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Moe Smith

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  1. Day 71/90 (79% complete... until I increase my goal!) Day 0/90 (0% complete... until I increase my goal!) So today I'm resetting my counter. I'm being honest with myself and acknowledging what my behavior has been like. At the beginning of this journey, I stated I was going to cut out media that threw free dopamine into my brain. I have not been good with that goal. I have not picket up a controller or mouse to play a game in 71 days, that is very real. However, I let porn creep back into my routine. Twice in the last few weeks, I've been reading manga on my (previously) preferred ma
  2. @giblets! I love the Moe-gli pic, hahaha. I always felt very connected to the boy who was raised by wolves and climbed trees. There's lots of great symbology there for me. You're totally right! There are people in the world who suck, and there's not a damned thing I can do to force them to change. I have plans to change the general state of the world, which will teach those slugs of humans to be real people again. But that will come from an global mental/emotional shift that I create. They will eventually accept change in themselves and become better for it. But for now, can't do a damne
  3. Day 59/90 (66% complete... until I increase my goal!) Wow, I posted 8 days ago, and it honestly feels like it's been 2-3 weeks since then. So much has happened. Job Search/Work My job search is finally over!!!!! I feel like a dam of stress has finally broken and I can breath again. I know it was probably unhealthy to let myself so caught up into the money of how much I was making, but it was honestly not enough to keep me satisfied. I'm not a greedy person, but I know what I'm worth. I know I have an exceptional mind, an incredible skillset, and a stellar work ethic. Non
  4. Day 51/90 (57% Complete! ... before I increase my goal) Truly a quick update today. At work, my 9 month project is eeking ever closer to closing up! We completed some things this week that were vital to the launch of the new website and I'm extremely excited to finish things up. There's a few things that are still a pain in the ass though, one of which is unfortunately a coworker who acts like a 45 year old child throwing a tantrum. I was officially told I can't communicate with her directly anymore yesterday, which I find to be extremely stupid. As an adult, she should be able to
  5. Day 48/90 (54% Complete! ... before I increase my goal) Art Still reading a lot! I multi-tasked a bit on a large werewolf boss "mini". Took me about an hour, but I got the other half of him covered in Elmer's Glue. It's a 3D model made by a friend of mine, and it's PLA so there's lots of ridges. The glue helps smooth him out so it's not so topographical looking when the paint is on there. It felt good to do a little bit of that. Marriage My wife and I had a rough couple of days, where it seemed like we kept pissing each other off on accident. That's past us now, and
  6. Day 35/90 (39% Complete, until I increase my goal!) General I'm back and I'm still strong with no gaming. I've been crazy slammed at work, however, as we're launching a 9 month project next week and I'm essentially the most in charge on our side at the company. That was just a little FYI. Now onto the journal. Yesterday sucked. Yup. However, there's a silver lining for today. But you have to read to find out (I'm feeling snarky). Job Search/Pay/Promotion (Yesterday) I have been looking for a new job basically all year long. Sometimes
  7. To answer your concerns, I was doing pretty well since I graduated. Yes I went back to gaming, no I didn't let it effect my life too bad. I had a bit of a distance on it this time. I held it at a distance this time, and of course there were negative impacts/moments on my life, however, they were fairly minimal this time around. It was ultimately just the last piece of the gradient I've been making for myself over the last two years to remove gaming completely. My life is already feeling much better and I feel more like my true self these days. Improvement, production, real connection wit
  8. Day 13/90 (14% complete ... until I increase my goal), Work It has been a whirlwind of days recently. Early last week, I was slacking off at work pretty badly. I wasn't feeling any passion in my work, and I was just over it all, ready to move onto my next job (whatever that will end up being). Part of how I was slacking off, was watching Critical Role - Season 2 on YouTube while I worked. I've had plenty of days where this was a fine technique and prevented me from burning out over a long day's work. Last week though it turned into purely avoidance. Overall I justified my actions, b
  9. Day 9/90 (10% complete ... until I increase my goal that is), It's again been a few days since I posted. When I checked the journals page to start writing this post, I was happy to see that I was literally the last post on the page. It's great that the community is very active right now! I've had a duality type week so far. I was in a bit of a depressive state for Monday and Tuesday. I honestly didn't do very much work, and if I had a boss who kept a closer eye on me he would have been very displeased. Instead as I have a fair amount of autonomy I was left to my own devices and the
  10. Day 5/90 (5.6% complete! ... until I increase my goal that is), It's been a pretty busy few days since I started my new detox. I've been working, dancing, playing games with my family, and having a wonderful Father's Day today. I'm going to be brief because I have more life to attend! Things have been fast moving, but very very good. There are times when gaming is not even on my radar, and it feels great to say that. There are also times when I am tired and I just want to relax for the evening and I catch myself thinking I will play some games. It was a sad moment for me when I realized
  11. @James Good! You're pretty much spot on yes. For me, my passion fuels a lot of what I do in my life. But when I'm gaming, but passion drops to a drip. Therefore my fuel is non-existent and I mostly do the minimal required in life. I've got a lot I want to do with my life, as I've listed, and after some honest reflection I realized gaming was the right thing to change in my life so I can move forward. Some days it's all about revitalizing passion and living life, and some days it's just about sticking with it and behaving in the way I want to, even if I don't feel like it. It would be so
  12. Thanks @macpowers1! Having done it before is pretty nice at this point. It's one of the reasons I think I'm good to say "no gaming forever." Because this time I'm not focusing on completing the detox. I've already proven I can do it. That's a good question on the severity between detoxes. Each time it got less extreme honestly. In my last stint I swore off PVP games (specifically League of Legends) because there is literally no end to the amount of effort and time that I could put into it. Even if I was to become the best gamer in the entire world, then I would have to keep practicing to
  13. Here's my introduction post if you are interested in reading it for more context. Today is day 1/90 for my detox. Yesterday I wasn't feeling well so I decided to work from home instead of going into the office. That in itself isn't a big deal, my work is pretty chill about things like that. Instead of working my full 8 hours, however, I probably worked like 2.5 maybe? I was gaming the rest of the time. I justified it because my work load is pretty light at the moment, and I'll be able to make up the lost work this morning. I'm beginning that work right after this post + a shower.
  14. Well done on your recognition of needing change. The statement "I'm a gamer." has been in my mind for more than 2 decades at this point. It's completely terrifying to give up that part of my life. However, I've had some really good successes with quitting games before (much like you), and in reality it's more like I'm choosing to support the rest of my life, instead of just one destructive piece of myself. Stay strong, keep going. Let me know if you ever want to chat 1 x 1. Be kind to yourself, Morgan
  15. Hey man, Welcome to the group. This place is an incredible area where you can let that stress you're talking about go. Dig into the process and the detox. Be honest in both your successes and your failures, and talk about your journey with that new gorgeous wife of yours. I personally used League as my own poison and escape for 4 years. If you want to chat about that, let me know. I spent years climbing and being bound by my friend's expectations to keep playing. Best of luck. Be kind to yourself, Morgan