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kortheo

My Journal - Travis

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Day 280

WorkInProgress - Well, I do hope it's brave and not stupid, haha. There's only one way to find that out though, I think. I've told a few people and they were all supportive. I'm still waiting for a negative reaction from someone. One person called it crazy but not in a mean way, just like a 'wow, I wish I could do that' kind of way.

I've been doing a lot of social stuff recently, and I've been trying to take more time for myself. It's about finding a balance. I organized a happy hour event last night that was really fun though, and met some new people. I've been noticing though in my conversations with people that I am zoning out sometimes, having trouble mustering the energy to sustain long conversations. Just not feeling fully engaged. If I'm talking with a girl I find attractive I might lose confidence halfway through the conversation. Sometimes I feel like I have a relationship with the group around me, but my one-on-one relationships with its members are lacking, like I'm not engaging individuals enough to have real relationships with them. It feels hard to be really myself and be vulnerable. Idk. I'm not sure what it is. It may be a product of needing more time alone to recharge my introvert batteries, or also just dealing with some big decisions that are occupying my thoughts.

I've also allowed my environment to get a bit chaotic, which reflects where my life and mind are right now. I need to wash my car. I need a haircut. I need new clothes; I frequently feel unconfident in what I'm dressed in and it sucks. I need to clean my apartment. Etc. Thankfully tomorrow is a day off for me and I can work on these things.

I have a date tomorrow with someone new from OKC. So I'm looking forward to that. She was specifically interested in me because I put on my profile that I chose to quit video games to do other things with my time. Take heed, fellow gamequitters! :) Haha. I'm also getting coffee with an old friend on Saturday who I recently crossed paths with, as well. Then Saturday evening there's a meetup event for a beach bonfire that I planned, which should be a ton of fun. 30 people signed up so far.

Um... what else. I haven't been journaling enough, so it's good for me to do this. Now that I've chosen to leave this job, every day I just feel that I don't want to be here anymore. I'll make it work for the remaining time, but it's not the funnest. I guess I'm just that much more aware of the weight that the job puts on me vs the freedom I could experience soon based on my current situation. In terms of trip planning, I have a ton to do. I just got in touch with my friend living in China and I'm going to end up staying with him for a while in October :). So that's a start! I'm actually wondering how much planning my trip will actually require. At a bare minimum I could buy a one-way ticket, show up at my friend's place, and crash there for a week or two and figure it all out as I go, but I'll probably do a bit more than that :).

Last and randomly, I'm thinking of buying some new clothes online, any suggested retailers? I don't have much confidence buying online but I'd like to change that.

 

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Hey Old Timer! :)

I really enjoy reading your journal. Gonna listen to your podcasts after finishing exams!

And you should do something you really want to do as a job, don't care about what others say! You quitted video games so you deserve to live your life to the fullest. And also for a good date with a girl :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Hey Old Timer! :)

I really enjoy reading your journal. Gonna listen to your podcasts after finishing exams!

And you should do something you really want to do as a job, don't care about what others say! You quitted video games so you deserve to live your life to the fullest. And also for a good date with a girl :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hey thanks so much! I hope you like the podcasts, any feedback is really welcome.

Speaking of, I have a new episode, which I recorded on Friday:

https://soundcloud.com/travis-kirk-992919435/episode-7-notes-on-a-terrible-accident

 

Day 283

A few things to update on. First, I finished reading Vagabonding - great book! I highly recommend it for anyone considering travel.

Second, I wanted to present a case study from my life regarding anxiety. I used to have pretty pervasive generalized anxiety, but I've done a lot of work on it and now it only appears as occasional episodes. This weekend I had to deal with such an episode. I was driving to a new place I had never been to before. It was for a date, and it was fairly out of the way... definitely the edge of what is reasonable for me to travel just for a date. The anxiety had nothing to do with the date (first dates don't really phase me anymore, interestingly) but rather the fact that where I was going was unfamiliar, really hot (mid 90s Fahrenheit), and involved driving on some windy roads in the middle of no where for 30 minutes or so. I had anxiety about the driving - what if my car overheats and breaks down and I'm all by myself? What if I'm in an area without cell reception and can't get help? What if I die of heat exhaustion? Etc. These were the sorts of things going through my head, and it was causing me a lot of suffering.

