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Giblet's Journal


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07 Sep 17

Days to go: 221

Days to the marathon: 10

Days until assignment due: 4

I have begun watching motivational/inspirational videos in order to keep myself on the right path. I downloaded some last night when I was struggling with distractions from my study and managed to squeeze out an extra hour before going to bed, so hopefully that trend continues. I have downloaded a couple of videos of how to stay calm with people so I will keep them handy in case I am struggling with my emotions rather than beating myself up and getting depressed.

Switched my training up yesterday and tried the treadmill. The physio indicated I should incorporate one run on the treadmill per week instead of so many out on the pavement to try and ease some stress on my ankle which is still bothering me. It was definitely softer on my feet, but boy was it boring. I could only do 30 minutes before I was so bored I couldn't continue. The great thing about it is you can set your pace exactly to the speed you want, so I set it to 5 minute kms which is faster than I ever run, and I did quite well. I felt great after the 30 minutes. I am going back to the road today though, I need to extend those times out and only doing 30 minutes on the treadmill isn't going to help. Only a few more runs before I start resting for the marathon anyway.

Started studying as soon as I woke up again instead of coming on here. I have managed to do 40 minutes before I needed a break and came to my journal. Assignment is coming together nicely, I am trying to work on making it flow and breaking it up into the sections I want to cover before expanding it all out and aiming for the word count. I think I left it a little late to complete it with only 4 days left, but at least I feel comfortable 'sitting with it' and staying focused rather than having to battle gaming.

Has anyone seen @MettermrckxD

Battleplan for Today

1. Work on my assignment as much as possible. Everything else comes second.

2. Get back to interval training on the road today. Aim for 10+km.

3. Cook some rice and beans. Apparently it is healthy for you with high protein without needing meat or being very expensive. I have the ingredients, now just need to make it.

Grateful corner

Free apps. I am trialling aTimeLogger today to keep a track of how much time I am wasting outside of study. It is similar to the Study Checker app that @Tom2 uses, so I will compare the reports on completion and see what is better.

Good that your being productive in your schoolwork giblets, it's a tough road. And i still think he's celebrating. xD

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10 Sep 17

Days to go: 218

Days to the marathon: 7

Days until assignment due: 1 (submitted already!)

Wow, gone 3 days and my journal is pushed down half way on the second page. That's great! Good work team, I am glad to see so many people being active with their personal development and their path. It had gone a bit quiet last week! Maybe we are still feeling the departure of @Mettermrck. As I was thinking about what other voids the departure of some people have left, I realised we haven't heard from @Tom2 for a while. I hope you're going ok mate.

So what have I been up to? Well, pretty much studying non-stop. I have poured some serious hours into my studies and as a result I submitted it a day early. I probably could of sat on it for another day and padded it out a bit more (I was about 300 words short) but I really wanted a day free of obligations that I could spend with my family, which I managed to achieve, and it was great. The little fella was still a bit grizzly from being unwell but it didn't matter, it felt good just spending time with them without having something pressing on the back of my mind. In the afternoon I went and did some gardening, mowed the lawn, trimmed all the bushes next to our verandah and then sawed some branches that were starting to reach over the road. Feeling quite accomplished B|

I have "shut it down" with my running now until the marathon. I ran two days in a row for an hour each for 8km, and I pulled up with a really sore ankle. I can't risk going into the marathon with injuries so I am going to maximise the rest time. I figure I have done a lot of training until now anyway, and if I am not ready by now then I am not going to be ready anyway! I have still got a wet cough as well so trying a variety of remedies to get rid of that. Planning to sleep a lot this week, drink lots of water and healthy food. I am excited and nervous at the same time about the race. I think the last 10-15km is where the real test will come.

I am quite tired so not much depth here in my post, sorry, but at least there is no major mind pretzel/knots that I need to reflect upon anyway.

Battleplan for Tomorrow

1. Finish preparation for instructing a new course next week.

2. Start the process of sorting out the code for my son's noise maker. He's getting far too addicted to the phone I use to play music for him now so I need to put that away.

3. Build a worksheet from the coaching session with Cam.

Grateful corner

The online debate. Not sure if I have already used this one, but I really enjoyed it. I am planning to send an email in the morning to the lecturer thanking her for the format. It might come across as a little cheesy noting I have just submitted my assignment but I think it needs to be said anyway.

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12 Sep 17

Days to go: 216

Days to the marathon: 5

So, bit of a quiet couple of days which is why when I sat down yesterday to make an entry I just could not think of anything. It probably doesn't help I am not running now either so I don't get that refocus/second wind in the afternoon which makes things a bit of a struggle. I definitely feel my legs getting better though, so hopefully all these nagging injuries and soreness I have been carrying for a few weeks will subside before Sunday.

The biggest thing that has happened to me really that I am struggling how to deal with is that I think I have been banned from GitHub. Or my IP has. I was running some updates on one of my Raspberry Pi builds this morning and half way through it lost connection and now none of my devices can go to github.com when they're on my home network. As soon as I shift to another network or asked my colleagues to go to the site, no problems at all. I can't think of anything that might cause them to block me unless one of my devices has been compromised and was showing suspicious activity. Anyway it is probably the motivation I need to fix my main computer's problems that I have been putting off while I was focusing on my studies. Which that will have second order effects of encouraging me to go back to video blogging.

Just me and my son the next few days so that will be a lot of fun and challenging at the same time. It is a good reality check that I have responsibilities now and I am not the priority, as well as showing my wife that yes I can still look after him. It is also challenging though as it means my productivity goes down a lot as I can't focus or enter the flow as easily due to the amount of distractions, which results in me getting agitated and annoyed.

Still zero interest in gaming right now. Even "allowed" myself to join in some multiplayer with a friend online if I "wanted to", but when I sat down at the desk I just couldn't be bothered, there was too many other things I wanted to do, and that is the bottom line. Made up some lame excuse why I couldn't play and went back to spending time with my son. No matter how addicted you are to gaming; there is always something you should be doing. Direct quote from @WintergreenGrin. The power of the detox right there. I think I can officially lift the "abstinance" stance from my mind of games, as they no longer have the grip on me like they used to, which is great. I will however need to deal with the fact I keep blowing this particular friend off when he invites me to play games, I'll just have to be straight up honest with him and say I am not interested anymore.

