Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming

Fagus' journal


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 171
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Day 36:

I used gaming not only to escape temporarily, but permanently. I almost didn't take part in my real life at all. I hoped everything would settle itself somehow. Well, it should be obvious that it doesn't. The problem is, now that I haven't played any games for over a month, my mind is clear and I realize that the situation is more than dreadful. I had one year of training to prepare for my final state examination. Without gaming, I got plenty of time for preparation now, but the more time I spent, the more I realize how hopeless the situation is. The amount of learning matter I have not even touched and the mountain of knowledge I am lacking is overwhelming and I have exactly 3 days left until the exam starts. I completely wasted this year and this precious opportunity. I am drowning in self-pity and regret. All I want to do know is just game and escape all of this, but I can't, since I know everything would be even worse when I wake up the next time.

I know I have to keep going. Just get through all of this, life can change for the better. But the pile of shit I have to go through next is unbearable. I will fail my  exam bitterly. I can retry the exam once more after 6 months, but this is not common. This will be so shameful. All my co-aspirants, my instructor, the whole department I worked at this year... this will be a long walk of shame. It will also be shameful for my instructor and the department, cause ther reputation will suffer, since their aspirant failed... this is what burdens me the most. Above all, everyone I know, knows that I have my exams and will ask me how it went. Ah well, life sucks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Keep going dude! Regardless of the outcome of your exam, you can feel proud that you're taking steps now to correct your situation. Gaming might help you pretend otherwise, but you always know the truth. Hang in there, it may take some time to fix the situation you've created but just as you created it, you can create a NEW one. You've got this and we've got your back!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 41:

I used my disease to bypass the exam in order to get another half year for preparation. It was quite tricky and I faced a lot of opposition, but I suppose it will work. After all, I was hampered indeed by my illness. Gaming played a big role too, but isn't gaming addiction an illness too? Though this will never be accepted where I work at. The good news are, that my new medicament actually works, so I will really be able to get the most out of these extra 6 months.

Today I finished respawn. I found a lot of valuable information in the last chapters. I have to work out and think about a lot of this. I really want to step up my life, so I think about purchasing "the challenge".

I told my parents, that I've overcome my gaming addiction, how it affected my life lately and that I want to do my exams half a year later. I thought they would be really proud, because I had a lot of problems with gaming in my youth. Well... my parents were surprised that I was still gaming. They thought I had quit years before. I think the reason is, that they couldn't follow my recent gaming history, because I moved out like five years ago when I started my studies. But they said, that they are happy I made it now, eventually, sounding more disappointed than proud. That really hit me hard. But it made me also realize who I am doing this for. There is only one person in my life that really recognizes what a big step forward I made in these 41 days so far and this person is me. I am doing this for myself and I am proud of myself. I don't need the approval of anyone else.

I joined Colin in his freeletics program. It is really a lot of fun and I can feel how much my body needs the workout after years of slouching in front of the screen. Man, I'm so weak. I currently look like a scarecrow. That just means I got nothing to lose, but everything to gain, literally. Like muscles for eample. I had to make a fitness test, like doing some exercises so the algorithm could create the right workout for me.  The test made me do 25 sit ups among other things. I struggled a lot. So I told the program that this was too much, to get less sit ups in the weekly workout. Well, turned out that it doesn't work this way. I had to do 25 sit ups again yesterday and 100 crunches today. A hundred crunches. I can't even do 50. So I did a 100 today and almost died. It took me over 14 minutes. But this way I learned how progress works. When you play video games (at least when you dont play pvp), you adjust the difficulty, so the enemy is always as easy to beat as you want. This way you can make 'progress', just by spending time, not by facing and overcoming difficulties. Real life does not work this way. Reality hits you hard, bro.

What made me really sad today, is that I miss two of the German guys that started their detox soon after me. I haven't heard anything from -Tom- and Streuselsturm for weeks. I hope they are coming back really soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey I am glad that you were able to make this exam delay happen and the new meds work for you.

It is always sad if you write with other People and get Kind of invested in thei journey and they dissappear most likely dueto a relapse. But many come back later on and try again or were jsut busy and didn't journal. And there is atleast on German guy remaining ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 45:



"You're waking up every single day, so why not just go for it?"


In this first half of the detox, I gathered a lot of information and analyzed my current way of life. The only thing I got to do now, is to implement all of this.

I'm not sure what is holding me back, but I noticed, that I can shift my mindset into this "go for it" mentality at any time. I learned how to push my fears aside and to get going. I am reading the recommended book "daring greatly" at the moment and that is exactly what I am going to do. I'll dare greatly to go for it, building momentum and thus throwing me into the unknown, the place where life happens.


"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the determination to go for it anyway."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 51:

Had to go to hospital for some days because of a minor setback, but now I'm back and eager to go on. I had a lot of time to read "Daring Greatly". A great benefit.

The cravings are strong at the moment, because I'm leached out. This seems to be one of my triggers. When I have a time of bad health, I immerse myself in games until I've recovered. But this keeps me from indentifying the cause of my setback so I am stuck in a vicious cycle. Let's break out this time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 51:

Had to go to hospital for some days because of a minor setback, but now I'm back and eager to go on. I had a lot of time to read "Daring Greatly". A great benefit.

