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Brad's Journal


Brad_Hurst
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Hey guys,

I didn't post on my journal yesterday as I was in London all day!
I have created a video blog about this!

Video Blog 3

I seem to have forgotten to to write on Thursday too!

So briefly,

Day 14 - Thursday
- I woke up and went for my run in the morning!
- Attended my improv class (I can see how the "Yes and.." Concept will help me in real life)
I certainly do need to work on improving my general knowledge though, as I often find that some topics and situations come up in improv where I have no knowledge in that area so making it extremely difficult to keep the ball rolling.
Which in real life i'd just ask questions but in improv you don't ask questions as you want the conversations to flow.
And this is how I want to be in real life too!
- Slept at my friends house so that I could wake him up at 4AM (Cause he's terrible in the mornings!) for our trip to London! :)

Day 15 - Friday 

London all day, watch video blog for more details.
I'm trying to work on the best way i'd explain the day to people to keep them interested whilst explaining my day.
I find that I could do some awesome shit (Like skiing or jetskiing), and when I begin to tell people my stories they still lose interest quickly.
And then someone else could just talk about the cup of coffee they just drank and make that seem more exciting xD
I've watched a couple of videos and shit on better story telling but could probably do with going over them again.
If anyone has any recommendations that'd be cool!
I think the Charisma on Command has a good video on this.

Day 16 - Today (Saturday)

Woke up at 8 after going bed at like 2:30AM after my London trip to go to my strength and conditioning class.
Once that finished I immediately went home, had some eggs on toast, shower and then slept for another 2 hours lol

I also FINALLY set up my vision board. I bought 6 cork boards, a shit load of pins and stuff at least 4 months ago and kept meaning to set this damn thing up. But they just continued sitting under my bed.
Today I finally committed to it, and got that motherfucker set up on the wall.

I haven't got much stuff on there at the moment, i'll probably spend some of my time tommorow getting some inspiration images, my goals, my to do list and anything else I deem worthy on my wall.
Once i've built it up, i'll probably take a picture of it and upload it on the forums!

But yeah, it feels fucking good to finally have set it up.
It's definitely going to help me with visualization and keeping me on track.

- Brad

 

 
 

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glad you liked my city! If you ever come back there is plenty of free stuff to do, just bring a food flask for lunch. And definitely visit a gay bar, its much more fun that a normal one and half the bar isn't gay anyway.

Perhaps you could write some bullet points or a small script before hand.

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@-n.g- - I'm sure there is! I will have to visit one at some point, but it's definitely not on the bucket list of things to do :P
And thanks for the tips, I'll give it a go before my next video blog.

Well shit I've not posted in a few days...
I've been so tired in the evenings after my classes that after chilling out for a little bit, gone straight to bed. I know no excuse!

Day 17 - Sunday -
I built a personal website, although I make plans to switch it to a proper domain rather than a free one!
I haven't fleshed it out yet however.

I had my weekly call with Cam.
He identified that I need to be getting out into nature more and being present with it all. So I need to schedule some time to do this, although my weeks are so bloody busy with work, commuting and all of the classes I do and then also trying to work on a side businesses.
This would be better for the weekends. Especially this weekend as I'm travelling up to Norfolk to see my Dad (not seen him in like a month or 2!). Great countryside out there.
I also need to learn how to copyright if I want to be successful online. For a start I need to get myself to a standard where I can do some freelance work.

I also watched the Formula 1, MAX VERSTAPPEN WAS ROBBED OF A GREAT PODIUM. FUK THE FIA BRAH.

Day 18 - Monday -
Work and then went Salsa Dancing! Also Bachata
My 3rd week now and I'm definitely getting the hang of it now.
I'm already out of the beginner classes and am now dancing with the regulars. Still a lot of improvement!
I had a few small chats with people when we were waiting for the class to start.

I still don't really speak to anyone on our short breaks.
I'm trying to be more present and not expect anything out of the social interactions.
When I want to speak to someone however, the only things I can seem to think of to talk about is asking someone "How long have you been salsa dancing for?"
But if i've already introduced myself to someone, I really find it difficult to think of other things to start conversations with later on.
Again I should focus on being present and enjoying the moment, but when I want to improve my social skills I feel this need of having to speak to someone.

One of the Bachata moves required me to hold the women's waist and then hold it for a couple of moves before pushing the waist to spin the lady.
MAYN IT FELT SO AWKWARD AHA. Especially since I was really struggling to go with the rhythm of the women so it felt like I was just clutching onto her waist desperately.
ARGH CRINGE.

Day 19 - Tuesday -
I woke up feeling really grogy and unmotivated.
Still had my daily cold shower that got me a bit more pumped.
Had a shitty day at work where I didn't really get much done. I often feel like i'm wasting my time because I want to be improving other areas of my life instead of sitting this damn desk all day.
So I was pretty annoyed that I did fuck all, all day.
Some motherfucker cut me up on my commute home, the first time i've EVER papped my horn at someone for doing something stupid. I'm always chill even when people do stupid things, I just let it slide and let them go. What good is complaining at someone gonna do?
Nah not yesterday, this guy was fucking PISSED Yo!
I chased that bitch down the road but by the time I went to overtake him I'd already calmed down lol.