Battleplan for tomorrow

1. Look after my son and don't influence his happiness with my agitation (if any)

2. Fix up my computer problems, which may involve a reshuffling around of my machines. Just get it working, the polishing can come later, over time.

3. Stay emotion free! I have the vibe tomorrow is going to be emotionally charged with a few significant changes at work that people won't be happy with. Need to be the rock that keeps them all calm.

Grateful corner

I don't believe I will say this, but I am grateful for retail staff today. While I was in the post office (posting some more gaming equipment I had sold and no longer need), there were quite a few difficult customers around me getting emotional about issues that were quite clearly their own to solve. By the time I got to the front of the queue I expected the attendants to be annoyed and short tempered, but they were great. Some of those people, as crap as the job may be, have got the patience of a saint. They don't get the credit they deserve. People seem to have forgotten the ability to be kind. It's free people, don't be frugal with manners.

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15 Sep 17

Days to go: 213

Days to the Marathon: 2

Lets start off with some good news, it looks like I have been unbanned from GitHub. I still don't really have an explanation for it but at least I can go back to doing my updates and reading the user documentation for some addons. I can only assume I received a 24 hour ban for something that I did. I'd like to work out what it was so I can avoid it in the future but I have honestly no idea.

Other news - I am still struggling with the flu, which means I will be taking it with me into the marathon. I am not too worried about that though as I know my determination will overcome that adversity, but what I am a bit worried about is carrying a sore ankle. I have had physio and asked whether I keep running on it is going to cause any damage to it or not, and the result is no it is nothing serious, it is just a symptom of running too much and not allowing it to rest. Makes sense since I have been running up to six times a week, and the physio seemed quite surprised/impressed with that. I'll see how I go. I have been given a ticket to go see the show "How to not give a f*ck" by Mark Manson the night before, so hopefully that will take my mind off it and not let me feel sorry for myself and/or make excuses.

Am struggling to keep up with everything I want/need to do lately. Or at least, it feels like I am struggling. I think I am realistically going ok but I probably just need a break or reset to bring myself back down to a baseline of my mindset/mental state and what I am trying to achieve.  I have talked to my wife about this, we are looking at options to go away for a few days for a reset/mind clear and relax for a little while. I have been invited to be a part of a work team for the Melbourne marathon at the end of next month, so that might be an opportunity to go relax in a different state for a while, even if it won't get us out of the city.

Needed to find some documents last night for my real estate agent and spent almost two hours searching through my folders on my computer. I reminded myself this is yet another reason that I can't allow myself to go back to gaming just for a little while - there are still so many areas of my life that are neglected from when I spent every spare second gaming. How long was I going to let my personal life go into disarray while I just sat there in a stasis? It is quite embarassing really, especially when I talked to a friend about he and he said "mate you are one of the most organised people I know". I obviously have been keeping everyone fooled. I have added sorting documents out to my habit tracker, so I will now do a little bit every day at a minimum. More context for @WintergreenGrin's statement he made so long ago.

Finally emailed my lecturer to thank her for the online debate format, I hope it doesn't come across as trying to get better marks. That element of it must have been weighing on my mind though, as when I went to sleep I dreamt that I had failed the subject and couldn't graduate next year. Hopefully that is not a sign of things to come!

Battleplan for today

1. Don't get emotional. I sense another day of emotion coming in my direction

2. Collect everything I need for the marathon - my racing bib, some gels, and hopefully a new hat for this fair skinned redhead.

3. Drink as much water as possible. I have not drunk any alcohol this week to help, but I probably should cut down my tea consumption today and drink more water to help for Sunday.

Grateful corner

My wife cooking a lot of different meals for this week so I wouldn't have to stress about it while she was away. They were all really healthy ones too to help me stay focused for this weekend, a lot of seafood, pasta/rice, and then I just heated up some frozen vegetables to go along with it. My son loves his vegetables so it was very easy to manage and get him to eat as well. This reminds me of when I used to live by myself after I had shoulder surgery almost ten years ago - I used to spend half of my Sunday just cooking and cleaning all day so then during the week I didn't have to worry about anything after work, I could just relax. Unfortunately I used all that extra time for gaming, but the concept was there. I should try and do that more now.

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18 Sep 17

Days to go: 210

Days to the Marathon: Finished!

Well I am wrecked, that's really all I can say. Ran the marathon yesterday. It was a pretty intense day, woke up at about 5am as my friend that I was staying with was doing the half marathon started at 6. I couldn't sleep anyway from a mixture of being tired and excited. Then headed on down to the marathon. Took me 5 hours and 3 minutes, I was aiming for 4 hours 30 minutes in the end, because that would of been the splits I was getting while I was training, but it was not to be. I managed about 5:45min/km splits for the first 25km and then thats when all the problems started! From then on I averaged around 8:30min/km splits. I started having knee troubles which when I was zoning out meant I was changing my running style to accomodate, which was causing other problems, like my hamstrings or my ankles, so I had  to keep forcing myself to pay attention to my running style. The 25-35km were the absolute worst, and I really started to doubt my ability to finish. My brain started telling myself it's ok, you have come this far, nobody would mind if you dropped out. Probably wasn't helped by seeing so many other people drop out in front of me or seeking medical attention. But I refused to quit. I responded to myself by saying "you're right, you have come this far, so another 10km won't hurt". My personal struggles must have been interesting to see as a lot of people that were watching started cheering me on and a few other runners encouraged me to keep going.

Tried to have an ice bath afterwards.... nope! That is intense. I have the utmost respect for athletes that incorporate that into their daily routine. So today I will be walking around like John Wayne, if at all. I should of taken the day off to rest... oh well.

Very little has been happening outside of that, a few friends have started to talk to me about playing Eve online. I am thankful that I have sold everything now and can't do it. I think playing with them in a social environment over their house or something would work because I would be going into it with the right intent, but the problem is the amount of preparation you have to put into those MMOs. House and hours of prep just to be able to do a 15 minute mission or something. I'll focus on staying productive for now.

I need to reflect on my hobbies at the moment and see if they are working. A friend has been using his spare time on hobbies that are going to make him money in the long run (possibly), where I can't say mine will. 

