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90 days detox | My girl friend dumped me


indie_rok
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Today, my girl friend dumped me.

She never said why, but my intuition tells me the reason.

I spend to much time playing damn video games.

I can do better, way much better.

After thinking a while I decided to take the 90 days detox.

I am 25, I can't be wasting my friday nights on stupid video games any more.

So Steam, H1Z1, Call of Duty, Titan Fall, SWOTOR, SW BattleFront, all gone.

I just wipped my computer from that crap.

It is going to be hard, I know.

But I can do this.

Day 0.
Uninstalled everything.
I am not sure yet what to do with all this free time but I don't care.
I'll plan tomorrow what to do.
 

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Day 0 - Before sleep.

I'll gain momentum.

I just deleted my League of Legends account and steam for ever.

I tried to this (video game quiting) before, but this time I feel that it is going to work.

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Welcome to the forum. Such changes in life bare the possibility to change yourself for the better. If you don't know how to start besides deleting your games here are the fundementals explained: https://gamequitters.com/video-series-1/

Do you plan to have a daily journal rhytm? If yes I would advise your to plan a specific time for it (after breakfast, before going to bed, something else which suits your lifestyle). THis way it becomes a habit and way easier to follow through.

As I did this detox over 2 years ago I found especially LoL hard to quit. Instant gratification and the possibility to dig myself in another world and subculture and escape from the things I feared I couldn't do, had become automatic. Especially the relationsship with my wife did really suffer under this. Use this shitty experience of getting dumped to become the most awesome version of your self. If you'll need anything feel free to ask here or somewhere else in the forum and I'll be happy to lend you my brain. I try to look especially often in the new journals to give feedback, because it helped me so much as I got feedback from people who don't get payed for it. 

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13 hours ago, indie_rok said:

Today, my girl friend dumped me.

She never said why, but my intuition tells me the reason.

 

I want to share a story about my daughter.  There was this guy in SoCal (we live in Norcal) that she met at EDC and dated up to the boyfriend/girlfriend phase.  They had a lot of fun, but...

  • He had no car, so she always had to drive to see him.
  • He was a gamer so he had little money

Sometimes on the phone, he would stop listening to her because he was trying to game at the same time.  Sometimes he would end a romantic call early because his buddies were going online to do some quest.

Then came the time when she planned a visit, drove 6 hours to LA for a weekend, and...

  • There was no food in the house
  • So they would have to go out (which he could not afford, so she would have to pay)
  • His laundry was not done so he had nothing to wear
  • He had made no effort to clean his place up.  It was a sty.

To her, it was like saying "I will only love you if you do all the work and pay for everything".  

She left him that weekend.  12 hours driving just totally wasted (though she did go have dinner with some of their mutual friends before coming home).

Don't turn into that guy. 

You know how you hear there is a concert happening, and you go online for tickets, and it's $500, so you do this thing called cost-benefit analysis and decide that, though fun, the cost is just way to much for what you get out of it.

Next time you go to buy a game, tally the cost up in your head.

  • $20 sign up
  • $10 a month
  • Stunt your social maturity
  • Lose your girlfriend
  • Lose the ability to get the next girlfriend
  • Lose promotions at work (or great grades at school) because you quit at 4:45 every day to get online.

The cost is much MUCH higher than what it says on the download page.

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Thank you very much for your comments!

LoL support just contacted me asking me if I was sure about this decision. But reading your comments helped me alot to confirm what I wanted to do.

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Welcome to the forum! 

You just took the first step, and one of the hardest. Seriously, acknowledge yourself for it, it was big. In the YouTube channel you have videos on how to manage the different emotions you'll be experiencing, and also you can check the +60 hobby list for suggestions on new activities to fill the void of video games. 

Good luck, looking forward to your journal! 

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Day 1 - Why I play

Under @WorkInProgress advice, I watched the video series videos.

Cam asks about why you play.

It took me a while to figure it about,but I think I have the answer.

