TSL's Journal

[BooksandTrees]

On 3/21/2019 at 1:35 AM, TwoSidedLife said:

Day 10

Today's Progress

• Happily still here going strong.
• I've made great personal progress, but I can still be doing better. I still have basic things to work on.
• I don't have any urges to game as i've found many other better and more exciting things to do.

Good job on getting back to double digit days.  What are you doing instead of gaming?

[TwoSidedLife]

Day 15

Today's Progress

• @BooksandTrees, I've just been learning about a range of different stuff, I don't tend to stay with just one topic.
• Been so busy learning, I don't have time to update the journal daily. I'm just very involved in learning
• I think i've been doing really well. No cravings at all anymore and I stopped counting the days (Just come back here to see again lol).

Also got my birthday coming up soon :)

[TwoSidedLife]

Day 51

Just an update that i'm still going strong on StopGaming.

Recently i've been having cravings for the first time. This streak has been amazing for me so far, i've changed my life in different ways. Having specific goals and a schedule has been incredible. I'm able to do what I want to do, be able to track my progress and manage that however I want. I'm having much more fun doing regular things than gaming. Gaming to me has a very lonely vibe. Like you want to shut yourself out from the world and you don't want anything to do with it. I'm more in control of my life now. I have more self discipline to do what I want to do and i'm more aware of life in general.

I know this will be the streak that gets me over 90. I'm only craving games as a way to procrastinate. It's better that I don't game, because it helps build that self discipline. When I think about relapsing, I think about all the real progress I created over the last 50 days. It's such a solid gameplan. Gaming appeals to me only because its easy and its setup already, you just put the work in. When you do the same to activities in your life, it makes it 100x better. It's worth the extra few steps.

I'm also on NoFap at around the same streak.

[Sapuverell]

So happy to hear that, keep it up!

[BooksandTrees]

Nice job.  I'm glad to hear you're dealing with cravings and sticking to a schedule.  Keep following your dreams.  The happiness of accomplishing your dreams, but also living a life with purpose and intention will bring you a happiness and fulfillment that gaming and porn will never bring to our hearts.  I found that I kept wanting to watch more and more porn to feel accomplished and fulfilled.  But recently I started following my dreams in life and devoting myself to myself and the journey towards my goals.  Through this I have found peace and purpose.  I have also found that I wake up each morning with life, not a dreary disdain for the day ahead.  I hope you stay strong and stay on the journey.

[DaBest]

Good stuff, @TwoSidedLife. It sounds like you've made really phenomenal progress recently. You're better than those urges--keep it up!

[TwoSidedLife]

Day 0

It's been a very long time (6 months!). I think the last streak made it around 65 days (Still never been to 90). Eventually I came to the conclusion that I wasn't addicted anymore. In the months between I was able to game on the rare occasion (~ once a month), had no cravings and was easily able to stop when I wanted to.

I continually kept trying at NoFap too (I'm a woman, but I struggle with it too). Basically something really clicked in my life (LIFE CHANGING!!) and i've become very dedicated to NF. It's no doubt my best and strongest feeling run ever. Despite that I haven't even crossed my 'record' yet.

I've decided to come back to StopGaming, since I feel like I have a problem with gaming again. With this life changing thing thats happened, i'm basically trying to make something specific (Positive) happen. Tho the process has caused me a lot of stress, i've managed it for a while now.

My problem with gaming starts now tho. Finishing up with school + this other thing i'm trying to do = too much stress. I'd like to find a better way to cope with stress instead of turning to gaming.

So this time around, my younger sibling introduced me to fortnite. For the past few days i've been playing it for about 1 - 3 hrs with them (taking turns). Today was the first day I played by myself, since I was offered the chance. I gamed for 2 hrs. Initially, I tried to stop at 1 hr. I also had to wait 1hr for it to update and in that time wasn't able to focus on my schoolwork.