Once I got home I had to release my anger and frustrations. No one was home so I just started shouting and singing whilst laughing to myself xD
I did 20 minutes of meditation and then put some BADASS tunes on, singing along as I left the house to go to boxing. I didn't give a fuck if anyone was around lmao.
Once I got home I watched 2 episodes of the Cosmos documentary as recommended by @thehondasc00py
It was VERY interesting and really opened up my mind and it makes you think how small and insignificant our world is compared to what is out there in the universe.
Also how beautifully crafted everything surrounding us is.
One HUGE thing I learned is that everything around us, we are related to. The trees surrounding us, we actually share DNA with them and millions of years ago we were the same!
Like bruh, the trees are my long lost brothers!
It's through mutations and natural selection that everything came to be so different.
Really fascinating and I'm excited to watch more!


I'll do today's post later on when some shit has actually happened.

An update though,
I'm now on day 23 of my NoFap and No Gaming journey.
I wonder if my low motivation recently has been due to flatlining from NoFap?

Also, I've been playing quick games of chess against computers whilst having a shit at work. Is that a relapse???
I feel like it isn't. But i'm curious if it affects the rewiring of my brain whilst on the 90 day detox?


- BRAD OUT

 

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GOD DAMNIT, I did it again!

No matter how interesting I find those documentaries, I always start to FALL ASLEEP.
I've been watching Cosmos: A Space Time Odyssey - I find it really fascinating and thought-provoking, yet as I lay there on my sofa my eyes gently begin to close and I end up falling asleep!
Maybe I'm just super tired? Or it's the position I put myself in on the sofa that triggers my sub-conscious mind to think it's time to sleep...
I think I will start watching these documentaries in a freezing cold bath tub, that'll teach me not to fall asleep!
Gah it's so frustrating because I really want to stay awake and pay attention!

So anyways, that's why I didn't post last night as I ended up falling asleep lmao.

So.... Day 20

I have now completed all 30 basic meditation exercises on the headspace app and also the 10 exercises on productivity.
I'm now starting a new pack called 'Anxiety'. It has 30 exercises. I'm really looking forward to going through this pack as it will help me recognise when I am stuck in a negative thought pattern. Recognise those thoughts and look at them from an outside perspective, which greatly reduces the impact those thoughts have on you. As I develop my ability to recognise my thoughts, I can begin to dig deeper into why those thoughts are arising and also hopefully reduce how much they come up.

I spent the majority of my time after work yesterday going through a basic copywriting course. I must have made about 8 pages of notes!
I really want to develop my copywriting skills as first of all I'll be able to apply the concepts in everyday life, but also and probably more importantly it will drastically improve my chances of success with my E-Commerce business.
I am just about to buy a course off of Udemy which should help me get started with a shopify dropshipping business.
I've been wanting to try out an online adventure for a very long time but have never actually made it happen.
Well it's about time I make a bloody start!
I plan to get to get through the majority of the course this weekend and hopefully I will have something up and running by the end of it!
 

I'm visiting my dad this weekend up in Norfolk, now the internet at his house is really SHIT but hopefully it won't impact me too much!
The real annoying thing is it is a 3 hour drive up there D:
But I've not seen him in like 2 months so it'll be nice to see him :)

Later on today i'll be attending my improv class, so I look forward to that!

-  Brad.

 

 

 

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Yeah we'll have to speak again soon.
I'm at my Dad's this weekend and the internet is really poor, we could give it a shot.
During the week at some point would be better.


Day 21 - Thursday

I keep forgetting to journal or am too tired to actually write it!
I attended my Improv class, did some basic jibberish exercises. It wasn't a very long class so wasn't really that exciting this time around!
When I got home I did some more research on my drop shipping stuff. 

Day 22 - Friday

Most of my time after work was occupied by driving up to my Dad's!
It's usually a 3 hour drive but it took 4 hours and 10 minutes!!!!!!!!
For like the first time ever I hit 100mph in my car xD That was pretty thrilling. I drive a 2000 Renault Clio Grande and that thing is slow as fuck brah. Like 0-60 in 20 seconds or something like that!
But shit it was sooo windy, at one point I nearly got blew off of the road - Thankfully cause i'm SICK at driving I caught that bitch aha.

Ah yeah and just to top off the journey, when we were sitting in traffic (My Sister and I). We both reclined our chairs as a laugh, but then my sister broke the FUCKING HANDLE.
So now my passenger seat is stuck in a fully reclined position! FABULOUS!

 

My exercising time has been decreasing recently due to the new classes i've taken up and also my friday fitness class has been moved to a monday. Which is when i'm at salsa.
I used to go gym on Monday's, Boxing Tuesday, Rest Wednesday, Boxing Thursday, Fitness class Friday, Fitness Class Saturday.
Now I only get the chance to box Tuesday and Fitness Class Saturday.
SOO. I'm going to try and change my working hours at work so that I begin and end work an hour earlier. It would mean waking up at 5AM everyday but I need to work out!
This will allow me to go gym on Monday's before Salsa, Box Tuesdays, Start doing Maui Thai on Wednesday, Run Thursday morning (Maybe i'll leave my working hours the same on this day...), gym Friday and fitness class on saturday!
Yeah I think that'll work! I really need to organise my time well during the week days to get shit done because work and commuting takes up so much!

