Jump to content

NEW PODCAST: 3 Months of Solo Travel - Did It Change My Life? (spoilers, yes)

Simon E

A life without gaming

Recommended Posts

2500 words! O.o and then you finished the day with Inception xD overload! But it sounds awesome!

Days of depressive thoughts and ambitions happen :/ keep it up man! You're on the right track :)

When it comes to humanity being created from chance I have a completely different perspective :D I believe in the Big Bang, but I also believe there is a Creator behind all of it, who made us the way we are, in his image, because He loves us! Without my faith and relationship with God I wouldn't have purpose in my life. But hey, that's a different topic :P I'm not gonna fill your journal with preaching! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Simon, you're right with your thought,  we are the result of pure chance. And at one point in time we humans will probably cease to exist, but there's nothing you can do about that. So my choice is to reach something in my life time, and be happy. 

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you're anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu

Also i really recommend you to read "The Slight Edge", it's an excellent book about reaching everything in life you want. :)

Thanks for your input, and your inspiring words. I agree completely about happiness right now being the only thing that matters; in a billion years all your actions will have been forgotten anyways.

I'm definitely not living in the present then, since I'm either depressed or anxious basically all the time. 

Does it count as living in the present even if you are far away in your own fictive universe?

Funny that you mention the Slight Edge: I've already read that book twice, haha. But thanks for the recommendation anyways, it truly is excellent :P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2500 words! O.o and then you finished the day with Inception xD overload! But it sounds awesome!

Days of depressive thoughts and ambitions happen :/ keep it up man! You're on the right track :)

When it comes to humanity being created from chance I have a completely different perspective :D I believe in the Big Bang, but I also believe there is a Creator behind all of it, who made us the way we are, in his image, because He loves us! Without my faith and relationship with God I wouldn't have purpose in my life. But hey, that's a different topic :P I'm not gonna fill your journal with preaching! 

I've thought about the idea of a God or a creator quite alot, and I'm struggling to get my head around it. The intelligence required to come up with the idea of the universe is far beyond human imagination; what mind would be able to decide that a certain element called oxygen will have 8 protons and the element carbon will have 6, or that a certain baby will be born on that or this area of the planet? God's mind would have to be infathomably more developed than a human one. 

Actually, anyone declaring they understand even the slightest what God would be like is speaking nonsense, since, if God exists, he ought to be too complex for us to even glimpse the tiniest fraction of what he would be like. A God that people understand, that think and feel in the same way we do, would be no God. Because God should be perfect, and humans are fundamentally flawed.

It's hard to formulate my thoughts on this subject.

But essentielly, the randomness and unpredictability of everything is what disturbs me the most. To exist means to be chaotic and flawed in some way, and why would you create something that will be flawed? Why would someone ever set out with the intention of creating something that's imperfect? Unless that wasn't his intention, but that would mean he failed, resulting in God not being omnipotent at all, which isn't a very uplifting thought.

And if God created all this, he must've existed before the Big Bang, which means that that event wasn't at all the beginning of existance, and so, the universe we are able to percieve must be located inside another universe, the one where the creator resides.

IDK man, it's all too confusing. I'm not trying to deny your faith, not at all. In fact, I'm slightly jealous of people believing in a creator, since, when it's done right, it seems to grant you a sense of peace difficult to achieve through other means.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It absolutely gives a peace. I don't believe it can be done right though, it's a gift given to those who ask :)

And yes, for God to be God he must be unfathomable. You're absolutely right. My faith (Bible-based) is that God created us in His image, meaning we all have a piece of God in us. You could say we can "see God" by maling completing the puzzle in which every human being through all times is a piece. Also, Jesus revealed God.

We are flawed! Long story short: God ave humans free will and they chose to got their own way. All the evil in the world is a result of this. Evil and God are opposites, basically - because God is Love. He didn't want robots, so he gave us free will. He knew we would fail, but He was willing to take the punishment upon Himself (that's why Jesus came).

He was before the Big Bang. But something must have been, right? Whether it was God or "something", either way, it's unfathomable. This is hard to understand for eveyone, regardless of faith.

I just preached in your journal! Let me know when to stop :P Also these are big questions. Can't really explain everything in a short post, these are just fundamentals!

I think everyone think of these things. Bible says we our spirits are longing for Heaven. This is why we have a basic need of something to worship, whether it is God, a celebrity or myself. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Simon, you're right with your thought,  we are the result of pure chance. And at one point in time we humans will probably cease to exist, but there's nothing you can do about that. So my choice is to reach something in my life time, and be happy. 

