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Question of the week: What are you grateful for?

Some Yahoo

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About Some Yahoo

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  • Birthday 07/08/1961

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  1. Some Yahoo

    Hello everyone

    It's great to have you here.
  2. Some Yahoo

    Dopamine and another 90 days

    Not really. I have all kinds of company private data I deal with. And as far as books, I will look at these, thanks.
  3. Some Yahoo

    Dopamine and another 90 days

    I think I might need to do another detox. I had a revelation yesterday. I work from home, and I get this psychological block all the time. I am sitting there and I have the software open to do my work, but I can't force my mind to get in there and get the work done. Most of the time I can't even get started. I fight with myself - often producing a lovely stress headache in the process. 90% of the time, I end up browsing the internet or watching YouTubes. Yesterday it hit me. That headache is dopamine withdrawal. Watching videos gives my brain at least some hope of a little drip of dopamine, so I am drawn to it. I know I won't get that from working, so I get this headache telling me that if I do that, it's gonna hurt. It's like a Pavlovian response. If I pursue the work, I'll get pain, but if I play, I might get a little hit of dopamine. Dopamine is not evil: it's a normal part of brain chemistry. It's meant to be like strawberries. You love them, and every spring, you get a couple of baskets of them and have a couple nice treats. But what we gamers have conditioned ourselves to is like eating 20 pounds of strawberries every day and little else. Our brain chemistry is starving for the other good chemicals needed to be healthy and well adjusted, but we keep loading up on strawberries. I am getting the feeling that I at least need to redo the detox, but instead of just games, I need to detox from the whole dopamine dependency. That means YouTube, porn, right-wing news, social media, deviantart, all of it. I feel like all I did the first time was switch drug dealers. Live and learn, I guess. I post this embarrassing mess in the hopes that some of you who are relapsing over and over might see some truth and try again. I am not a brain scientist, and there is little reason to blindly trust my conclusions, but maybe it can help some of you. I'll let you know if this new approach helps me. FYI one thing you can try along with your detox is exercise. Working out is supposed to stimulate good brain chemistry (endorphins) and aid with depression. Good luck, all of you. I know your friends looked at you like a loon when you told them you were addicted to video games, and said things like "That's an addiction? Just quit and be done with it!". But we know that this is a beastly thing to conquer. Yeah it's a first-world problem, but that doesn't make it not a problem.
  4. Some Yahoo

    Relapsed? Read this.

    I look at relapse like this: the first time I took 20 years to quit: but after my relapse it was only a few weeks. The wising-up period gets shorter and shorter, and you still win.
  5. No. A card game is a social thing with other people. Also, there is no group of people that are going to acree to play hearts 16 hours a day instead of bathing, eating, or going to work and school.
  6. Some Yahoo

    "You suck at parenting" - Is it always true?

    Every parent has 0 hours experience on the day their first child comes home. Parenting is a job of teaching and gradually letting go. Parents are not supposed to be like a police state. Failing to notice bad behaviors is not bad parenting. Think of parenting in terms of shipbuilding. 18 years of work all culminating in that day the ship slides out of dry dock and sails the sea on its own. Over time, children learn that there are consequences to their choices, and there has not been a human yet that has not made some bad choices. Teach them when they are young. But let them make their own mistakes too. As for our parents, they were as imperfect as we are. Unless they are actively hateful to you, they are probably good parents. Children are frustrating, and they know how to find what lights a parent up. Cut your ancestors some slack, appreciate all they have sacrificed for you.
  7. Some Yahoo

    Should i get a gaming laptop ?

    I would purposely get a non-gaming laptop. There's no such thing as a little addicted.
  8. Some Yahoo

    Is gaming still okay?