It's not a HUGE amount of hours and it doesn't seem as bad. Though I feel that it's the start of becoming more. I mainly want to quit because I know I shouldn't be gaming in this situation. Instead I should be doing schoolwork, since it's the 2nd last week. I'm procrastinating with gaming again.

So my plan is to attempt 90 days again. I've struggled with StopGaming more than NF. Since the school holidays are coming up, i've made a list of things I want to do when I get the freedom. I don't think i'll have too much trouble avoiding gaming. I genuinely don't enjoy any of the games I own, my computer is too slow and the only games that will run smoothly are on my younger sibling's computer. I've been in StopGaming long enough to know what to expect too.

 Here's to the start! 

[BooksandTrees]

7 hours ago, TwoSidedLife said:

Day 0

It's been a very long time (6 months!). I think the last streak made it around 65 days (Still never been to 90). Eventually I came to the conclusion that I wasn't addicted anymore. In the months between I was able to game on the rare occasion (~ once a month), had no cravings and was easily able to stop when I wanted to.

I continually kept trying at NoFap too (I'm a woman, but I struggle with it too). Basically something really clicked in my life (LIFE CHANGING!!) and i've become very dedicated to NF. It's no doubt my best and strongest feeling run ever. Despite that I haven't even crossed my 'record' yet.

I've decided to come back to StopGaming, since I feel like I have a problem with gaming again. With this life changing thing thats happened, i'm basically trying to make something specific (Positive) happen. Tho the process has caused me a lot of stress, i've managed it for a while now.

My problem with gaming starts now tho. Finishing up with school + this other thing i'm trying to do = too much stress. I'd like to find a better way to cope with stress instead of turning to gaming.

So this time around, my younger sibling introduced me to fortnite. For the past few days i've been playing it for about 1 - 3 hrs with them (taking turns). Today was the first day I played by myself, since I was offered the chance. I gamed for 2 hrs. Initially, I tried to stop at 1 hr. I also had to wait 1hr for it to update and in that time wasn't able to focus on my schoolwork.

It's not a HUGE amount of hours and it doesn't seem as bad. Though I feel that it's the start of becoming more. I mainly want to quit because I know I shouldn't be gaming in this situation. Instead I should be doing schoolwork, since it's the 2nd last week. I'm procrastinating with gaming again.

So my plan is to attempt 90 days again. I've struggled with StopGaming more than NF. Since the school holidays are coming up, i've made a list of things I want to do when I get the freedom. I don't think i'll have too much trouble avoiding gaming. I genuinely don't enjoy any of the games I own, my computer is too slow and the only games that will run smoothly are on my younger sibling's computer. I've been in StopGaming long enough to know what to expect too.

 Here's to the start! 

Welcome back. I feel like nf has been worse for me. If you have any tips I'm all ears. 

I think it's good you caught yourself now instead of if you were gaming for 10 hours straight. Good luck. 

[TwoSidedLife]

I'm having a hard time starting to break the gaming habit. I've always found that the hardest part. I'm going to list my reasons for quitting:

• I want to be the best that I can be and I really know I can do better.
• Delayed gratification is worthwhile. I want to practice it better and stop with short-term rewards in exchange for long-term.
• I don't want to waste my time anymore when I know I can do something else that's more worthwhile.
• I'm tired of the ill effects of gaming. Leaving me insanely bored and the tetris effect when I try to sleep.

@BooksandTrees Imo, NF is more moral based and StopGaming is more time based/keeping busy (?). I decided to stop for good because I want a better love life (and i'm making that happen!). The decision to quit forever in NF is easier I think too. When the urges hit, that's the energy that's used to channel into your productivity (Science shows we learn better when we're aroused too). I'd say the only similarity between the two is relapsing - It's never as good as you imagine it to be and you'll regret it afterwards. The emergency/panic button is really helpful too.