In the past, an older version of me would just have not gone at all. I wouldn't have considered the date because it was so far away (even though I wanted to meet this girl because I was interested in her). And if I had considered the date, I would have been put off by the anxiety from the trip. In short I would have avoided the anxiety. But in fact, this is exactly the wrong approach because it allows the anxiety to persist. It makes it go away in the short term, but it makes you miss out on a chance to conquer that anxiety so that it wouldn't be a trigger for you in the future. I took three approaches to conquering the anxiety: 1) I did mindfulness meditation, and practiced non-judgmental awareness of my anxious thoughts. This gave me some distance from them and made them seem less objectively true. 2) I did a cognitive behavioral therapy exercise that involved identifying all the thoughts and worries I had, identifying any distortions in them, and proposing alternate, more reasonable thoughts. In this instance, my main cognitive distortion is catastrophizing; I was focusing in on the absolute worse outcomes possible and then acting afraid as if they were inevitable, when they were truly very unlikely. So for example, instead of thinking the thought "What if my car breaks down and I'm stranded in the middle of no where?" I instead replaced it with the thought "My car is in good repair and people drive in heat like this all the time, most likely nothing bad will happen"; this process alleviates anxiety. 3) I took action (the behavioural aspect of CBT) to proactively address my concerns. I worried about breaking down - so I bought emergency supplies for my car to address that scenario (water, non-perishable food, sunblock, a hat to protect from the sun, tools). Though I had my car serviced regularly, I had no idea if it was in danger of overheating - so I learned how to check the coolant fluid level so I knew I was good there (dead simple). I also told my sister where I was going just so someone would know, as that made me more comfortable. I think I did one or two other things, e.g. gathered a list of emergency numbers. Some of these actions might have been unnecessary overkill; others are very sensible. But the point is that all of it allowed me to diminish my anxiety a large degree, and instead of allowing my anxiety to control and dictate behavior, I worked to proactively manage my anxiety so that I could still achieve my goal. I still had some anxiety when going, but my car ended up being perfectly fine and I went on the date and returned home safely. A bonus to this is that I got to experience a new place that I had never been to (and gained appreciation for where I live as a result - very grateful to live on the coast where it's cool!) I don't think there'll be a second date because the drive turned out to be too long, but I had a good time nonetheless. All in all, I'm grateful for the entire experience! And now I have confidence in my ability to drive under hot weather conditions in the future.

Third, I wanted to comment on that I've been feeling a little out of whack the past couple of weeks. I let someone into my life who wasn't really healthy for me right now, and I had to realize that and step back from them. In the past this has been much more difficult for me, but I'm getting better at identifying certain patterns I have with people that aren't healthy, and taking actions quicker. I also haven't been exercising as regularly or eating as well as I would like to be. All in all I just feel a little off balance and mixed up. I getting back on track. Here's the crazy thing, though: Even in a low point like this, I'm still getting so much done in my life, way more than I was 6 months ago, or back when I was gaming.  I'm getting way more done now during my worst moments than I was during my BEST moments while gaming. I organized a big beach bonfire with friends last night and it was super successful. I went on the date today and conquered my anxiety. I finished reading Vagabonding, and I'm continuing to make progress on planning my travel. I talked to a Chinese woman last night who had moved here recently, and she gave me a bunch of tips for when I go on my trip to China. Right now, I'm planning on what I'm going to cook for dinner, and then I'm going to work on coding stuff. Through all of this, I've been really dedicated at my morning routine of meditation and 5 Minute Journaling. I bought some new clothes this weekend, too. Getting thrown balance is inevitable. But we can still get a lot done in those phases, and we can get better and better at bouncing back from them.

Have a good evening, everyone.

