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Mohammad's Journal


Mohammad

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Ok! I am screwed! I kind started playing again. Not as much as before but still not good. Gonna start from day zero from today and I will update daily.

Day 1:

I installed basher software to block the games on my laptop. I will spend a bit more on photography to compensate.

 

 

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salaam bro! welcome back, glad to see you're back on the detox ?

if I could offer a word of advice: try to spend more time on the journal. it's not just about keeping track of the number of days. you need to be monitoring your feelings & cravings, what makes it worse, what makes it easier, etc. Keep it up even if you relapse: you can asses why it happened and plan on how you're going to do it better next-time.

In the long-term, this really helps you make progress.

I'd start with reflecting on why you relapsed the previous time and what you're going to do differently this time to address that problem.

Also, as a fellow Muslim, I'd recommend doing the prayer of need (salatul hajjah) at the beginning of your day & ask for help to get over this problem. And obviously you need to have basic spiritual routines, like Qur'an, istighfar (asking for forgiveness), and salawat (sending blessings on the Prophet ﷺ), even if it's just a few minutes of each every day.

Hope this helps!

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10 hours ago, karabas said:

salaam bro! welcome back, glad to see you're back on the detox ?

if I could offer a word of advice: try to spend more time on the journal. it's not just about keeping track of the number of days. you need to be monitoring your feelings & cravings, what makes it worse, what makes it easier, etc. Keep it up even if you relapse: you can asses why it happened and plan on how you're going to do it better next-time.

In the long-term, this really helps you make progress.

I'd start with reflecting on why you relapsed the previous time and what you're going to do differently this time to address that problem.

Also, as a fellow Muslim, I'd recommend doing the prayer of need (salatul hajjah) at the beginning of your day & ask for help to get over this problem. And obviously you need to have basic spiritual routines, like Qur'an, istighfar (asking for forgiveness), and salawat (sending blessings on the Prophet ﷺ), even if it's just a few minutes of each every day.

Hope this helps!

Hi Karabas,

 

Thanks for your advice. My first 90-days detox was very easy for me with no much cravings. That is why I didn't take this journal writing that seriously. I did not see any reasons spending time here as I did not have any issues going to the 90-days detox. However, later, for some reasons, I started to play again. I did not mean to start playing games against. Just wanted to play a single game. And that's exactly when it starts over! I started to learn photography in my first 90-day detox and It was really fun and encouraging. This time I am into learning a new programming language python as my new hobby. I think this will help me get more productive.

I will spend more time on journal writing as well as you suggested. I am also spending some time daily on meditation.

Mohammad

 

 

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Day 2: No gaming ?

I had a great desire to play last night when my boy was asleep. However, I managed to overcome it. I used a trick I learnt from a book. It is called 10,10,10. It is basically imagining yourself in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 months and 10 years from now. I tried it and I realized that the next 10 mints would be fun playing games. However, it is gonna be very painful in 10 hours! exhausted and not getting enough sleep. Feeling awful about myself. It was even worse when I looked into 10 months. I would be struggling with this destructive habits and it's even harder to put an end to it after 10 months. The 10 years perspective is really scary if you can imagine what gaming is gonna do to your life in 10 years!

 

I think that was enough for me to overcome that desire.

 

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On 2/17/2019 at 8:35 PM, Mohammad said:

However, later, for some reasons, I started to play again. I did not mean to start playing games against. Just wanted to play a single game.

It's really important to get down to the core of the problem. What triggered you to want to play that single game? Can you avoid it in the future?

Also, you now definitely know that you can't just "play one game", so hopefully you won't get caught like that again.

15 hours ago, Mohammad said:

used a trick I learnt from a book. It is called 10,10,10

That's really interesting. Might try that next time I have a craving!

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7 hours ago, Mohammad said:

3rd day: I failed! ?

Not to worry! What was the trigger? How were you feeling before it happened? Nostalgic? Tired? Bored?

You need to analyze what happened & make adjustments to your detox plan to prevent it from happening next time.

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11 hours ago, karabas said:

Not to worry! What was the trigger? How were you feeling before it happened? Nostalgic? Tired? Bored?

You need to analyze what happened & make adjustments to your detox plan to prevent it from happening next time.

The trigger was seeing the game on youtube by accident. I had such a great desire to play that I could not resist.

This time I installed the install-block that I used to use before. As long as I know I do not have access to the game, I am good. I hope this help.

Starting over from today...

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On 2/20/2019 at 9:24 PM, Mohammad said:

The trigger was seeing the game on youtube by accident

That's an important reflection. Do you still watch gaming vids? If so, that may be something you need to limit.

I've found a lot of benefit in clearing all my youtube history (including search), unsubscribing from all channels that have a negative impact on my gaming, and installing a chrome app that blocks youtube suggestions & the like. This way when i do have to go on YouTube, it 1) doesn't remind me about games I like and 2) doesn't pull me into the endless watching abyss.

