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10 hours ago, Vera said:

@BooksandTrees my colleague is going to show up tomorrow, I'm very happy about it! 

I'm quite tired. The day was tough, but I had nice evening. Since I have freshly installed Linux, I am taking my time to set it up and make myself comfortable. I learn something new every day and I like it. And thanks to the programmer who created Redshift, it's absolutely beautiful.

I also picked up a new book. 

Which book? I also think I'm going to permanently leave the discord btw. I really just don't like the people there for the most part. I don't know. I like helping some of the people on there, but I'm so tired of seeing the assholes on there who were clearly the toxic gamers we hated seeing. They try to quit and are extremely elitist and don't know how to be polite socially or give respect to others.

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23 hours ago, Vera said:

thanks to the programmer who created Redshift, it's absolutely beautiful.

and thank you for mentioning this. I currently have been using xflux to automatically reduce blue light once the sun has set yet having just found Redshift in the Arch repos I am interested to try it out! So many ways to maximize productivity with FOSS on Linux. My top 3 productivity programs right now is i3-gaps window manager, Calcurse CLI organizer, and Ranger the CLI file manager! CLI apps are really great overall from trimming down time loading the programs to doing faster work of things with a keyboard rather than a mouse. Vim is also really noteworthy for how often I use it to quickly edit configuration files without waiting on a GUI program to load. :5_smiley:

 6176948_Screenshotfrom2019-07-0513-20-52.thumb.png.6ee622d9b395fd9150f09b2a83519573.png

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Yeah the Discord live chat aspect does make it rather simple to get attached to. Useful platform to attract people interested to stop gaming but usefulness really ends there and again it is chat so it's rather a frequent thing there to be attaching your energy to trolls and people crying they don't know what to do .. oh and the people who are on the server and play games all the time! Good place to attract em here and get em thinking but that's all. You know .... 

.. there, I left the discord also. I think bots providing the discord chat with useful information is the way to make the most out of that place. 🔇

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6 minutes ago, goodvibes said:

Yeah the Discord live chat aspect does make it rather simple to get attached to. Useful platform to attract people interested to stop gaming but usefulness really ends there and again it is chat so it's rather a frequent thing there to be attaching your energy to trolls and people crying they don't know what to do .. oh and the people who are on the server and play games all the time! Good place to attract em here and get em thinking but that's all. You know .... 

.. there, I left the discord also. I think bots providing the discord chat with useful information is the way to make the most out of that place. 🔇

I wrote a very large piece about why I was disgruntled with the discord, but I deleted it. It was 7 paragraphs about my frustrations with it and why I feel it's very limiting as well as potentially toxic in different ways. I deleted it because I felt it might offend some people and I was tired of writing about frustrating topics (another reason I don't want to do stand up comedy. I don't want to be in a negative mood all the time and repeat the same stuff). But that's something we can talk about on my diary so we don't spam Vera's diary lol. 

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Guys, you're welcome here 😄 I don't want to leave Discord, I just got tired from being so connected all the time, I need a break.

Btw, my weekend was basically me trying to stop watching so much YouTube, I swear it's extremely easy to get lost there. It ended when I blocked the app and got myself busy with something else. It's a very awkward feeling and it's uncomfortable to realise that you have to be careful with the small piece of glass and metal because it has certain things that try to manipulate your attention and steal your time, and these things cannot be turned off and hidden completely. Tech is awesome when it helps us get better, acts as our secretary, librarian, teacher, but 99% of the time it's just an annoying blob of repetitive entertainment.

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I am blessed, my smartphone is so old smart the youtube app refuses to update and stream videos. Then when I do visit the website my Chromium extension  hides the entire right hand recommended content section in youtube is great it is called "Remove Recommendations Youtube VK Facebook" .. I promise I will be cutting back to one day of Wifi a week soon

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@goodvibes I had Distractions free YouTube installed on my Firefox before I moved on to Brave browser, haven't thought about installing something like that, but I'll do it today.

I would gladly be listening to educational videos though. Not as cancerous as constant entertainment. 

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@goodvibes I downloaded it, thank you! I appreciate that!

I installed site blocker and blocked youtube right away. It feels liberating and I have begun to realize just exactly how much time I spent there. It was my entertainment, my go-to music player, my  basically everything outside of work which is A LOT. I clocked in 22 hours total on youtube last week and it wasn't very fun to see. Videos add up, I want to check this and that and end up staring at the  screen without any particular goal for hours on end. No education, no real entertainment, just mindless browsing. 

So guys, you do want some kind of time tracker in your phone/browser. It is a real eye-opener. 

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1 hour ago, goodvibes said:

Webtime Tracker from chrome extension store has a nice graph.
 

Screenshot from 2019-07-09 12-18-52.png

That's what I installed! Nice thing, I like the look of it. It notes down everything very neatly. Looking forward to Sunday, I want to see what my stats will look like.