Edited by kortheo

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Day 284

Back to the old drawing board. Time to take stock of things.

There are only so many hours in the day, and we only have so much mental energy/attention to pursue important projects in those hours. You can't have perfect focus the entire time you're awake. So we can work to optimize how we spend our mental energy, and how best to spend the rest of our time during tasks that require a little less focus.

I am currently returning to a few old issues that I need to iterate on once more. In planning for my trip and leaving my job, I am looking to trim expenses and save as much money as possible. I am also looking to revisit diet and exercise, because the past couple weeks I haven't done so great on those. Incidentally diet and exercise could be made much cheaper for me, and I'd say this is a huge chunk of where I could cut costs.

In truth I have been struggling with committing to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes recently, and I have been considering quitting it. My initial 3 months are basically up anyway, and I don't want to renew because that would be several hundred dollars that I would like to save. I won't lie to myself that the money is the only reason - BJJ is hard, physically, mentally, emotionally, and it was hard for me to continue with it. I grew a lot from it and learned valuable lessons. I would like to revisit it in the future. But for now I am going to explore cheaper exercise alternatives. Another bonus is that I will save time - I'd like to do cardio and kettlebells. BJJ is a minimum 1.5 hour affair for me twice a week; KBs and cardio will be 30 mins or less each session. Kettlebell workouts from the book Simple and Sinister are quick and very effective at working your whole body. For cardio, HIIT is highly efficient in terms of the benefit you get for the time. I'd be leaving behind a social activity for one that is solo usually, but in truth I have been overly social for my introvert self lately, so I think this will work out fine, as I still have plenty of other social outlets.

With respect to food, I've been eating out way too much. For me, eating out is the single most difficult habit I have for me to break. Overall, cooking at home saves both time and money, so I have the benefits to gain as with exercise. Last time I worked at this problem, I tried to learn more about cooking by reading the 4 Hour Chef. This was OK, but it wasn't the best book for me. I realize I'm less interested in cooking gourmet stuff as I am in cooking things that are utilitarian - cheap, healthy, tasty, quick. In that regard budgetbytes.com has been good to me.

These two aspects of health - food and exercise - have always been a struggle for me. While I enjoy the benefits of how I feel when I eat well and work out, I am not always motivated to pursue them. It feels like working uphill. I wonder if I have some core belief or mindset that is preventing me from succeeding here, or if it's just this hard for everyone. If anyone has had a breakthrough in turning around their habits in these areas, I would love to hear about it.

Have a good day, everyone.

Edited by kortheo

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Hey if you want an flexible alternative you could check out this bodyweight-routine. That's what I do 3 times a week and in my opinion it is awesome. Doing something everyday helped me a lot to make this more comfortable. I did go running in the break days. Lately I do yoga instead.

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 285

@WorkInProgress That routine looks awesome! I'll definitely give that a go.

 

Okay. So I have three things that I want to work on. Not eating out, working out regularly, and (I haven't talked about this yet) but being less selfish.

The best way to improve something is to bring awareness to it. Also, social accountability doesn't hurt.

With that in mind, I'm going to try merely tracking these things publicly on my journal this week, and see how it goes. No specific goal in mind, but I think just putting it here will motivate me to improve. I'll track # of times I've paid to eat out, # of times I've worked out and for how long, and # of times I've done something kind or generous for someone else without prompting.

Eating out (prices approximate)

  • 6/26 - Sunday - $30, date lunch for 2
  • 6/27 - Monday - $3, fast food shake

Exercise

  • 6/26 - Sunday - None
  • 6/27 - Monday - Ran for 28 minutes; walked 10 minutes

Generosity

  • 6/26 - Sunday - Opened a door for someone
  • 6/27 - Monday - None

I can already tell that this is going to be a powerful exercise for me. I love how simple it is. What gets measured gets improved.

That's all for now. Peace.

UPDATE:

I have a few more thoughts to share related to this.

When I first started trying to change my habits, I would just go the 'raw willpower' route. I'll just try really hard and I'll change this habit through brute force!

