Amphibian220

Just watched Cameron’s new video on lies that gamers use to continue playing. Man, I wan to go for a workout after seeing how much muscular strength Cam has obtained. It also seems to me that big cities aren’t as much fun as places closer to nature.

Is it stress induced eating Matt? When I’ve had an argument, I summarized the chain of events without any emotion (as factually as possible) on a piece of paper. I learned this from James Clear’s newsletter. I’ll tell you some things I’ve very reluctantly discovered and accepted: 1. Its ok to dislike someone’s behaviour 2. its ok not be liked by someone for being yourself. Hope you get better soon. One of Jocko’s tips is to be proactive or aggressive at work by default . He says initiative will cost you a little bit in the short term, but people will accept that you are the proactive type over time. This may be totally unrelated to your post. Im still close to passive by default, but that may be already changing.

Just read a news article about rising video game “athletes”. One report cited that mobile app downloads grew by 50 % and user engagement went up by 20 % during the pandemic. The number of professional players is predicted to reach 1.5 million by 2025 in India alone. Esports is still in its infancy surmises one “analyst”. I want to know who is subsidizing video games in these countries. Why are they doing it? Why not get out and practice football, or swimming, or anything that is healthy?

May I ask if you have tried this result oriented approach in the past? What was your experience? what is your take on Process oriented, identity oriented goals?

I don’t get it at all, this office work is seriously hurting my health (eye strain from computer work), I can’t see myself continuing this for much longer. It just isn’t worth it. So I have to move to a different job asap.

Exercise done, hygiene done, clothes done. Only need to make that application

Okay I'm feeling you there, Cameron has a very good video on this called “What to do with gaming nostalgia” see it nontheless. You shouldn’t look at that stage of your life with shame and regret. That’s not right, because that stage gave you something for lack of a better option, but you have come here with a purpose. If you wouldn’t come on here, you would’ve just continued, but you want a new stage in your life. Equally, you should not cling to a worn out option. Escaping into games doesn’t work. Its not really like you. I suggest you work on Cam’s respawn workbook and take notes of his videos. Watch one 10 minute video and take notes of it. Hopefully you will make a responsible decision in due time.

Delete that account! There is nothing more exciting than stepping on this path to recovery! Go, go, go!

“Power of habit” by Duhigg, Read one chapter a day and write down the summary of it in a notebook. Try to see how the book relates to your system traps. But share with us how it has helped you.

The hard tasks should be broken uo into simpler tasks.

@Ikar I needed to print out some documents, and the only thing I could find was a local gaming club. As i hopped into it, I immediately witnessed that unhealthy environment: young teens sitting in a dimly lit room, it is almost pitch black. The computer screens give off a strong contrasting glare that strains the eyes. These boys had very tired faces. Then the frantic nervous laughing and swearing that is so familiar in these places. It actually got worse from the times when i played. Back in my time the games felt rudimentary, you could see that it was just a game and you got bored after a while. Now it is fashioned to a point where the experience transitions to keep it interesting for as long as possible. I felt sad for these kids. I wonder if I could distribute pamphlets on a day off or do some sort of publicity to help these people.

@The_Creative_Quitter Dreaming has its purpose of course, But my issue is that i overthink matters too much. This rumination i have not found a cure for in the two years Im here. its not location or time specific, can happen anywhere. If i get myself busy, i still overthink the things im doing. I am amazed at BooksandTrees saying about not to being so hard on himself. I need to learn from his example

Welcome to GQ, I want to share an experience of mine in my early teens. Gaming progressed from being a temporary escape to becoming my main agenda over the span of a couple years. when my parents spoke of their concern, I did not perceive any threat to myself. Everything seemed in order, the grades were good, the friends were there. In one of those arguements I stated that “playing a videogame is the same as playing a sport or working. It requires the same kind of interaction” this provoked an already serious conflict. when was I caught in my own lie? They reasoned that with the amount of hours being put into the game, it would seriously affect my prospects and health. This drove the fear in me to a high level, but there was yet a barrier. life presented me with stressful situations which I did not at the time know how to solve. I had this scarcity mentality that: 1. help just isn’t going to come, or 2. help is embarrassing to accept. Accepting help is signaling weakness. Because stressful situations seemed unsolvable, it was better to forget them by playing video games. And video games are excellent at that. I hope that this experience may help you in understanding the psychology side of things.