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I had a relatively good week. I haven't had as much work as on the previous week, and I spent quite some time on improving my skills. I haven't touched my diary and I doubt I paid as much attention to myself as a consequence which is bad. 

I want to rethink my planning routine because it went off the cliff some time ago. I basically have a bunch of tasks without any structure and it's making me want to delete the app and just forget it altogether. It's my fault, not the app's. I remember it worked very well for me, so I need to continue using it, maybe starting small and adding things as I see fit. I still want to use Blitz, but I may research for better alternative. Maybe even bullet journal, who knows.

I got some interesting stones and I hope it will fit into my aquarium. I plan to start it all over again when I will find home for almost all my fishes. I don't want to breed guppies anymore, they multiply too fast and I can't house them all. I will leave two or three males and the rest will be plants and shrimps. Or I might get white cloud minnows, I wanted to keep this fish for some time now. 

 

 

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On 7/13/2019 at 7:23 AM, Vera said:

I had a relatively good week. I haven't had as much work as on the previous week, and I spent quite some time on improving my skills. I haven't touched my diary and I doubt I paid as much attention to myself as a consequence which is bad. 

I want to rethink my planning routine because it went off the cliff some time ago. I basically have a bunch of tasks without any structure and it's making me want to delete the app and just forget it altogether. It's my fault, not the app's. I remember it worked very well for me, so I need to continue using it, maybe starting small and adding things as I see fit. I still want to use Blitz, but I may research for better alternative. Maybe even bullet journal, who knows.

I got some interesting stones and I hope it will fit into my aquarium. I plan to start it all over again when I will find home for almost all my fishes. I don't want to breed guppies anymore, they multiply too fast and I can't house them all. I will leave two or three males and the rest will be plants and shrimps. Or I might get white cloud minnows, I wanted to keep this fish for some time now. 

 

 

I think we go through phases of happiness and unhappiness with our depression and I think it's important to take a break and let ourselves relax. There's a difference between that and mindlessly surfing the internet. Maybe there's a way for you to relax your mind for a week and accept the fact you won't be as productive. See how it effects your week after that and start getting small ideas and just schedule them without scheduling too much. 

We're all exhausted. This self improvement journey is a painful burden with more pain that reward for the majority of the beginning phases. This means we need to spend intelligent ways to relax and rehabilitate ourselves. 

We're basically rehabilitating ourselves like an injured athlete would. We gotta slowly patch things up for a few months and then allow ourselves to go at full speed. Athletes work on their bodies and then spend dedicated time relaxing to rehab. We need to dedicate relax time to fix our minds and hearts. 

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2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

This self improvement journey is a painful burden with more pain that reward for the majority of the beginning phases.

I would even say there is no "reward" per se, generally just less pain, but it is true the beginnings are the toughest.

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2 hours ago, Ikar said:

I would even say there is no "reward" per se, generally just less pain, but it is true the beginnings are the toughest.

I was originally going to say that but I think if we follow the path to wellness the correct way then the end product of balance and mindfulness is the reward. We'll be set for all challenges we face. 

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Thank for the reply, @BooksandTrees. I haven't opened YouTube for a week and I started to write short notes, I haven't done that in quite some time because my phone was always running some kind of video. I think it's the step in the right direction. 

 

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I have some free time during work and I have the urge to write something. Anything.
I was using flash cards app called Memorion. I can't say it's bad, I enjoyed it, but I got bored of learning generic stacks of phrasal verbs and various complicated grammar. No matter how well I remembered cards, it got me nowhere in terms of actually talking to people. I want to change it. I usually have the ability to study during my commute to work,  I want to use my time wisely, I know it's finite and I must make the most out of it. I feel the pressure to be as successful as everyone else around me(or on social media?), to have better job, better skills, better relationship, to have everything under control and to be not only better, but perfect. The reality of my life is much simpler: if my knees don't hurt and I slept well the day is good enough. If I managed to do something above my usual routine  (read a book, find some useful info, write meaningful post in my diary, do some coding) I can consider the day to be almost excellent. But right now day seems to stretch forever and I have to wait. 

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I'm very pleased with my evening! I was pretty productive and I'm dying to do more, but it's time to turn off my pc and get ready to sleep so I'm ready to be even better tomorrow. My knees are still not behaving, but a good rest will calm them down, hopefully. I really need to visit a doctor to clarify what my problem is. I'm just 25 and it's a bit underwhelming and scary to not be able to walk freely. But until I get an appointment, I should take good care of myself.

I also discovered I have pretty reactive skin because my face got really angry at me for changing one of skin care products. I never had any allergies in general, but my skin became much more sensitive with age. It's my 'reward' for not treating it well for years and accepting advice from people who know nothing about skincare. Well, better late than never. 