The cravings are strong at the moment, because I'm leached out. This seems to be one of my triggers. When I have a time of bad health, I immerse myself in games until I've recovered. But this keeps me from indentifying the cause of my setback so I am stuck in a vicious cycle. Let's break out this time.

Yea, that's a really important to keep away from games especially during setbacks.

Having a lot of free time could force you to waste, but you read instead. Just keep it up! Just break this vicious cycle each and every day!

Btw. what is the inspiration for your nickname? Because fagus has a really nice meaning in Latin :D

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the motivation, Mad Pharmacist.

You are right, the nickname is latin. I took "Fagus sylvatica", the common beech, because I am forester and this is my favourite tree species. It has a very good capacity of reaction, even if held in the shadow for centuries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 54:

I wake up in the morning, I hear the crows cawing outside. The morning is cloudy and there is moisture on the street, the cars and the trees. All of this reminds me of happy days that lie behind me. Days of gaming. I am at day 54, but with every passing day, my addiction is getting worse. I make plans for a hidden relapse. I think about which games I am going to reinstall and how to hide my gaming from my girlfriend and this community. I check my old community sites, I analyze which class would be best to play now. I watch streams on twitch. I really need to get back to gaming. I need distraction, I desire an escape, I want to get rid of all this stress and trouble. I know gaming can give me all this. So why not relapse? What should I fight against my cravings?


Yesterday I got my smartphone. My first one. I downloaded all of the interesting apps I had in mind for some time now, like

  • freeletics bodyweight
  • coach.me
  • habitica
  • duolingo
  • calm
  • headspace

and of course there is advertisement for games. Everywhere. But these games disgust me. It is not about random playing. This is about my life. My life is still in this one game I dare not to mention. It would not take longer than some minutes to completely get lost in this game again.

Miraculously, I did not relapse so far and with every day I stand my ground, I get more and more insights. Insights about myself, my life, my surroundings. I need time to learn and understand, but this is such a strain.

I understand that the main factor for me is connection. I have zero friends outside of gaming, but inside there are likeminded people waiting for me. People I know for 10 years of more, that I have seen only one or two times. The computer has been my gateway to social contacts. I need the safe distance that my screen provides and now I have to get rid of it. My craving for gaming is just an effigy of my craving for connection.


I really like headspace and calm and I made some progress with my autogenic training.


Deep breath in,


deep breath out


and a lot of stress immediately falls off. I am still learning to cope with intense emotions and cravings. I take a break, I focus on my breath, I focus on my body and my surroundings. I go for a walk, let my mind travel through the landscape. One fine day, I will find a solution for all these 'challenges'. 



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 64:

So I really did it. Not only have I quit playing video games for more than 9 weeks now, I also quit eating unhealthy food 9 days ago. Yes, you could call me a vegan now, but in fact it is way more than that! I put a lot of time into research about what is the healthiest way of nutrition. Vegans are indeed ahead of omnivores but only if done right. I did not substitute anything I ate before, so no fancy soy burger stuff, but instead I completely changed my menu.

A healthy nutrition consists of:

  • legumes
  • berries
  • other fruits
  • cruciferous vegetables
  • green leafy vegetables
  • other vegetables
  • flaxseeds
  • nuts
  • spices
  • whole grains
  • water

and at last, daily exercice.

Just trying to get all of this every day is quite a challenge and I wouldn't have so much motivation to do it, if not for the perspective of getting rid of my medicaments and their side effects. It is quite hard to walk past all the dairy and meat in the supermarket, but hey, I am used to the pull of a way stronger addiction.


I came to the conclusion, that gaming is a mental poison, at least for me. The first thing you need to do to cure yourself, obviously is to stop taking poison. The rest happens on its own. Change needs time and detoxification doesn't happen over night. So my focus is on not gaming and beeing open for those changes to come. I realized, that I can't force anything. In fact, it is not necessary to be hyperactive. Just by setting the right conditions for change in your life, the very change will happen on its own. Patience and time are key.

I will spent more time on examining my circumstances and check where I can make improvements and adjustments to nourish that consistent flow of positive change in my life. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ayy, always nice to find a fellow vegan. 

Nutrition is an extremely interesting and extremely underrated topic. It's borderline fun to read about all the vitamins and minerals, what they do, and planning your days/weeks to make sure you get enough of them. The menu you've created looks pretty damn good (I'm lazy so I eat substitutes sometimes, but really, eating fresh, non-processed food is what makes me feel the best.)

Also, I've always struggled when reaching 50 days (53 and 45 are my two farthest attempts). Idk why, but I'm struck by these immense cravings out of nowhere. Maybe it's the evil spirit of gaming realizing it's about to get cleansed, and so it attacks with the last of it's strength. Just pull through it. You know deep down that an eventual relapse won't feel good. It'll never feel good again, since you've realized that you have to move on. That knowledge won't leave you no matter how much you try to drown it out with gaming. 

Good luck. The poison will leave you eventually.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Join Our Discord Server!

Connect, discuss, and have fun with fellow members on our official Discord server.

Join Now

  • Create New...