From my own experience and that of some of the folks on here, gaming vids are a common trigger, so you need to ensure you avoid it & set up methods to do so.

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1st day: No gaming ?

Well, I failed again on the second day, so I am starting over. Even though I am stuck at the very first few days, but I still feel good about myself. These fighting attitude that I developed over the past six months is indeed healthy, and I eventually defeat my gaming habit.

I am moving forward with a positive attitude... 

If I fail seven times, I get up eight times. I think this is the way to go. I know the temptation will strike me again, and I am prepared to fight back. If I fail, I will start over again and again ?

I also started meditation ?

 

Edited by Mohammad
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8 hours ago, karabas said:

That's an important reflection. Do you still watch gaming vids? If so, that may be something you need to limit.

I've found a lot of benefit in clearing all my youtube history (including search), unsubscribing from all channels that have a negative impact on my gaming, and installing a chrome app that blocks youtube suggestions & the like. This way when i do have to go on YouTube, it 1) doesn't remind me about games I like and 2) doesn't pull me into the endless watching abyss.

From my own experience and that of some of the folks on here, gaming vids are a common trigger, so you need to ensure you avoid it & set up methods to do so.

You are definitely correct. I also blocked anything related to gaming. However, that youtube video was not really a video of the game I use to play. It was just a cartoon which was somehow similar to my game or at least it looks similar to me. That was enough for me to think about it for a second and then fell for it! Thanks for your help. Much appreciated. 

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Thanks for your comment. I do not find any specific reason. Sometimes, I think about the game, and I would like to play some games to try a new strategy and be very smart at the game. I generally want to excel at something and gaming provides such a place to do so. The other time that I managed to go on a 90-day detox straight with no relapse was spending so much time becoming an expert on photography. Even now, I shifted this urge into learning a new programming language. However, you won't get rewarded any time soon when you spend time on something real in life especially in my job which is very competitive. It needs a lot of perseverance and patience, and sometimes I am not that patient. I think this might be the reason that I fall into gaming. 

But, In general, I am not so sure why I am playing while there are so many things to do in real life and I am aware of it!

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Hobbies aren't the same as video games just because of how unbalanced the reward system is. If you fail at a game, you can start a new game and forget the bad one. You get rewarded in so many ways that aren't real. 

That's why I've only succeeded by having multiple hobbies that satisfy different cravings. Have you written your cravings down? Mine were social interaction, competition, being good at something, being bored, having a talent in something so I could be confident, and to have a purpose outside of work. 

I broke all of those down into potential hobbies I could try and just keep experimenting. I now have hobbies that fulfill all of these cravings and a lifestyle which makes me feel better in general than any of the days I played games. 

I see a lot of gamers picking one hobby to master after gaming and that doesn't work. Gaming isn't a hobby, it's a lifestyle that you live. If you're a gamer you don't do anything else. As a gamer, your hobbies are multiplayer games, solo games, story games, etc. You're unfortunately tasked with discovering replacement activities for all of that. Even video game streams get replaced with other tv shows. 

Sorry for the long post. If this helps, I'm glad, if not, I tried and hope it helps. 

Wish you the best. 

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2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Hobbies aren't the same as video games just because of how unbalanced the reward system is. If you fail at a game, you can start a new game and forget the bad one. You get rewarded in so many ways that aren't real. 

That's why I've only succeeded by having multiple hobbies that satisfy different cravings. Have you written your cravings down? Mine were social interaction, competition, being good at something, being bored, having a talent in something so I could be confident, and to have a purpose outside of work. 

 I broke all of those down into potential hobbies I could try and just keep experimenting. I now have hobbies that fulfill all of these cravings and a lifestyle which makes me feel better in general than any of the days I played games. 

I see a lot of gamers picking one hobby to master after gaming and that doesn't work. Gaming isn't a hobby, it's a lifestyle that you live. If you're a gamer you don't do anything else. As a gamer, your hobbies are multiplayer games, solo games, story games, etc. You're unfortunately tasked with discovering replacement activities for all of that. Even video game streams get replaced with other tv shows. 

Sorry for the long post. If this helps, I'm glad, if not, I tried and hope it helps. 

Wish you the best. 

I understand what you are saying. The problem with me though is that when I am not playing, there are tons of work to do. Therefore, I won't be able to spend any time doing anything else rather than working. Thankfully, I really enjoy what I do so it is kinda possible to do as a hobby for myself and I am satisfied with it. But, I guess I fall into the habit of playing every other day because I do not have any specific hobby right now. Thankfully, I am also spending 15 minutes a day meditating which is helping. You know what, when I am working on my project, I am so satisfied that I do not want to do anything else. I think very big and have very ambitious dreams. These dreams help me to fight with my gaming habit, and I know I will defeat that habit soon :). Thanks for the advice, and I would be happy to get feedback about what you think about it.

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