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NickScales

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  1. I lasted 25 days and relapsed for 4 hours, watched porn the past week and have done less work. It started when I felt pressure to go back to school but it’s a reality I have to face. My coding bootcamp is great but I’m not sure what I need to do. At a crossroads and need to think about it more. I want to get a tech job after my bootcamp as I think that would be the best chance I have to reach my goals. I don’t really know what to do. Need to ask a few people for advice and I think knowing how to code is a good thing. My life seems at an interesting spot rn. I’m honestly pretty broke and the only hard skill I have is some programming and sales. I should be able to use that to my advantage and have to keep pushing. The greats all started from this position!
  2. This is my twentieth day without gaming. It feels great and I am definitely making more progress towards my goals. I did watch porn today for the first time in a long time and I feel kind of shook by it. I’m not really interested in it and watched it as a reward but it didn’t really feel like one. I was making an excuse to see what it was like after all this time and I don’t think I’ll do it again for a while. I’ll probably have urges these next 4-5 days but after that I’ll be on to the greater blessing of life. Btw, life feels like the video game now. best, Nick
  3. It’s my 18th day. Still trying to figure out how to post in the daily journal but this is working for now! I’m feeling good. Getting more done and learning much more.
  4. My 17th day. I’m feeling a slight urge to get my feet wet in some other things. However I know I’m not interested. Putting a ton of things behind me and my life has definitely improved in the past two weeks. Very happy about it. best, nick
  5. Thanks Lemynaded!! I’m feeling so good right now I’m actually getting work done! It’s fun too - much better than gaming actually like life is just generally more exciting. So many emotions just waved over me! A nice fist bump for the current progress was definitely just made. best, Nick
  6. Hi guys It’s my 16th day of being gaming free and I am feeling solid. Sometimes I have an extremely large craving in the middle of the day but I push past it. I feel like my days are more full now and rich. Like I’m actually living and getting stuff done. It feels good and I want to keep living life this way rather than the old way. I want to keep chugging along and feel free! Hope everyone is doing alright. Nick, Shapoff
  7. 15 days. I’ve gotten a lot done and yes the cravings are still there however I am dealing with them. Feels better!
  8. Not sure if anyone is seeing this. I hope so as we can all do this together. It’s my 2 week anniversary of being game free! I feel a lot better and am make strides towards bettering myself. I’ve started coding again, reading, working out, up early, and generally feel better about myself. My mental health has definitely improved and I’m glad I’m doing this. I have to admit- the urges/cravings are still there and sometimes they come back strong but I’ve continue to preserve. We got this guys
  9. I feel like a relapse is coming. I remember when I was gaming I was actually interested in coding but something is stopping me right now. I have a high stress towards it like I can’t accomplish it and don’t even know where to begin. Im so lost and when I game I could forget about all of this. It’s been 12 or 13 days and yes my life has gotten better but these cravings are sooo harsh right now. All I want to do is game for hours oh my goodness. I need to get my work done. Enough of this. Here we go
  10. It’s Wednesday and it’s the middle of the week. I have to say I’m quite disappointed with myself. Although I haven’t relapsed- I am still trying to escape my situation via chess.com or other mentally stimulating activities. I’m having trouble programming and learning coding because the passion doesn’t seem to be there right now. This is kind of the story of my life where I have an insane amount of passion at the beginning of something and then it fades, and I fail to follow through. I need to be an executer if I want to reach my goals. Maybe I will start by coding for just 20 minutes and see where it takes me. Maybe if I start I won’t stop. But even now I doubt myself and feel the urge to go wash my face, read a book, and be in the same situation an hour from now. Letting time go by as if I have plenty of it. The longer I wait the longer it will take to reach my purpose.
  11. My thoughts of gaming actually aren’t there currently. This is interesting, however my depression is coming from elsewhere. It’s so interesting - when I’m not ahead of my work I am depressed and when I am ahead of my work I am happy. I need more work ethic. best, Nick
  12. This might be day number 8 or 9? im feeling ok. Other worries that we’re sitting there before gaming are now present. I’m not coding enough, I feel like I’m not capable of doing it. All these thoughts there were lost due to the gaming are now at the forefront of my mind. If I really focus on what I know I have to do my life will change. The gaming served as almost a blissful ignorance for what I really have to accomplish which is good! TIME TO FOCUS
  13. Deeply depressed and major urges today. Not sure what to do about it. Will keep pushing as I don’t want my life to go back to what it was before. Let’s go game quitters
  14. I’m still feeling a massive craving and am really just sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Actually so bored and feeling sad. The good news is that I know that if I played league of legends right now, it would lead to binging for 2-3 days on end.. then a possible relapse of porn.. and then a day of depression before I got back to my routine of 5:30am wake up, reading for 2 hours a day and coding for 2 hours a day. Trying to beat this 2 week cycle I’ve been facing for the past few months. Withdrawals hurt
  15. Went outside and laid in the sun for half an hour. Feel better but still mild depression is still there. Losing a part of your identity can leave a big hole I assume. Going to take a cold shower and workout. A lot of sun today and will most likely get sunburnt, however I’m pretty tan actually so hopefully not. This day shall pass and a better time will come. Thank you all for the support with this transition as it is very hard for me. Very hard. Hard work builds character.