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sskieller

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Everything posted by sskieller

  1. So yeah. Very long time since Ive written on this forum - 60 days.. Life happened and a bachelor needed finishing and stuff. Jobs had to be applied to. Stress, Stress, Stress. Finished it all with the grade B in my bachelor. Very great I think. But no more education for me. Now I am finally here with a bachelors degree, a full-time job and still no games played. So grateful. Days without games: 107 Grateful for (3 things)? That I am finally done with my education that I have a job already My girlfriend for getting me through What went well since last post? I finished my bachelors. I got a full-time job. I have not played. What will I do differently? Try to write more now that my life isn't so stressful anymore. What is my current long term goal? 5 months on my wedding day! more than 3 months in now 😄
  2. My days right now... Busy busy busy. Really looking forward to the end of this semester when I am done with school. I am so very tired of going to school now. I've spent almost 7 years in the University, another 4 in College and another 12 in other forms of school. So I've pretty much spent my entire life in the school... Now I just want to pass all subjects and get on with my life! Days without games: 47 ! Grateful for (3 things)? - Soon done with school - my friends - my girlfriend What went well since last post? - I have not gamed - I have worked a fair bit on my school projects What will I do differently? Procrastinate less by writing my objectives into my calendar What is my current long term goal? 5 month badge! already 3/10 of the way
  3. That would probably be an idea yeah. But it wasn't on social media or reddit that I found the news actually. it was just a standard newspaper which makes it even harder ... Nevertheless, reddit is a source yes. But blocking the subreddits works wonders for me actually. The days just rush past right now to no end. I don't really remember what I was doing all of the days since I last wrote. It has just been a mix of eating, homework, school, assignments, more eating and sleep. And then the occasional "hygge" session with my girlfriend. I really feel like this will continue from now on until like the end of january when the exam period are finished. I've begun looking for a job to start on immediately after school. Could be a huge boost to my economy if I could start right away. Would be so awesome. Just gotta focus on one day at the time, staying on my long-term goal and then attend the weekly GA sessions on sunday. Even when I'm tired and don't really want to go. Days without games: 33 Grateful for (3 things)? - A month without gaming - Almost being done with school - Having some hobbies that I like What went well since last post? Havent gamed Have a wonderful time with my girlfriend What will I do differently? What is my current long term goal? 5 months badge at wedding!
  4. So these past like 14 days I've been so extremely busy. Had a gigantic assignment from school which I ended up spending close to 100 hours on, all in the span of 8 days... So I've been extremely stressed and haven't had the energy to journal at all. All I could think or dream about was that assignment. Thankfully I finished it friday afternoon... Yesterday we held 1 year anniversary for our relationship, me and my girlfriend. Was a super great day which I had planned and she loved it. I also read the news about the new Diablo IV coming out, and I had a talk with my girlfriend about me thinking about it. It was actually great talking with her and explaining what I did to me. So I just gotta be extra careful the next couple of days. Still extremely tired from this assignment marathon and it's usually when I'm real tired that I get the relapse signs flowing. But nope, no relapse for me. 5 months badge instead! Days without games: 27 Grateful for (3 things)? - Finally being finished with my gigantic assignment for schoo - My family - Christmas decorations What went well since last post? - I didn't play - I talked with my girlfriend about when I was tempted for something unlike what I've ever done What will I do differently? Not take huge breaks from journaling What is my current long term goal? 5 months badge on wedding day!
  5. Thursday was a busy day with lots of work on the Bachelors I'm working on these months. We reached a huge milestone which means that we can move forward to second part now. Had a GREAT time with my girlfriend in the evening. Very cozy and happy evening. Friday was just school upon school upon school which ended with me coming home, to a girlfriend wanting to do something, so we ended up playing board games at a café with "brother in law" because my sister wasn't home. We played from 20-01 so that was a long night, but fun. Saturday went with drilling over 30 holes in the apartment for new shelves that needed to be set up, and a few new lamps as well. Took the entire day. Ended the day with joining a party for a couple of friends moving in together. Was really fun yet again. Today, sunday, went with cleaning the entire freaking apartment, took like 4 hours - 2 people. So much stuff just laying around from the saturday drilling. But now its finally clean and it looks good and there is no more crap on the floor. Great succes. Days without games: 13 Grateful for (3 things)? - Having a great bunch of people around me - A clean apartment - Being able to borrow a ladder near me when I need it instead of having to store it in my apartment What went well since last post? The only times I've had to restrain myself from gaming was friday afternoon, when a friend of mine asked if I wanted to play some random multiplayer game, where I really just wanted the time to go, but I did not accept the invitation. What will I do differently? What is my current long term goal? 5 months badge on our wedding day Work it everyday, just a bit.