Aight, Brad's checking out till later!



 

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Shit, look how wonky my glasses are in this video! xD

Lesson 2

 

Day 23 - It's been a quiet weekend, but nice.
I spent it in Norfolk visiting my Dad, I hadn't seen him in like 2-3 months.
It's really cool when I speak to my Dad because he's into all the self-help stuff too because he's trying to rebuild his carpentry business.
We literally speak for ages about it lol.
It was nice to get outside into the countryside a bit too, although admittedly I didn't really go off on any walks. I just stood in the garden.

We also went on a little spec ops mission stealing a bit of dirt from the farmers field for his new flower box xD

I also brought my chess board up this weekend and challenged my Dad to a game, we haven't played chess together in like 8-10 years! A long time.
It was nice to spend time playing some games with him.

The first game I beat him in three moves! AHA
That really beat up his ego haha.
I beat him again in the 2nd and 3rd game and then I started to give some tips on why I was able to beat him easily.
So the 4th game we played was alot closer and he would have beaten me if he didn't make the single mistake he made.
So 4-0 me. Woop woop.

Day 24 - Just chilled today really. We set off from my Dad's at 2pm and it took us 4 HOURS again to get home. PISS TAKE, it usually takes just under 3 lol.
At one point we got stuck in this huge traffic jam, so I randomly just started an 'Eye Spy with my little eye' game with my sister. That was pretty fun lol.

 

I will mention as well that recently I've been feeling pretty depressed and feeling like a failure.
Like i'm not doing enough even though I have made so much progress already.
I think it's just a phase and it will pass.
But I certainly need to get back on track and keep pushing forwards.
That is what inspired my latest lesson video!

- Brad.
 

 

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Whoa man I don't check your journal for a little while and suddenly you're doing all this stuff, amazing! 

Really glad to see you're doing well. Cause you're doing well, even if you sometimes feel a downer. Nah. Doing well, trust me. 

I laugh a lot when you talk about latin dances. Got a friend who's totally crazy about them and I can relate so well to those tiny details (and girl problems lol). Tried to teach me once or twice. I'm a dancing potato.

Also really appreciate the relationship you have with your family, looks healthy and harmonious. May have made me a tad emotional. F-for no special reason, ok!?

Keep going Brad! 

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@Hitaru - Hey thanks man, I really appreciate your comment :)
And dude, dancing takes practice! You gotta look like a fool before you look cool :P

And yes I should definitely be more grateful for the family I have. I am certainly very fortunate to have such a loving family. And I need to stop and recognise that sometimes.

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In today's post I will be listing all of the things I have done in over the last month.
I'm working on recognising myself for the actions I have been taking and the successes I have had.
I almost NEVER stop and think about what I have done, I'm always thinking about what I haven't done and what I haven't achieved.
Obviously this leads to a lot of negative emotions and dissatisfaction.

So here are some of the things I have done over the past month!

•Quit Videogames

•Quit Porn/Masturbation

•Meditated everyday

•Joined Salsa/Bachata classes

•Joined Improv Class

•Attended Martial Arts Classes (NUDDA and Maui Thai)

•Weekly fitness classes and gym

•Swimming every Sunday

•Approached a few random strangers in the street one day.

•Set up Vision Board

•Woke up early and gone on a 4 mile run before work.

•Watched a few documentaries

•Cold shower EVERY morning without fail

•Made my bed every morning

•15 minutes of reading everyday

•Went to a Bikram Yogo class

•FINALLY started taking action on online business

•Started this journal!

•Writing notes in notepad

•Started making a checklist for everyday

•Started using a calendar to help organise my time

•Weekly calls with ‌@Cam Adair

•Started waking up at 5AM to get stuff done before work

•Made video blogs and posted online to this forum

•Went to London for a full day with friend.

•Connected with ‌@thehondasc00py


Well that's all I could think of for now. And DAMN it sure feels good to see all that I have achieved over the past month.


Still, I have a long journey ahead of me and I need to remain committed and motivated because it is the small steps you take each day that eventually lead you to your goals!
This last month has been a HUGE EMOTIONAL rollercoaster but you have to be foolish to think a journey to greatness is going to be plain sailing.
I look forward to what the next month brings and all the surprises that come with it.


ALSO, in just over a month i'll FINALLY be heading off on holiday to Australia for 4 weeks! WOOOOO, so fucking excited - I've been wanting to visit Australia since I was like 8, and it's SOO DAMN NEAR AHA.

 

 

Just briefly what I did on Tuesday and Wednesday
Day 26- Tuesday
Woke up early, bought the domain name for my website and started my shopify free trial.
Began working through the Udemy course on dropshipping that I bought.
Meditated.
Went to my NUDDA class. My coach told me some exciting news!
Basically this weekend the founder of NUDDA is coming to our city to do a seminar on Saturday and Sunday.