But that doesn't work. We have limited willpower. Merely trying harder doesn't last. This will maybe work if you're only focusing on one habit at a time and your life is pretty stable and not stressful. And it will probably take longer.

But a more effective way is to work smarter rather than harder. Rather than forcing it, find ways to motivate yourself. By keeping your awareness of the problem, you'll generate motivation to change the habit. If I'm constantly reminded how much money I could be saving by cooking, I'll be more motivated to cook. Also, find social accountability. By posting my efforts here, other people will see them, and I'll feel bad if I fail publicly. Finally, create a structure for it. For food, I plan to have one day a week where I shop and cook, and I will plan simple meals that have a structure to them (carb, veggies, protein) that don't take long to prepare. None of this is effort free - you need to discipline yourself to stick to the structure and stick to the awareness and accountability. But this is very different than raw willpower. Your willpower will go further when fed into a structured system that is designed to get results, as opposed to being undirected :) Hope this makes sense. Again: Awareness, accountability, structure, discipline. I'm going to try this route for these habits which are super challenging for me and see how it goes!

Edited by kortheo

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In truth I have been struggling with committing to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes recently, and I have been considering quitting it. My initial 3 months are basically up anyway, and I don't want to renew because that would be several hundred dollars that I would like to save. I won't lie to myself that the money is the only reason - BJJ is hard, physically, mentally, emotionally, and it was hard for me to continue with it. I grew a lot from it and learned valuable lessons. I would like to revisit it in the future. But for now I am going to explore cheaper exercise alternatives. Another bonus is that I will save time - I'd like to do cardio and kettlebells. BJJ is a minimum 1.5 hour affair for me twice a week; KBs and cardio will be 30 mins or less each session. Kettlebell workouts from the book Simple and Sinister are quick and very effective at working your whole body. For cardio, HIIT is highly efficient in terms of the benefit you get for the time. I'd be leaving behind a social activity for one that is solo usually, but in truth I have been overly social for my introvert self lately, so I think this will work out fine, as I still have plenty of other social outlets.

With respect to food, I've been eating out way too much. For me, eating out is the single most difficult habit I have for me to break. Overall, cooking at home saves both time and money, so I have the benefits to gain as with exercise. Last time I worked at this problem, I tried to learn more about cooking by reading the 4 Hour Chef. This was OK, but it wasn't the best book for me. I realize I'm less interested in cooking gourmet stuff as I am in cooking things that are utilitarian - cheap, healthy, tasty, quick. In that regard budgetbytes.com has been good to me.

I'm feeling the same way with BJJ – It's very hard. The overall attitude at my gym is very competitive. The competitiveness is admirable, but it's hard to train if BJJ is just a hobby amongst others. That's why it is hard for me to maintain it along my normal routine. Still it's an amazing sport that really lets you try your limits and capabilities. I'm considering on giving up BJJ after school starts so I'll have time to make some money, go to the gym and jogging.

I'll definitely check out budgetbytes! New recipes that are easy to cook and provide food that lasts for many days are always wanted. 

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In truth I have been struggling with committing to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes recently, and I have been considering quitting it. My initial 3 months are basically up anyway, and I don't want to renew because that would be several hundred dollars that I would like to save. I won't lie to myself that the money is the only reason - BJJ is hard, physically, mentally, emotionally, and it was hard for me to continue with it. I grew a lot from it and learned valuable lessons. I would like to revisit it in the future. But for now I am going to explore cheaper exercise alternatives. Another bonus is that I will save time - I'd like to do cardio and kettlebells. BJJ is a minimum 1.5 hour affair for me twice a week; KBs and cardio will be 30 mins or less each session. Kettlebell workouts from the book Simple and Sinister are quick and very effective at working your whole body. For cardio, HIIT is highly efficient in terms of the benefit you get for the time. I'd be leaving behind a social activity for one that is solo usually, but in truth I have been overly social for my introvert self lately, so I think this will work out fine, as I still have plenty of other social outlets.

