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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened


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  1. I compared myself too, to my best friend for couple years. I always though that he was "succesful", because he had a girl, a bike and a car, good grades in high school, had job and a lot of friends, he traveled a lot and did really cool things. Recently, when we talked about everything and anything, he shared some really bad situations that he had in his family and with his health. I realised then that I saw only outer shell of his life and didnt really aware what struggles he had without even mention to anybody. So I think the best way to compete is not with others, but with yourself, beat your own records, your weakness, flaws, because there are no identical personas that really comparison would make any sense at all. I'm glad that somewhat helped you :) best wishes
  2. That was very long, I think your creation of thoughts around gaming, life and your sense of self. You beat up yourself very often in this, are you aware of that? From this writing it seems, that you are person with sense in your life, you workout, you want to be good in art and you want to learn japanese. That are solid structures. Even the games that you pick aren't about 100% procrastinating, so you are making concious decisions. You are not wasting your time, you are going in certain direction. Perfectionist mind could, really f up your life. Without mistakes we do not grow (as muscles when you go to this one last rep of "failure" which ultimately it isn't really a failure if we all know what benefits gives us) mentally, the real mistake is when there are no mistakes at all, because everything stays the same. Beating yourself up could be worst for your body and mind than an actual problem. Thinking is just a processing thought and not You. It is a chemical reaction nothing more, it is not you. It is just idea (false idea often, because it involves comparision to others, whereas everyone is unique), that you deside if you believe it or drop it. I work with this to. And 99% it objectively isnt true but situations sometimes seems to affirmate this, but I always try to see this from wider perspective and it is hard. Keep it up, cheers
  3. Hi everyone, I have been active user till I am not really sure, I guess till september last year (I tried to check this, but I did not found my old posts), and I was not playing games till that time or even further. I remember that it was like 300ish day of absence to games. Now I play games every weekend again, but here is my story. I wanted to share it with you, because it is painfull sometimes to remind it, so maybe it heals a little bit my mind. I was having stressful job, but to counteract it, I was involved in lots of physical activites to calm me down. I was ignoring the fact that I could really change my job and make myself easier, but I did not do it. From september to december it was REALLY stressfull and I ended up very tired mentally and physicaly I could not sleep at night and my heart was acking really badly. One night I thought I was dying, because my heart literally would jump out of my chest if it could. The same day after couple of hours strugling with that I went to a doctor and EKG show that there are some electrolite disturbance, but my heart is fine. I was frustrated as hell, because It was horrible and doctor would not recommend anything for that and just sent me to cardiologist. For the first time in my work, I stayed at home. I started to play games and watching videos on youtube, because I could not stay calm. Cardiologist said that she cannot tell that my heart is faulty, but she asked me about my personal life and I told her all and she said that I should change my job and my problems should dissolve. Of course she gave me some medication to support my recovery, but the time between transitioning to other work was horrible. I could not sleep, my heart was pumping like crazy, and I went to doctor several times, and nearly everyone ignored me, saying that it is, because of stress and just reduce your stress... omg really? Thank you for great advice. I realised that I had none literally to help me. I talk about it with my relatives, but it was not good decision too. My good friend helped me to stay on this planet, because I wanted to die at certain moment. The day when I told my supervisor that I want to quit, was really changing my situation for good. For the first time in decade I cried like a baby saying how bad I was feeling in this job, I could not stop that, I was ashamed, but it felt good. At the end of conversation, for the first time in months my heart was calm as it should be. I realised that I'm going in the right direction. I had to work still couple of weeks before I transition. I found a job that I would really liked to do and I had a friend there, so I was certain that this job is not that stressfull as my own. I was really into staying in the present moment, because thinking about past and future, make me feel really bad. Videos with ekhart tolle really helped me to understand that concept. To make (already) long story short that was the best thing that I did in my life propably. I really like my job now, I am doing what I always wanted to do. My health is I could say stable, but sometimes (I guess due to adrenal exhaustion) I have this unpleasant bursts of fear, anxious, heart pumping, but it is really short and I can sleep relatively good. Usually I walk in nature to calm me down, I cook as healthy as possible and try to be in