  • To escape reality. Some times I need to an escape from my emotions (instead of dealing with them). Did I just had a fight with my girl friend? Its easier to play LoL. Am I feeling angry because I am procrastinating way to much? It is better to open Titan Fall.
  • Because it is easier to feel that you are doing something good. Wanna level up in LoL? Just play a few hours and you will ge this new item, this new character. Wanna get cool abs? Work your ass 6 months on the gym. Its harder. Way way harder.
  • Because I don't have anything better to do. It is OK to be bored. It is not OK to fulfill this time with activities where you don't learn nothing. I should be reading, or practicing my social skills, or climbing a damn mountain. Not playing Battlefront the whole freaking weekend.

I still miss my girlfriend. But as @Some Yahoo  and @Mimetic suggested, I will became the best version of myself. I just need the time and patience with my self.

Your responses have been amazing.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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7 hours ago, indie_rok said:

Day 1 - Why I play

Under @WorkInProgress advice, I watched the video series videos.

Cam asks about why you play.

It took me a while to figure it about,but I think I have the answer.

  • To escape reality. Some times I need to an escape from my emotions (instead of dealing with them). Did I just had a fight with my girl friend? Its easier to play LoL. Am I feeling angry because I am procrastinating way to much? It is better to open Titan Fall.
  • Because it is easier to feel that you are doing something good. Wanna level up in LoL? Just play a few hours and you will ge this new item, this new character. Wanna get cool abs? Work your ass 6 months on the gym. Its harder. Way way harder.
  • Because I don't have anything better to do. It is OK to be bored. It is not OK to fulfill this time with activities where you don't learn nothing. I should be reading, or practicing my social skills, or climbing a damn mountain. Not playing Battlefront the whole freaking weekend.

Temporary Escape, Instant Gratification and Procrastination, you got it man. Now that you're aware it's time to take action B|

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22 hours ago, Hitaru said:

Temporary Escape, Instant Gratification and Procrastination, you got it man. Now that you're aware it's time to take action B|

Hell yeah! B|

--

Day 2 - Feeling boring and lonely

I miss gaming. I miss my girlfriend.

I finished today my work day bored.

I am a school teacher and right now were are grading to our students. It is incredibly boring :(

Reading: https://gamequitters.com/video-series-3, says that this is normal. Dopamine levels released by video games are high. Not cool.

After my exhausting day I just wanted to do 2 things:

Cuddle with her. Ask about her day.

But I am also committed to not reach her. She finished the relationship. She needs the space.

Right after, I wanted to play LoL. (As I usually did, avoiding dealing with my emotions)

Instead I just decided to sleep. Cry a little bit. Let the pain go.

Acknowledge that life is a learning curve. It never ends.

You never stop learning, because you never stop living.

I tried before to quit video games. My record was 54 days. This time will be 90. Possibly for ever, now I don't feel alone.

Having this journal is amazing!

--

Also, I just got Re spawn. I'll share my learnings tomorrow. 

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Day 2 - Respawn |  Why I want to quit video games.

  • To stop procrastinating.
  • To read more.
  • To discover new social activities.
  • To have the time to learn how to be a better educator (I am an school teacher).
  • To be a best engineer.
  • To have the time to finish college. (I never did).
  • To allow myself to be bored and discover new activities that I like.
  • To be more disciplined with my self.
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DAY # 5

Time I woke up:  08:00 am

Time I went to sleep yesterday:  1:00am

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ Gave and incredible lesson to my students about Javascript.

~ Make out with a beautiful girl.

~ Bonded really well with my co workers.

~ Made 2 new friends. 

 

Summary of Day #:

it was a really good day. Last work day of the year, so I really focused with my students to commit my self about their learnings.

Also I asked out a girl that I really liked from a few months ago.

She instantly said yes.

Went to a bar, had some wine, then make out at my apartment.

It was awesome.

 

What I am grateful for today:

~ Have an incredible team at work.

~ Having this job that allows me to improve my self every day.

~ I went to eat this awesome stake. It was beautiful.

~ The feeling that I am getting my life back on track.

