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JPAO

90 days of Melancholic Banter

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Okay, time to start this daily journal thing,

A couple quick notes before I get started: I'm the night cook at a pub, so my schedule is a few hours off other MST ones, and I'm extremely shy, so posting on here will be based around whether I can convince myself to share with the world.

Day 1

Woke up at 10 am today, didn't eat breakfast or anything, checked my texts and went back to sleep

Woke up again at 4ish, my siblings had just gotten home from school and my youngest brother was hanging around with me for awhile, I watched a couple episodes of some show, then ate a can of ravioli before work.

I left for work shortly past 5 as its foggy and starting to get snowy/icy around town (I live 30 minutes away from where I work and need to travel on the highway).

Started work just before 6, it was wing night tonight, but customers were ordering all sorts of stuff. Got a migraine (likely weather related) and went home early due to this being a somewhat optional shift.

Got home at about 11, and went to bed after watching half of an episode of a show on Netflix with a friend living in California, had a good talk with her beforehand though 🙂

Woke up starving at 2am, since this is normally when I get home and eat after work, and now I'm having some trouble going back to bed, but I'm reading the forum, and while this is my first day journal-ling I'm already 3 days game free 🙂 

I really need to start working on my University courses though

Cya next time! 😄  

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Welcome 🙂 
know the feeling of being shy, i have yet to tell anyone around me (family, friends) about being addicted to games.  But i found it being a lot easier to talk about it on this forum, as it contains a lot of people that knows what you are going through. 
I am on day 3 myself, trying to get started on the goals i have set for myself. So stay strong, looking forward to your Day 2 update 😉 they help a lot, to keep yourself in check. 

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Day 2!

Kind of a continuation of day 1 since all I took was a nap but that's not important

Got out of bed at about 10 (I know that's late since i didn't sleep, I was watching a show) and went to a coffee shop my friend works at, got myself an extra short double Americano and sat down, had a good conversation with Cali girl again. Also asked my friend from high school which the best dry cleaners in town is (my suit has glass shards in it) and turns out its beside my gym 🙂 

Got home and cleaned the basement a bit, then took my nap

Woke up when my siblings got home from school, and spent some more time watching random stuff on the internet (I'm sorry everyone, I just don't have a real hobby yet)

Went to work for 6 o'clock as normal, and worked a full shift today, we're having some sort of party tomorrow so the prep was hectic

I felt pretty good today, and for day 4 without games, I'm starting to wonder if my lack of cravings is weird

Also confession, I have 3 jobs, my main one is the cook job, then I tutor high school physics and chemistry, and then my third job is as a video game tester.

This third one is obviously the issue here, while I haven't been scheduled any hours since I started this detox, I'm considering quitting so I can leave my PC locked in the closet.

The game testing itself involves very little gaming, but its so very easy to open another game once I'm done a shift and play for hours

Advice?

That crazy Canadian weirdo you don't know yet but you'll grow to love 😉

 

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I think that working as a game tester used to be the dream of many people here. That said, you need to think why you quit gaming in the first place. If you suffer from a gaming addiction, that's enough reason for quitting the job. It's not going to help you succeed, on the contrary, it'll drag you down. Addicts are people that can't do things in moderation.

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Day 3 (written on day 4)

Didn't write this last night, got off work earlier then 2 and hung out with my brother

Fell asleep on the couch

To return to day three however;

Woke up fairly early, picked up my friend (I've been driving him to work since his car's broken) we hung out around my house since I was waiting for a door to get delivered. We grabbed A&W for lunch, and played mario party for about an hour. Then my brother came home, and we watched that 70's show, ate sushi pizza and cheesecake.

Dropped my friend off at his job when I left for mine, the seafood party failed, much to my managers chagrin, but there's not a whole ton you can do when all your customers are regulars who want the normal menu. The band they had in was pretty good though. 

Got home later at night, chatted with Cali girl for awhile again, we traded 'music videos' our younger selves had made. 

Watched more of the show with my brother and we both fell asleep on the couches.

Love y'all,

John

Note: my issue with video games is spending time apart from family and friends, ones I play surrounded by people like a board game (so group stuff in the living room) hasn't ever been an issue for me nor led to me booting up other games

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Day 4

Work was a pain in the ass, morning cook only prepared half the stuff she was supposed to

Woke up earlyish, don't honestly remember the first half of the day, pretended to sleep (maybe actually slept) Until my family went on a record shopping trip (we got a record player for christmas). Got up and ate brunch then, and proceeded to hang out with my youngest brother (8) for awhile until his friends showed up. I watched the new episode of one of my shows, then went to work. Worst day of work so far, was working with two of the more airheaded members of the staff, and couldn't get along very well with either of them, I grabbed a drink after work and then my daily tea.