Battleplan for today

1. Try to stay mobile so my knees don't lock up!

2. Post contributions to the online debate.

3. Think about some new hobbies.

Grateful corner

My friend that I ran with yesterday. Let me stay at his place which was less than 100m from the starting line, then afterwards kept my son occupied for an hour by playing ping pong with him, or at least the best a toddler can play ping pong. Patience of a saint. Amazing guy. Hope everything with his family can get sorted out, I wish him all the best.


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20 Sep 17

Days to go: 208

That was definitely me @Hitaru! Only less elegant than the silverfox Rowan Atkinson xD

I think I am finally starting to recover from the run! I was so drained that the last few days I really struggled to think properly, which only really became apparent when trying to explain or talk to people at work and I was struggling to be coherent. I loaded up on calories as much as I could the last two days and took naps to try and speed up the recovery process and I think it has worked, I feel back to being normal today. My previous post was a bit of a shambles as well.

Quite a lot of people have asked me whether that has "put the fire out" for running now I have achieved the marathon or whether I am geared for another one. I have been spending some time reflecting on this and I don't think I had made my mind up until now; which might have been an answer in itself. After much thought and talking to people about it who were congratulating me on getting through and telling them what time I achieved, I think I need to run again. In the end while I said that I just wanted to finish and avoid the "slow bus" (I have since found out there is no slow bus, but "slow bands", you get given a wristband which results in you being redirected to a shorter/different track), I did have a time in mind that I would like to finish it: 4 hrs 30 minutes. This was based on the times I was getting while training and what I thought I could comfortably run. Well turns out I did keep a 4 hr 15 minute pace for the first 25km before my legs really started to struggle, and I think my legs really struggled because I was over-regulating my speed so I didn't wear myself out. Once I reached the 25km mark it became a real battle of willpower and I ended up doing it in 5 hrs 3 minutes. I don't like telling people that it took me 5 hours, and this is why I don't think it is inspiring at all @Cam! So, as a result, I think it's time to lace up again and get back out there. What is adding to this thought is that by 3 days after the race, I feel fully recovered. The people I was talking to for advice prior to the run said that if I have recovered this quickly, then I still had more in the tank during the run and didn't go fast enough. I think I need a different approach next time, and since I did the longer runs during training via intervals, then maybe I need to try doing intervals for the next one, that is run at a 4:30 or 5:00 pace for 5minutes, then walk for 1-2 minutes, then rinse and repeat ~45 times. Imagine telling people that I got out there to inspire myself, now thats a good story that I would feel confident telling people.

A combination of being worn out and having a messed up morning routine is resulting in me being not as productive as I wanted to be, around the 50-75% mark, and resulting in some frustration and not achieving all my daily targets/battleplan. One of the contributing factors that I can control (focusing on those first) is my morning routine. Over the last week I have been getting up an hour before everyone else (about 5am), and working on my to do list starting on the recurring tasks that are smallest and easiest to do. This has been incorrect. I have been working on the smallest ones first because I have taken my foot off the gas somewhat after submitting my last big assignment for studies so used that as an excuse to take it easy, but now it is impacting the other areas of my life. So, starting today, back to reprioritising my tasks, focusing on what needs to get done first or what is important to focus upon while my mind is fresh in order to set myself up for success during the day. First things first, this journal, going back to daily entries rather than my one every two days, then reading online debates for my studies, and updating my budget. I might have a read of the Miracle Morning as well to see if there are any other tips in there to help shape my morning routine.

Turns out my hobbies aren't so much of a waste after all! When I have shown people my RPi builds they have all asked for me to build similar ones for them and they would pay me to do it. I might be able to start making a few dollars on the side which is what I was going to switch my hobbies to.

Battleplan for today

1. Have a 3-star productive day. It's been over a week since I felt I could award myself 3-stars. It all starts here with today's journal entry, and will push myself all day.

2. Identify a new marathon to be able to redeem my time (and/or pride).

3. Get back out on the cross trainer to see how the ole legs are feeling to start training again. This might be a mental battle more than anything.

Grateful corner

It's a bit challenging to think of something I am grateful for today as I haven't been in the right headspace. I need to get better at noticing this, even if it is something small. Maybe I should write them down during the day. Any tips?

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I was committed to going back to daily posts starting today but it hasn't worked out! Been on the road since 4am for work so I'll need to set aside time for a post this afternoon. Intention for today is to note down things I'm grateful about as I go along. The fantastic weather today in Sydney is a good start!

Edit: since I'm on my mobile for the first time ever I'll try uploading a photo of the weather I'm taking about, and I'm outside to enjoy it!



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I was committed to going back to daily posts starting today but it hasn't worked out! Been on the road since 4am for work so I'll need to set aside time for a post this afternoon. Intention for today is to note down things I'm grateful about as I go along. The fantastic weather today in Sydney is a good start!

Edit: since I'm on my mobile for the first time ever I'll try uploading a photo of the weather I'm taking about, and I'm outside to enjoy it!

I was just thinking how perfect the Sydney weather was myself! How great that there are at least two of us here representing Sydney.

Reading your last few posts inspires me to run a marathon myself! I've tried an obstacle course race in the past and loved it. Even if you didn't hit your target time goal this time, think of it as a stepping stone. After a few more marathons you'll probably be aiming for a goal much much faster. I'm confident you'll get there.

Also, I'm a big fan of your countdown timers for various events. Can I ask what the red 208 days to go is for? I'm curious and don't really want to sift through 16 pages of posts to find the answer. 

Meanwhile, I'm geeking out over your morning routine. I've always felt better from waking up early and getting a good start to the day, even when that start was a few hours of gaming. I like that you called yourself out on prioritising small tasks and that you're planning to change that. 

Some tips I use for being more grateful that might help:

  1. Start by saying "I am grateful for..." out loud. I am grateful for... I am grateful for... Let it sit in the air for a moment, then repeat as many times as necessary until something follows. Don't let the idea of it being silly stop the words coming out. If you're sitting in a chair while doing the exercise, you might be grateful that you have a bum to cushion your seat, or a chair with 4 legs (wouldn't it suck to have a chair with only 3, or 2?) If you're walking, you might be grateful for the feet that carry you forward, or for the sensation of the wind against your skin.
  2. Have a few categories of things you can be grateful for, and decide that you will be grateful for a different one each time. My three categories are:
    • People - Think of a relationship that you're grateful for. 
    • Objects - Something that is around you at the time, like a shoe or a pen.
    • Opportunities - What did you get to do today that you enjoyed? What's coming up later today? Tomorrow? Next week?
  3. Make something up. Seriously if all else fails, just name what you see in front of you. "I'm grateful for my computer. I'm grateful for the window. I'm grateful for this pizza." The idea is to get some bad ideas out in the open to allow the good ones some space to breathe. Who knows, you may even surprise yourself and realise you actually are grateful for such an insignificant thing.
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23 Sep 17

Days to go: 205

Days to Marathon 2: 20

There is about to be a third @SlackRamen, with @Zeeko about to move here as well! Was the obstacle course like the American Ninja Warrior show or more like the US College races? Both look like a lot of fun but require a lot of practice. I remember doing obstacle courses when I was a scout way back in my school days and it was a blast. Because I was the smallest they used to throw me over the obstacles and walls. 

