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90 days of Melancholic Banter


JPAO
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Day 25

I'm just going to write this one short since I keep procrastinating.

Good few days, got some stuff done, put this off like 8 times.

Wrote something here so hopefully i do more tomorrow. 

Peace ?

John

 

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Day 27

Also gunna be a little short. Last night with house hunting with my friends and after weeks of searching we've found a house we like, so might be moving really soon.

Had a doctor's appointment this morning (it was supposed to be yesterday but I slept in ?)

DAY 4 OF:

Waking up at 9 am and sleeping in my bed instead of on the floor!

Day 30-something of no videogames!

I made cheesecake from scratch last night (it wasn't sweet enough, but it made a good breakfast) like an orange cheese quiche almost

I'm done my three day vacation and won't have much time off for the next while, once the weather warms up I need to talk with a Red Seal chef about a possible apprenticeship, and I have my volunteering with the boys camp next weekend. It's my moms birthday on monday so I'm happy monday tuesday are my standard days off ?

Love you guys! Thanks for the support ? 

John

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  • 3 weeks later...

I procrastinated posting real bad I'm sorry everybody!

The moving thing kinda failed, (The last person to look at the house before the owner would let us sign decided to sign superfast). Still looking for a house!

I played some video games in the past week. Nothing excessive, but I hid it from pretty much everybody around me. The whole point of this was to return gaming to be a moderate enjoyable social activity. When I'm hiding from my family and friends, it becomes a destructive habit that I need to leave in the past.

Work has gotten worse over the past few weeks, but the volunteering I did was positively amazing! Thankfully my co-workers are kind and amiable.

Waking up at 9 has gotten harder as I'm finding I need more time to wind down before I can go to bed, but I'm sleeping better. Time to start job hunting again though, because I don't know how long my mental health can last if I stay here. So I'll be talking to two people about apprenticeships in the next week or two.

John

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I'm back again! 

Work has continued to be a drain on me, emotionally physically and spiritually, but at least I'm making money.

I've finally done some work towards my university class, it started in December and I have until the end of May to finish it, but I'd barely made any progress over the past 3 months. All I did was print off my assignments and put them next to my laptop so far, but it's a start as well as an increased reminder to work on it.

One boon I didn't mention in my last post was that as I was playing video games, my (now 5 year old) laptop decided it didn't want to run them anymore, so the temptation has mostly departed from me.

I had an awesome conversation with one of my guy friends last night, as we drove home from hearing a speaker, and celebrating one of our community members birthdays.

Hopefully I can find a more fulfilling job soon, as well as a place to live.

Don't give up guys! Addiction says 'you failed already so just try again next week, next month, next year' it tries to tell you that 2 days must become a week, a week must become a month.

HOWEVER! You can always start again, even seconds after failing you can be back on track, because while everyone falls down, the real reason we fight is to get back up again no matter what.

We got this! ?

 

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Day something!

I started this back near the beginning of January, so its been almost two months now!

Today was pretty good, saw a couple friends, got a coffee, got my phone fixed ?

Got a letter from my uncle, I'll have to call him soon.

Finally reapplied at a company I've been interested in for about a year. (Last time I had an interview we cancelled it because my arm was in a sling, and half the job is overhead work. My arm has been better for months, but I've been questioning whether I actually wanted the job or if it was a fad)\

Had a tasty coffee at a new shop, and now I'm heading off to work after supper with the family.

Have a good day everyone!

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Day something + 1/2

Since I'll likely forget to post tomorrow, I'll post today instead.

Work was decent, spent quite awhile chatting with my one co-worker (work was pretty dead) and that was nice. Also spent some time training/working with the new employee, and he's pretty chill and works hard.

Phone is def's fixed for now, screen works when its cold out and everything!

Hopefully the company gets back to me by next week, working towards a career will make the difference between my upcoming year being fulfilling or another time waster as the previous two have been, not saying I didn't learn anything or that they weren't valuable years, but that I made little progress towards my future career, and until I've made at least some, I can't progress on some lifetime goals.

I'm hopefully going to be doing some volunteering tonight, with a boys group/club? I'm hoping to have some good conversations on the drives, as well as make a difference in some peoples days.

Bedtime here I come!

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  • 1 month later...

Day 90 (technically)

90 days ago I got fired because of gaming and made up my mind to do this 90 detox. Now I have finished the probationary period at a new job, and am have been more present to my family. While I still want to game somewhat, I'm much more in control then I would have been 3 months ago. I also picked up a paycheck yesterday that means the end of credit card debt!

I'm working on moving out still, but the housing market is somewhat painful rn (although with university students moving out around now, maybe something will open up)

I have nearly 400 saved up to put towards some fun stuff like a keyboard, and I'm looking forwards to trying some creative streaming/public speaking.

Maybe I can convince some of my old friends to try a detox.

I'm going to keep hanging out around here, and see what differences I can make, I probably won't be available much until mid May (I have a university class to finish before then) but I'm excited to see how life goes moving forwards.

Peace ? 

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