present moment, as often as I could. I play games on weekends now. I do not play from monday to friday. It is easy to me, because before I went 100% absence I was doing the same thing for a very long time. This one thing that really bothers me and frustrates me at the same time is that I really need to be carefull now in everything that I do. I could not excercise for now, because more intense work makes me feel bad afterwards. I need to sleep a lot more than everyone else. It is hard. I play even calm games to not get overly mentally tired because it could make me feel very bad afterwards. I dont drink alcohol and dont eat processed sweet things, because this get me ill pretty quickly. I am living sometimes like a monk and thats really strikes my ego, that everyone else is living their live and I'm just beeing. And sometimes it is hard for me to stop. I mean I have so much ideas to do and I do them, but most of the time I have to slow down to not get too much excited about something, because it could end up in anxious fatigue. I hope everything works well and I would come back to sports. If you read it so far thank you for your time and attention, cheers Chris
  4. Hello everyone, I just came up with idea of how to trick your addictions and have fun with avoiding it. It goes like this: you have to pick a stylish, funny line (just as a pick up line to start conversation with a girl) whenever you want or whenever someone persuade you, to do something, you are addicted to. It must be catchy to instantly make smile on your face and/or the face of person who persuade you. I will give some examples: Someone invites you to drink alcohol. You want to hang out with the person, but you do not want to drink. So you say with a very serious tone: "Not today! Gotham needs me I need to be sober" or my personal tried out on several different people (always worked well and puts a smile and a little awkward conversation later on): "I can't. I have alergy on hop and beer-o-fobia" [I swear in Polish sounds better!] You can make personal challenge. No surfing on internet on mobile phone and no videos. Whenever you want to go to your cell phone, tell to yourself "Don't call me, Zordon". Hardcore participants could say this loud and in public, and throw awkward, serious look to the left and to the right. And finally whenever you want to play, pick your favorite marvel/dc hero and say something lik this: "Batman is watching you" and instantly look in all directions to spot him. I guarantee you if you do this with final movement you at least smile a little, and it will be easy to let go Tell me your thoughts and pick (up) lines
  5. I just wanted to say that I found a girl to accompany me on weeding. I was surprised that weeding was pretty fun and I talked with lot of nice and intelligent people, I danced with the girl and bride and other girls/women. So much fun despite the fact that I am introvert. If I read this in future (maybe you will take this advice too :)) I just wanted to say that I strongly suggest to find someone to go with on weddings! No matter how many rejections you get, you will interest invited persons and maybe these girls will take the consideration to ask YOU to be their partner! One of them asked me how was on wedding couple days after I guess, just from curiousity. From the wedding until now I had very nice and calm days. Lots of cooking, climbing, excercising. I have forgotten how to play games, litterally. I don't even know what are new games atm and I do not really want to know. I found my writings on paper about how I feel after long gaming sessions, way before logging my days to gamequitters forum and according to them I felt terrible. So I dont want to go back to this. Wish you the best. Chris
  6. @Mettermrck I guess most of gamers have this in common. For me and I think for several (or maybe most?) other people is the rejection thing. When I get rejected I tend to isolate and that leds to lack of confidence later on, because I do not try, because of rejection and so on. It gets even worse if you just do not do anything. I think eventually it will be better for us if we try Recently I felt pretty good. My bell pepper is still growing, I have learned some new recipes which requires juicer and blender, new tastes have been introduced to my kitchen skills. I really liked RPGs games propably because of statistics and aquiring new skills after beating some monsters, doing quests, so I had to have figure something similliar to this. In terms of statistics I have started to use cronometer. Its app that tracks your every single vitamin, mineral, carbs, fats and protein that you take while eating food. My quest for every day is to fill every RDA to 100% by eating normal healthy food only, by far it is amazingly satisfying. I am constantly discovering new super-rich foods. And my life literally is RPG in terms of skills I'm learning new gymnastic/calistenic movements swimming and climbing, although the last one I neglected recently. In terms of relationship and friendship it is pretty a linear non-progressive aspect of my life. It is not improving. The only thing that I tried is have a meetings with the girl that I mentioned earlier. It ended too soon that I would even imagine, but I will go to my collegues wedding so maybe I will meet someone new there. Little EDIT: yesterday, because of wedding I started to write invitations to girls on facebook that I have in friends list to be my partner on wedding. ATM I get 5 rejections so far due to various reasons: mostly absency on that day. Well, needless to say I'm not pretty happy about it, but it is was it is. I will try anyways. I got that on my worst scenerios, but I guess that is how it looks like when you do something that you didn't do for so long. Progression in every aspects of life is slow, but I do really enjoy them. I am very gratefull for them. Hope you are having a great days, Cheers Chris