[Kona450]

2 hours ago, TwoSidedLife said:

I'm having a hard time starting to break the gaming habit. I've always found that the hardest part. I'm going to list my reasons for quitting:

• I want to be the best that I can be and I really know I can do better.
• Delayed gratification is worthwhile. I want to practice it better and stop with short-term rewards in exchange for long-term.
• I don't want to waste my time anymore when I know I can do something else that's more worthwhile.
• I'm tired of the ill effects of gaming. Leaving me insanely bored and the tetris effect when I try to sleep.

@BooksandTrees Imo, NF is more moral based and StopGaming is more time based/keeping busy (?). I decided to stop for good because I want a better love life (and i'm making that happen!). The decision to quit forever in NF is easier I think too. When the urges hit, that's the energy that's used to channel into your productivity (Science shows we learn better when we're aroused too). I'd say the only similarity between the two is relapsing - It's never as good as you imagine it to be and you'll regret it afterwards. The emergency/panic button is really helpful too.

It’s great that you are aware of those reasons why you want to quit gaming. We know you can do it.  Like every other addiction take it 1 day at a time. Make today a great day. 

[TwoSidedLife]

An update on my life!

To recap: I'm a 21 yr old female

I'm happy to say that i've found a healthy balance with gaming. The experience of quitting has given me so much strength and knowledge. That period of my life I now consider apart of my 'recovery' phase. I joined StopGaming 6 months after I successfully quit smoking pot (after a 3 yr smoking everyday habit, starting at 15 yrs old). Prior to my pot habit, I use to skip school very often to mostly hangout with friends or if they werent around, go home and game. It was an online game, so servers weren't very busy at school hours - the only reason I didn't game more often. I had plenty of friends, though I was a bully and didn't respect adults.

I quit that one online game and getting more involved with my friends, I began drinking, smoking, doing drugs, stealing ect. and eventually falling back into some gaming in the background. I passed school at the bare minimum while all my other friends dropped out. Basically everyone split ways after doing that for 3 yrs and I attempted to quit pot to get my life back.

Eventually realised gaming has been a bad habit for me and I also used it as a means of escape. I think I have been with gamequitters since late 2018. During this past run, I made my way to about 60 days (my record again). For years the most regrettable thing I did was turn someone down. I saw that person one day and it stuck with me for weeks. I realised that I could attempt to change my regrets and it was the most freeing feeling. I know that they all can't be changed, but the ones that can are worth fighting hard for. Even though it didn't work out, having to gain the courage to try and change something you feel is out of your control - it changes you in a very strong way.

I know I changed because of something deeply personal to me. In some bullets here's what i've done since.

• I started selling on eBay and it's been great! This is something I use to do vigorously with in-game trading when I was younger. It is something I really enjoy. I mostly played tycoon and strategy games too. I remember in one of my streaks thinking "If I can do this well in a game, why can't I do it for real?"
• I'm almost finished studying my legal diploma to become a paralegal (delaying by corona), it's something I really enjoy also and am passionate about. It's been a full year of 
• I'm looking at places where I would like to work - real career places, i'd like to one day work for a firm that does something similar to the innocence project in America
• I've reignited my love for reading - I didn't read at all during my stopgaming streaks, but through selling on eBay I came accross books I use to love and now I love to read again

I want to say i've become more confident because of StopGaming, but I know my confidence hasn't come from stopping something - it's come from starting new things. I'm glad I took the time away to let myself be open to seeing what I can do.

My advice to those who want to quit:

• Write down your regrets - seek out to change them and only let them go if it is impossible. If you want to be something amazing and think you missed your chance yrs ago, you can change that today by chasing it.
• Start reading - it's the best source of knowledge
• I've noticed the games I had the most hours on almost directly translated to my real life interests. Team Fortress 2 (*RIP* Mega trader, prior 2013) and Prison Architect (Law stuff, I guess. As a libertarian, running a private prison makes sense to me)
•  

[TheNewMe2.0]

Welcome back. It's nice to read your list of achievements since joining Gamequitters. I'm glad you found a love for reading. I like reading too.