Mettermrck

Don't be depressed about lost time. Rather, get excited about all the free time you now have to get things done and try new things! ?

Hi, Miguel! Nothing to be ashamed of, we all have sob stories which is why we're here. Where in the Philippines are you? I used to work in a banking call center and we had an overseas center in Alabang. You're in a great place to start turning your life around. ?

Day 70/90. Wow, in the 70s...feels so long ago that I started this process. I still have much to do and a long way to go. I forgot how powerful the soda/fast food addiction is. So much of my hope has come from giving that stuff up, controlling my eating, and exercising. Letting it go again, I hadn't notice those first tendrils of despair that were creeping back in, luring me back to that deep black out of hopelessness and isolation. I cannot give an inch on this one. There can be no compromise. I am committed to going all the way. I think of my hierarchy of addictions sometimes. As long as soda/fast food is on track, it's easy to keep porn on track. It's almost like a spillover effect. I'm surprised there wasn't any spillover into gaming. Maybe gaming wasn't the most powerful addiction...but still not something I want to mess with while these physical changes are ongoing. Field trip yesterday was fun. We all rode in a van for a couple hours to a naval base to get our access cards. One of my teammates was there and we were gabbing there and back. That was fun and made it a great trip. Sometimes I felt a pang when she'd talk about her family and married life. I'm not jealous...just a little sad about my own situation. But I know that will change. I just have to hang on. Gratitude 1. Good times with friends, just talking 2. The hope that losing weight and exercise gives me 3. The immense amount of money I save by not going out to eat, drinking soda, or playing games

Good to see you again, Moe. I think of you sometimes and have hoped you were still chugging along. And it sounds like you are...

Yes, I still struggle with the social. I actually dread the weekends more than work. And I don't like it when people around me talk about who they're visiting, what cool things they're doing. It's not easy. I keep fighting through it, knowing the changes I'm making will help me overcome my lack of confidence and isolation. Of course, I have to do my part too.

For me, I felt like I was tired...tired of the drama, the back and forth, the mental exhaustion, the attempts at moderation. I felt like I just....surrendered...to giving up. I said, "ok, I'm ready to give it up."

Welcome, eshi, you're off to a great start!

I wish I lived in your city, Vlad, I love admin office work and type like an inferno. ? Get some well deserved rest!

Brave man browsing steam haha. I've done it a few times but I know it's a big risk for me.

I tried listening to podcasts at high speed but then I felt like I was just shoveling more raw data down my throat. I've opted for fewer podcasts but good quality.

Yeah I think we all need to reset sometimes, recommit to your goals and redouble your efforts.

Sounds good, Pete, gaming not weighing on your brain. ?

You started over and you're back! That is awesome...you are strong for doing that. Glad to see you ?

I'm the same way..if I mess up on one addiction I tend to give in on others. It's all or nothing thinking that I battle.

Ah my bad. I'll make sure I don't miss your journal. ?

Those sound like some great goals. Hang in there! ?

I swear by that. A good start to your day can really affect your attitude.

I think it helps being around other people who struggle with the same things I do. Even though I might feel guilt or shame for relapsing, I can't project that on to someone else who has done the same thing. And in turn that reduces my own sense of failure. If that makes sense.

Thanks, @Vlad. That's what I was suspecting. When I drink soda, I'm not drinking the tons of water that I was and that makes the difference. So no excuses, back on the wagon! ? Day 69/90. Work field trip today so it's a more relaxed day today. Just going to get a military access card for our systems here. A bunch of us ride together in a van and it's an all day trip. I'm looking forward to the down time. Things are getting back on track with my other addictions. I should've known better about the sheer power of my soda/fast food addiction. It is so...inevitable, like cocaine. Whew. Maybe that'll change when I'm at my goal weight but right now it's just pure kryptonite. Stay away..don't even go near it. The gym was good yesterday. Each week I steadily up the intensity on the treadmill. It just feels so good. My body will give up its pounds! Gratitude 1. Laughing and goofing off with friends 2. My mother cares for me 3. Working hard at the gym

It's a process. At first, it's more about "not gaming". And then over time, as your interests revive and other activites become more stimulating, you'll start to find productive alternatives. Hang in there!

Yeah, I notice I've been trimming the types of movies and books I consume. I don't cut them out completely, I guess I "mature" them. I can't see you as a monk, Vlad, but you never know. ? Pax vobiscum, my son.

You did great, Zeeko, resisting a strong urge and trying new things! Have fun at the gym. I swear by it now.

Congrats on finishing the race...I can only imagine what running with 80,000 people must be like. Like an entire stadium running at once.

Good exercise to get bread. You burn off what you're about to eat. ?

What kind of training are you doing and losing power? Good job on your exams!