Hitaru

Welcome!

@Regular Robert Videos and audios can be added to the YouTube channel and podcast respectively, so by all means yes! Raw, honest life experiences are also encouraged, as long as they are in compliance with Rule #1.

Happy New Year folks! There's been a pause in my journal due to: 1. Was returning/resting from travel, 2. In Spain is still holidays until 6th of January, so I went with the flow and took it easy. That said, that rest was much more unhealthy that I intended. I spent some days in the famous couch doing nothing (also sick, but probably would have been healthy much earlier with a bit of effort on my part), actively avoiding taking strong action to get this new year rolling. Then yesterday my bf stopped by for a quick visit (btw, our relationship somehow survived the trip together (?)), we spent the night together and since we had to wake up early, I could seize the opportunity to shake off the grime. Cut my beard to comfortable but less badass standards (?) and also my hair, did some tasks I was procrastinating, ate healthy, had a nice day overall. Aaaaand then my mother attacked my self-esteem with a horribly-timed comment and then proceeded to gaslight as usual. Having a family argument in Spain on the 5th of January is, culturally speaking, one of the greatest sins you can imagine, the lowest of low. Funny because she recognizes I almost never get angry, but sometimes I "fall off character". Then maybe could it be because I believe it's actually relevant for the core of who I am? Nah of course not, it must be I love to quarrel, despite almost never doing it. Odd, huh? She asked for "just a little bit of peace" and truth be told, the situation at home has worsened while I was away. My grandma is completely out of it, barely functional and it's going to get worse. That will lead to at least a serious economic burden, since the emotional implications of my grandma becoming dependent are never adressed, as nothing emotinal is ever adressed in my home. But the money is a bad thing enough. In fact money is also never addressed as well. We had a rough time with my father when I was growing up, so now sitting down and making sense of the numbers fills my mother with an irrational dread. She just prefers to spend until we run out, then borrows from my grandma's savings and pension (she's legally allowed to), then rationalizes it as a "compensation" for having her at home. My uncle of course would argue otherwise, but an arrange was made and there was a statu-quo. If we have to hire a helping hand, this situation falls down completely. That, or I mortgage my future as an improvised caretaker. My posture is clear: I will not burden myself (and in the future will not burden my family) unless there is any other option. So, a helping hand it is. Apparently in all this there's no time for my mother to invest 5 minutes a day in verbally supporting my identity, so I'll have to do it myself. And get a job. Me getting a job is a fucking meme in this journal, but I'm reaching that point that I wanted to avoid where life pushes me and not the other way around. Shit, I quit games precisely to not reach this point. And shit, I just knew the moment I was the slightest ready for taking the next step (and of course I'm not even half-ready) the same life would pull this damn prank on me. Someone mentioned the finnish concept of 'sisu' before. So sisu be it. She'll have her peace. Much more than she expects. Count on it.

Have you gone through the 90 Day Detox and think you have some interesting lessons to share? Then how about writing a case study? A case study is longer and more detailed than a celebration post. It's a summary of your journey, as detailed as you want, in the format of a blog article (they are posted in the Case Study section of the main website linked above). You can write about what feels important to you, but ideally a case study should cover: - When did you first played video games? What brought you to them?* (What did you like about gaming the most: Challenge, Escape, Growth and Socialization. Or perhaps something else?) - How was your situation before video games? How did games influenced this situation? (Were you having trouble at school and games were useful to procrastinate, did you use them as a social activity with friends, etc.) - When did you first noticed you were playing too much? (Where would you draw that line between games being a fun pastime and games being essential to your normal functioning.) - What negative effects and consequences manifested into your life while/because of playing games? (Physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, professionally...) - When was the turning point and what was the trigger that led you to decide going through the Detox? (Was it related to finding out about Game Quitters, or content created by Game Quitters?) - What were the positive and negative sensations that you experienced DURING the Detox? What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them? What changes have you implemented to your lifestyle? (Or did you just abstain from games and did nothing else as some sort of experiment. Whatever your experience was, really.) - What were the positive and negative sensations that you experienced AFTER the Detox? How does your life look like now? Was the Detox a positive experience, or would you advise against it? (You can trash talk about us if we truly ruined your life (?)) - Overall, has your life improved during and after the Detox, stayed the same or worsen? (How has the Detox influenced in your current life?) Your story will help people that are also considering taking the Detox, raise awareness about video game addiction being a real thing (seriously, we still are at this stage...!) and help the research of people such as Dr. Daniel King, who made a study with us a while ago about the effects of temporal abstinence of video games in the brain and the addiction process. It may look as "things that just happened in your life", but your experience is actually really valuable. We're looking forward to learn about you! Have you just learned about Game Quitters and don't know what the Detox is, but have you been without games for 90 days or more? Check this video and feel free to write as well! You can submit your story here. If you have questions you can contact me (@Hitaru) by PM or mail (in my profile info)

@Cam Adair in 2017: EXPANSION. 2018: SAVAGE What is this about? Last year Cam posted this video. You know about New Years Resolutions: they are usually highly unrealistic goals we set for ourselves that mostly end in wishful thinking (at least 9 out of 10 according to some studies). But instead of something we believe we need to do with urgency (survival mindset), how about we start thinking about who do we want to become? Quitting video games without delving into the deeper reasons that lead us to play is only abstinence. It doesn't solve anything in the long term. Sure, going through the detox or quitting smoking, or losing weight, or getting a job is a foundation for a better life. But why are you doing all this, what is your end goal? Are you doing what you are doing to thrive, or to escape forward and kill time? So here's an exercise for you: pick a word. This word is going to be the basis of your actions, your intention for this year. What is the thing that you need in your life the most right now, that reflects what are you aiming to, the person you see in your daydreams? Describe it in one word and keep it in mind for the whole year. Sounds good? What will your word for 2018 be, and why?

