Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

Dirac's Journal


dirac
 Share

Recommended Posts

Day 11 -> success

Good day, went to the gym was productive for uni. I started they day severly questioning whether no gaming will do anything for me and ended up being more sure than ever that no game will improve my life a lot!

Dont have that much to say as I already posted two times today. Tomorrow I am gonna have a productive day again!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 12 -> success

I wasnt as productive as I wanted to be because I felt quite bad, like I slept bad or smth. But I actually ended up being way more productive than I usually was on days like that. While I was still gaming I would have seen this as an excuse to slack off and just game all day but instead I just did as much as I could. 

So huge win for no gaming 🙂 I will go to bed early tonight so I can start working early in the morning

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

So been quite some time since my last post. For the majority of the last months I was doing pretty well so I didnt really feel like posting anymore but lately it hasnt been too good. I have a long exam period since february and I am just so exhausted with studying that I turn to gaming all the time because I just want to procrastinate so bad. I just dont want to study anymore, and if I dont game I just watch youtube or netflix instead...

So this is what lead me to post again. I am unsatisfied with my gaming and watching habits and I felt like journaling could help me deal with it a little better.

There is so much on my mind right now, also how I am really starting to suffer from this constant lockdown situation, not being able to see my friends regurlarly, having all university and work related things online and on my computer and then also spending most of my free time on the computer... 

But I have been thinking a lot lately about this whole situation and I want to make some changes. I will stop spending my free time on the computer because its just too much in combination with everything else. I also want to stop eating my meals in front of my computer because my lunch breaks always stretch out unnecessary long and I lose so much time because of that. I will not go fully no gaming though, because the two evenings a week where I play minecraft with my best friend are basically the highlights of my week and I honestly believe that this has a positive impact on my life right now. I also want to wake up earlier. Not sure yet if I wanna make it 8 or 7...

@BornAgain40 yes exactly its yami 🙂 I also love that anime sooo much! I find it very inspiring 

@WhoCares glad to hear my posts mattered to people 🙂 how have you been? I will check out your journal in the next days when I have time!

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, I was just thinking about you a few hours ago, decided to check your journal and was saddened that you stopped writing. And a few hours later you’re back. Not even sure what to say, just wow. Welcome back I guess. 

1 hour ago, dirac said:

how have you been? I will check out your journal in the next days when I have time!

Well, I’m alright, could’ve been better I guess, I relapsed so many times that I can’t even count. But here I am with my 3 days streak without games lmao.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today was a good day. This might have been my most productive day in a week or so, even though I woke up late and had a chill breakfast with my girlfriend, maybe thats even the reason why today went so well. Usuayll I spend my morning eating breakfast alone and watching a show called modern family on netflix but I decided that my mornings are better spend in the living room breakfasting with my significant other. I also didnt eat lunch in front of my pc, so my lunch break was shorter and more recovering than usual. 

I went for a run in the late afternoon and listened to a podcast with Jordan Peterson and Mark Manson who is the Author of "the subtle art of not giving a f*ck" . I didnt read the book but the conversation they had was very inspiring. If anyone is interested here is the link: 

 

 

I felt much more calm today and was able to concentrate quite well while studying. Maybe this is simply coming from not spending every free minute watching nonsense. Tomorrow I am planning to be productive as well. I have two meetings around midday. In the morning I will mostly work and maybe get a bit of studying in, in the afternoon I will study and a little later I will work out. The two most important things for me tomorrow will be not watching anything during the breakfast and lunch and second to have a productive afternoon after those meetings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@WhoCares haha thats a funny coincidence!  Dont forget not to be too hard on yourself, every step counts and even if you oscillate like an investment stock, your overall trajectory is what counts and the fact that you are still active on this forum is already a big win. I am mostly back for the journaling... at the moment I feel like gaming is less of a problem for me than reddit netflix and youtube but I guess in the end its all the same.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sadly I forgot to post yesterday. However it was a really great day I have to say. I was working well in the morning and then studied productively in the afternoon. I also worked out in the evening and played some minecraft with my best friend at night. So this morning I am skipping a meeting  because at the moment I have enough on my mind with my exam next week and my job. I feel a bit bad about it but the meeting is optional anyways and the last couple of times I havent gotten anything from it. 

Today I will focuss on studying as much as I can and do some chores like grocery shopping and cooking. I will later meet with a friend to workout a little. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the link. Mark Manson is one of my favorite bloggers and I like how Peterson approaches self development 😄 Interesting Cast. Looking forward to listen to them

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@dirac Yeah, I think as long as I’m trying, everything will be alright. By the way, may I ask you, I need to learn physics from 0 to high school level in 2 months, could you recommend something? I have almost unlimited time to study per day and I’m used to self-learning. Thanks in advance!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@WhoCares Hm could you specify high school level a bit more? Like which branches of physics do you need to learn, and how deep of an understanding do you need ? Is it more about solving problems or understanding concepts ? The most general book that I know and also used myself is Phyics from Douglas C. Giancoli but its quite expensive and sadly I dont have it as a pdf. It covers basically every aspect of experimental phyics for undergrads (so its a little above high school I guess). Its about 1000 pages and also contains lots of problems. To be honest I didnt have physics in high school, I just kind of decided to get a degree in it and had to study like crazy the first couple of semesters because I had no background at all. So I kind of skipped the high school part. 