Now I was already aware of this, but when he comes they are going to be introducing a grading system like they have in Karate.
After class my coach came up to me and a few of the experienced guys in the class.
And told us all that we have nothing to worry about regarding the grading system, we're all making the cut!
But that's not the cool part, he turned to me and said something along the lines of. "Brad, I'm really torn between what to grade you. Your ability is deserving of a yellow belt (level 2)
but you have been with us for such a short time! Your ability since joining has improved Ten Fold."
He then said he'd make his decision this weekend depending on how I perform. SO GUESS WHO IS GONNA BE KICKING SOME MOTHERFUCKING ASSSSSSSSSSSS!

There goes my competitive spirit again!

Now I just want to note something about myself here:
For some reason whenever I try a new sport or adventurous activity. I progress REALLY QUICKLY. I know this because I so often receive compliments on how quickly I pick things up and have improved.
I need to try and find what it is that has allowed me to be so successful in this sense and apply it to other areas of my life!

If I could progress as quickly with relationships or in business as I do with sporty activities. I'D BE A FUCKING BALLER BRUH

I think part of the reasons for this is because I am so self critical. I tend to identify my weaknesses very quickly which enables me to work on correcting them.

I think in other areas of my life, I would identify my weaknesses, i'd dwell on them and become overwhelmed with how to overcome them, I'd procrastinate and play video games to avoid them.
All of this builds up immense pressure and dissatisfaction with yourself. And now that I have quit gaming it has ripped that mother fucking bandade right off and it hurts like a bitch.

So yeah hence the huge rollercoaster ride I've been on this past month.


Day 27 - Wednesday

Woke up early again, cold shower, meditated and started setting up my website.
After work I had a call with Cam and I told him about my shitty commute home today.
He told me that we get to CHOOSE how we feel in every moment. And in every situation we get to make a choice on how we feel and how we'll act.
So I need to work on identifying when I'm in a negative slump and start to find the positives and opportunities in the situation instead!
After the call I hit the gym and pumped some iron yo.


This has been a LONG ass post today but it's nice to reflect and write down my thoughts and lessons.

One last thing, I'm going to try and be more active within the community. Far too often in my life I have been a taker and not a giver.
I think it's all about me.

But it's not, and this community is awesome so I need to start giving back!
Expect me to visit your journals soon! :)

Love you all,
Brad.

 

 

Edited by Brad_Hurst
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Alright Day 3 -

To be honest not much happened today.

I woke up and attended my Strength and Conditioning class in the morning. It's good fun as usual working out with the guys whilst having casual chats.
Once I got home I did 15 minutes of meditation, day 20 of my headspace journey. But god dammit I kept drifting off and thinking about random shit lol.

I set myself 2 hours to look more into Amazon FBA, I'm just currently trying to get a good understanding of how it all works whilst I save up money to buy the course so that I can actually start. But looking at all the success stories surrounding it, it's definitely very inspiring.

I also managed to find an improv class to join, the only problem is it's a 10 week course that runs on thursdays which clashes with my Boxing sparring :(
So i'm planning to head along for the first class and see what I think, it's just annoying because I really enjoy my boxing too!

Now my daily challenge of trying to meet 2 new people and get their names.
Unfortunately I failed the challenge today, I set myself an hour to go out and do it. But I feel like I left it too late in the day and went to the wrong environment.
Basically what happened was, before I went out I kept telling myself that this is not me and in the back of my head I knew that even though I was going out to try to talk to some people, I wasn't going to do it...

So I went to my local town, it was getting dark, the weather quite miserable and pretty much all of the shops were closing. So the only place I could go was the pub.
Now i've never been a big fan of pubs as they tend to always be filled by drunk old men. At least where I live this is the case.
I went in anyways and guess what, it was filled with old drunk men. At the back of the pub there is a dining area, but I could just see everyone with their friends and family enjoying each others company. I told myself, there is NO WAY I can just approach these people... So I went straight up to the toilet to escape the environment, I just couldn't do it today.
Once I exited the toilet I walked straight back out of the pub, back to my car and went home.

Once I got home I started looking at some videos on approach anxiety and what to say. So I think i've learned some new concepts and ideas that should hopefully help me in the future.

I think part of the problem today is that my goal isn't to just talk to random old men in a pub. To be honest when I see these guys in pubs the thoughts that run through my head are, "Man is this what you do with your life every weekend? That fucking sucks"
I understand that if I want to get good at socialising in general then I should be able to do it with anyone, but that kind of environment really uninspires me. To be honest I think the town I live in sucks and everyone is just going through the rat race, getting pissed on the weekends and living paycheck to paycheck. And I really do not want to live my life like that, so I really do not want to associate myself with these people. Which is making this challenge extremely hard for me, because 99% of the people around me are like that.

I just wanna move out to Australia or some shit like that where people are loving their life and not drinking beer to drink their problems away...