Must say, @Mhyrion is even cuter in person while I'm even uglier (?) Also I'm really happy that she took the initiative to suggest posting the pic, if it depended on me I would have hesitated a lot more (kind of self-conscious about my appearance and that). Talk about improvement, this girl is pure awesome!

Ever heard this quote from Yoda?: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate... leads to suffering." You're at a crossroads right now and that is scary as hell. You get frustrated at yourself and angry about the lack of control you have over the situation and your life, which is actually all the time for us humans, we barely have control over what happens but during life we're too busy and distracted doing stuff to care or even notice; except for these times when we're forced to stop, choose another direction and build momentum towards that direction. If you let this anger get the better of you then comes the doubts and insecurities and thinking/talking shit about yourself: the hate, of yourself. Then you suffer. You get depressed, reinforce this pattern. Understand your fear and embrace it man. It's ok to feel like you don't know what the fuck are you going to do next (who knows, we're all future-blind), but at the same time trust sincerely you'll come up with something at the right time. You've been doing it during all your life until now, think about it.

Amazing words.

Who manages to lose two jobs? People who care to try. Not that people who land in the first shitty job they can get and their lives turn into a dark spiral of meaningless habit. You can look for another job while in this one if you don't like it, but don't just give up. You can do it (and I don't mean the woo-woo optimism of this community )

Learn from the experience and apply it my friend, just that

Glad to see you posting again, despite the circumstances. Or maybe because of them. Writing won't give you an immediate answer, but it'll provide you with an outlet for your emotions, a place to put your thoughts in order, and I think you'll make great use of that. Being negative hurts the addict, I can tell you that much. It was painful for me to see my mother acting like I would never escape from that and live independently (which I still don't bc spanish sociocultural and my own shortcomings, but much less toxic now); that mindset of her helped me to rationalize that spending all my time gaming was "my rightful place". But being openly optimistic can also make him insecure and frustrated because "my family expects me to get better and I actually can't/they don't understand I can't/they can't understand my struggle/whatever other excuse". Because in the end they are. If he wants to find a reason to keep living like that he will, no matter how delusional may look to the outside world, it will make sense for him. I've done that thousands of times. I believe the only realistic and impactful thing you can do to help him is leading by example. You will graduate and trust me, that dark corner of him will think: there's my sister who is now a member of society/parent's favorite/she had it so easy/we're so different/I'll never be able to do that. But it will make him think. That's a first step. If he makes passive-aggressive comments, either then or during his birthday, I would confront him with the plain truth: "You know how things are. You know you're now 33 and you have a problem, or a lot of problems, whatever you prefer to see it. You know you're leaning onto me and family to maintain your current lifestyle and it's hurting us both. You know you're projecting this to me and the rest of the world whenever you feel bad or realize that this is unsustainable, and your head tries to make us into the culprits or you into the oppressor; and you also know that's a lie to yourself to dodge the real issue. You know that we actually love you fiercely and will support you fully if you make the actual right decision, and you actually know what decision is; that it will hurt you a fucking lot to go through it even if it's worth it, which we both think it is, and it looks terrifying in the mind to face it, and that's why you've been trying to drown it under tons of games and bullshit for years. And you know you won't be able to do this forever, no matter how much you woe and complain. It's about you. It's about taking action now and confronting yourself and it will never, ever be about anything else than this. And you got me for this and I got your back for this and only for this. I'll support you with all my heart when you start doing right, and only then. You know more about the life you want for yourself than you'd like to pretend, willingly or not. Make your choices". At least, that's what I would have probably wanted to hear, I won't be so arrogant to say it would have helped me or help your brother. You're strong, don't despair!

The first days are very challenging, but you have this as an opportunity to discover and connect with yourself. It's going to be hard to develop a good relationship with your deepest feelings after years of neglect (I know it's hard for me as well) but you're doing great. Be brave and be kind with yourself.

Woah, you were good already, but you've certainly improved! It would be amazing if you dropped some tutorials or useful stuff around in the Lifestyle section. Lot of guys here that love drawing and designing. Welcome back!

>Retro >You're literally 16 It hurts bro. I mean I'm not the oldest one in this community by far but... yeah haha. Hopak you mean the Ukrainian/cossack dance? Amazing stuff! Welcome to the forum!

How did it feel that gaming session, mind to share? (learning about post-detox sensations is relevant too)

Know those feels man. Best to cut the ropes and sail free if things are going that way. It's painful, but in the end you'll find someone more fitted to the man your becoming and will become. You're doing great and all those challenges and negative sensations you're experiencing, they'll pass if you give it patience and kindness. That orange's maturing bro!

Would love to read it for sure Amazing job good sir!

I was starting to miss you! Yep handling the family is an global thing, but it's all about healthy boundaries. Respecting each other space and that.

"Not just about games, but to live life to the fullest". You're on the right path

These last two posts were pure epicness my mate. If someone asks "Yo what's this stuff Game Quitters about". This. This is Game Quitters about. These two posts.

Also you hide part of your skin when smiling (???)

Drawing is an activity I would recommend to anyone. It can be both relaxing and challenging, you can see measurable progress in your skill, and it's really marketable when done right.

Glad to have you here with us mate!

Welcome to the forum @shaggy!