  6. Jesus christ, I did not know that happened, since I'm using an extension for black theme. Thanks for the headsup is it black=?
  7. Have you tried with the barriers that cam talks about? Like for example, installing Cold Turkey to block applications and websites, or Stay Focused on the phone to block access to Google Play Store for example, and then have someone else put a password on the blockers. For me personally, I think that this is a huge help, because 1. I don't have to decide whether I want to game or not, because I can't unless I try really hard, 2. Usually I have had relapses in the past because I've failed my resolve just ever so slightly, and if I just had a little barrier more, then I probably wouldn't have relapsed at that time. It's more like making it harder, so you have more "time" to make a good decision instead of just falling into the games again. Anyways, that really works for me. Your idea of leaving the computer probably is quite a good strategy aswell and I really like that you think about it this way. On the resolve and willpower part however, just a little barrier can go a long way. ?
  8. Sounds like you have a blast quitting video games ? I had a thought: Do you have any strategies set in place for when you do get urges to play again?
  9. Good on you for starting a new journal ? I've been where you are as well, just being ultra hyper productive, which in the end is exhausting when starting motivation quiets down a little. So to you: Good luck to you with the slow and steady. That's atleast my strategy for now as well.
  10. Oh boy are you getting busy. it's so nice to see you take off like a rocket on this journey ? Just be sure to be able to cut down on some activities when it gets a little harder to not game, when your motivation has quieted down a little. Maybe it won't happen for you, I don't know. But for me it has happened a few times, where I overloaded on activities in the start and then sort of lost track and motivation with all the new stuff I had to do. Starting with a few things at a time and working those into my schedule fully and then continue with other things, has been the only way that I've been able to add a lot of new stuff. But then again, you are not me, and I'm not you. So continue onwards with this rocket speed and you're on the Moon by the time you reach 90 days! ?
  11. @liam thanks for your kind words. I do think that most of us could learn from some Chinese proverb ? Jokes aside, I think working a positive philosophy as you mentioned is very important to keep moving. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ These last few days have been great. Monday went with tons of studying and then had a great evening with my girlfriend, where we had full focus on each other. Tuesday went with school and then an 8 hour session of DnD in the evening, great fun. And finally today, wednesday, I went to a christmas sale with my girlfriend and mother in law, which was super duper nice and we had great fun. Also we found decorations for our wedding! Which was not even christmas decorations.. I can really feel that my girlfriend is much more happy now that I actually give her attention while we are spending time together, rather than before where we spent time together, but my attention were at the games. Also I am really looking forward to going to the GA meeting again. I kinda miss being in that place with all the wonderful people and all the wonderful support. It's really great to have a place where you can let go once a week, and people just listen to you. Days without games: 9 Grateful for (3 things)? - GA meetings - My girlfriend - Christmas! A little early, yes yes, I know, but still! What went well since last post? Haven't gamed at all Went to school where there were a few people gaming - in school... - and I did not really think about gaming. Well... that's not true. I kinda wanted to game, but with all my restrictions set up, which makes it ultra hard, and most importantly with my goal of setting a 5 month streak on my wedding day, my thoughts quieted down after a little while. What will I do differently? What is my current long term goal? 5 month streak at my wedding day on 14th march 2020! will work with my addiction minimum 5 minutes per day, every day!