Drove home, stopped at the liquor store on my way and picked up a bottle to share with my brother later tonight if he's down.

Read some other journals for a little today, over all a good day 🙂

John

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bahaha @islam mohamed the liquor has nothing to do with the quitting games, just two brothers sharing a bottle of wine while having a good time. Thank you for the worry though, i'm always happy when people take time to let me know how they feel

and thanks Cam, I don't dislike any of my coworkers, just ranting a bit

 

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Day 5! 

One week of no games starts within 24 hours 🙂

Today was good, I woke up ate brunch with my family and then went back to sleep

Woke up again around one and hung out with them until it was time for me to go to mass

On the way to mass I came to realize that I have an issue with some smaller demons: not sleeping enough, not having a schedule, skipping daily prayers on a whim, and failing to maintain good hygiene. While tackling the big guys head on can help, I need to make sure I'm not sinking under before I ever get to the fight, so this new weeks target will be to fight the little ones consistently, especially remembering to wake up at the same time everyday, say my prayers, and brush my teeth everyday

Thanks for all the support everyone!

John

 

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Days 6 and 7

Oops forgot to post last night sorry peoples

Yesterday was a 'good' day, I met with my counselor to talk about my depression and video game addiction. We came up with some idea's to help build habits mostly

The quotations are because I slept so much yesterday, talk about waste of time. Later at night, I did all my laundry, and watched a show with my brother after a Don's run.

Today, I woke up early, and made coffee (my mom appreciated it), as well as took my sister out for coffee and then dropped her off at her exam. I came home and had a nice bath, then went to work. Work was good, I had extra time to clean up if need be tonight and didn't end up using it. There were a couple drunk guys hanging out at the bar and a very argumentative woman who apparently only drank half a beer the whole night.

Finally home, ate some food, and am now finally doing this. Maybe I'll watch a show or two before bed, who knows

Night everybody,

John

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Ahh I missed a day again

Day 9

Woke up early cuz I had a bad dream.

Watched TV until 11ish then had a nap until it was time to work

Work went well

Waste of a day...

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Hello JPAO, well done so far!

As a fellow addict, I'd really like to urge you to plan your day from the previous day and include, at first, at least one productive hobby or responsibility chore in. All my previous attempts in quitting games failed because I didn't replace my free time with anything, I only consumed content and was bored. I didn't make any effort to change my day, I was left with a big chunk of free time and games came back within a few weeks of misery. 

Be proactive, meditate on your desires for your life and self and put these desires down on paper in the form of daily tasks. 

Wish you all the best!

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Love the signature, I'll look into reading some of the books @fawn_xoxo

And thanks! My biggest enemy right now seems to be my habit of filling unplanned time with sleep. A bad habit to be sure, and one spawned by some mental health issues, but at least I don't quite feel as tired as I used to spending hours into the night gaming.

I completely missed that second point last time I read the comment, maybe I'll track my big progress on here

 

 

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Anndddddd!!!!

Day 10!

Woke up at about 10, hung around for a bit, my brothers friends came over and played minecraft for awhile, so I moved to a different room. 

I took a short nap, but woke up about 10 minutes later then expected and panicked. I ended up 2 minutes late for work (I'm normally about 20 early so its not a big deal, but still disappointing). Work went well last night, I got complimented by both co-workers, especially on my rate of improvement. That noted I've been feeling more intellectually virile as of late, almost as much so as I was in high school. Maybe I won't have as much trouble studying as I had been thinking I would.

Planning on hanging out with a friend tomorrow night, so I might not write today's post until Monday. 

Goals!

  • Move out of my parents house
  • Finish a Bachelors in Science
  • Get into an education program at the local university
  • Be purposeful in my faith
  • Save money and time to put towards bettering myself so I can feasibly consider marriage before I'm 30

That being said, my spending money is to be limited to the tips I receive from the FOH staff. I'm choosing to spend that on a tea after work from Tims, and the leftover gives me enough to eat out once or twice bi-monthly.

Im going to a men's conference next weekend, hoping to learn some good stuff there

Ill be volunteering with a boys camp later in February as well.

Have a good couple days everyone!