The red counter is how many days until I have gone a year game free, so I am up to day 160 today of not playing games. I like goals and targets and seem to work better with them so I figured why not make a new target after the 90 day detox was up, and there were several people talking about a year game free at the time, so I chose that.

My morning routine still needs some work. The part that is annoying me right now is I know a few improvements I could make but I don't implement them, like drinking a glass of water as soon as you wake up and not touching your phone immediately in order to get into the creating content mindset rather than consuming. I just can't motivate myself to do either task, though I have really overhauled how I used my phone, and generally now I just check my notifications before getting on with the day. I should be at a point where I get on with my day, do my morning routine, then check my notifications. The drinking water would really help though as I tend to be dehydrated most of the time (as the majority of humans are these days) and with the heat we are experiencing I sweat a lot more. I'll try again tomorrow to start forcing myself to do that.

Well I chose a bad time to try and go back to daily posts with the work trip, but at least now I am back home with the right intention and ready to get this sorted. Some good news too, got my results back for my last assignment and I achieved a distinction - that's the highest mark I have received in years! So I am super happy with that. More evidence of how much I was wasting myself prior to the detox. There are some consistencies in what the lecturer has pointed out I did wrong though with the first assignment, so I need to contact her for some tips or direction on how to sort that out.

I have identified the marathon re-attempt, there is one in the Melbourne Running Festival next month on the 13 October. So I have registered, flights booked, here I come! I think it is going to be a lot of fun, and will get the family away on a mini-holiday so will kill two birds with one stone. A lot of my wife's friends live in Melbourne so they can go hang out and do whatever they do while I run around scenic Melbourne and finish at the MCG (if I avoid the time cut offs). I have also found out it is not called a "slow bus", it is a "slow band". If you are not running fast enough when you pass through several check points then you're given an armband which basically means you can't finish the whole race as you will take too long. The aim is not to get one of those! This marathon is a bit quicker, the slow bands are given to 7:30 min/km instead of the Sydney 8min/km, but that's ok. 

I feel like I have been wasting a bit of time this week by watching a lot of Youtube on various subjects, so I need to wind that back a bit. I haven't been feeling that great so it has been an easy escape while resting, either from the flu or still recovering from the run, I don't know which. That shouldn't be a problem this weekend though, it is just me and my boy and some fantastic weather - so look out playgrounds and maybe the zoo, we're going to have an awesome weekend! And no frustration from wanting to just stay home and play games!

Battleplan for today:

1. Have a lot of fun with my son - maybe the park, a playground, who knows. Whatever we feel like. Apparently right now that includes drawing on our face with a pen.

2. Drink lots of water - this might be a source of my problems as well.

3. Do some cleaning of the house to catch up on some chores.

Will need to come back to my grateful points later, the keyboard is being hijacked by a small human.

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25 Sep 17

Days to go: 203

Days to Marathon 2: 18

So I totally missed yesterday's post, and I have no excuse, my morning routine is/was still not right and compacted by the fact it was the weekend so my foot was off the gas a little. I ended up getting out of bed and compressing a bunch of files on my computer as I am really struggling for space. As I am using an RPi 3 as my desktop, that means I essentially couldn't do anything else for an hour or so, and fell back to watching videos on my phone while I waited. Lesson learnt, because I didn't realise until about lunch time that I hadn't posted yet and by then it was too late. Today it's the first thing I am doing after making some tea - that will be the new routine. No checking the phone yet either which is good, I have now put it into alarms only mode and only take it out when I am expecting a call or something. Lets see how long that lasts. The reason I really need to take control of how much I look at my phone is I listened to a great TED talk yesterday on boredom by Manoush Zomoroni. For some reason I can't insert links so it is here -

Even just the statistics alone is scary and puts phone usage into perspective. I have been having a love-hate relationship with phones over the last few months ever since entering the detox, where I became more aware of everyone using their phones constantly and not just enjoying the moment. I like to think I have a head start by already deleting all social media off of my phone, but I still respond to notifications too freely. I am going to keep my phone in this "do not disturb" mode all day again and see how we go - I have tried similar things during my detox, I remember talking to Bob about it. If I could find an alternative to listen to podcasts on I think I would go so far as downgrade to a feature phone similar to what CG EYE did.

Not a lot else happened yesterday, spent time with the family and had a few beers to celebrate the last week before picking up more family to stay for the week. Last week was a great one, got a distinction for my online debate essay, recovered from the marathon without being too badly injured and I think I am getting on top of my finances for the moment. I did do a lot of reflecting as well which was good to do, I do not think I do enough of it. I probably spend too much time listening to podcasts during my quiet time rather than just sitting with the moment and reflecting on how I am going. Definitely addicted to podcasts - there is too much to listen to out there and to help me learn, as well as audiobooks, that I don't like being without one for even a few moments. I cannot remember the last time I actually listened to music - I don't have any installed on my phone anymore.

So what is the plan for this week? With family staying over it is going to be challenging, but I do need to get back ontop of my productivity. I have taken my foot off the pedal, and now rather than sorting it out I seem content with just talking about it. That will stop as of today, and I will take charge of this beast. What is going to force my hand to make this happen is that I am going to be teaching for the next 8 weeks as well as attempting to manage work admin and study and all the rest. No time for dillydallying! Unfortunately with having family staying this week I was hoping to finally finish off my noise maker for my son, including cutting and grinding the mint tin it will be stored in, but that will not be happening. It will need to be a next weekend job, and I feel bad that I keep putting this off rather than getting it finished. The soldering is done, that is the hard part, now just need the software to back it up and the casing for it. Again, just allowing myself to be distracted from my goals and not coming back to them, need to take charge.