  12. I think you could get some value out of checking out some of Cam's videos, like for example: Or: That way you can get some pointers on whether or not you're cheating or not from Cam himself, and a way to stop if you're interested ? Anyways. Good seeing you here
  13. So these couple of days has been kinda busy with birthdays and me still trying to turn my sleeping rythm from holiday and not enough sleep cause games, and coffee at the wrong hours (8pm for example). But I went to the GA (Gamblers Anonymous) meeting today and I had a blast. It was really great going down there and getting to talk with some people some of who shares the same problems with me, and some who have other problems than me but just talking about it. I met a guy that I started the addiction treatment with and he's been doing great, having been free of gambling for over a YEAR - holy shit, I've never done that. My longest is like 7 months. So proud of him. Anyways, I've promised my girlfriend I will attend these meeting every week on sunday, and so I will. It is really a great opportunity to talk with someone IRL. It is however only once a week, so I will keep my journal as well and mix it together. I think this will work best for me. My newly gained increase in free time not spent on games has meant that I've actually done some of the work I've been thinking about doing for quite some time now - and not been endlessly tired and unable to do it. So all in all I am feeling great. My girlfriend has also been able to relax more now that I'm not running around in the shadows, lying to her and all. But: I NEED TO WORK IT EVERY DAY. EITHER I'M MOVING FORWARD, OR I'M SLIDING BACKWARDS. Days without games: 6 Grateful for (3 things)? That I still am with my girlfriend That I am doing okay in school That I have a family that supports me through my hardships What went well since last post? I went to the GA meeting, told my story, and it felt REALLY great going there again and opening up. What will I do differently? Start writing things I am grateful for What is my current long term goal? Showing my 5 month badge to my girlfriend on our wedding day Work min 5 minutes on my addiction each day
  14. Do you have a hard time keeping away from the old habits? If so, have you tried setting up barriers for you that makes it a lot harder to get back into it? Like Cold Turkey for the pc to block applications and websites, along with Stay Focused for the phone to block access to Google Play Store for example. Then set a password on each of the applications which someone else keep. That way you will have a harder time getting back and easier time focusing on the important things in life.
  15. Sounds like you are doing great this time around Liam ? from my experiences it's when you stop working the problem that you relapse and it sounds like you really are working it this time If you haven't done already setup the barriers that bar you from gaming 'easily' like Cold Turkey for the computer and Stay Focused for the phone - it really really helps when the decision to whether you can game or not is out of your hands. I recommend this greatly.
  16. First of all, thank you Liam! That is so true and didn't see it in that light before, so thanks for pointing that out to me. ? These couple of days has been kinda easy since it is still so fresh and the motivation is still in full flourish - something that in my experience fades and flourishes again with time. I have been tempted a few times on my phone, but since I now has a blocker on the phone that stops me from installing apps unless a code is written, which I of course don't have, it is rather easy for me to not get tempted. Google play store was my tempting place before with all the games advertised all over the place. I dont really use the PC for gaming. I don't have for a long time. It has been ruined for me knowing that I can't get to play for long, and that it is the single worst decision in my life to do so. The phone is really where the problem has been. The solution to this problem has always been to keep working at the problem. Tell myself every day, that "Today, I will promise myself that I will not game" and then be the person that does not break a promise to myself. When I am weak, that's where the barriers are great, and the goals are really important. I just haven't worked on it. "It was probably okay gaming once in a while...". Anyways. Yesterday I attended a company eat-out where we went to this VR place first. There a movie where you sat in a shark cage and could try the VR experience. Which was fine and showed a little bit about what VR is. Then there was a multiplayer zombie shooter game with my colleagues which I did NOT join. Instead I spent the time talking to those people who were not in an experience. And I am proud of myself that I did not fall for the temptation. Today I will enjoy time with my fiance, having a day with a bit of a headache from yesterdays hardships and just enjoying my "holiday". I will also get further with the respawn objectives. Tomorrow and sunday is birthday parties for my family and my SO's. But on sunday I will attend the first GA (Gamblers Anonymous) meeting in a long time. They tell you that the only way to stay game free is to work it all the time and attend these meetings, and so naturally I cannot stay game free when I only join once every 2 years. So I have promised my self, my SO and my other family that I will attend every week, sunday, at least until christmas, whenever possible. I also told my parents about my relapse and as such my fiance will no longer bear the burden herself. I feel like I have been given another chance to do right by my fiance, and so I will. She is my princess on the white horse. Days without games: 4 What went well since last post? I did not game, and I did not join in on the company VR gaming experience. What will I do differently? What is my current long term goal? Showing my 5 month badge to my girlfriend on our wedding day. Work at it 5 minutes each day till the day I die.
