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BgK

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  1. Strictly productive throughout the whole day might not be a good plan. I try to reward myself with some sort of high dopamine activities after a day with low dopamine activities. That balances things up and is more doable for myself. I think it’s ok to not be productive all the time and we shall not beat ourselves too hard for failing to be productive some time.
  2. Day 171 Found an interesting YT video talking about how to “tricked your brain to do hard things”. Recently I found it really hard to get motivation. I also relapsed once and gamed 3 days... This video talks about using a rewarding mechanism, which I am fascinated to try out. It makes sense. I heard some stories about a body builder eating strictly health for two years, then he had enough of the thing. Yes, achieving that is extraordinary and had huge benefit on his fitness, at the same time, according to his own words, painful. Then he switched to a diet plan that allows some guilty pleasure two meals a week. That makes himself more willing to stick to his diet, benefiting and doable, generally more sustainable. Beating procrastination is the same. I used to do strictly productive activities all day long, even studied something before I went to bed. I am surprised I do that for 160+ days but that’s, painful. Almost against human nature. I would like to come up with a rewarding activity or activities, to reward myself 10 mins for each hour of productive but low dopamine activities I nail down during the day. What could this be? I am not too sure about gaming, as I am still trying to avoid it altogether. Maybe badminton, or hang out with friends, or browsing the internet for political scandals. Things I am grateful for today: Everybody is imperfect, an amount of faults are allowed and everybody who is not a superhero.does make mistakes. Some make more than others. I don’t need to be 100% perfect to be accepted.
  3. I can relate to you mate. I often end up watching youtube or browsing the internet. Not that I give up on the fight, but it seems to throw me into YT not matter how hard I try. I understand when you say rational thinking can’t counter these thoughts. I know a way that definitely works on counter this. We game not because we just game, we are trying to get something out of gaming. Same goes for using social media, even browsing randomly. People might think it does not seem like we are trying to get anything when browsing randomly. Well, we are trying to fill the void inside. To go deeper, what does the void mean? How does it occur in the first place? Maybe because a person is feeling lonely, maybe he is needing a sense of success from gaming and he cannot get that since quitting, maybe he is overwhelmed by stresses in life, you name it. Most of the time we don’t want to think about those reasons, because they are the vulnerable parts of us. But facing those vulnerable parts of us is the first thing we need to heal and set free from them. How do we do it? You can write on your journal at home, talk to a mate, etc. Sometimes people wrongly believe “Man should not cry about their hurts”, but it’s those who can look at their hurts in the eyes that are the real man. I am on this journey. Although it’s not smooth sailing, like everything else in life, but when I really face my problems head on I get no desires no urges whatsoever to browsing and watching. Because I know the root cause of my urges and I can deal with the root causes directly. This is just my 2 cents.
  4. @gargamelThanks bud. Let’s do this!
  5. So, what’s the root cause or causes? Can I say I just want to game? What then, does gaming bring to people? What do people gain after gaming? One reason, is that it brings confidence. Especially for competitive gamers, those who are good at their games. In the game, one can be so strong and skilful with reigning influences, which draw the praises, the admirations and the respects so naturally. These things just boost ones confidence like a firing rocket. Then, for a gamer who abandon his real life for a period of time, to go back to life and get the same level of admirations from people, is impossible. To master a craft in a real life takes a while, a while is 10000 hours according to one theory. While one plowing hard in the life with sweats and dirt and does not see immediate result, the monster of gaming just waving his hands right in your pocket. Confidence is a big thing. The sudden drop of confidence right after Day 1 of quitting gaming is a big, well, huge obstacle in the journey. I am able to climb the obstacle with sheer will, however I don’t want to boast about it. The obstacle of confidence did not go away even after 157 days free of gaming. It’s like a rock on a rope tied to me and slows me down moving forward. However, I don’t regret me taking this path to walk the journey. The journey itself has been really rewarding with things I cannot imagine in the past. Then I still hope to untie this rope and release the rock of lacking confidence, so that I can run right into the future, Lol. However I don’t know how to untie this rope, well, not yet.
  6. Day 153 It sucks that the desire of wanting to play still stick around. It really sucks. From psychological prospectives, desires are not just desires that come naturally, well except sexual desires, hunger and survival instincts. But desires like gaming and browsing the internet come with a deeper root cause I believe. According to psychology once the root cause gets exposed and dealt with accordingly, the desire will go away. That’s exactly what I plan to do, get rid of that desire of always thinking about gaming when I am stressed. I will write about my journey in this process, failures and successes and the in-betweens. I will update this journal occasionally but not regularly, due to my commitments and the nature of this method(takes a while to see the result).