Battleplan for today

1. Contact my lecturer to talk about the consistencies between the feedback for my two assignments. I need to make some improvements to my writing style not just for the third and final assignment, but for the next semester and beyond as well.

2. Enjoy teaching for at least today, and for the next two months. Last time round I really did not enjoy it, it was during the detox, and I was battling anxiety really bad. I feel a lot more relaxed about it all this time around and more in control in my emotions so I am optimistic. What do I have to lose anyway?

3. Get back into my studies, or a routine that will aid me in doing my studies, which will generally revolve around getting my morning routine under control again. Do some research on ideal morning routines, look into the Miracle Morning.

Grateful corner

My house. I was spending some time yesterday on the floor in our living room with my son just playing around, and then again last night talking with my family. I am truly thankful for the opportunity of the house we are in, it is a once in a million once in a lifetime house and I was in the right place at the right time for it. No wonder it has a history of people not wanting to move out from it! I have another year here before we move into my next job so I need to enjoy it as much as I can, I doubt we will have such a spacious house like this again.

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26 Sep 17

Days to go: 202

Days to Marathon 2: 17

Yesterday sucked hard. My to do list at work now goes across two pages, and I simply can't keep up. Too many people are competing for my time when all I want (or need) to do is plow through some of these jobs so I don't get angrygrams. The trick of keeping my phone in DnD mode really worked, so much so that I totally forgot I still had it on when I got home from work and missed some messages. I like the power it gives you back of you get your messages or notifications when you want to, not when the phone wants you to. I intend continuing it today. I think I need to couple this with shutting the door to my office today so I can at least make some headway on these tasks. I was going to do some work last night when I got home but I ended up spending time with my family and in laws, and then googling USB C hubs and chargers for my new laptop. I think I am actually going to have to go into an Apple store - their USB C charger is the best on the market apparently, especially when the standard isn't quite clear and people are frying boards.

Pretty much didn't achieve anything yesterday which upsets me as well. Gave myself zero stars for productivity. I was going to take the day off and enjoy the fantastic weather we are experiencing in Sydney, but I know I won't be able to relax with the amount of work I have to go. Does anyone have any tips or methods of how they relax when they can't stop thinking about work?

Got back out on the road and did my first run since the marathon. Boy oh boy did it hurt - my right knee is still recovering. It was uncomfortable throughout the whole run, I only did 5km, but the rest of the afternoon I could barely move/walk. I had to lean on the wall or rail to get up and down stairs. It's back to feeling ok today, so I will go for another jog and see how I go - I am not pushing myself at all at the moment, I just want to rebuild the habit of going every day. Running feels different now, I think it is because I know I can push my body to 42km, that when I get a little worn out from 1km or so, I don't hesitate to keep going. This might accelerate my training from here on in, once I get my knee sorted of course. I have done away with interval training now as well, I just love pushing myself to run further and further without stopping. It's a massive sense of achievement, and I don't think I had it either before the marathon or when I was doing interval training.

Purchased my ticket to Permission to Think Freely with Adam Roa and Cam. It's a long way away but gives me something to look forward to. Might include that as a counter from tomorrow. There is another development workshop coming up that I saw the advertising for yesterday that I thought I might be interested in. I can't remember the name right now though.

Battleplan for today

1. Keep my office door closed. Plow through as much work as I can. I need to get back on top of this because instructing takes up so much of my time and I cannot progress any of my tasks.

2. Order this USB C hub/charger so I can sweep it out of my mind as another distraction.

3. Get back out there jogging again, try to get 2 days in a row. 5km is fine, aim for the longer runs on the weekend. Focus on the routine.

Grateful corner

1. This journal, it allows me to clear my mind before the day starts to get into the flow. Without it I think I was bottling up way too much.

2. Camomile tea. Keeps me nice calm and relaxed. I need to drink more of this during the day to help control my emotions and focus upon what truly matters, like Mark Manson said in his talk a few weeks ago.

3. The weather. I seriously cannot talk up how great this weather is in Sydney right now. Wayland knows what I am talking about. Even though most of the day I can only see it through a window, it is still enjoyable. I can't wait to take advantage of it on the weekend again.

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27 Sep 17

Days to go: 201

Days to Marathon 2: 16

I am really not feeling the motivation today. Usually I kick my mornings off by reading a few journals, commenting and writing my own, but everything feels like an effort this morning. I assume the main cause of this is I am really not enjoying being at work right now, because my personal life is going swell and I am enjoying spending time with the in laws. My son has totally got walking down pat now and is walking all over the place, it wont be long before he is running and I have to chase him everywhere! Looking forward to that a little bit but he is fun right now too. The bottom line is work just blows. But, we do what we don't want to so we can do the things we do want to, so I will keep powering on.

Didn't go for a run yesterday as my knee was really sore. I think I had adjusted my running style on Monday because I had a shin splint, which caused the knee problem. Seems to always be the case, I have a small niggling issue which I subconsciously try to compensate for, which causes a bigger issue. That same theory could be applied to the rest of life, we tend to try and cover up our small issues which results in bigger problems. For me it was anxiety, I tried to cover it up with gaming, which resulted not just in the anxiety getting worse, but neglecting so many other areas of my life as well, such as studying and personal development. I hope to get back out there running today but the knee isn't at 100%, so I might have to do the taboo and rest it two days in a row.

Ultra trail registrations open today and I still haven't decided if I should be registering or not. I wanted to wait to see how my body went after the marathon to see if I felt confident training it up for the ultra trail, and I think I have gone ok, but I also haven't looked at any training plans. I talked to some family about it and they think it would be serious hard work, with the mental challenge being the biggest. I am always up for a mental challenge so that spurred me on a little - but I can't help thinking about the half marathon I did last year with no training when I almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of it because I was in that much pain and was not prepared for it. I think as long as I get out there training every day and try to do some hikes (and running hikes) every weekend or so that I should be ok. It will be a big impost on my family so I need to talk to them a bit more this morning. This might be my only chance to do it in my life so I need to grab it with both hands.

Ok I think I have jump started my brain and I can get on with my morning routine. I can't say I am thankful for the weather today - it looks a little gloomy!

Battleplan for today

1. Talk with my family about the ultra trail, and register. Find a training plan that I can try to follow for the next six months.