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you're anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu

Also i really recommend you to read "The Slight Edge", it's an excellent book about reaching everything in life you want. :)

Thanks for your input, and your inspiring words. I agree completely about happiness right now being the only thing that matters; in a billion years all your actions will have been forgotten anyways.

I'm definitely not living in the present then, since I'm either depressed or anxious basically all the time. 

Does it count as living in the present even if you are far away in your own fictive universe?

Funny that you mention the Slight Edge: I've already read that book twice, haha. But thanks for the recommendation anyways, it truly is excellent :P 

Your own fictive universe could be just another way to escape life, if you're truly "living" there. But who am i to judge :D

Well that's great :) If i may ask, do you apply the slight edge in your life?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Simon, you're right with your thought,  we are the result of pure chance. And at one point in time we humans will probably cease to exist, but there's nothing you can do about that. So my choice is to reach something in my life time, and be happy. 

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you're anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu

Also i really recommend you to read "The Slight Edge", it's an excellent book about reaching everything in life you want. :)

Thanks for your input, and your inspiring words. I agree completely about happiness right now being the only thing that matters; in a billion years all your actions will have been forgotten anyways.

I'm definitely not living in the present then, since I'm either depressed or anxious basically all the time. 

Does it count as living in the present even if you are far away in your own fictive universe?

Funny that you mention the Slight Edge: I've already read that book twice, haha. But thanks for the recommendation anyways, it truly is excellent :P 

Your own fictive universe could be just another way to escape life, if you're truly "living" there. But who am i to judge :D

Well that's great :) If i may ask, do you apply the slight edge in your life?

I think I do. I have a quite a few habits that keep moving my life in a positive direction, but (as said in the book), they tend to feel so small and meaningless that they can't possibly matter, right? But I'll believe that they do, and keep doing them.

My biggest slight edge-action would be my writing. Since I want to become an author the single most important thing for me to do is write, and that I do every day. Hence the fictive worlds-part. :P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It absolutely gives a peace. I don't believe it can be done right though, it's a gift given to those who ask :)

And yes, for God to be God he must be unfathomable. You're absolutely right. My faith (Bible-based) is that God created us in His image, meaning we all have a piece of God in us. You could say we can "see God" by maling completing the puzzle in which every human being through all times is a piece. Also, Jesus revealed God.

We are flawed! Long story short: God ave humans free will and they chose to got their own way. All the evil in the world is a result of this. Evil and God are opposites, basically - because God is Love. He didn't want robots, so he gave us free will. He knew we would fail, but He was willing to take the punishment upon Himself (that's why Jesus came).

He was before the Big Bang. But something must have been, right? Whether it was God or "something", either way, it's unfathomable. This is hard to understand for eveyone, regardless of faith.

I just preached in your journal! Let me know when to stop :P Also these are big questions. Can't really explain everything in a short post, these are just fundamentals!

I think everyone think of these things. Bible says we our spirits are longing for Heaven. This is why we have a basic need of something to worship, whether it is God, a celebrity or myself. 

But, did something have to exist though? Stop for a moment and consider it. Simply because our human minds cannot imagine a world where nothing exists doesn't make it impossible; we are, as I said, limited in our thinking. 

Woudn't that be an image of perfect harmony, of perfect peace? A complete stillness, a complete nothingness. 

And do not apologize; you're simply answering my questions :P It's an interesting topic to discuss.

Whenever I consider implementing religion into my life, I feel inclined towards buddhism. I like the idea of the answers existing not somewhere out there, but inside ourselves. Maybe that's connected to what you said about a piece of God existing inside of us; maybe that's what we attempt to discover when meditating. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everything made from nothing is against the (current) laws of physics. We can't possible understand that. However, an eternal God or something is bizarre to us as well! What I find interesting though, is the longing for eternity we have. We do what we can do extend our lives, and maybe some day live eternally. Can this be because we were supposed to in the first place? Just a thought :D

I can see why Buddhism is appealing! We're living in a world of chaos. This life for eternity sounds less attractive than a life "at peace", for sure. Fortunately, the eternal life I believe in is a life much like this, just without pain/evil/suffering/you name it. As it was at creation. 

It's popular to choose the "religion that suits me the most" these days. If you're ever gonna look into religion, be more critical than that! :D Is it reliable? That being said, the Christian faith (complete forgiveness and unending love and grace) is the most suitable. There is nothing you have to do to achieve it + it is the most "rewarding".