  17. So... I have been sitting in this situation before - even created a forum post here before. Long time ago. This time I don't wanna keep relapsing again. It destroys my life like crazy everytime and it is just a crippling experience every time I fall back in. This thing, this addiction WILL also destroy my relationship with my family and with my girlfriend, and that is just something that if happened, I could never live with. So from today, 14-10-2019, there will NEVER be another game for me. By game I define it as follows: No ONLINE/PC/CONSOLE/PHONE/ELECTRONIC DEVICE game of all types No PUZZLES or LOGIC GAMES on electronic devices. No BOARDGAMES on electronic devices. What went well today? I came back to this site and started on the final journey of my gaming addiction What will I do differently tomorrow? NO GAMING What is my long term goal for now? I will commit to work on my addiction each day. Maybe just 5 minutes, maybe an hour, maybe longer - but MINIMUM 5 minutes each day. On my wedding day I want to show my girlfriend, fiance, then wife, a badge showing 5 months of no gaming. FORMAT: Days without games: https://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?d1=15&m1=10&y1=2019&d2=29&m2=1&y2=2020&ti=on Grateful for (3 things)? What went well since last post? What will I do differently? What is my current long term goal?
  18. Day 40 Just turning in to say hi again. Back from almost 3 weeks of holiday of all sorts. Good to be back without having wasted a single second gaming.
  19. An update on that stuff right there. I actually went out and planned stuff for myself to do. I proactively lived my life and had no trouble at all spending those 14 days. Damn if that don't feel good. I wonder when the bad times will hit.
  20. I REACHED 20 GOD DAMN DAYS! Spent the entire day reading through a book on communication skills. Figured out that there is an entire new world out there waiting to be discovered. I have so much to work on now that I've read a couple of these books for self-improvement. The future certainly seems bright. Tomorrow I'm going to a dance camp for 7 days. During this time I will have almost no time at the PC so there will not really be any possible chance to actually game. There can still be thoughts sure, and I will try to post whenever I get the chance. Probably not going to be every day. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): the sun the luxury of digital communication yoga class multitools my apartment the free school system books electricity beer music Today I learned: That the only way to get someone to do something is by making them want to do it That you should smile as much as possible during the day because this can affect your complete happiness throughout the day. Furthermore this shows appreciation for other people and makes you more likable. You should always be genuinely interested in other people and their stories if you want to talk with them, and especially if you want to be likable. Which leads to the next to subjects You should always strive to remember the first name of whoever you meet and use it for every meeting. Your name is the most precious voice you can hear. You should always strive to become a better listener. Don't think of points to say next, and if you do, forget them again. Don't interrupt the person talking but simply listen to their points. That you should not use the word "but" if you want something good out of a statement. Example 1: "I really like what you've done but you always use the same style." Example 2: "I really like what you've done. You always use the same style." By not using the word "but" you turn the sentence from being somewhat negative to being only positive and describing why you think what you think. Extremely helpful to know and makes such a big difference. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Practice handstand. ALMOST GOT IT. It is so hard to get yourself to lift your body over your head. Seriously... Followed morning routine Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday (apparently this did not have to be done today xd) Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 21. Third decade of days on the go! Follow morning routine Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona (did that somewhat) Making a mind map of my current direction in life (this has gotta be after the dance camp) Status of things: Days without gaming: 20 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, Mindset by Carol D. Dweck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 1 Mornings with daily Exercise: 1 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 9 Days I've won in a row: 9 (5th of July 2018) One amazing thing that happened/I did today Almost did a handstand. So close! Body/health Went to a yoga class. Damn if that ain't just the best thing in the world. Mind/soul Started the morning out with growth mindset speakings Continued my book on communication What progress did I make today? Continued reading about personal development. Feels like this is something I should never ever stop doing. What went well today: Spend the entire day reading. God I love reading. What I could have done to make my day better: Could have packed my shit. Turns out that is really easy to procrastinate on. What I will do differently tomorrow: Well, pack my stuff. Since I'll get travel tomorrow
  21. Day 19 Today was a great day. Had the pleasure to spend the entire day with a friend of mine whom I love spending time with. Also did some reading on communication skills and became aware of what I am usually doing wrong. Definitely going to keep reading up on this. But more importantly, I have to inject it into my life. Start living life in a new way. "I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Anonymous Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): my friends the sun books music clean water deodorant IKEA guides. Hell no if im gonna build those furnitures without. my scooter my life my personal growth Today I learned: some of my crush's other friends That you should always appreciate someone. Give honest and sincere appreciation a little bit everywhere you go. That you should not criticize, condemn or complain. Don't condemn, but figure out why people do what they do. Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Printed some stuff Wrote about salary Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday (this has to be done tomorrow) Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 20 soon! Clean the fridge Pack for holiday Follow morning routine Practice handstand Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona Making a mind map of my current direction in life Status of things: Days without gaming: 19 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, Mindset by Carol D. Dweck) Mornings with daily Gratitude:0 Mornings with daily Exercise:0 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 8 Days I've won in a row: 8 One amazing thing that happened/I did today I helped my friend build an IKEA furniture which made me able to be with her for the entire day, which was very nice. Body/health My body was resting today Mind/soul Started on a new book about communication. Feels like this could and should make its way into my communication skill book. Prepared for a growth mindset morning by making lists for keeping with the mottoes of the growth mindset. What progress did I make today? Continued reading about personal development. Feels like this is something I should never ever stop doing. What went well today: Spent my entire day with my friend. I love spending time with her. What I could have done to make my day better: I don't really know. Was a great day. What I will do differently tomorrow: Start out with my morning routine.