You could also check out some online learning platforms like khan academy, this is also a very good way to study.

Do you need to study for some kind of test or are you just preparing for university ?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So today went pretty well for me, I studied quite a bit and it was productive. I also felt good in general. I went to workout with a friend and for the first time in months I felt really good and happy. I think I was a little bit depressed for the past two or three months and I am know starting to feel better. I feel way less angry and happier in general. I guess it might just have been due to the dark and cold winter months coupled with the lockdown and online classes due to covid. I am also enjoying studying again, the previous weeks it was always just such a drag.... 

So tomorrow more studying and a workout!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, dirac said:

Do you need to study for some kind of test or are you just preparing for university ?

Well, in Russia in order to go to university, you have to pass a test for required subjects. List of subjects depends on what you’re aiming for. I have to write algebra, Russian language and physics. The exam is made by the government and unified. As far as I know, you have to know a bit about every section of physics. I’ll take a look on the book you’ve mentioned. I guess all I have to do is to read some textbooks and I’ll get it. My problem is that I was only interested in electronics, thus learning only that. Well it’s time to fill the void in my knowledge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@dirac

I read his first book "Models" and his second one, "The Subtle Art of not giving a Fuck". I enjoyed both content wise. But I also like his style. He is a funny dude.
I can highly recommend his blog "https://markmanson.net/best-articles". Maybe you could start there to get a sense if he is for you. The books are similar to his blog posts but obviously bigger in scope.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@WhoCares ah I see. If its standardized can you get old tests with the solutions? I always found this to be by far the best way to prepare for an exam, to study with previous exams. Good luck !

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today was a solid day . I studied well and had a nice workout. However I am in a process of changing my evening routine, because lately I have been playing dota on the evenings again and I dont even enjoy it most of the time. Its just the easiest and most obvious thing to do for me and I want to change that. I would like to spend my evenings differently, I would like to develop a reading habit. Even though its almost bedtime for me I will read a little now, just to get this started. My plan for the year was to read 12 books and I havent even read 1 yet..... so I better pick up the pace. I tried reading in the morning a couple of times which is nice but I always feel stressed because I should be studying instead. Well well lets see how it goes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, dirac said:

@WhoCares ah I see. If its standardized can you get old tests with the solutions? I always found this to be by far the best way to prepare for an exam, to study with previous exams. Good luck !

Yeah I can, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

I’ve downloaded the book that you’ve mentioned, gonna take a look. Thanks!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The last days went by pretty smoothly. I studied well but not hard but its what I need right now. I also figured that I rather finish my master with the second or third best grade and have a life and not get burned out. I feel like I focuss way too much on grades and its making me miserable. The last time I got the second best possible grade I felt like a complete and utter failure for a couple of days. Even though I basically put my entire private life on hold while studying. Its just not worth it. Gaming hasnt really been a problem in the last days. But I had a minore breakdown because I felt like the studying wasnt going as well as I had hoped but it turned out today that its actually going really well. I cant wait to have this exam on wednesday behind me. Then I will have a couple of free days before the next semester starts. 

I also bought the audiobook "the subtle art of not giving a fck" and its amazing. Most of the issues he addresses are real problem areas for me, especially entitlement. Hes also talking about the metrics and values one has and this really got me thinking because I think my metrics are really sh*t especially when it comes to university. As previously mentioned I feel like a complete loser if I dont get a perfect grade or if one of my friends is better than me. This has to stop somehow.

The next two days I will just be studying more and also get some work done for my job.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today marks a funny day. Its the first time in ages I want to quit gaming again. I have been feeling miserable since yesterday already because I am so stressed about my exam tomorrow. Its kind of my ritual to always spend the whole day gaming before an exam, I do it because I can afford it as I start early enough with the studying and I get so tensed up the day prior to an exam that it would be pointless to study either way. However I have been feeling like I have been performing completely beneath my capabilities during the last semester. Not only at university but in general. I played a lot of video games, watched lots of youtube and netflix and barely had any consistency in my life altogether. I keep on planning cool projects that I want to do, then I get excited about them and completely stop after a week or two. This applies to hobbies, uni, working out and many other areas. 

But I feel like the spring is also lifting up my mood a lot and like I am feeling a bit better and more clear in general. So starting from today I will not play video games alone anymore. I will occasionally play a round of minecraft with my best friend who lives far away but this is usually 1-2 evenings per week. This time never felt wasted to me and I enjoy it everytime. But the gaming by myself I regret most of the time and its just wasted time I could be doing something else. And I dont want that anymore. I am almost twenty seven and there is so much stuff I havent done yet that. So much that I could have accomplished by now if I were a little more consistent and wouldnt bounce back to gaming everytime I feel bad or am just too bored.

Today is obviously day number 0 but I am uninstalling steam and my games as the first step. Lets do it

  • Like 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share