With respect to food, I've been eating out way too much. For me, eating out is the single most difficult habit I have for me to break. Overall, cooking at home saves both time and money, so I have the benefits to gain as with exercise. Last time I worked at this problem, I tried to learn more about cooking by reading the 4 Hour Chef. This was OK, but it wasn't the best book for me. I realize I'm less interested in cooking gourmet stuff as I am in cooking things that are utilitarian - cheap, healthy, tasty, quick. In that regard budgetbytes.com has been good to me.

I'm feeling the same way with BJJ – It's very hard. The overall attitude at my gym is very competitive. The competitiveness is admirable, but it's hard to train if BJJ is just a hobby amongst others. That's why it is hard for me to maintain it along my normal routine. Still it's an amazing sport that really lets you try your limits and capabilities. I'm considering on giving up BJJ after school starts so I'll have time to make some money, go to the gym and jogging.

I'll definitely check out budgetbytes! New recipes that are easy to cook and provide food that lasts for many days are always wanted. 

Haha, glad to see I'm not alone in this. Yes, I have the utmost respect for people to do BJJ, and I would really like to go back to it in the future. But I think I lack the competitiveness that some of them have, and yes it seems harder to do it just as a hobby on the side. It seems like you're really either totally committed or just not.

Edited by kortheo

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Day 286

No time right now, just getting this bit put here:

Eating out (prices approximate)

  • 6/26 - Sunday - $30, date lunch for 2
  • 6/27 - Monday - $3, fast food shake
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - $7, beer at a pub with friends.

Exercise

  • 6/26 - Sunday - None
  • 6/27 - Monday - Ran for 28 minutes; walked 10 minutes
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - Kettlbell training, 10 swings (gotta start somewhere)

Generosity

  • 6/26 - Sunday - Opened a door for someone
  • 6/27 - Monday - None
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - None

May update later.

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Day 287

Did a morning pages exercise and wrote 3 full pages offline. Today, just these tracking metrics:

Eating out (prices approximate)

  • 6/26 - Sunday - $30, date lunch for 2
  • 6/27 - Monday - $3, fast food shake
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - $7, beer at a pub with friends.
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - $0!

Exercise

  • 6/26 - Sunday - None
  • 6/27 - Monday - Ran for 28 minutes; walked 10 minutes
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - Kettlebell training, 10 swings (gotta start somewhere)
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - None

Generosity

  • 6/26 - Sunday - Opened a door for someone
  • 6/27 - Monday - None
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - None
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - Offered shotgun to my coworker instead of taking it myself, opened the door for coworkers, opened the door for all my friends when leaving the pub.

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Cant believe how inspiring your posts are!! To be honest i have never read anyones posts on here but reading yours as you commenting on my page a while ago i know its time for change!! Cheers Dude 

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Cant believe how inspiring your posts are!! To be honest i have never read anyones posts on here but reading yours as you commenting on my page a while ago i know its time for change!! Cheers Dude 

So glad to hear it man! You can do it! :D 

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"Shotgun the back!"

B|

In a display of goodwill, Kortheo offers the front seat to the new guy as he hands him the combat shotgun.  He's going to need it.  These missions never go to plan.  Kortheo slams a 30 round magazine into his assault rifle as he takes the back seat.

They look at Kortheo.

"We're ready.  Let's go."

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Day 289

Woops, missed my journal yesterday. Let's catch up:

Eating out (prices approximate)

  • 6/26 - Sunday - $30, date lunch for 2
  • 6/27 - Monday - $3, fast food shake
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - $7, beer at a pub with friends.
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - $0!
  • 6/30 - Thursday - $7.50, got dinner with a friend.
  • 7/1 - Friday - $0! Cooked instead.