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On 1/27/2019 at 8:58 AM, JPAO said:
  • Move out of my parents house
  • Finish a Bachelors in Science
  • Get into an education program at the local university
  • Be purposeful in my faith
  • Save money and time to put towards bettering myself so I can feasibly consider marriage before I'm 30

These are awesome goals! I hope you accomplish them. 😄

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Also, 

Days 11, 12

Good weekend overall. work yesterday night went fantastic and it was nice spending time with my friend 🙂

Today I went to mass with my family, then worked on a course i need to finish to help volunteer with a camp. We then had some family friends over for the whole evening, which was pretty awesome. I might spend a good chunk of time with them tomorrow afternoon as well.

My plans to go to the mens conference this weekend might have to change because of work 😞 Our manager loves outsourcing her job to our most experienced cook, but when she tells him a day or two before we need to know the schedule he doesn't have much time. That and people just not checking the calendar specifically set up for booking stuff off is annoying but nbd in the long run, however much I wanted to go to the conference. Got to talk with my friend today, and we've been looking at some houses to see about moving into a place together. Hopefully we can discern everything well and make it work out. 

That all being said, not much progress on the big goals happened today.

Tomorrow the goals for the day are:

Write a letter to my former university to explain why I dropped out and as to whether I can get a refund for the courses. (x)

Make it to daily mass (o)

Wake up at a reasonable hour (o)

Finish the course I started today (partial)

Make it to my mens group in the evening for our weekly meet-up (o)

Check out some houses around where my friends and I work (we're waiting on a landlord to get back to us)

Spend at least half an hour of reading for pleasure (x)

Work on something creative (x)

BONUS:

Went in to work twice to discuss some stuff with my coworkers about management stuff and to get this Friday/Saturday off

Edited by JPAO
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Day 13

Woke up around 8:45 today, and drove my sister home from her event. 

I had a glass of water for breakfast then went to mass (good homily today, about how argument is supposed to bring people searching for the truth closer together rather then drive people apart). After mass I hung around the church while my friend played/recorded an organ audition for some crazy music school. He's actually insane. Drove my other friend to the university afterwards then went home.

Ate supper with my family, then went skating with my men's group. We goofed around with hockey sticks and played a bit until the rink closed.

Looking more likely that I'll be moving out with 2 of my friends shortly here.

Good day 🙂

John

PS. My co-workers are going out of their way to help me out since I was mistakenly scheduled this weekend, maybe I'll buy them small gifts as a thank you

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Day 14

Woke up around 9 again, but took two naps afterwards. 

Ate supper with my family after somewhat wasting the rest of the day, then went to work. Work was pretty great again, and I got some more compliments on my work ethic/habits

Came home, and filled up on gas because this one station was like 7 cents cheaper for some reason. Hopped on the forums and was super happy to discover that my post from yesterday wasn't deleted; last night I was going to post day 13, but my sister accidentally hit the touchscreen on my laptop and I thought the post had been deleted.

Anyways, I missed a lot of the goals from yesterday and today sadly, so time for the next list

Book doctors appointment (so that I can actually look at writing that letter I mentioned earlier. I need a doctor's note)

Go to the bank to take out money for this weekend

Clean out my van (o)

Finish finish that course, and do another module or two on here.(o)

Start packing non-essentials and or things I don't use into boxes and organizing those into leaving here and taking with me when I move out

Get in touch with my friends as to whether the landlord has gotten back to us or not yet. (o)

Text my general manager about typo on my paycheck and the volunteer weekend I need off at the end of February (o)

BONUS

Drove my sister to her friend's 

Hung out with my brother and his friends

 

 

That should about round everything up for tomorrow!

Thanks peeps! Best of luck with everything 🙂

John

Edited by JPAO
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Day 15

Got up around noon, drove my sister to her friends house. 

Hung out with my brother and his friends all afternoon, but finished my course and talked to my manager. The real-estate dude finally got back to us and the house isn't available, so we're back to the hunt.

Worked, and now am home.

Life is good

 

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Day 20 I guess

Went to a men's conference over the weekend (hence my lack of posts) and have been busy with work and househunting since I got back

Stuff is pretty good, and I went to my first concert ever. Part of the conference was joining a 30 day challenge of sorts, so im on day 3 of that as well now

I'm exhausted since I had to work monday for a co-worker and tuesday as normal, both shifts until 3 am, I should probably ask him if he could cover my shift tonight

I have my next appointment with my counselor tomorrow, and need to pick up a form so I can volunteer

Sorry for the absence, still going strong

Love y'all

John

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Day 2-? No idea what day im on anymore

I've been sick the past few days, and am slowly getting better. Work had been sucking, slow hours plus being sick; today was good however.

continuing with the men's challenge, but haven't had much chance to connect with other men about it. Still pretty tired. Have 3 days off in a row after tomorrow though, so I'm going to look into visiting a friend. 

Thanks for reading 🙂

John

 

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