is heavily outweighed by health problems caused by gaming.

The goals have to be easy to follow or otherwise the games that make goals very complex, take away more time from the player because he spends more time to master the game, causing frustration from lack of success feedback. 

Communication skills are absent in games. And what is present in the form of communication, makes a person lose the communication skills that they possessed before.

one pervasive aspect is the perception of completion: players continue playing games to complete something, because game designers are good at giving completion feedback.

In total, games take away the natural resistance in life that typically makes boys so powerful, independent, bright, honest in their communities. 

[Amphibian220]

The work stress is doing what video games used to do in the past. It blocks worries.

All work has some stress associated with it, but types of stress differ. Do we choose work based on the type of stress we encountered in the past as gamers?

[Amphibian220]

I used to play 2-3 hours of sport per day in the past and do all coursework as much as my time allowed. When i had tried speaking to other people i noticed mistakes in those people or threats in them. When i thought why Im blocking communication, i couldn't get the honest answer from myself.

When i went in to write an exam paper I hadn’t revised, I was going to successfully fail it, producing the best possible result in that situation. 

Until it dawned that fixation on being right means relying on criteria that aren't meant to produce success. Not seeing the main goal, meant that all these smaller rules were inconsequential. Put in a gray area situation, I couldn't trust myself and folded. Any lack of or rules meant instant defeat. 

. Such a shaky foundation to circumvent having to love and trust oneself. Its at those moments there is a short moment you need faith, you have to let go and enable the fight to play out. If you turn back, you will spend a long time trying to be right.

Edited February 15 by Amphibian220

[Amphibian220]

Any excess capacity that gets created through hard work, presents a dilemma. The initial thought is to channel it to the most relaxing activities. As I add to self development, I encounter a limit that cannot be surpassed without other more fundamental changes.

Extreme honesty presents conflicts ahead and prospects such as job insecurity, or a dispute with a neighbour etc. how can I navigate this ?

I can be more dutiful, responsible, more considering of other people’s concerns. In that case a conflict may happen in good faith, but not out of an ego.

Edited February 18 by Amphibian220

[Amphibian220]

Got food poisoned in a pub after work and couldn't resist from mentally constructing a strategy video game. Maybe its no big deal and I shouldn't pay so much attention to it.

[Yan]

On 2/20/2025 at 9:50 AM, Amphibian220 said:

Got food poisoned in a pub after work and couldn't resist from mentally constructing a strategy video game. Maybe its no big deal and I shouldn't pay so much attention to it.

I think it is a big deal. We must watch our thoughts and take the weeds out or else they will take over...
"As a man thinketh in his heart so is he"
"As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the
seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds
of thought, and could not have appeared without them.
This applies equally to those acts called "spontaneous"
and "unpremeditated" as to those, which are deliberately
executed."
-As a Man Thinketh, Woody Allen, First page

That said, you shouldn't judge yourself for your thoughts in my opinion as they appear without our control at times, but once you notice a "weedy" one, simply try to replace it with a new, desirable one.

Do not fall into the trap of trying to NOT think of something though. Replace it with another positive thought.

It is just like trying to NOT think of a pink elephant.
Try telling yourself "Do not think of a pink elephant, Do not think of a pink elephant, Do not think of a pink elephant"
Guess what you're going to end up thinking about? You guessed it... A pink elephant. So think of a "brown cat" or something instead 🙂

[Amphibian220]

Are we scapegoating video games?

i read a forum, where video game quitters are called deniers who have experienced abuse and who need to find a party to blame. So the video game habit is a convenient party.

It is circular. An alcoholic can claim he took to drinking because he was hurt, but didn’t the drink further lead to an inability to defend himself and others?. 

All these journals show one common behavioral pattern. It begins with being silent on issues one doesn’t agree with from a young age, to mostly forgetting that power and easy going attitude that he had as a child.

with cycling between heavy obsession to mild entertainment, absent mindedness creates a convenient way first to skip issues and defer solutions to circumstances alone, and then to forget goals altogether. 
 

Edited February 27 by Amphibian220

[Ikar]

On 2/10/2025 at 11:32 AM, Amphibian220 said:

The work stress is doing what video games used to do in the past. It blocks worries.

All work has some stress associated with it, but types of stress differ. Do we choose work based on the type of stress we encountered in the past as gamers?

That's an interesting idea. Sometimes, at least in my case, navigating free time is harder than navigating work-time. It's easier to be there with the students at the moment, because I know the scope of options is more limited. Limiting stress on students is a part of my job, because stressed students can't learn. I need to give them a plan to work on in order to learn, but only a bit by bit and at their own pace. Plus streamlined and careful negotiation makes business go smoothly.

I do agree that work overall blocks worries, because we actually do something and we don't sit and worry about what to do next. Action heals and beats overthinking.

On 2/27/2025 at 9:08 AM, Amphibian220 said:

Are we scapegoating video games?

i read a forum, where video game quitters are called deniers who have experienced abuse and who need to find a party to blame. So the video game habit is a convenient party.

It is circular. An alcoholic can claim he took to drinking because he was hurt, but didn’t the drink further lead to an inability to defend himself and others?. 

All these journals show one common behavioral pattern. It begins with being silent on issues one doesn’t agree with from a young age, to mostly forgetting that power and easy going attitude that he had as a child.

I think that's why I don't really have many fond memories of my childhood/teenage years. I didn't have a real say at school or at home. I could only wait until I was 18 to start living on my own terms and start being responsible for myself. I at least got the chance to stop chronically reacting to the outside world at 21 when I quit games. Learning how to be a helpless sheep is one of the worst things that school, family and society can teach an individual.

[Amphibian220]

Improvement over the last week:

Exercise in the gym before work.

Revised training materials for my new role.

How could I improve on my last week:

Try to slow down and tackle work that is less familiar to me to further develop my skill set.

@Ikar I have to train trainees at my work and I have purchased training materials after being unable to build rapport for some time. So the training materials turned out to be informative, even simple things like my presentation instills interest in them to listen.

Great that you use methods to reduce stress on them. I still have to get there.

Edited March 5 by Amphibian220

[Yan]

2 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Try to slow down and tackle work that is less familiar to me to further develop my skill set.

Nice insight. 🙂  Baby steps, tiniest change daily amount to huge ones in the long term.

[Amphibian220]

Weakness / threat

Having watched a documentary or an action film, there is a compulsive behavior of thinking of a better version of that film.

this habit hasn’t ever been tackled . It substitutes in a way displaying quality in my actual work.

[Yan]

On 3/6/2025 at 11:25 AM, Amphibian220 said:

Weakness / threat

Having watched a documentary or an action film, there is a compulsive behavior of thinking of a better version of that film.

this habit hasn’t ever been tackled . It substitutes in a way displaying quality in my actual work.

Well done. Stay sharp, as a Man Thinketh so Is He. Being mindful of our thoughts is very important in my opinion

[Amphibian220]

Having read Cameron’s letter, I have to concede that gamers avoid unfamiliar tasks and problems, conflict situations where control is limited, or giving a bit more in terms of effort and charity.

Addicts may second guess people that they encounter, and usually sabotage themselves before they can be offered a great prospect to learn something useful.

Edited March 12 by Amphibian220