  7. welcome to the forum chilliflavor. Gaming is a big part, well, huge part of us. Giving up on that seems like a denial of oneself, but that's not the truth. Think about all the things that you might gain after quitting, get you motivation written down and stick it on the wall helps. Good luck and see you around😇
  8. The article is an very interesting read! I can relate so much to it. One thing I found it useful so far, is something Tim urban also mentioned, to create the 'Panic monster' on purpose (oh I love his illustrations!). @Alexanderle Let me reserve my thoughts on your belief of the non existence of gratification monkey, which I believe it does make a visit after prolonged periods of procrastination (in any form including gaming) in the past. One thing you tap into that I can also resonate, is finding the things one loved to do to replace those things that are not so loved. This is like an 'active defense' I will call it, or defense by attacking. It gives you a sense of control and confidence, because you are making choices rather than dealing with the balls that life throws at you. Confidence also boost our possibility to win the battles against procrastination.
  9. Wow, it has an impact to hear this warning from someone addicted to card games. I am thinking card games are ok because they dont stimulate as much and people only play the cards. At the same time I am worried that playing it will open the door to gaming and possibly pave the way to more stimulating games. Not sure if I can steer back even if I am 150+ days games free. Would love you thoughts on this subject.
  10. You think your story is different? Then here you have a company Lol. Quit gaming 5 months ago, still battling with the desire to watch YouTube and telegram. I guess they provide an instant satisfaction while hard working in life hardly provide a satisfaction as strong or as fast.
  11. Day 153 Wow, it’s been a while. I am proud to passed the mark of 90 days! It’s something I could not imagine when I started. At day 0, I was driven by the fire in my heart, at the same time not sure what this journey would take me to. Now looking back, I have mix emotions. The journey was certainly not easy. For me, it involved a lot of will power and wrestling with different thoughts. Not sure is it just me or some of you also had a hard journey wrestling with thoughts and desires to game all along the way? One thing I found interesting, is the lockdown in my city didn’t make my journey(of quitting gaming) harder in any way. I just came out of a one month lock down that nobody was allowed to go out except for shopping essentials. I was able to fight the desire quite easily with well planned activities day by day:) Then now after the lockdown, my journey became very tough. There are suddenly too many things one can do, but the energy and time of a person is limited. To make sure the body is not burnt out, choosing resting in front of the temptations of making money become a choice needing a lot of grit to make. Does any of you experience similar situations after the lockdown? Things I am grateful today: I have a job I joined gamequitter
  12. Hi Alex, I read you introduction and it’s very similar to my story. I am 25 now and felt like my years have been wasted in games. I now realise gaming is a coping mechanism for all my social stresses, financial stresses and life stresses in general. Stresses and gaming put me in the pit of moderate depression and anxiety, which I don’t wish to stay in for any longer. Recently I come to know someone who started his life again in his 40s. He was thin and pale, miserable and all and got divorced in his 40s. He had enough with a miserable life . After divorce he went to university again, later started his business. Now he is in his 70s and ran a couple of marathons. Strong, healthy and rich. I hope his story reminds us that it’s not too late to start the sh*t all over again.
  13. Day 68 The last several days have been a seesaw battle against the urge to game. At the time when there was nothing to do to fill the void (this situation does happen) I fought the urge with sheer will. I wonder is using sheer a possible way to do this 90 days challenge? I won all the battles, but often ended up at places like YouTube, reddit, occasionally at other websites which you know what they are. Cam’s theory about different types of gamer is a thought provoking theory. I am the escaping type, gaming is like a safe place to breathe when things are too tough. In theory, it will be most helpful to learn more strategies to cope with stress. I also found this Lonerwolf website very helpful. It talks about how to reconcile with one’s self through shadow work. I am quite looking forward to devote my time every morning for a period of self reflection, aiming to reconcile the black and white within me, hence becoming a more authentic person. Starting from tomorrow! Things I am grateful for today: Found this Lonerwolf website People prayed for me and I knew they cared Having my job that’s flexible and I can take time off to work on the weak aspects in my life
  14. Congrats that you passed the big exam! I believe most of us here all trying to rise from ashes, making achievements from failures.
  15. You have a point, gaming can be an escape from problems. Although most people don’t want to escape from problems, I believe. Everybody wants to be competent. Everybody wants to live a life free from all the emotional burdens. I read in a book written by a master of communication, that the problem is not hard, it’s the emotions that come with the problem make the things hard. The best way he recommends of dealing with a problem is to allow the emotions to run it’s course. I am still trying to work out how this works.