2. Reinvigorate work somehow so it is not impacting me as much. Maybe part of this is to control my emotions at work a little better? Not just the active emotions but subconsciously as well.

3. Come up with a plan for the weekend so I don't feel like I haven't achieved anything with the extra day off.

Grateful corner

1. Close friends, who are going to go try and pick me up a vacuum cleaner on sale this morning before it sells out! Happy wife happy life, team!

2. My determination. The more I talk to people or read about some challenges at work or with running, I realise I get through a lot of stuff in life without even thinking about it because of the brute force that comes with my high determination. It might be something else but it feels like determination.

3. My Raspberry Pi. I know I get angry at you little buddy, but I had a realisation last night that I think the frustrations come down to not setting up the cooling on your CPU quite right, so it is my own fault. I need to remind myself of how much money you have saved me on power bills so far alone! I'll sort out the cooling issue for you, even when my new laptop arrives and takes centre stage.

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28 Sep 17

Days to go: 200

Days to Marathon 2: 15

Days to Ultra-Trail: 232

Today's post brought to you by AllTheseVegetables by Jacksonic courtesy of @thehondasc00py. ALL THESE VEGETABLES, LIKE WHAT! ALL THESE VEGETABLES, LIKE WHAT!

So I am registered for the ultra-trail! Can't back out now. The crazy thing is I still haven't found a training plan to get ready for it and see if it is feasible. I also have only ran once since the marathon and once on the cross trainer, so I really need to get my ass into gear. But, at the end of the day I don't think I am going to have another opportunity like this where I am hyper focused on fitness and running, or the flexibility with work and my home location that I could capitalise in order to do such a long distance.

Did not run again yesterday, a combination of the knee was still feeling not right and too much going on at work so I couldn't get away. Things are lining up for me to hit the road again today though - I have no hard commitments that I need to attend today so I won't feel pressured into only eating lunch and heading back to work straight away, and the knee is feeling really good. I do need to sort out this not enough water issue though, I am drinking a lot more water than I usually do, around about 1.5 litres, and I still feel dehydrated in the mornings, which I think is a contributing factor to me feeling so meh with trying to get on with my morning routine every day. Not really sure how I could increase my water intake any further, I'd be drinking water almost constantly then.

USB C Hub ordered and new bag for laptop ordered. Only need a new plug/wall wart for it as it is comes with an American plug, and I have finally mindswept that away from a) being on my mind and b) always keeping tabs open looking at this stuff.

Spent some time thinking about gaming last night and boy oh boy was the dopamine rush strong. It felt like I had just taken a drug or something. I did feel guilty immediately though, so a lot of emotions I had to deal with at once and that I need to reflect on. I don't forbid myself from thinking about games and I have taken the stance now if I want to play games I will after the detox to remove that "block", but I am just not interested in the time that it wastes now. So last night was a bit weird why the thoughts came back. Usually it is nostalgia but this was just a random thought that jumped into my head. Maybe it was because I had a couple of beers so my mind was relaxed and I was looking for other pleasurable things to do. Anyway I sat with the feeling for a moment, thought about how much enjoyment I did get from those activities, and then thought about what I was missing out on while I was doing them. Personal development, time management, family time, chores, all productive things that I tried to ignore. Then I got back on with my day.

So, a lot of reflecting on yesterday, how will this shape my day today? I have another day where I really need to be productive, but the door closed on my office and the phone on DND mode really helps. I really want to take tomorrow off to spend with my family so that is extra motivation to try and red line as much as I can today. I really hope I can get through today without betting emotionally wound up or effected, usually now it is something like allowing my frustration or annoyance with people or tasks to be seen, even though they generally aren't a problem. It comes after a long day or a lot of distractions or I have done a lot of work. I should be using that as a queue for a break, go outside, go for a walk, enjoy some camomile tea, then get back to what I was doing or respond to the questions. If I can achieve that today, I will feel like it is a success.

Battleplan for today

1. Clear through the backlog of work from the last two days, stay on top of any critical tasks for today, so I can take tomorrow off work. Break down the big tasks into as small steps as possible to feel progress, and delegate as much as I can to my team.

2. Get back out there running. Aim for 10km, but this time if something doesn't feel right, don't push it. Force myself  to stop instead of getting so focused on the distance.

3. Try to hit 2 litres of water today. Go back to trying slices of lemon in my water bottle and cut down on the amount of green tea I drink during the day.

Grateful corner

1. Work colleagues that are helping with my workload while I am instructing. Juggling two jobs is only possible with their help.

2. The long weekend coming up and the opportunities it brings to not only relax and try to reset after having a harrowing few weeks, but the possibility I could finish some RPi projects and get some study done.

3. Aldi! Such good prices.

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29 Sep 17

Days to go: 199

Days to Marathon 2: 14

Days to Ultra-Trail: 231

I think there is seriously something wrong with me right now. This whole week all I can think about doing is sleeping. My productivity is down and I am so sluggish to get going in the mornings. I originally thought it was because I was not drinking enough water, but I have been drinking so much water now I don't think that is the problem. It comes down to two sources - either my diet is wrong again, or I am feeling quite depressed and am in a rut. I really hope its the former, as that is a simple fix. I have noticed lately I feel better when I just eat vegetables and salads, not only do I feel "lighter" afterwards, but I do feel like I have extra energy than when I eat a lot of meat. I have tried being a vegetarian in the past, and I felt amazing while I was doing it, and lost some weight as well, but man it is hard to give up bacon :ph34r: That was why I was so interested in paleo for a while as well, because I think they still eat bacon, and some of my stomach problems come from gluten. I didn't go any further with it at the time because it was difficult to manage and research while I was still travelling a lot, but maybe this is another good opportunity to give it a try. At a minimum it's going to tell me if it is a diet issue or if it is because I am a bit depressed. I know why I would think I am depressed too - I feel like I am not getting anywhere at work, that nothing is really moving forward as well as I would like. I have dealt with this before, and it requires me to reshape my goals and refocus. I need to spend some time reflecting to achieve that. Does not help I haven't been able to get back into my running routine due to a combination of work and injuries. It's now been 3 days since I have run (sounds like I am confessing to a priest), but I am determined to get out there today. Looking at the counter for 14 days to go to the next marathon, I need to get it sorted.