    If you are an addict, then no. Imagine if a crack addict asked you if it was OK to just have a little crack - you know, with friends. Our personalities lead us to always increase gaming. It's better to apply our minds on better things.
  9. Some Yahoo

    Boredom

    Blender is *not* an easy learn. It is designed by 3d wonks for 3d wonks. That said, if you were gaming about 16 hours a day like some of us, you can apply all that free time to conquering it. There are tens of thousands of tutorial videos out there on Blender. Go through them - even the ones that are so basic you think Dr Seuss wrote them. Do them multiple times. You'll get it, people do. Your weapon is the time you have recently freed up by breaking up with the harsh mistress of gaming.
  10. Some Yahoo

    Honesty and Trust with Partners

    Going a step farther, you can tell her how to catch you. Tell her to listen for certain keyboard patterns. Working or browsing news sounds different than gaming. Get rid of your headphones and joystick/controller. Turn the desk so she can see from the hall. Bring the laptop/tablet into the living room. When she goes out, go with her. Help her shop or do whatever. Marriage is us against the world. Be as open as you can with her.
  11. Some Yahoo

    ToastMasters

    What can be more scary to a shut-in, introverted loner like us than speaking in public? Seriously. Maybe lion taming. I have on my screen the local ToastMasters website. They meet on Thursday. I want to go check it out, but realistically I fear it so much I will probably "forget" about it on the night. I'm hoping to divert this fear into excitement, and actually go. Someday I have to break out of this shell. https://www.toastmasters.org/ - main page http://mantecatoastmasters.org/ - local chapter to me, if you want to go see if I chicken out.
  12. Some Yahoo

    It gets easier...

    When I had my first relapse, it took about 3 weeks for me to feel the hatred of video game. I was actually playing the game when I leaned back in the chair and realized I am bored as Hell. These games are all incredibly boring! Jump on the rock, shoot the enemies, use the right sequence of attacks to make things dead. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Make it to the top of the hill. Repeat. No challenge: my lizard brain has the sequence down pat. This time I was not dumb enough to give them any money, but what I did was just as bad, perhaps worse. I gave them my time. You see, one can always make more money. But one can never make more time. It's all safely uninstalled now.
  13. Some Yahoo

    What I never Understood about Nihilism.

    The definition I had for it is everything is meaningless and by extension, anytime you think something has meaning, you are fooling yourself. I agree with you about value. Why is gold more valuable than silver? Because everyone kind of agrees that it does. People give these minerals value: by themselves they are neutral. The same holds true for pretty much everything. I spoke of nihilism in the same terms as Dr. Peterson (who knows a thing or two) as the belief that everything is meaningless. If I oversimplified, well that's just because I'm oversimple.
  14. This all applies to me. I'm not judging anyone else. Nihilism (the belief that life is meaningless) is almost like a religious faith. It's not a faith in yourself, or a loving God, or a family of Man that is worth striving for: Nihilism is nothing like that. I had always thought that goths and emos chose nihilism as a belief system to be dark and edgy, but that's not how it works. What happens is that your faith in everything you hold dear is systematically shattered until all you have left is this raw animal need to eat and sleep. Work hard? Why, will it matter that I turned in a 60 hour week? Get good grades? What, so I can go to some college and extend the meaningless of school for four more years? Be kind, caring, trustworthy, loyal? Why, so others can get the drop on me and eff me over before I see it coming? That's nihilism. And gaming is perfect for us. One major thing that gaming provides (even though it's FAKE) is a sense of meaning. You can be sitting in your room, your soul aching at your stupid trapped life, but a game will make you feel needed, wanted, valued. Just like the programmers designed it to. The thing I learned is that Nihilism is that dark, empty place that your soul flails against. Because it's wrong. Because you have meaning and purpose, it was designed in to your soul. Because it's only lies and poison that have led you here. But do you want to hear the GOOD news? It's also a lie that you are trapped. The human spirit cannot be trapped like that. Even slaves have a free spirit. You can walk away from the darkness at any time. And even if you trip and fall when you try it, you cannot be stopped. Put the controller down. Embrace responsibility. Be who you are. Watch this. I found it inspiring.
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