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About DW1909X13

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  1. Log: 03-03-21 Mood/feelings: Tired & reflective Positive activities: Meditation Aim today: Get through today without gaming Day: 10/90 (start of day at time of writing) Journal entry: Main though this morning: 'I've managed to get this far. Don't screw it up now'. Really struggled this morning to 'get going' and as my wife has had to go out for medical appointment and shopping, I'm on my own in the house for 3 to 4 hours for the first time in ages. My first thought this morning was...'could have a little game session. no one would know and you've done so well to ge
  2. Log: 01-03-21 Mood/feelings: Irritable/grumpy Positive activities: Meditation & gardening Aim today: Get through today without giving in Day: 8/90 (near end of day at time of writing) Journal entry: Today has been toughest day so far. I've been grumpy and moody however - I've managed to stay off the games which is a huge win. Previously, its this point that I've given in for that 'quick' game. Anyway, just a brief entry today. Onto day 9...
  3. Log: 28-02-21 Mood/feelings: Bit flat/sluggish Positive activities: Meditation Aim today: Complete this week Day: 7/90 (start of day 7 at time of writing) Journal entry: This morning already feels like a challenge. I've got the urge to sit down and chill out for a few hours in front of a game. Most mornings I'm up at 6:30am - 2 hours before my wife, and I have to busy myself or else I'll do what I used to do. Wake up at 6:30 and game for 2 hours. So this morning, I've done a meditation, about to do a yoga class and just hope my mood this morning lifts. Not sleeping wel
  4. Log: 26-02-21 Mood/feelings: Positive Positive activities: Morning walk, meditation, gardening Aim today: Carry on with the mometum Day: 5/90 (midway through Day 5 at time of writing) Journal entry: A fairly light entry today because the weather is so nice here (for a change) that I want to be in it as much as possible. The voice in my head is quieter today and hasn't really spoken which is great. Definitely like this feeling - hopefully this is a preview of what is to come although I am sure there will be worse days ahead. Just have to hold on to this rare feeling as
  5. Hi Emily, You've done amazing to get this point and you should be proud of yourself. Take it one day at a time and I wish you every success. You've got a forum full of support here to help you get through. All the best,
  6. Log: 25-02-21 Mood/feelings: Reflective, grateful, little fatigued Positive activities: Morning workout & meditation Aim today: Get through today Day: 4/90 Journal entry: Firstly, thank you for your replies. It's a comfort just to know this forum is here but to hear from others is a great boost. The point RE seeing more being done - yes, I am currently thinking of ways that I can get involved and make some sort of an impact. This week I have started listing daily goals and its a great feeling to tick those off - at least I know they have a meaningful impact to my l
  7. Log: 22-02-21 Mood/feelings: Frustrated, Determined Aim today: Re-start ReSpawn 90 day challenge Day: 1/90 Journal entry: So, the time has come to restart my Respawn 90 day challenge due to gaming returning to my daily life. I'm not gaming for hours and hours a day, but it takes up a lot of my mental capacity, can impact my work and I've noticed that I get moody when I've not had a game at all during the day. I have a tendency to also hide my gaming habits from my wife as I feel guilty for doing it when I shouldn't. Why now? Following a hard year of COVID & lo
  8. Log: 12-08-20 Having to restart this process as I have had a wobble - I stupidly clicked on advert on phone and started playing game. I became bit hooked and even spent £20 on it. Realised this pm what I was doing and have now deleted it from phone and it has got me thinking... What are the practical steps to stopping ads, links and anything gaming related appearing on apps & internet browsing? Its got me wondering if the only thing to do is do an effective hard reset. Delete all accounts etc and start a new or maybe don't use internet/social media at all? Even if for a litt
  9. 10-Jul-20. So far, so good - Managed to stave off gaming for 7 days now. I've gone through the Respawn pdf and in process of deleting games/accounts. Just wondering what to do with console. We use it for sky app for movies mainly. Looking to delete game account and set up some sort of restricted account - otherwise just get rid of it for temptations sake. Makes me sick to think how much money I've burned through in order to get these achievements and to get that feeling of satisfaction back. I've realised just how much I dislike gaming now. I don't get the same feeling of euphoria or
  10. Today is 2nd July 2020 and I have relapsed into game playing several times over the last year. No matter what I do, gaming creeps back into my life and I am sick to death of it! I always have moments of weakness when I then go back to buying computer games and the inevitable occurs - hours pass, nothing achieved, mood lowered, anger and frustration builds at myself...you know how it goes. I woke up this morning and asked myself "what will it take? What would it take to get you to stop literally wasting your time?". I want to stop because I want to do other things, develop myself and reali
  11. LordArjuna, Hi - I'm doing ok thank you. Hope you are good too. As per my update its been hard few weeks but I will get there as I believe we all will. 30 years of gaming is damn hard to break but it sounds like an awesome plan to work on your own business! All that redirected time an energy will no doubt make it a success for you and you will feel so proud of yourself. Totally agree RE journalling - I have missed it and will now aim to complete it every day. Good luck to you aswell - I will keep an eye out for your entries-posts
  12. Its been almost a month since I last sat down to write on this journal and I have had to reset myself as I relapsed soon after my last journal entry and have been on and off since. Today is day 2 without gaming. I realize that honesty and accountability to myself is the only way I will give this up for good, so here goes. Why the relapse? Looking back, I feel like I took the easy way out to deal with some upsetting news. Basically, soon after my last journal entry, My wife and I have been told that its likely that we may not be able to have children as we both have fertility issues a
  13. Day 6. This has been a tough day to say the least. I’ve been having strong cravings to escape into a virtual world and its taking everything for me to resist. I feel like I am really struggling to keep perspective today. Our washing machine needed urgent repair and has taken a pro 5.5 hrs to fix (should have taken 30 mins), and I’ve waited in the house whilst this has been happening which has been frustrating for us both. My dog is desperate and whining to go out for run but I can’t, some clients of mine have not paid when they said they would – which has big impact on cashflow, a result
  14. The very best of luck to you! It sounds like you've taken that first hard step and can now look forward to filling the time with positive outputs instead like your studies or fitness or similar. You'll get through it and we are all here to support you
  15. Day 5. Finally sitting down to start my journal and I hope in doing so, will help at least one other person with this. The aim now is to take some time everyday and journal the experience here in the hope of finding the balance and perspective I feel I have been without for...well...ever really. The last few days I have done a lot of reflecting and its scary to think of all the hours, days, weeks and months I now feel I've thrown away for the last 25+ years. All that time I felt I was enjoying myself, achieving and succeeding, when in reality i was doing nothing at all and now, none of it