Exercise

  • 6/26 - Sunday - None
  • 6/27 - Monday - Ran for 28 minutes; walked 10 minutes
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - Kettlebell training, 10 swings (gotta start somewhere)
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - None
  • 6/30 - Thursday - Kettlebell training, 20 swings. I can already feel sore muscles :D Swings are so much fun!
  • 7/1 - Friday -  None

Generosity

  • 6/26 - Sunday - Opened a door for someone
  • 6/27 - Monday - None
  • 6/28 - Tuesday - None
  • 6/29 - Wednesday - Offered shotgun to my coworker instead of taking it myself, opened the door for coworkers, opened the door for all my friends when leaving the pub.
  • 6/30 - Thursday - Opened doors for coworkers again.
  • 7/1 - Friday - Brought corn and chicken to a gathering of friends and cooked it to share with everyone.

 

This has been a valuable exercise, and I will try it for at least one more week. It has made me more conscious of my spending, exercise, and how I'm offering to help others. It is motivating to know I'll have to post here and that makes me more likely to do the right things. Not paying to eat out happened to be very easy this week because I basically got free lunch from work all week. But that is a rare thing; next week I will be required to do more planning.

In about an hour I'm going to a 4th of July party. Since the 4th is on a Monday this year, everyone is celebrating on Saturday. There is a girl there that I've clicked with recently and we're supposed to hang out after the party. I'm nervous/excited to see how it goes.

I've been feeling anxious today, not just because of that, but more generally. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm trying to just be mindful of it and let it pass rather than getting caught up in it. It was a long week at work, and I'm about 1 week out from quitting some minor bad-habits, so maybe it's partially a withdrawal from those. I'm feel self-conscious about my appearance, for example. I guess I just want to make a good impression. I'm sure I'm over-thinking things.

I just finished up the course on git/github on Udacity.com, and I'm going to poke my toe into their HTML/CSS and beginning Javascript courses to get a taste of what webdev is like. So far I'm feeling underwhelmed by it and feeling I'd rather focus on another kind of coding but maybe it's just my mood. Anyway, the only way to find out what I like is to try different things and see what sticks. Consistency is key! I do 1 hour per day on average.

I'm continuing to read Sapiens, which is fantastic. I'm also reading that book on traveling the world for $50/day, and I'm following its advice on getting certain bank accounts setup before traveling to minimize my expenses and maximize my rewards. Fun stuff.

I feel like I have a lot buzzing around in my brain, but I don't know what else to talk about. Time to go meditate, maybe (48 day streak right now, btw! The Calm app rocks).

Have a great weekend everyone.

Edited by kortheo

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Hey if you want to check out python programming i found the free ebook https://automatetheboringstuff.com/ very helpful. It goes right into programming useful tools for your everyday computerlife after the python basic. Maybe this is worth checking out for you if webdev keeps disappointing.

Whoa awesome! I think I'm just at the perfect skill level for this, I will definitely give this a shot soon.

Day 291

Just got done meeting with Cam. This was a pretty impactful session for me so I wanted to do a brain dump and reflect on some of what I've learned today, and on other thoughts I'm having.

Today Cam explained that in his view, there are three core life skills: Social skills, Marketing, and Sales. My gut reaction to this is "augh" because these are things that do not come naturally to me. But I must admit that he is correct; here are my takeaways. Social skills are straightforward enough - in my life currently I am spending more and more time in group social situations and the experience from that is growing my social skills and it is very fulfilling. Being able to communicate and relate to others effectively and with ease is key to success in life. Marketing is the ability to get your ideas, content, etc, to the people you want to see it. It connects you to others and allows you to benefit in some way from the connection. Sales is the ability (I'm guessing) to convince others or at least get them to agree with you on things. I could be missing some element of it there. But even if the only thing that you're marketing and selling is you as a person, or employee or whatever, it's still key for you to go through life and be an effective person, and moreover to be a self-reliant person. Self-reliance is born from trust and results in confidence in ourselves, and in our ability to manage our own lives without fear.

These are key lessons for me because as an introverted, technically inclined person, these skillsets are the last on my list of things to develop. But if I do develop them it will give me an edge in a field where people usually hone their technical skills to the exclusion of everything else. They are all social skills that people respond to in significant ways. Also, realization! When I am hanging out with people, I am not merely killing time and having fun. Every social event is a chance for me to grow and further develop my social skills. Like anything else in life that is worthwhile, it is an investment in myself.