I forgot to attach the screenshot of Webtime Tracker stats. 

webtime-tracker-screenshot-2019-07-16-17-09-33.png.png.b80142545cde71c7f72eb4a15cf4efd2.png

Edited by Vera

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Very nice day! 

I had nice workout, came home, ate very delicious meal and was doing touch typing exercises all evening long. I haven't touched Discord that much, there's not that much happening. I installed Pinterest once again, but noticed that I spent more time on it than yesterday so I'm getting rid of it now, at least on my phone. I'm often bored but I try to entertain myself by writing stuff instead of consuming content, this is easier and more useful as it allows me to maintain my writing skills.

I also fiddled with the idea of installing some kind of browser extensions that makes youtube less appealing, but decided not to play with fire. I was so hooked on it I was really miserable, I love myself too much to allow myself to dive right back in. I don't need it right now and even if I do, it's not a very rare thing to stumble upon. But my own time and good evenings like tonight are so much more precious than gazillion of cat videos. Same goes for gaming - if I want, I can have it immediately, but I want to be better and gaming doesn't help me, so I love myself enough to say no to wonderful (no doubts of that) virtual worlds. 

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6 hours ago, Vera said:

Very nice day! 

I had nice workout, came home, ate very delicious meal and was doing touch typing exercises all evening long. I haven't touched Discord that much, there's not that much happening. I installed Pinterest once again, but noticed that I spent more time on it than yesterday so I'm getting rid of it now, at least on my phone. I'm often bored but I try to entertain myself by writing stuff instead of consuming content, this is easier and more useful as it allows me to maintain my writing skills.

I also fiddled with the idea of installing some kind of browser extensions that makes youtube less appealing, but decided not to play with fire. I was so hooked on it I was really miserable, I love myself too much to allow myself to dive right back in. I don't need it right now and even if I do, it's not a very rare thing to stumble upon. But my own time and good evenings like tonight are so much more precious than gazillion of cat videos. Same goes for gaming - if I want, I can have it immediately, but I want to be better and gaming doesn't help me, so I love myself enough to say no to wonderful (no doubts of that) virtual worlds. 

It's important to notice how tired you are of these devices that bother you. It's a reminder that in general you would rather pursue a creative interest. That won't happen every day since we need to relax sometimes. It's just finding that outlet to actually relax and enjoy yourself. Mine has been reading a book, cooking, stretching, walking, and watching a TV show sometimes. It's pushing yourself when you feel interested and comforting yourself when you feel weary. Keep going with it, roll with the positives and negatives and keep making the best choice for yourself and loved ones. 

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Well, I've spent the weekend mostly doing stuff around the summer house. It is raining often during the day so I had some 'fun' time walking under a heavy rain. Managed to get to the gym nevertheless, I'm very proud of myself. It seems that two days of rest between workouts works better for me than one, so I might try it out this week and compare. 

I bought a waterbrush, a cute eraser and a cardholder, and some clothes. I might try out lettering with the brush or painting with watercolors or both. I have a lot of paper that's printed on one side and blank on the other so I can practice. I doubt I will ever be able to really draw something, but I would make cute doodles here and there just to relax. 

Kids prepare to school and buy all kinds of stationery this time of year, so every visit to the bookshop or supermarket is like a small celebration for me, I walk around and waste some time touching notebooks, flipping through pages, trying out pens and sightseeing. 

I finally found some peace with my planner, but my to-do list is tiny so it wasn't really that hard.

I'd call this weekend a good one. Time to go to sleep and make tomorrow even better. 

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Finally ordered the pelargonium seeds I was thinking about. I'll wait for the customer support to answer my question so I can complete the order. I mostly chilled through the evening, touch typing training and some random relaxing music complement each other really nice. Took a look at the mechanical keyboards, quite pricey but hours and hours of my work are totally worth it. I won't buy it anytime soon though, only after my training is complete. 

I scrolled through the forum of the game I used to play. I was stunned by how toxic the community really is, everyone is arguing with everyone, people are upset that admins are trying to eliminate obscene language and are introducing a set of rules. It's just ridiculous, it's very simple game, almost childish, but players find ways to create a perfect hell out of it. They deserve a broken game full of cheaters. They really do. 

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7 hours ago, Vera said:

I scrolled through the forum of the game I used to play. I was stunned by how toxic the community really is, everyone is arguing with everyone, people are upset that admins are trying to eliminate obscene language and are introducing a set of rules. It's just ridiculous, it's very simple game, almost childish, but players find ways to create a perfect hell out of it. They deserve a broken game full of cheaters. They really do. 

I did that as well along my journey.  My distaste for the community in general is really one of the driving forces for me to abstain from gaming. Being around these toxic people with problems who take them out on you is unfair and unfortunate. No need to do that to yourself. I'm glad you saw it.

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