Biased as I am, I find all religions to be fragments of the Christian faith. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@flingaas There's just a lot of stigma surrounding christianity; I can't avoid thinking of the crusades, the way they suppressed the development of science, the prejudice against homosexuals.

I suppose this is because of the human flaws though, not the religion itself. I'll consider it, since you presented your case so well :P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@flingaas There's just a lot of stigma surrounding christianity; I can't avoid thinking of the crusades, the way they suppressed the development of science, the prejudice against homosexuals.

I suppose this is because of the human flaws though, not the religion itself. I'll consider it, since you presented your case so well :P 

All the terrible things Christians have done (and still do) in the "name of God" can't and shouldn't be defended though! I'm just as discusted as you are! :( We ought to love, not to judge - end of story. That being said, atheists have killed loads of people too - it is as you say, not a religious, but a human issue. 

Let me know if you stumble upon something weird or stupid! (I sound like I have all the answers, LOL. I wish!)

Edited by flingaas

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Simon, you're right with your thought,  we are the result of pure chance. And at one point in time we humans will probably cease to exist, but there's nothing you can do about that. So my choice is to reach something in my life time, and be happy. 

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you're anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu

Also i really recommend you to read "The Slight Edge", it's an excellent book about reaching everything in life you want. :)

Thanks for your input, and your inspiring words. I agree completely about happiness right now being the only thing that matters; in a billion years all your actions will have been forgotten anyways.

I'm definitely not living in the present then, since I'm either depressed or anxious basically all the time. 

Does it count as living in the present even if you are far away in your own fictive universe?

Funny that you mention the Slight Edge: I've already read that book twice, haha. But thanks for the recommendation anyways, it truly is excellent :P 

Your own fictive universe could be just another way to escape life, if you're truly "living" there. But who am i to judge :D

Well that's great :) If i may ask, do you apply the slight edge in your life?

I think I do. I have a quite a few habits that keep moving my life in a positive direction, but (as said in the book), they tend to feel so small and meaningless that they can't possibly matter, right? But I'll believe that they do, and keep doing them.

My biggest slight edge-action would be my writing. Since I want to become an author the single most important thing for me to do is write, and that I do every day. Hence the fictive worlds-part. :P 

I'm sure sooner or later they will show their positive effects xD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 30: yay, a third of the detox completed. I was excited for this day but that feeling kinda disappeared.

Everything is moving so fast, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Wake up early, go to school, study when you get home, eat, time for your exercise. Activities everywhere, everytime. Hurry, hurry, hurry. 

I just want to push my feet down into the ground and scream for it all to stop; let me catch my breath.

It's not something I'm new to though: twelve years of school has hardened my stress tolerance quite a bit.

It's not that I don't enjoy the activities either - I do. But at a certain point, it gets to much.

 

Something I did want to do today was to sit down, reflect over how far I've come and how far I yet want to go, and put together some sort of plan, but since I'm too busy I'll have to postpone that for later.

I'm grateful for having come this far (30 days is my third longest time away from gaming... Yeah, I know)

But the streak is not stopping here. It's planned to last a lifetime.

 

Thank you, whoever is reading this, and have an amazing day. :D 

Edited by Simon E

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm grateful for having come this far (30 days is my third longest time away from gaming... Yeah, I know)

But the streak is not stopping here. It's planned to last a lifetime.

Awesome!! You go bro! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 31: We are still masters of our fate, we are still captains of our souls.

I've been experiencing this sense of anger lately. Not the black, toxic anger that infects you and drags you down, no.

An uplifting, empowering anger. Pure, concentrated energy, buzzing through my body, tingling deep in my stomach. An urgent voice in the back of my head telling me, screaming at me, to act.

Some day, when I am nothing but dust and wind, what will the world remember of me?

 

 

 
"Real revolution starts at learning.
If you're not angry, you're not paying attention."
- Tim McIlrath
 
 
Gtg, there's changes to be made

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 32: Today was meh, but as long as I do not die in my sleep, I have an invaluable and amazing opportunity to make tomorrow better.

 

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 33: I have a shit ton of studying to do, I've been bad at handling my time and also I'm not writing enough.

Conclusion: nothing new is going down.

Decent enough mood though, and I'm positive I can improve. I'm probably going to write some novellas or poems at the side, something light to take my mind of the novel for a while. (Any poem-writing tips, @flingaas? ;) )

No interesting philosophical theories today, I'm afraid. Yes, it saddens me aswell. Life is boring without philosophy.

Peace ∞ 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How much time do we waste on shit we do not care about, shit that doesn't make us or anyone else happy? Time that simply slips by, unnoticed. It's there, and then it's gone, never to be seen again, never to be remembered.

