Amphibian220

“No more mr nice guy” by Glover Exactly that: the change in social dynamics started creating too many feminine men. The boy lacked contact with his Dad, or kept hearing from his mother how bad he is. As a result this boy’s world view becomes very fallacious. He is embarassed of his masculinity, wants to please women (first mother, then wife etc). But working to gain approval of women will kill yor male personality and self worth, strip you of personal power and make you one of the most disgusting unattractive beings.

BgK, Loneliness is an oasis where you can truly discover your life purpose because there is no background noise and interference. If you are missing belonging to a group, what kind of feeling is it? Do you want to bond with other men over a great purpose? I am currently reading a book that talks about these issues in great detail. It focuses on men that form around women and lack enough contact with males to develop personal power and masculinity.

Natalie, What is the sugar detox you are talking about? Nothing sweet except fruit? Kobe Bryant sounds very familiar to me, can you remind who he was?

I will give a tip that I have given countless times on this forum. After jogging 3 miles, the craving for the fap will go away completely. Tell me if its true or not afterwards. Just any good cardio where you a break a sweat and temper your eating habits. You dont need to battle a craving after this.

What does SOB stand for?

What do you mean? Do you dress like a teenager? What actions do you perform that you think make you look strange?

I want you to carry on with this mentality Jordan. Its ok that the success will not come in a week, month, maybe 8 or 10 months of grinding work, loving your interests, being open to people, perfecting your skills, you will become a great person. Im feeling very strange, I sort of know what to do every day, but.. What does it mean to love yourself? Looking after your hygiene, physical fitness etc. yet Glover says this in his book: ”The irony is that no one really values Cal for his attachments. Further, his dependency for external validation actually prevents people from getting to know him just as he is. None of the things have to do anything with who he is as a person. Nevertheless, they are the things he believes give him identity and value” So what should I love myself for if not for the things I do? Love my culture? Or does he mean loving certain things about myself irrespective of what others think?

Cenopatia Did you ask yourself why you choose to play rather than do something else? This question holds the key to recovery. I responded to this question when I was 16 years old in the following way: “because gaming is just like any other task, be it sport, socializing, cleaning the household etc” The following couple of years illustrated to me my mistaken belief. Success is “hard coded”. What this means is that you will hit a certain barrier as a gamer after which no amount of mental reframing will make you feel that you’re okay spending days playing. If the president of the country and his ministers would have told you that you’re okay as a gamer, you still wouldn’t be able to reframe it. Same goes for alcoholism and gambling. This realization made me cautious and I haven’t reverted.

Mind to say how old you are and how long you played games for before coming on here and challenging yourself?

3 miles is a good workout! I feel the pressure on me to perform now.

BooksandTrees You know what man. I also craved women, but how do you keep a clear head with them? If you dont control her, she starts causing trouble for you. My first boxing coach (former participant in the Olympics for USSR) treated me like a younger brother, and this kind of mentorship gave me a lot of security. Then came my teacher who loved me like a brother. There was so much security in these relationships and so much growth mentally and physically, but with women it is tricky. I need to find brothers to solve my issues.

I wasn’t questioning your communicative skills at all as its obvious from your post you feel you are well developed in that respect. By becoming ‘fit’ I meant recovering fully from the addiction as you said particular women can be a ‘trigger’ causing you to relapse.

@BooksandTrees Do you think you will eliminate triggers if you reduce communication with women ? Try it out for a week. If you start getting a clear head, good focus and a very good up-beat mood, then you may just continue. You will find the woman of your life, but you have to be fit for that moment.

Shine Magical, have you moved to live in a rural area? Judging by the fact that the nearest grocery store is far away. It is something I am considering. When I see the countryside I get a lot healthier.

@Ikar Intentions really do define whether you get sexual stress or develop social skills with women. If you are meeting to possibly become husband and wife, it does not stress you out looking her in the eyes and talking to her. You may just take a look at her body too and if she is dressed okay (nothing revealing) you are still okay because you know there are prospects for something greater to come along. But if you are just admiring women here and there, sexual stress is the only thing you are going to carry away (nothing in the way of social skills)

Welcome to game Quitters. May this entry become a turning point in your life. I love South Africa, you have given this world some extraordinary men of achievement.

BooksandTrees This is what worried me from your posts. When a man sees women in revealing clothing, he experiences a good feeling followed by sexual stress. The stress comes because by nature a man needs coitus every time he experiences arousal, but he doesn’t get it. Then unsatisfied desire gets pushed into your subconscious. A man can receive dozens of signals like this in one day. A constant life like this can then cause problems for your health. I taught myself to lower my gaze on street etc and just avoid gyms that have women in them. The gym I go to is a martial arts men only gym. I obey this command because I know I will save my health many years down the line.

Jordan, You have my recognition and everybody else’s here who supports you. You have your family and people that depend on you, even your dog. Focus on things within your control. When I read about what a great day you had, I was so pumped I followed through on all of my tasks on that day. keep moving even if it is just a crawl. I am going to have my boxing session now and just pummel that punching bag.

Yoda way? Who was yoda? I got so angry at my gaming addiction, I picked up the big monitor (they were not flat screens like you guys have now, they were proper big boxes back in early 2000), carried it to a local yard and then looked for a stone. Next that stone blew out the screen of the monitor.

Wish you luck John. Something I did during my academic stage when preparing for exams : 1) memorizing material while walking in the room. This gives you added blood circulation 2) not missing snack breaks. They are important not only for energy, but a break for your brain to process all memorized material 3) doing light exercise (like 10 quick pushups)

Natalie, What is it about ?

Hey Jordan Discovering your life purpose is a constant work in progress. If I was you I would set intermediate goals. When I was 16 years old, I came second in a long distance run competition in my class and felt proud of it. My family was surprised at this. I also opted for some volunteering opportunities.

Netzwerker, What are your new activities? Have you made new connections, found some sport or activity that gives you a sense of development and stimulates you mentally? Just keeping away from games and feeling good about it isn’t going to work. I agree that small success can be an impostor which makes you feel complacent. Take on more responsibility and get people to depend on you. That way there will always be something pushing you forward.

Oh ok. Going off meat completely will seriously drain you of energy. The healthiest diet is a varied one from my experience- so one day its fish, the other meat, then veggie etc. If you keep trying new things, its the healthiest thing for your organism. The bad thing is when you eat exact same things each day. The organism grows tired from lack of variety.

Jay Do you want to change the format of the date? like tell her to take a friend and you will take somebody you trust with you. What if this support will smooth things out and will melt your doubts and self-criticism?