So yeah, I failed my challenge. Instead I just watched a film with my sister. And oh man of course there is a love story in there, and whenever I see this stuff it's like I do enjoy watching it but then I feel horrible because I haven't experienced love in my life :/

Gah what a negative post today.

I really need to find myself some environments where the people surrounding me are actually inspiring and seem cool to talk to. (Like YOU GUYS :D Unfortunately we don't speak face to face. But if we did it would be AWESOME)

Oh yeah, a final thing - I was listening to a podcast on porn addiction and all that shit. Now i'm not actually too bad anymore but like from the age of 14 I have always watched it and it's definitely reprogrammed my brain in a bad way. So i'm 100% committing to a 90 day detox. As well as a 90 day gaming detox. Now the real challenge is tommorow (Sunday).
For the past 3-4 weeks, Sunday is the only day where I relapse and start playing some Battlegrounds because I get bored and I have nothing to do on Sundays. And what tends to always happen from my bad habits in the past, once i've played video games guess what I load up next...

SO, I uninstalled my steam account which should certainly put a barrier between me just loading up a game because i'm bored.

Now I just need to find something to do on my Sundays...
I might go for a swim, definitely gonna watch the F1 highlights and try read some more of my book. OH and I need to go speak to some new people!

Hey I really appreciate you guys reading through my journal, I kind of just splurge it all onto the page before I head off to bed so I apologize if it's all a big mess xD

- Brad

 

Australia has a huge drinking problem 

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Australia has a huge drinking problem 

 But the lifestyle looks soooo goooood out there!
A bit of drinking and partying won't hurt :D

That's what they said to Spain, and then... :ph34r:

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Damn I I've not posted in a week.
I need to get back into the role of posting.

Quite a few significant things have happened over the week. A range of good to really bad.
So from what I can remember.

Day 28 - Thursday -
I went to boxing sparring instead of improv class to make sure I was fully prepared for my sparring seminars over the weekend.
Got beat pretty good, but I learnt alot since it was both of the most experienced guys there.

Day 29 - Can't remember too much about Friday, must have not been important lol

Day 30 - Saturday -

Today was the day of my first sparring seminar with the founder of NUDDA, Antonio Faedda.

But before we come to that, first I went to my strength and conditioning in the morning which is held at the same place as the seminar.
I tried to take it quite easy to keep myself rested, still ended up tiring myself out a little bit.
I then walked into town for about an hour whilst I killed time waiting for the seminar to start.
I was walking around becoming curious about everything and it was quite a fun experience, I seen alot of things you probably wouldn't see if you was minding your own business.
I checked out the gadget shop and a few clothes stores, I can see why people love shopping, there is so much awesome stuff to buy... I've never been much of a shopper however.

ANYWAYS, suddenly one of the fit girls from my old school walked past and then sat down on a bench inside the shopping centre ("Mall" for you Americans).
To be honest, I had never really spoken to her in school but we both knew of each other.
Believe it or not I was quite well known in school even though I was quiet.
I think it was due to me being into sports and being such a laid back, chilled character.
Probs my height and presence helped too aha.

I digress, so I was thinking... I SHOULD TOTALLY GO AND APPROACH THIS GIRL. All I need to do is go up and say "Hey, how's it going?"
But I got super nervous, for no fucking reason. I went into another gadget shop trying to build up the courage, I then walked quite close to her and pulled out my phone to text a friend, hoping she'd look up from hers and recognize me to make it easier to approach. Nope didn't happen... Next thing I know, I look up from my phone and she has disapeared... NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. FUCK DUDE, you're such a fucking pussy I thought to myself. Like nothing bad was ever going to happen, infact she'd probably go and tell her friends, Hey I bumped into Brad today. And I can already hear them saying, "Awh we love Brad". Cause I used to hear that shit all the time back in school. That ain't cool yo. Like I wanna be hearing, Brad's well fit, DAYUM.
Worst thing that could have happened is she ignore me, well that ain't gonna kill me is it.
Man I pussied out. I WILL DO IT NEXT TIME!

 

The seminar was fucking awesome, I learnt alot of strategies during it. And then I got to spar some of the guys from Cambridgeshire and also some people who come from our club. DUDE I WAS KILLING IT, I felt pretty damn good. Also these people were supposedly my "Belt Grading" but I just felt so much better than them.
That's another thing, I was awarded a Yellow belt. I'd like to think i'm pretty close already to getting an orange belt, but I don't wanna become a belt chaser. I just wanna learn to fight and have fun.

At the end of the seminar one of the guys from class asked if I wanted to go out for a drink, along with one of the girls from the class and her friend.. I was like, Hell yeah I'm down.
I didn't realize it was going to end up being a meal with a load of the guys from class.
So yeah I sat at the meal with my Coach, his brother and some other random guys.
I pretty damn quiet through-out the night often not having anything to contribute to the conversations they were having.

Even when they started speaking about Game of Thrones, which 2 months ago I literally watched all 7 seasons in the space of a month.
I struggled to think of things to say.
I got to know my coaches brother a little bit, but that was about as far as that went.