Socially my life is going very well at the moment. I feel like my social life is now better than it has ever been before. I'm nervous about leaving that all behind when I go to travel, because I enjoy it so much. But Cam said what I can do is to make sure someone takes my place to keep the meetup successful and keep going what I've started, and I can always pick up where I left off when I get back. Plus, even if I leave these friends, this trip could be a life-changing thing for me, and I have to think of all of the people I will have a chance to meet while I'm travelling and how that will impact me.

I've been reflecting on how to deal with parts of our lives that are problematic for us. The first step is to bring awareness to it, just as I'm doing below with my eating budget, generosity, and exercise. So notice what it is that isn't working, and track it in someway to bring awareness to it. Then you'll know the shape and scope of the problem, and have some metric. Then, take action! Taking action to improve the metric will start to solve the problem. Taking action will also make you learn and change your mindset and assumptions and what you know about the problem. You will gain perspective. You may not succeed perfectly at first, but this doesn't matter. it's a matter of trying again and again. So for eating out, I first notice: I'm spending too much money on food because I'm eating out all the time. Then I start tracking how much I'm actually spending, on a day to day basis. I get a feel for my patterns. Then I come up with a plan and take action - I'll shop for groceries more often, maybe on a specific day, and I'll choose to cook food rather than eat out more. It'll be a gradual process, but it's a start. Finally, for some things you may need to do research or find a book to read. For exercise I'm reading Simple and Sinister for kettlebell exercises, for example. Gaining more information as you go will help you master the problem and help you iterate on the action that you're taking.

The formula is: Notice, track, plan, take action, learn, iterate.

I'm behind on my podcast. Falling off the bandwagon a bit. I also need a title. Time to get to work on that soon! I'm thinking I will use my podcast to document my travels abroad in the coming months.

Eating out (prices approximate)

  • 7/3/16 - $25; dinner and drinks with friends. 1 / week this is OK, but no more. It was a good time.
  • 7/4/16 - $25; coffee shops plus dinner with friends again. While I'm getting better at disciplining myself when I'm alone, I'm realizing that social situations are still a weak point for me.

Exercise

  • 7/3/16 - None
  • 7/4/16 - 25 kettlebell swings!

Generosity

  • 7/3/16 - Offered my friend to stay at my place and work during the day.
  • 7/4/16 - Complimented barista on her 4th of July makeup/outfit. (tangential to generosity but I'm counting it).

Have a wonderful day, everyone.

Edited by kortheo

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I can see were Cam is coming from! And I'm so glad you posted this! Dude I love it. Were are you traveling to out of interest? 

I'm planning on traveling to China, Thailand, and Vietnam. If I decide I want to stay longer, maybe Laos and Cambodia too. But basically SE Asia. :)

Day 292

I'll cover my food/exercise/generosity tomorrow. A full day hasn't elapsed yet :). I am proud of myself for packing a lunch though, and I have food at home I can eat for dinner. I feel like doing more kettlebell swings, too bad I'm at work :P. I haven't been 'generous' in the strictest sense recently, maybe kindness is a better way of thinking about it. I have begun to think more about others and how my actions affect them and how I can be nicer to them instead of just neutral.

So back to journaling basics. What's on my mind? What is bugging me emotionally?

Coming into work today I am reminded of why I need to move on. It's fine but I am not being challenged in the way that I want to be challenged. I am not surrounded by the people I need to be in order to learn, grow, and improve. I am not fulfilled; I feel stagnant. Instead of being angry at the situation or myself though, I merely notice it and accept it, and direct my energy towards working toward my goal of moving on.

I have a 2nd date tonight with a cool girl that I'm stoked for. :)

Reflecting on no longer doing BJJ - I feel happier overall without it. It was stressful for me. I feel much more content doing my workout routine individually. It is always good to push our boundaries so we grow - but we can always change our minds and try something else, too.

That's all for now. Have a good day everyone.

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