I want everyone on the forum to give valuable information on what the gamer is least likely of. We can therefore construct a picture of what we need to be working on! My observation: a gamer is least likely to look after his clothes, keep them nicely ironed and neatly kept in the wardrobe. He will fall asleep in his work clothes because there wasn’t enough time to change. Come on guys.

Retrying Hacking programs. I will state before I go to sleep tonight: 1. I can refine, identify and achieve my specific goals. 2. I am able to become self-sufficient through introspection and discipline. 3. There is no harm in stating things as they are. Its no big deal to get embarassed, or turned away by respondents. 4. I will write one job application from today. I will use a PC for that. 5. I will not dream about succeeding because I haven’t got time for that. i need to work on these statements cause their exact wording can mean a huge difference for driving my performance . If I repeat them every night, thats 365 repetitions a year. If these catch phrases work in advertisements, they must work in personal development. Matt, How do you like this line: Game quitters, nothing will stop me from putting an end to those pipe dreams.

I’ve got mutiple important matters to solve regarding my career turn, what’s relieving is that I’ve got so many tasks in this stretch that I won’t have the time to dream. This forum slowed with a few regulars posting occasionally, I hope we do get to attract and help many more targets of this non stop gaming craze.

Slept well, exercised and revised my material. Finally wrote a prospective application for a job more reflective of my long term career aspirations and experience level. What I will try to do this week: call a spade a spade, have the courage to be disliked, avoid dreaming by acting out important goals.

I prefer to work with poorly functioning systems than try and replace them. When is a poorly functioning system worth replacing? You need to identify the prerequisites for a well functioning system, carry on using the old while you are building it up. You can’t switch to a new system without structural changes.

There are useful blocker programs for your iphone, laptop device. You can install them and get a friend to set a password without telling you. If this seems too convoluted, you can trade in your smartphone and get one of those old nokia phones. but this is only half the solution. Get some really good books to read and brainstorm what you want to become in one year’s time. If you don’t plan big, it just isn’t worth it. The plan must be concise, include measurable goals over different spans. The more you gain awareness of the necessary qualities for your goal, there will come a point when video games will lose their meaning to you. When that happes, you are recovering, you are no longer abstaining. But always eradicate triggers for gaming in your environment, even if you feel that you’ve recovered.

Hey @CoolMan29, you touch on very important issues in your introductory post! Welcome to game quitters. It reminds me of Jocko Willink’s explanation of the saying “You are your own general”. This is only part of the statement, “You are your own general , but you are the troops also” is the complete statement. Now you can command yourself to do something like go out and attend the lectures, but another contradictory order is diverting your troops! You said in your statement that you give preference to friends over your responsibilities. Why do you put friends against your education? You can have great friendships in something meaningful like education and sports. Friends never really interfere with your responsibilities unless you make the choices to cause interference. According to your experience, Are you living an urgent life or an important one?

Im not missing my sleep, workouts, revision. If I don’t miss that from tomorrow, I’ll get the necessary clarity of mind. I need to start actioning my important goals. I will do that from this evening. Just one thought through business offer.

Further advancement to that in life: being centered on your well defined principles and goals, not being dependent on acceptance from somebody. The unbounded desire to be accepted resembles those points that video games give to stimulate you playing further.

@BooksandTrees good catch Matt, What rallies me from failure to success is the pain of failure and also the strife to find meaning and not throw my opportunities in life.

Yes I’ve got a dream job, but I need to go through many tests to get there, but its well worth it. when I played games in the past, I had lost the habit of looking after my needs: I didn’t want healthy food anymore, or friendships, didn’t take interest in spending time with my family. The boundaries that any normal person should have were mostly erased. I’m worried because at the moment it still feels unnatural to defend my interests and speak out. This is all the more worrying since I started building a communication network targeted At getting praise and no criticism at all. People can sense this kind of thing. Its the third or fourth time that I was told I am working way below my experience level. Its a known system trap, just to selectively follow evidence that suits my narrative and purposely to avoid evidence that runs contrary to that. This is what gamers do at the beginning of their gaming habit. I need to test my boundaries soon, because I am just too soft.

@BooksandTrees This will only be possible with an internship. i had this moment of awakening when the way I was reacting to my difficulties started changing who i am. I started discussing issues of grievance when I understood that i had no security net, no back up plan. I was almost ready to strike that civil servant who was abusing his position. Then when I got into a different job, human contact went down, and that computer just makes me return to my old ways. When i try to start a discussion on an important topic, Im just told to do the work. Oversight is lacking, work is plentiful, but I don’t know if its healthy for me over long term.