After the meal, the guy who originally invited me out asked me again if I wanted to go get some drinks with the girl and her friend. (They didn't go to the meal)
Despite me needing to get up the next morning for my next seminar, I thought why not.
We went to his flat so that he could get changed, and then we headed out to a bar in town. Meeting another girl from class on the way.

So it was Me, my friend from class and 3 other girls, 2 of which I knew from class.
Dayum, this is jumping into the social deep end pretty damn good aha.

Her friend was pretty fit not gonna lie. I introduced myself to her and then me and my friend were speaking to her for a little bit getting to know what she was studying at uni and all that. My friend already has a girlfriend, but she definitely took more interest in him. After all, he was older, he owns the gym, physically fit and obviously he has his life together and was chill through-out the night. I wouldn't expect anything less, I was nervous but I tried not to show it. But i'm sure my body language would have gave it away anyways.
The night was alright I guess. We all hugged each other as we left, except I didn't hug her friend we just had an awkward hand gesture to signal good bye, she hugged my friend though.
i guess that's me comparing myself to others again!

Day 31 - Sunday
- Muay Thai sparring, was awesome... Never done it before so it was good fun to be able to kick each other lol
I  can't remember much else on Sunday.

 

Day 32 - Monday - 
I went to Salsa, there was only one instructor today so it was more of an advanced class.
It was very difficult but I think I was getting the hang of it.
One of the girls there mentioned I looked tense and I needed to loosen up my shoulders...
Gah it's hard when i'm trying to remember all the dance moves AND i'm in the company of a good looking girl lol.

At the end of the night, they have a little social dance for people who stick around.
Now I was going to head home but just as I was putting my jumper on, the fittest girl at the Salsa class came up to me and asked to dance.
Man, I thought in my head. Fuck yeah i'll dance with you.
But then I was also thinking to myself, shittt I've already forgotten all the dance moves!

So, we begin to dance and i'm like, lets try the stuff we just learnt in class. She is SUPER experienced in Salsa/Bachata.
And guess what, my mind went blank and I was just forgetting all of the moves. Even though during class I was getting the hang of it pretty well!
She tried to remind me of the moves but grew bored...
Pretty soon we stopped dancing, I got some water and then proceeded to leave.
To be fair this was my fifth time dancing so I can't expect too much of myself. I shall continue to keep going back till I get good!

 

Day 33 - Tuesday - DAY OF DISASTER!

This was a REALLY bad day for me.

I CRASHED MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR!

Basically I was on my way to my boxing class - It was raining.
I've pulled up at the traffic lights next to another car. The two lanes merge into one after the traffic lights.
I tried to get ahead of this other car before the lane merges, I can't pull away quick however as my clutch is on its way out.

So the girl in the car next to me races infront, and then once she gets infront she proceeds to slow down and drive at a fucking snails pace. Gah it pissed me off so I drove up her arse for like 5 seconds.
Anyways, I pulled back and got to a safe distance. We were driving down a hill, I was minding my own business...
ALL OF A SUDDEN, she hits the brakes HARD for NO REASON. The traffic lights were all green, there were no turn offs, NOTHING.
THE ONLY thing which she was claiming the reason for her having to stop, was that there were 2 kids and a parent at the side of the road and she thought they were about to run into the road. Now i'm very aware of my surroundings when I drive, and I could CLEARLY see that the parent had hold of the kids. Nothing to worry about, but she HESITATED and STOPPED THE CAR SUDDENLY.
As this was so unexpected I didn't realise she was stopping intill it was too late, I hit the brakes hard and I tried to steer clear but I just slid straight into the back of her car.

After the collision, I was not angry at all. The pedestrians who 'supposedly' was the cause of her stopping told me to move my car from the middle of the road and then they fucked off.
I moved my car to the side of the road and then went and spoke to the girl, I asked if she was alright and we were both pretty damn chill about what happened.
She seemed to be about my age, apparently she only had the car for about 3 months. No WONDER she hesitated and slammed on the motherfucking brakes.

She rang her parents and they arrived pretty promptly, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna get fucked over by the parents so before they arrived I rang my Dad and asked for some advice. I made sure I took photos of the cars, got her details and didn't accept any fault. Now they say because I hit her from behind it is my fault, so it probably was my fault and thinking about it I could have left more distance due to the rain and the hill. I could have paid more attention, there are alot of things you think you 'COULD HAVE' done to prevent the situation. But it happened, now I am quick to accept if I am fault as I am a very truthful person. But I definitely do not feel at full blame for this accident.

But i'll have to be the one who pays for everything.
My compulsory pay-out is £550 - JUST WHAT I NEEDED
I'm trying to save up for Australia and various other things and this was the LAST thing I needed.
Also my car will probably get written-off, it is still drivable but the right light, bumper and side wing is smashed.
Since it is a really old car, there is NO WAY my insurance is gonna wanna pay to repair that!

God damn, so in the space of 2 months i've crashed my motorbike AND my car.
I think i'm gonna have to get my motorbike fixed and ride that for a while if my car gets taken from me.
Although what a shit time of year to ride a motorbike, it's wet, greasy and cold nearly everyday!
But I need some mode of transport because my commute to work is 45 minutes!