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if you don't mind me asking, is this the result of a rebound, to have some fun or would be you be willing to make this a serious relationship?

 

anyways, have a happy christmas

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On 12/19/2017 at 5:59 AM, indie_rok said:

Day 1 - Why I play

Under @WorkInProgress advice, I watched the video series videos.

Cam asks about why you play.

It took me a while to figure it about,but I think I have the answer.

  • To escape reality. Some times I need to an escape from my emotions (instead of dealing with them). Did I just had a fight with my girl friend? Its easier to play LoL. Am I feeling angry because I am procrastinating way to much? It is better to open Titan Fall.
  • Because it is easier to feel that you are doing something good. Wanna level up in LoL? Just play a few hours and you will ge this new item, this new character. Wanna get cool abs? Work your ass 6 months on the gym. Its harder. Way way harder.
  • Because I don't have anything better to do. It is OK to be bored. It is not OK to fulfill this time with activities where you don't learn nothing. I should be reading, or practicing my social skills, or climbing a damn mountain. Not playing Battlefront the whole freaking weekend.

I still miss my girlfriend. But as @Some Yahoo  and @Mimetic suggested, I will became the best version of myself. I just need the time and patience with my self.

Your responses have been amazing.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

That's some real awesome insight!!

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/23/2017 at 1:19 PM, -n.g- said:

if you don't mind me asking, is this the result of a rebound, to have some fun or would be you be willing to make this a serious relationship?

 

anyways, have a happy christmas

I don't mind at all, I think is a mix between option number 1 and 2.

On 12/24/2017 at 5:13 AM, dirkj3 said:

That's some real awesome insight!!

Thanks!

----

Holly sh*t, it's been a while!

Happy new year by the way.

I went to the beach in the holidays, so I barely could connect to anything.

There are plenty of good news.

This is day 16 with out video games, not event smartphone video games.

I feel so damn powerful right now.

I learned to surf on holidays.

I have really big plans for 2018.

My ex contacted me BTW, actually we went to the beach together. We are trying to fix things.

I have not told her about the girl that I hook up with meet on the time that we did not were together. I probably never will :)

----

I will constantly update from now on.

So:

DAY # 16

Time I woke up:  07:00 am

Time I went to sleep yesterday:  11:00pm

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ Gave and incredible lesson to my students about Javascript.

 - Had a huuuuge feedback session with myself about 2017. And realized how much I learned in 207.

 - As part of my 2018 plans, contacted 4 old friends to do business or have a friendship.

- Planned my trip to Europe for the following month. (Fixed passport issues also)

Summary of Day #16:

It was a really productive day.

At work I gave a really cool lesson to my students, they really like my classes. I am grateful for that. It's been tempting not to play games, my GF just gave the the mario kart deluxe and I want to play it so badly. But I am committed to the 90 days so I'll wait. I am feeling do tired in the afternoons, I need more energy, not sure how to get it yet. 

Also, at work, I asked for a raise. I really need it. They approved it but we need to negociate the amount.

What I am grateful for:

- Having a really cool job.

- Found the book that I am currently reading : "33 strategies of war". Really cool.

- Had those extra 2 hours to take a really energising nap.

----

As extra, I would like to share a picture with you guys:

LeNew21.jpg

This is me with my GF in Sayulita, México.

An incredible beach i recommend you all to go.

--

Happy new year to everyone.

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DAY # 23

Time I woke up:  07:30 am

Time I went to sleep yesterday:  1:00am

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ Gave and incredible lesson to my students about Javascript.

- Had sex with a pretty girl.

- Made a new business contact.

Summary of Day #16:

Really nice day.

I woke up with a beautiful girl spooning me and telling me "Good morning handsome". It felt nice.

Then I went to the school, and my students loved my lesson.

At the end of the day, and old friend contacted me asking for web design project quote, we seemed really interested.

Yesterday I bought a ticket to Europe. I leave on Monday. So damn excited.

What I am grateful for:

- Have the money and time to travel Europe.

- Have people around me that appreciate me.

- My students, such a lovely girls.

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