I caught myself wasting about 2.5 hours tonight, and it pissed me off. The anger was unproportional to the specific time wasted today (there's only so much you can do in 2.5 hours), but that doesn't matter. I got furious, really, at the concept of wasting time. 

The time we do not appreciate isn't a part of our lives. We are not living during those seconds, hours, days - we are dying.

I'm not going to waste one more fucking hour of my life. That is a promise impossible to keep, but I will do it anyways. 

That'll serve as the daily philosophical thought. Now I'm going to go and appreciate the shit of the time left before bed.

Night.

 

(yay, I just became a veteran, too. #100 posts)

Edited by Simon E

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(Any poem-writing tips, @flingaas;) )

(...)


I catched myself wasting about 2.5 hours tonight, and it pissed me off. The anger was unproportional to the specific time wasted today (there's only so much you can do in 2.5 hours), but that doesn't matter. I got furious, really, at the concept of wasting time. 

Take that anger and put it in a poem! :) That's what I do. I put my frustrations/feelings/thoughts on paper with a few rhymes :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(Any poem-writing tips, @flingaas;) )

(...)


I catched myself wasting about 2.5 hours tonight, and it pissed me off. The anger was unproportional to the specific time wasted today (there's only so much you can do in 2.5 hours), but that doesn't matter. I got furious, really, at the concept of wasting time. 

Take that anger and put it in a poem! :) That's what I do. I put my frustrations/feelings/thoughts on paper with a few rhymes :P

 

That's kinda how I work already, but thanks! :P I'll experiment a little

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 34: YO world. 

It's so satisfying to feel school going well, in almost every subject. I'm not quite certain of why I feel the need to perform well in school, since I'm not sure what I want to become. Probably because of my perfectionism - I feel terrible when I suck at something, or even if I'm not perfect at it. 

The only eventual goal on the horizon is med school, but as I said, whether I want that or not is highly ambiguous (is that the correct usage of the word? Well, it sounds nice). What I do know though, is that if I'm not going to become a doctor it's going to be because I chose not to.

Not because I wasn't intelligent enough. (Whether your grades in school actually properly refelcts your intelligence is a topic for another dicussion).

I'll indulge in this feeling of sucess for as long as it lasts, and wait bravely for the times of despair I know will come (we are talking about school, after all)

Life is well. Still not doing enough writing - I'll have to catch up during the weekend. (And so it'll end up with me writing 2000+ words in a row then passing out, lol)

Plans for the weekend:

- Write alot.
- Study alot. (Yay.)
- Create some sort of plan/vision for the future, a guiding light in the darkness that is my existance. (*cringe* sorry).

That'll be it for today. Actually had nothing of importance to say today, but I never say no to some journaling :P 

Au revoir, mes amis
 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Best tip I can give you to find a plan or vision is to try new things and commit to stick to them until you overcome the first resistance. This can give you some perspective on what you want for yourself. For me the coolest thing I tried was to start programming. Maybe you coud try that out for some time. IF you decide to I can give you some good ressources to start because I did a lot of research in this area. Just ask ;)

Maybe check there are some volunteer work positions a hospital. Then you can see how people are working there. You coudl also try to find people with working experiences in different areas and talk with them about there job. What are they actually doing on a typical day? WHat do they like about there job. What do they dislike?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@WorkInProgress Thanks for your tips!

I think I know what I want already, which may have not come across in my post. I want to become writer an author. But since there's no traditional education needed to write novels, I do not actually have anything to strive for when it comes to school. This is where my confusion lies.

I do not really dare to quit school and begin writing all day long, since that is a highly uncertain path.

Volunteering at a hospital is a really good tip, I've been thinking about that already (now I just need to find the time, and do it). 

And if I ever have any questions about programming, I'll look for you :P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 35: I've written quite a bit (± 1000 words), and I've also studied quite a bit. All in all, a good day. I do not feel particularly happy, but nor do I feel particularly sad. That's something, I guess. 

The novel is kind of progressing, even though I haven't really begun on the first draft; I'm still planning. I don't know if I should simply begin or if I should have a solid foundation before that. Something tells me that I will learn and improve the most from actually writing the damn thing, so I'll start soon. 

It will all work out. I have to believe that, both as a writer and as a human. If I don't, there is no point in trying at all.

It will all be okay in the end. 

 

"What one man can do is what any man can do." This is both inspiring and terrifying. 

Time for some well earned sleep. Peace.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...