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Some Yahoo

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About Some Yahoo

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  1. Thanks Jason, my drawing skills are improving thanks to some classes I'm taking on Skillshare. For years I had about a 3rd grade skill level at drawing, but I think I am up somewhere around 4th or 5th now. Still getting used to drawing on my laptop though, and I think I have been using entirely too low resolution. Next image will be 4x this resolution. I find that I balk at authority - because, HEY I'm American - even my own better angels. My typical relapse looks like this: Me: Damn I miss gaming. Angel: You know better than this... Me: (starts the download) yeah I'
  2. This is my cringey sketch I based the render on.
  3. Good stuff. Yeah I would have hated Zoom U. Interviewing is a skill. You get better every time you do it. Here is some sage interviewing advice I have put together over a few decades. Take every interview you are offered. Get in front of somebody and fail at it to learn how to do it better. You're gonna suck at first, but look at it like a game skill. Level it up. Look up the organization before you go. Are they a public company? Are they a Mom n Pop? How old is the company? What do they do? Whenever possible, make them do most of the talking. People love to
  4. Try posting in your journal to your future self. Imagine you could sit with your future self and tell him how awful D2 (or any game) makes you feel, what it does to your life, job, school, relationships. Tell him how useless it is to excel at something no one will ever care about. Then post a sticky on your screen border that says, Before installing games go to https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/9738-i-need-sleep-help/. There is a windows app called Sticky Notes. Just hit the Cortana button and type in "Sticky".
  5. Thank you, me for your April 7 post. I just literally heard my own face say, I need a game, I need a game. But I came here instead. It could have ended very differently. I have recently been burned by relapsing into Tera. My other go-to, SWTOR is so insanely frustrating when you're not a subscriber that it's kinda not that tempting anymore. Why did I give up on Tera? Let me tell you this, oh future-er me. They nerfed the game so you can level to max in like a week. Then its a massive endless grind for end game gear. Three hours of frustration might yield a +2 item. it's so
  6. Made this last night. the office, mug, steam, and phone are by me. the rest is downloaded. It's called "Coffee"
  7. So let me tell you what happened to me after I uninstalled DCUO. When I say "you", I mean the Some Yahoo of the future who FORGOT how awful this was. I began to sleep 12 hours a night, and missed a lot of work. I absolutely COULD NOT stay awake or focus on my work. I have an afternoon's work and I just can't make myself DO it. On the bright side, quitting the game (again) lets me wake up with a small pilot light of hope. The dumb thing about DCUO is that I don't actually like the game that much. *sigh* Also on the upside, I am making a web site to
  8. Spent a week in DCUO. Stupid brain.
  9. I worked today. It was hard and frustrating and I didn't solve the problems I had hoped to. But I didn't game. It was hard. But I did it.
  10. Some things I am trying to integrate into my cognitive reality. Life is not what happens to you, it's something you build with your own drive and purpose. Life is hard. If it was easy, we'd all be lazy, and no one would be particularly successful. The universe is a dead place. Each life violently rips a hole in the omnipresent death, one that we must scratch and claw to hold open. Fucking up death and decay is where victory and happiness ultimately come from. There is no feeling better than victory. Overcoming hard obstacle
  11. There is a flipside to blaming myself. Seeing myself as the source of the problem means that I am also the source of the fix. I tend to wallow in a state of victimhood, feeling like someone did this to me. It's partly true, games are designed to consume as much of our time as they can. But I have no control over how games are designed. For me, blaming myself is a key to unlock the jail. So I appreciate you trying to lighten the guilt over what I did to my family, my future, and my friends, but I need to own this or I will lose the power to change it.
  12. Giving away my guild on SWTOR mixed with the limitations of "preferred" to "subscribed" has done the trick. Damn dopamine has me drifting toward the game again, but those limitations have kept me from re-installing. I loaded Eve Online last week, but uninstalled again last night, as the game is very boring. You mine, mine, mine, get ganked, start over. People spend every waking moment in that game, even though it's largely sitting around waiting, or working to gank people - in other words being a festering dick. The problem is this: The life I have constructed for myself outsid
  13. OH MY GOD I have not posted in the last 3 days, because I have been... what's the word?... WORKING. Today I release a software package I had been putting off for months. You know what's better than racking up a million fake game credits you can't pay the bills with? EARNING ACTUAL MONEY AND MAKING CLIENTS HAPPY. Anyhow, Zoom call to to, and hopefully I got this most of the way there. For those of you who don't code, a programmer works from a set of requirements, but the delivered software ALWAYS has some nuance that the programmer didn't get quite perfect, or that the clien
  14. I did it. Uninstalled the game. It's just not worth playing without a subscription. I turned my guild over to a random guildie so even if I went back I would not have that. I just can't shake this emptiness. Was talking to my wife earlier. Of course she does not get it. I hate this feeling of WANTING to quit, KNOWING it's the worst thing for me, yet CRAVING it - even though I know it comes packaged with defeat and self-loathing. It seems to me like if my own mind wants to quit, then that should be the end of it. Why is that not so?