  22. Day 17 + 18 Yesterday was a great day. Met with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in quite some time. We did a bit of programming, but mostly catching up on each others lives, saw some movies together and ate a gigantic pizza. Felt great to finally meet up again. Kinda missed that guy. Today was the first day in a really long time where I didn't have anything specifically planned for the day. Turns out that my yoga class in the morning made sure I got up and had a great start on the day. Also did some headstands in the gym which went great and trained some core. Will try to do some more yoga classes while I still have holiday. Furthermore there was a meetup with some people I'm doing acroyoga with. Had a great time as well. Really grateful for that community - especially during these days where I don't really have anything specific to bolster my schedule. Also I read the mindset book by Carol Dweck. Really confirmed my assumptions that I have been stuck in the fixed mindset my entire life. I am trying to seriously figure out how to switch away from this mindset. This should be my goal above anything else as it really prohibits my further learning and growth. Today I was grateful for (3+ things!): my family my room the growth mindset my friends my life yoga class good sleep gamequitter forum beer my laptop Today I learned: Some more acroyoga poses that I have been battling with an extremely fixed mindset for most of my life and that I need to seriously work on changing this to procure learning and growth rather than beating myself down To do a headstand against a wall Goals completed today: Not playing a game. This is the important one. Bought a battery Wrote to the wrong person about salary. Doh! Still thought it was the right one. So I did technically do the task. But I have to do again. Genius. Goals I didn't complete today: Cleaned fridge Packed for my holiday Wrote about salary Goals for tomorrow: Not playing a game. Day 19 soon. Clean the fridge Pack for holiday Write about salary Meet with friend Print mindset papers Print holiday papers Goals for this week: Not playing a game (So far so good) Finding my mindset persona Making a mind map of my current direction in life Status of things: Days without gaming: 18 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 3 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mindset) Mornings with daily Gratitude:1 Mornings with daily Exercise:4 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 7 Days I've won in a row: 7 One amazing thing that happened/I did today Actually reached my foot in a pose I did in a yoga class. Never been able to reach that before. Also did a headstand ? Body/health Exercises was great. Dinner was even greater. Home cooked.. Mind/soul Read the rest of Mindset. Made me get a clearer goal of my priorities right now What progress did I make today? Started gratification again. Finished mindset and made a plan for continuing to develop my mindset What went well today: Met up with some dudes and did more acroyoga. Was great What I could have done to make my day better: Like, maybe actually do the goals set for the day. What I will do differently tomorrow: Do the goals I set for the day
  23. Day 16 Its gonna be a short one today I spent the time with some friends, met with my crush yet again. Seems to be stumbling into her at all times. Was still fine. Had a real shitty night, couldn't sleep, got up anyway this morning, this my gratification and exercise, ended up a pretty decent day. I'd say I won the day. Also just discovered that frozen grapes are the most weird thing in the world. Like why are they not frozen all the way through. Why are they still soft after 24 hours in the freezer. I do not understand. Status of things: Days without gaming: 16 (24th of June 2018) Books I've read: 2 (The Power of Habit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) Mornings with daily Gratitude: 2 Mornings with daily Exercise: 2 Daily meditations: 0 Days I've won: 4 Days I've won in a row: 4