Day 34 - Today

I've felt really shitty today, i'm really rundown and have came down with a bad cold - Probably due to all the stress.
It's so annoying, the worst thing is my insurance premium is gonna go up a FUCK ton meaning it'll cost me like £2500+ to insure a shitty fucking car.
FUCK THAT SHIT,
You know what, this motivates me to start earning some money online, become a digital nomad. Get rid of the expensive cars and bikes and live minimalistic.

 Like my car was a shitty cheap car but the insurance costs so much. I know that i'd love to live a simple life where I just carry the basic necessitys to get by.
As much as I love fast cars and all that, I think if my lifestyle and work permits it - I could easily live from a backpack, with a laptop to make money.

SO yeah, i'm still waiting for insurance to get back to me and find out what the fuck is gonna happen.
In the meantime I need to focus on not worrying because that will get me NO WHERE.

And holy shit this has been a super long post.
I know it is super unstructured but when I start writing everything just flows straight from my head - Dayum why can't I do this in face to face interactions lol.

Times are tough at the moment but I can only look forward and not dwell on the negatives!

- Brad


 

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I don't know what's happening to me...

I feel like I'm completely falling off of the tracks.
I've been failing to wake up as early as I want in the mornings, I've been run down with a cold, I'm failing to keep up some of the habits that I developed over the last month.

My emotions have been all over the place, I've been really unproductive at work and have been getting distracted so easily... (I'm actually writing this now when I should be working -.-)
I feel like I just need to escape, I need to get to Australia ASAP.
I've not touched my online business at all this past week.

This has all seems to have happened after crashing my car last week. It depresses me that both my car and motorbike are now damaged and need repairing. It gets me down that my insurance is going to be heavily effected for the next 5 years... All of the hassle I need to go through to get everything sorted out.

It's costing a shit ton of money too which I was hoping to have saved up for my time in Australia...
I just got the clutch replaced on my car which set me back £300, I ordered a new light assembly and probably am going to need to get a new bonnet and wing.
I need to order a shit load of parts for my motorbike and then take it apart and fix it.

Part of me likes this as it gives me a little project of taking my bike apart and fixing it. But then one side of me really can not be bothered... I'd love to be able to take bikes/cars apart and know how to fix it all. But then at the same time I just don't want to put the time into learning it. There is so much I don't know and need to learn, and because I really want to escape this fucking rat race I feel I'm stuck in I don't want to waste time on things that won't help me get out of it.

Having said that, I'm finding it really hard to make the time and commit to actually trying to escape this so called Rat Race...

Part of me just wants to chill out and have fun, but then the other half is telling me I should always be working.
The net result = Procrastination - Where I'm not even relaxing because I feel like I should be working...

It fucking sucks, I hate it. When I do actually start taking action, I get distracted so damn easily.
I need to get laser focus, I know what my long term goals are... -

  • Become location independent
  • Move away from the UK and work and travel (Giving me great new experiences)
  • Get some close friends
  • Have someone to cuddle at night...
  • Lose my fucking virginity
  • Become more talkative in groups
  • Find things that I'm truly passionate about
  • Develop a good general knowledge so that I can actually have some input on the random topics people talk about.
  • Become skilled in something I actually truly like and can make good money from it.

I know what I want, why do I struggle to take action!


Just a quick overview of the things that happened over this past week.

On Sunday, @Cam Adair and I discussed that a very valuable skill to learn is copywriting - He made it a task for me to do 30 minutes of copywriting each day.
On that Sunday, I completed the 30 minutes and probably did an extra 20 minutes after that.
After that I decided to take myself to the park and shoot some hoops. I've been wanting to do this for quite a while and it was definitely fun.
I watched the Formula 1 with my cousin and I was telling him about the martial arts I've been doing - He's been trying to find new things to do so I said I'd take him along this week and he can try out the classes.

On Monday, I had to ride my damaged motorcycle to work because my car was getting it's clutch replaced. - The first time I've ridden it since coming off a couple of months ago, it was very cold that morning and I'm not gonna lie... I was super fucking scared.
By the time I got to work, it felt like my fingers were going to fall off because they were that cold and I was also mentally drained from the journey as I was paying attention to EVERY little detail on the way to work - Making sure to never slip on the road again...
So not the most pleasurable ride.

I rode my motorbike to Salsa later that day, at this point I was confident riding again plus it was warmer and dryer.
Now, one of the girls at my Salsa noticed me in my bike gear and oh man - It's like a switch flipped in her, we never really spoke that much at the previous classes, but she started asking questions about me riding and it turns out her brothers ride motorcross bikes too, and generally we spoke a lot more through-out the night.
She asked for my facebook and then messaged me the next day :o
And through-out Tuesday there was a few back and forth messages sent and the vibe seemed good, especially since she put a :) at the end of every sentence lol

On Tuesday I took my Cousin to my boxing class, he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit and then I took him to Muay Thai yesterday.