Battleplan for today

1. Have the day off. I need to force myself to be in the moment rather than thinking/stressing about work. Enjoy just spending time with my family rather than thinking about what I should be doing.

2. Get back running. Stop making excuses. There isn't any today. 

3. Have the vegetarian option for lunch if my family goes out to eat.

Grateful corner

1. My wife. She definitely brings far more to our unit than I do. I am pleased how much I do things around the house now and for my son to try and ease the burden thanks to the detox, but she is always making more and more sacrifices.

2. My friends. I have struggled to get away from work because of the load lately and how I have been feeling (flat), so they have been doing favours for me during the week. I need to make it up to them somehow, it definitely separates those who are actually mates and those who are there for the ride.

3. My old boss. I saw him today and I talked to him about how I was considering a phD next year after I finish my masters and he gave me a lot of tips. Also offered to write me a letter of endorsement to get me into the program for both my academics and personal skills. What a champ.

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30 Sep 17

Days to go: 198

Days to Marathon 2: 13

Days to Ultra-Trail: 230

So maybe it is something going on with our environment, because now my wife is very sluggish and wanting to sleep a lot. Our sleeping patterns haven't changed somewhat for the last few weeks, so it must be either the pressures of this week - either from having family visit or from trying to juggle a lot of other tasks/issues - or the diet, though we only really eat the same thing at dinner so that doesn't have a lot of credibility in my head.

I put off making today's post because my new laptop arrived so I was hoping to make it from the laptop, but I am still trying to set it up. I spent about 5 hours making several complete backups of it before I started tweaking it as I have the tendency to break things. I had a great wallpaper last year with the slogan "I void warranties". So true. Anyway, new laptop is here, spent all afternoon getting it ready, hopefully will switch across to it tomorrow.

Not much else to report on today, the knee is still really bad and as I watch the counter to the next marathon go down, I can't help but get a little worried. I have started training on the cross trainer to still get my cardio in but without the impact of running on the road/footpath etc, which has been a little bit of expectation management for a mind that enjoys watching the country side and using landmarks to push myself to go further and faster. 

Spent the morning with my son at the zoo, was a blast. Chose the vegetarian burrito for lunch - not paleo because it had rice, but still in line with my aim of cutting down my meat intake - and it was actually good. 

Feeling a lot better today, I think spending Friday and today just stopping and unwinding and forcing myself to slow down has done wonders. I need to do that more often. Have I reshaped my goals and have a clear way ahead? No, but I think I have cut down a lot of the background noise.

Battleplan for today

1. The day is over already so nothing to add.

Grateful corner

1. Annual zoo pass. Relatively cheap if you go frequently, and you feel less stressed or obligated to try and rush around to see all the animals as you know you can come back in a few weeks. Today we just hung out in the Australian outback section as my son seemed to really like the emu's, and then the lemurs. A quick bite to eat and home, feeling good for getting out of the house. Next time I am going to pack a picnic though, for a) saving money and b) having more control over my meal choices.

2. Open source software. I keep saying this but I am forever grateful. Really need to work out how to give back to the community - maybe a patreon donation, but I'd really like to contribute in a more tangible way, like programming or testing.

3. Online shopping. Saving so much money by avoiding purchasing retail. Had to order some new cables for the laptop and saved $60.

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02 Oct 17

Days to go: 196

Days to Marathon 2: 11

Days to Ultra-Trail: 228

Finally coming to you from the new laptop. I had to re-install my OS twice because I had chosen a window manager that doesn't scale properly with HD/retina screens. Like my mate said - "that's a great problem to have". Made me think - what are other problems, or "first world problems" that I might have and complain about? I bet its the majority of my issues. It resulted in me not posting yesterday so I ensured I made up for it today.

Anyway we have a long weekend here and I kind of wasted yesterday but not achieving much, but I don't mind. I really wanted to stop and reflect this weekend and give myself time to relax because I felt like I was in a rut, and I am achieving that. If I could just get some study done though today I think I would feel better about myself. Maybe a few tasks with my projects as well. They may seem like small asks, but it tends to be a challenge when my son is out and about so time to myself tends to be compressed until after he goes to sleep.

Still having issues with my leg - not really sure what else to do or try. About to be 10 days or less to the next marathon and I have barely run since the last one, and the days to the ultra trail are ticking down. I might have to organise to go back and see a specialist.

Battleplan for today

1. Study and get some online posts in so it doesn't look like I am slacking off. Would like to start compiling my posts into a journal but I don't see that happening today.

2. Watch some foootballlll! No wonder Aussies think NFL is so stop-start, every single second that isn't a play is replaced by an ad over here. I guess they are trying to recoup the cost of buying the telecast but far out it is excessive.

3. Progress *something* with my RPi projects. Anything.

Grateful corner

1. Public holiday! Gives me a chance to watch football in the morning and spend time with my family in the afternoon. If only I had a man cave....

2. Online forums. Had to work through a few problems with the laptop that were sorted with searching through online forums. I'd say problems but they were mostly self-generated. Finally warming to Reddit after all these years.

3. Repurposing items laying around the house for new projects. I am not sure if this is what they officially call "recycling"? I thought there was another term for it.

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03 Oct 17

Days to go: 195

Days to Marathon 2: 10

Days to Ultra-Trail: 227

Not much to report here, spent my day off watching glorious amounts of NFL (3 games) so didn't get much else done on my chores or to do list other than some  tweaks on the computer. Did not do any study or any posts online though, or anything to do with my RPis. I need screws to mount them in 3D printing for the latter, and I really need to get back studying, I did not contribute at all for the last week and only one post the week before. Study has fallen out of my routine and I need to get it back in there.

So shifts the focus to today, what is my plan? It is going to be a busy day and I am not "dreading" going to work like I have been the last few weeks. I don't think I will have an overly emotional day either, apart from the standard Monday dramas.

Bit of a light on post. I hope that is a good sign.

Battleplan for today

1. Do some research into gluten-free and/or paleo diets. Enough tip toeing around the issue and thinking I can manage it without making a meal plan.

2. Get back running and/or book an appointment with the physio for my knee. I'm going crazy by not being able to run and struggling to stay in the flow without it.

3. Get some study done mate. C'mon. Stop avoiding this. Do what you need to do.

Grateful corner

1. My parents coming to stay to help out.

2. Whatsapp so I can send voice bytes to some friends who are not having a good time at the moment. What goes around comes around so I need to contribute to them somehow, and this seems like a simple way.