  7. You took very good steps to overcome it! I did the same and in addition to this, for some periods of time, I was deleting recommended gaming related clips that Youtube was serving me, because I was always tempted to click them. After like 2 weeks Youtube looked like censored version of this stuff Keep it up Eli! Cheers
  8. @Mettermrck you hang in there too! You give a lot from yourself to everyone here, you are a very good man. I am still feeling lonely. I cannot sleep at nights because I have different feelings on my mind. Poking in the back of my head. I socialize the most in my job. Now I have couple days off and although I do not want to go to work per say, but I would go there just to talk with people. The girl that I met, do not want to talk with me anymore. She literally said that. That crushed me inside. I am feeling anger and sadness at the same time. And I want to play games really bad, but I am constantly saying that it will get even worse (I watch Cam's video "About to relapse? Watch this") and I do not play. And after all of this I cannot feel the power that I was feeling back then when I quit gaming. Now it is just... life. Have you felt that way before and somehow you change that state by doing something? I am looking for advice about that, because I do not feel anything. I mean sometimes life is really exciting, but sometimes I force myself to be in SOME state of my emotions (I mean anger, sadness, happiness, fear, excitement). Sometimes it is so ambivalent for me, that I do not really care what am I doing and I try to go on autopilot, to just rush through the day. That is not what I wanted to do. Yeah I am gardening, playing on harmonica a little now, I excercise, I cook a lot and try different things, but funny thing is sometimes I miss this level up thingy. This fireworks and nice melody, when you gain a new level. This one point to your statistics that never vanish even if you do not play for a while. You now, accomplishing very big things in a short period of time. Like beating up some end-game boss after a "long" 1-hour battle. Every NPC is cheering you, that you saved them and all this bullshit storys about the fact. that none ever done that. But no, the biggest thing that I miss is social interaction, I guess even with NPC. I miss the reaction to my deed. I guess it pops up in my head soon after the girl said that she do not want to talk with me anymore. She was honest I appreciate that, but still it is multidirectional mental strike that now I must to deal WITHOUT gaming. Loneliness is my Achilles' heel and I am really bad in making new, long-lasting friendships. Hope you are having better time than me right now Cheers Chris
  9. Hey, @Mettermrck if you are thinking about cooking you should check term "food pairing" it is a very fun way to feel the taste of very weirdly combined foods! And it is an awesome way to twist your attention out of games. It was mentioned in Cam video named "How to Stop Binging and Compulsive Behavior | with Samantha Skelly" that whenever you want to play (for example) you just want to change your (emotional/physical/sensational [that is my interpretation]) state (5:30 in the video). Hope you will find your favorite "thing". Recently I'm feeling lonely. I met a girl while ago, but she is making trips right now, my best buddies had to go somewhere too so I had none to go out for the moment. I decided to play on some instrument. I thought for a while what will fit me perfectly. I like to go out in nature so something electric doesnt fit for that and also I do not want nothing big, so I decided to buy a harmonica. I like slow blues songs too, so I think it is a good choice. I bought it, but I was tricked by shop owner. He said that harmonica in tone E will be good for start so I believed him. Then I read that tones B and E, aren't selling that often and they ARE NOT recommended for beginners, I was pissed. And yes, all the tutorials are made in C so when some play something and I want copy/paste this it doesnt sound anything like that. I was really upset and angry. I will buy harmonica in C anyways and will se where it goes. I uploaded an image of bell pepper growing, hope your like it
  10. Zgadzam się, lubie czytać/oglądać przekaz wartościowy, ale blog to jednak blog z jednej strony nie mogą to być tylko luźne opisy, a z drugiej samych informacji też tam nie wrzucisz, bo stanie się z tego druga wikipedia Jestem fanem videoblogów o żywieniu, ale najbardziej podoba mi się jak ktoś je przeplata z podróżami, nawet lokalnie do jakiegoś jeziorka czy małego wodospadu. Fantastycznie się to ogląda, człowiek się czuje taki zrelaksowany, a jak taki jest to lepiej się chłonie wiedzę z takiego bloga i automatycznie jakoś zostaje w głowie blog XY = przyjemność, spokój = wartość edukacyjna. I chce się oglądać Też mi chciałoby się zagrać. Mówie sobie wtedy, że w końcu postanowiłem, że nie będę grać, więc nie mogę o tym myśleć, ale czasami jest ciężko, nawet to nie pomaga. No, ale trzeba się trzymać. Pozdrawiam
  11. Yeah I don't like flowers either @Vlad I searched Virginia Creeper to see what is this. Looks good for fence covering for sure. HEY, thats awesome in that manner you CANNOT forget to take care about it and will be just fine and even better when you do nothing with it. This is a win win situation!
  12. Cześć Leszek! Jeżeli piszesz na blogu tak lekkim piórem jak tutaj, to pewnie znajdziesz sporo czytelników. Jestem ciut młodszy od Ciebie, ale moja historia też sięga pegazusa i gier podobnych do gameboya (pamiętam monochromatyczne tanki). Dasz radę! Zresztą pomyśl sobie, że przed Tobą conajmniej 67lat życia , a pozatym tak jak mówisz: I to jest najważniejsze! W kupie siła Pozdrawiam!
  13. @Mettermrck Wise words there. You always have choice to do what it needs to do, to live as you want and to be happy. If you go in the right direction, as you said "whatever happen, happen". As always thank you for your support. In the past two weeks I had some major issues to conquer. Had some health problems, job problems and had bad feelings in myself, but I started to be more present to the moment. Started to think less, observe, listen and feel more. I have started my new hobby which is gardening. Funny thing is, I live in residential block and I do not have garden, so this hobby would not stand a chance, when I played games I would pick some obstacles to not do this, but since I do not play games I decided to not hestitate. I have started gardening on my balcony. I decided to pot up bell pepper! One week later after doing this I see some small green plants growing out of the ground in pot. They look awesome. I will build small glasshouse later on Still have some dreams about playing and having this feeling of letting myself down in no-gaming journey, but then I wake up and it is fine. Since I am more present, I get my thoughts clearer and mental fatigue has gone. Cheers Chris
  14. I realized that today is actually 90 days since I started my journal. My goal is accomplished, but I won't celebrate as much. I'm happy about that, but I do not want to go into euphoric state about that. In my mind, I wanted to accomplish a life time absence from games. The 90. The number was just to trick my mind that, it is not so long to do so, but I know now that I do not need to trick it now. I am not saying that I'm completely free, nor that I will never go back to gaming. I have still dreams at night about me playing games, which is really confusing, because I do not want it, when I am awake now. There are still "dangerous" situations such as ads with game trailers or generally talking about games, which triggers sometimes my memories. My goal is to avoid them, to do what I love despite the fact that it would be hard sometimes, to be thankful for all the good things that happened to me, to be aware that every bad thing eventually leads to a good thing, listen more and be more empathetic and finally work hard for all your goals, because I do not really know, how much I am going to live. This is maybe not enjoyable topic to speak, but we will eventually die. It could be due to a natural death or due to other circumstances. There are so many people who commit suicide oh my God. I do not want to fear myself about that, nor some readers here. I just wanted to say that I want to live to the fullest, then I must to realize that life is short and eventually it will end. I want to use every day - literally EVERY DAY to be more happier, to be better at cooking, at exercising, at realizing that there are so many things that I want to explore, to visit, to experience, to touch, to hear, to see, to feel, to be present in todays moment, to be aware what I am doing, to know which direction I am heading. When I played games, more than a half of this things does not even bothered me and I do not want to go back to this state! I literally do not have second life. I just felt that I need to write all this things. Maybe I will need this in future, so I wrote it here in my dairy as some sort of reminder. I will continue to write some of the ups and downs of mine, because it is a form of exercise to my brain to stay in that state of no-gaming and I really want to stay here. cheers Chris
  15. YES. Actually that was my realization too after a while, that I was pretty bad in game called LIFE. And I realized that I will play my game till the end of my life (I'm the character of this super realistic RPG) so I have plenty (relatively speaking - we do not really know, how much we are going to live) of time to develop my best skills and it is said that to master certain skill you need "only" ten years, which in the span of life are not that much of a time. I like the whole painting. In my opinion good hand-made painting cannot substitute the one which was created in photoshop. Looking forward for your drawing Best wishes
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