Also, on Wednesday (Yesterday). Me and that girl didn't message at all, I think it was left on a good note Tuesday night.
I think it's natural to not text everyday? Especially since we only just started talking...
But I don't want to obsess over this girl..
I often find that when I do start texting a girl, I'm waiting by my phone for every text to come through - every ding of my phone I get excited because it COULD be a text from the girl.
I don't want to be like this...
It's only been a day so I shouldn't stress out about this, which I'm not to be fair - But maybe I should text later today or tomorrow just to keep the ball in the air.

So there were some positives through-out the week... But there was also negatives:
All of this week I have woke up late, often meaning I didn't meditate in the morning.
I also haven't read any books this week.
I haven't done my affirmations.
Not worked on my online business
I've failed to do 30 minutes of copywriting every day.
I've not posted in this journal and done video blogs
I've not watched any documentaries.

During the week, waking up late is detrimental to my progress - Because that's when I try to do all of these things.
As every evening, when I get home from work at 6pm. I've always got a class at 7pm, which leaves me time for a quick snack/drink, some meditation and then the commute.
And I sometimes don't get the time for the meditation because i'll be speaking to my sister or mum for a bit when I get home from work.

By the time I get home from my classes at 9pm, all I feel like doing is having a shower, eating food and then sleeping.
Whilst also wasting some time either speaking to my mum and/or sister or watching a bit of whatever show they seem to have on TV when I get home.


I think I need to try to get to sleep slightly earlier and be STRICT on my sleep schedule.
I need to invest in a proper alarm clock as opposed to my phone.

(This morning my phone bugged out and the alarm didn't go off, my Mum came in my room at 7:10AM saying "Aren't you suppose to be leaving for work?"
Not knowing the time I fucking panicked big time, turns out I had 5 minutes to get dressed and leave.
That's probably why I've been in a shitty mood and procrastinated all day today...)

I've been reading quite a bit today whilst procrastinating at work on sleep and tips on better sleep, recommended hours of sleep.
I've currently only been getting 5-6 hours on the week days, probably why I struggle to wake up.

They say you need 8 hours and others say 7.

I think I will aim for 7 as I need the time in the morning to work towards my goals. And then obviously at night I get back quite late from my classes, so this seems like the best number to aim for.

I've been looking into what our dreams mean too as I believe understanding what you dream about helps you identify what problems and desires you are facing.
Which in turn helps you to take action - Now obviously I have a decent conscious thought on what I really want.
But maybe there are some unconscious things going on that I need to pay attention to as well!

Lucid dreaming is also something that I'd love to experience more.
I won't explain it here, but you can Google it and it seems pretty fucking awesome - I have experienced it too, but I want it to happen more frequently!

I'll wrap up todays post now.

But basically -
I need to get out of this negative slump and stay focused on the things that are taking me towards my goals.
And get more sleep! And actually wake up in the morning without snoozing...

 

- Brad.




 

 

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@Brad_Hurst Use 2 alarms. The first one, keep near your bed. Set this one to about 10 minutes before the actual time you need to get up. The other one, this can be your phone, you keep on the other side of your room, far away from your bed. Set your favorite song as the alarm, something that gets you pumped. Set this one to the actual time you need to get up.

The first alarm goes off, you get 10-15 minutes to snooze it. But when the second one goes off, now its time to get the fuck up, and the only way you're turning it off is if you get up.

 

Or sometimes I set my second alarm, the phone, to some nice gentle classical music (e.g. Chopin - Best Of) 20 mins before my get up time and just listen to it and let it wake me up gently.

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On 16/11/2017 at 9:39 PM, -n.g- said:

get them early morning showers xD

Yeah man. 

I've legit had a cold shower every morning for like the past 40 days.

Even when it's super cold outside, and I've continued doing it whilst I have a cold xD

@thehondasc00py

I do actually put my phone on the other side of the room. But I get out of bed and then hop straight back in lol. (The other side of my room is not that far)

Also do you not start to hate your favourite song if you hear it everyday? :P

I think I just need to make a habit of as soon as the alarm goes off, I'm out of bed and not getting back in it.

 

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Ayy. I've finally got a new video blog uploaded!

Ahhhh, the story I tell at the end is quite embarrassing!

Video Blog 5

Nonetheless I gotta get my old posting habits back.
Gonna try wake up at 5AM tommorow morning and get some shit done!

- Brad

Edited by Brad_Hurst
Forgot to actually add the video xD
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On 11/18/2017 at 2:48 PM, Brad_Hurst said:

 

@thehondasc00py

I do actually put my phone on the other side of the room. But I get out of bed and then hop straight back in lol. (The other side of my room is not that far)

Also do you not start to hate your favourite song if you hear it everyday? :P

I think I just need to make a habit of as soon as the alarm goes off, I'm out of bed and not getting back in it.

 

Yeah thats true it would get quite annoying. Plus if the song is catchy it will give me an earworm during meditation which is kind of irritating. So I usually use low intensity classical music. Also if hopping back in is your problem, maybe because the bed is so nice and warm. Make sure to throw on a jumper asap so you dont get cold when you get out.

 

Edit: haha you puked
Edit2: LMAO passed out too

Edited by thehondasc00py
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