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Journal entry #8

70 day of detox

Round number for my detox. I've started my driving license course for trucks, today. It was a great experience to drive a lot bigger "car". Also, just finished a talk with my accountability partner @hycniejsy and as always, lots of thoughts came into my mind, that I don't even know how to write all the things, so they won't be too chaotic and without repeating knowledge gathered here. Anyway, I thought about my detox, precisely first days of it, why they were so easy for me, where other people had real struggle. Then I found out that when I was gaming, certain game mechanics I've applied into my life. When I was playing social game, I've become more communicative in real life, when I was playing quick dynamic games like shooters, I've started running and physical activity in general, to bring pulse of action into my life. Finally, when I've played game where it was all about gaining more money, more items, more skills, I've wanted to apply this to my life, so I've started detox, to gain in my life same in this game...

Did any of you noticed things like this? Games almost like merging with lifes? What do you think about it?

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Journal entry #9

72 day of detox

Days like today, reminds me how fragile our lifes are. How one mistake, changes whole life for good. Time passess, and there is no turning back, portion of your life becomes a past, experience and memory. Sometimes, the only thing I want, is to sit still and watch how beautiful world is. Stop worrying, stop analyzing, stop reminding, stop thinking. Just to be calm, see the beauty and feel peaceful.

Today is my birthday. This happens every year(that's why I don't take it as something big ;) ), but this particular one I want to remember because this opens better life and not another game.

I am changing my life for better.

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Thank you all for your kind wishes :)

Journal entry #10

74 day of detox

Finally, I've got my hands on Resilience by Eric Greitens (one of books advised by Cam). At first, I've started reading with a pencil, to underline meaningful for me sentences, but then I've realized that it's pointless. I've never read so life-wise book, since Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo six years ago. This is what I need right now, because I'm lastly struggling with that memory(or rather feeling) from games, where I am the saviour, saving others, worlds even, where I'm the hero, I'm the world guardian. Game stories gave me that feeling that I'm needed, essential to make everything right, that I have to do something important and that's what I'm doing.  Where in real life, there is no global cataclysm to be stopped. Not everyday is filled with adrenaline and heroic actions. I'm not needed in the way games made me feel. That was just developers trick, to hook me into the game, by giving this unreal feeling, possible only to achieve in virtual worlds. Previously mentioned book, although I've already read like a quarter of it, showed me that real life counterpart of this feeling is success in our goals, preceded by everyday hardship, and that life is not about making change but everyday changing for better. And that's something I'm going for ! ! !

Lastly, I've neglected my journal consistency a bit, writing only importants things that came to my mind. I forgot that journal, is not only for really sophisticated entries but also to keep track of my activities. That's why I think that everyday needs a summary.

Yesterday summary:

  1. I've read a book
  2. I've mown the lown at my mother house
  3. I've traveled with my girlfriend, to the nearest lakes, it's funny how sometimes we don't realise how beautiful world is right beneath our houses(unfortunatelly, wind was too strong for kayaking and water temperature is too low for swimming :( )
  4. