Piotr journal

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Posted

Journal entry #1

57 day of detox

Hi, I've posted my journal a bit late than started my detox, I don't event know why, maybe I had to have time to grow and change to join community. Anyway, I started detox because when i looked back at my life I realised how much I lost because of gaming:

  1. Love. I gave up on the love of my life, although I'm with other girl now, I know that escaping to games, instead of taking care of my relation, was a major failure in my life.
  2. Money. It's easy to complain about lack of money, that it's not my fault that I was borned in family where money was an issue, but it's my fault that I was gaming, instead of getting a job.
  3. People. I've lost contact with my friends and become anti-social.
  4. Time. We can't turn time to change all the things that happened. There is no going back to this. I can only change the future for better and I will.
  5. Myself. Because all of the above...

I was browsing the internet when I found Cam TedX talk and the next video in suggested section was "90 day detox" . I thought about it a few days and started it. At first, it was hard not to play. If gaming was my whole life, then what to do without it? Cravings were strong. I've started to fill my time with workouts, reading, learning and taking more interest about things that surround me. All of these seemed pointless at first, but in time, with consistency, everything started to have sense and bring results. Now I don't even feel cravings, except one, to change my life for better.

Now I try to NOT to feel sad about loosing a girl, friends, time, being kicked out from university, because those are only valuable lessons which I should remember, but should NOT feel depressed about loosing them(that would lead to nowhere, or even worse, to gaming). Those are things that shaped me, a man, which wants a better life and goes for it.

That's all what comes in my mind today(I was never a talkative type of person). More will come in time.

Greetings, Piotr.

 

 

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Posted

I'm so glad you decided to post here, and I'm even happier than you've come so far. Life can be really hard and we all make mistakes. All we can do is support each other and try to make our lives better. You are doing great so far and you've got all of us here to talk to when you need to. Congratulations on 57 days!

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Posted

Super proud of you man! Keep going, this is only the beginning.

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Posted

Wow you are a big inspiration! Keep it up ♡

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Posted

Journal entry #2

58 day of detox

Hi again :) In the beggining, I would like to thank you guys for all the support, it's really helpfull. Secondly, I would like to take into consideration a thought that is on my mind since last few days.

I don't even think about gaming anymore, since last two weeks I stopped even looking at games&tech section in my favourite news website. I can feel the power of detox, cleaning me from urge to play. But, what came into my mind, was that, I'm not really productive. Although, my progress with detox came even further than I previously thought it wil, I found out that I fill my time with activities which were good at begging to drag me away from games. Now I feel that they need to be something more than time-fillers and turn it into results-bringers. I need to progress in my detox and go into next stage(BTW. Doesn't that mean that my mind is rewiring from games into hmmm... life?). In example, I spend whole yesterday evening by watching three new episodes of my favourite tv series(20 minutes each) and then, before sleep, I watched 2 hour film which I already saw. Thinking about it today, I feel that watching this repetition was waste of time, also I realized that when I'm listening to music, I'm just sitting next to my laptop mindlessly browing the internet. Thus, I thought about new activities, which will actually bring something into my life.

  1. I've signed up for driver license course, allowing me to drive trucks(in my country there is a seperate driver license class for cars and trucks). This will help me to change my place of work to hometown and get better job.
  2. I'm more focusing on learning how to create websites. I was talking with my older brother in law, and asked him If he have any ideas for a side job(when I was at the begining of my detox, looking for activities). He is a web developer and said, that he will help me on getting side projects, which I could do in my home, if I learn programming. This, can give me more money and alternative, if something will went bad with my current job. I'm currently in half of the HTML course. I'm gonna post in this journal about my progress to keep track of it.
  3. I also need to regulate my current activities, to get more from them, through consistency. From today I'm planning to spent 30 minutes daily(monday to friday) learning for my studies. Read, at least a chapter a day of some book(not connected with my studies). Also, I need a physical training plan(I will get it this evening), to change my thinking from "maybe I will make some wourkout on bars today"(which leaded to excuses to make it tomorrow) to "today is a bars workout day".

That came into my mind today. I hope to make it a part of my life and add more into future. Thank you for reading :)

PS. I ordered "Resilience" advised by Cam, which will certainly bring some positive view into my life. But, what do you think about reading fantasy books(since I was always liked fantasy)? Wouldn't it be a waste of time?

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Posted

This is great progress, Piotr, because you spent time typing down a strategy, it's a skill that you're good at, as far as i can see.  I don't think reading fantasy books is a waste of time!  I mean, it's the same as watching a movie.  Although, if you watch 8 movies in a row for the entire day, and ignore everything else you have to do, then there's a slight problem...hehe.  So, it's really about moderation, and being mindful.  It's really easy to get lost in a good book, fantasy or not.  Plus, the good thing about fantasy books is that it engages your imagination.

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Posted

Love that book. Really helped me a lot. 

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Journal entry #3

60 day of detox!

 Two months passed since I stopped gaming. If someone three months ago will say to me "In a month, you will not game anymore and it will be your own decision" I would laugh at him. I can't belive how far I've come. At first, I thought that I will relapse a few times and I would have to restart my detox, but it seems that my willpower is a bit stronger than I think. I hope to keep it this way. Also, seeing my progress, gives me a lot of confidence for continuing my mission.

But the progress, should not make me feel safe.

By reading others journals(thank you all for sharing with your experience), I found out a pattern which doesn't apply to all cases but it repeats in like 30-50% of the journals. (Usually it happens around 50-60 day of detox, but again, it depends on person, I remember that there were people which get this point at 30 or even 90 day, in both cases it's completely OK as long as you fighting, cause process of detox varies, depending on many things) When someone gets past thinking about games and his cravings are so weak that almost gone, he decides to get more results from his actions. To change his activities from the ones used to drag away from games, to ones bringing more results(I refered to this in my previous journal entry, that's why I kept eye on this, in others journals, because I think that this also affects me and can bring me information, on what to expect in the future). People at this stage, usually gets past, rest of their detox easily, but then few weeks later, they write about a relapse. My first thought was that, it happens because people try to get too much of their lives, getting too many things to handle or falling into routine of their daily schedule. But on second thought it's feeling too safe which made them relapse. Finishing detox, getting better results in life, improvement in social skills, this led to feeling that everything is fine now, that I left behind my bad gaming life. Unfortunatelly, demons of the past will come back, sooner or later but they will. Of course they are weaker at this stage(we make them weaker), but they still exist.

I wrote this post, for me 30 days later(and so on), when I reach 90 day detox. Because "90", it's only a number and the willpower is the real game-changer, or rather life-changer;) 

Future me, remember how games destroyed your life, DON'T GET BACK TO THIS.

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Posted

Great work man, congrats on 60 days. 

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Posted

Thinking can be hard. But even though you're doing and inspiring future me to stay away from games and be more cautious. Good job!

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Journal entry #4

62 day of detox

I'm forcing myself to write this, to keep consistency. I'm fighting with procrastination and trying to keep up with my goals, set earlier. I've set up meeting with my driving license instructor for tomorrow, to talk about start of my course, I already got all the papers, because of that I see progress in first of my goals. Second goal, I'm also considerating kept. For three days I've spent at least 30 minutes on learning HTML and after wrighting this I'm going to continue my work. Unfortunatelly, I'm not satisfied with my third goal. It wasn't done because I was helping at my mothers house with housekeeping, but this doesn't explain my procrastination in the evening where instead of learning, reading and doing my workout, I've procrastinated watching youtube, tv series and browsing the internet.

To sum up: Consistency and actions, are now main things happening here.

Greetings, Piotr.

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Posted

Awesome to see you're moving forward Piotr! Just like we spoke yesterday. Time to thrive!

 

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Journal entry #4

62 day of detox

I'm forcing myself to write this, to keep consistency. I'm fighting with procrastination and trying to keep up with my goals, set earlier. I've set up meeting with my driving license instructor for tomorrow, to talk about start of my course, I already got all the papers, because of that I see progress in first of my goals. Second goal, I'm also considerating kept. For three days I've spent at least 30 minutes on learning HTML and after wrighting this I'm going to continue my work. Unfortunatelly, I'm not satisfied with my third goal. It wasn't done because I was helping at my mothers house with housekeeping, but this doesn't explain my procrastination in the evening where instead of learning, reading and doing my workout, I've procrastinated watching youtube, tv series and browsing the internet.

To sum up: Consistency and actions, are now main things happening here.

Greetings, Piotr.

Sometimes that's what you have to do. Commitment is more important than procrastination!

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Posted

Journal entry #4

62 day of detox

I'm forcing myself to write this, to keep consistency. I'm fighting with procrastination and trying to keep up with my goals, set earlier. I've set up meeting with my driving license instructor for tomorrow, to talk about start of my course, I already got all the papers, because of that I see progress in first of my goals. Second goal, I'm also considerating kept. For three days I've spent at least 30 minutes on learning HTML and after wrighting this I'm going to continue my work. Unfortunatelly, I'm not satisfied with my third goal. It wasn't done because I was helping at my mothers house with housekeeping, but this doesn't explain my procrastination in the evening where instead of learning, reading and doing my workout, I've procrastinated watching youtube, tv series and browsing the internet.

To sum up: Consistency and actions, are now main things happening here.

Greetings, Piotr.

Hello Piotr,

I don't think you should beat yourself about not completing your third goal, you wrote that you were helping your mother instead and this is great, I guess helping a loved one is much more valuable than sticking to the plan. You should not follow the plan blindly, it is only as a guideline, and not law written in stone ;) It would be a bad thing if you told your mother that you would not help her because you have to complete your plan. I am sure you definitely chose the better part :) Sometimes I got the impression that the whole detox and the hunt for new hobbies is too self-directed, like thinking about ourselves and how we are going to please ourselves without games, while using the time freed from games to help others would be much more beneficial and I guess would make much sense. Why stop doing something you enjoy like gaming only to replace it by some other hobby? -> seems rather pointless to me. But to stop playing in order to e.g. do some voluntary work, help with the housework, it makes so much sense and it is more motivating because we do something for another person. I guess it was rather a rant and not directly related to your post.

As for your earlier question about reading fantasy books, I also love this genre though I usually try to read it in English, and to be honest I consider reading fantasy in my native Polish a little wasteful. Same with TV series and films, if you do it in English (or any other language you are learning or want to keep from disuse), you can turn something which is mindless entertainment into a learning experience. This is particularly good when you have little contact with the foreign language of your choice in your daily life and work. I studied English but if it hadn't been for English-language books and TV series I would probably have forgotten much of what I learnt by now.

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Posted

just noticed the html thing.


In case you haven't heard about this yet and want to see something cool: google bootstrap (also github, nice place to store your projects)

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