3. Bookmarks. Very efficient to just click a bookmark rather than constantly typing or searching - I need to bookmark more pages.

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04 Oct 17

Days to go: 194

Days to Marathon 2: 9

Days to Ultra-Trail: 226

Absolute farkin fantastic news, I finally managed to get running! I had such a really bad day yesterday I thought I would go clear my head with a jog and try to see how my knee is going. I managed to get a 3km run in and the knee felt mostly good. I couldn't hold the run all the way and it felt a bit harder than normal but hey I got back out there, and I wasn't in agony. It was a massive boost to my mental state that's for sure, and I got pretty happy that I was managing a run so my bad day melted into oblivion. I won't have a chance to go today because of work but tomorrow I'll try to see how I go running the whole distance or longer. I am so happy I got that sorted, especially with the days to go to the second marathon down to single digits.

It was a pretty massive day yesterday. A mate was diagnosed with a brain tumor and a few of my team members dropped some very heavy news that I need to help sort out. Very emotionally draining.  My mind went into overdrive into how I could help them and what I could do to value add to the situation but I didn't come up with anything other than to talk to them. I hope that helped and I will ensure I go out of my way to keep it up over the next week or so. By the time the day ended and I had been for my run, and settled my son (which is a lot harder thanks to this daylight savings shennanigans), I really had nothing left in the tank; so didn't progress my study or look into new diets, but at least I didn't use escapism to avoid them.

I will be working until midnight so the battleplan will be challenging. I apologise for not spending much time reading and contributing to other's journals and paths at the moment, once I rebuild my energy I will get back to it as much as I can.

Battleplan for today

1. Don't get emotional at work. This appears quite often in my plan for the day as I am still progressing towards how to get this under control. I think today will be fine as it is a fun part of my job (even though it is late hours).

2. Check out the discord plugin for pidgin this morning. I know Gamequitters has discord and I noticed yesterday while messing around with my laptop that there is a third party plugin for pidgin for it. Definitely going to give it a try.

3. Update my budget. It is a few weeks out of date.

Grateful corner

1. My health. As much as I have my first world problem of my knee which takes up a lot of mental space, there are people far far worse out there, including the challenges my friends are facing.

2. My early morning routine. It could be better, but gets the flow going first thing in the morning. Do need to heed SlackRamen's advice and consider a sleep in though this weekend. I haven't had one for months - too much to do.

Edited by giblets
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09 Oct 17

Days to go: 189

Days to Marathon 2: 4

Days to Ultra-Trail: 221

It has been 5 days since I have done a journal entry, and I would apologise, but ultimately I would need to apologise to myself. It has been a very busy week and through a combination of prioritisation and rest I haven't mustered up a journal post. I still have been lurking and reading journals.

I am back in (almost) full swing with running. The knee, while uncomfortable, has stopped hurting and I have managed to push myself really well. My runs are back out to 10km and I can hold them for a good solid 6-7 minutes before I need to walk, and its not from the knee usually now, but because I have run out of breath. I think that is due to a combination of drinking way too much beer lately (which I really need to give up) and not doing a great deal since the last marathon due to the injuries. I definitely learnt something from this whole process, and that is I think my body does need about 5-6 weeks rest to return to its former glory. Even though I was mentally and aerobically feeling great after a week from the marathon, I haven't been able to get back into the full swing of things yet. I have another challenge now as well - my son was sneezing on me all weekend and I just knew I would come down with it, and sure enough, I have the early onset symptoms of the flu. I started to get down about it, thinking to myself what terrible timing, but then I remind myself I didn't exactly have a dream lead up to the last marathon either, so I just need to get on with it. I hope that once the race starts I will go to my happy place and power on. My aim is to beat the cut off point at about 22km I think it was. Once I am through there I am happy to slow down - but that has given me something to aim for. Having something to aim for has made a serious difference and I thoroughly recommend it to everyone even if it is just a short fun run distance (4km), because it gives you this undiscovered motivation. Take yesterday for example, I decided to run one way instead of a loop out to where my friends were having dinner. I was averaging 6:15m/km before I made the decision, and that quickly dropped to 5:15m/km as soon as I decided I wasn't going to double back. I have talked about running one way before to help with my motivation and I think it is time I pulled the trigger and did it.

Speaking of pulling the trigger - I have cut gluten out of my diet. I still need to do some research on it so I can work out which foods are gluten free myself, but I have finally done it. At the moment I just read the packets of things in the supermarket or order the gluten free item on the menu, but I would like to get to the stage where I could work it out for myself. It was a combination of being annoyed that I am always talking about it with no action, and eating a few things last week which caused me some pain. It's time to stop living uncomfortably I told myself. Of course, a big thing and a personal hurdle I need to overcome now, is to stop drinking beer. Not going to lie, I love beer. Gone are the days where I get crazy on it, but I do thoroughly enjoy two or three when I am out having a meal with family and friends, or a work function. To now remove that is going to be a bigger hurdle than reading the packet of food to see if it is gluten free. I have no doubt my family and friends will be supportive of the change, it is just going to be the battle of finding something else I like, or stopping altogether.

Battleplan for today

1. I have fallen so far behind now in my studies that it is a problem. I need to put some effort into this today no matter what it takes. I don't care how busy or unwell you are feeling, there needs some tangible work by the end of the day.

2. Drink water and rest as much as possible to attack this flu. I still need to go to work but I might try to leave early.

3. I'm hesitant to set any other targets for today noting how much I need to dedicate to my studies, so lets say something simple like clean up my desk so I can focus a little better.

Grateful corner

1. My wife being tolerant of how much I train. I didn't really think too much about this until I was discussing the ultra marathon next week with some peers and realised the impost it puts on my family, having me not only away for those numbers of hours, but the travel and recovery time, washing, buying equipment etc.

2. My son for being such a trooper. He is such a well behaved and tempered boy that I am proud as punch. I really hope it remains that way for say, the next 20 years :D

3. My new laptop. It has only crashed once since I have bought it - still don't know why it did - compared to the several times per day on my RPi desktop (although admittedly that was mainly my own fault because of cooling). The fact I no longer feel nervous when I am doing some CPU heavy tasks is a great investment in itself.

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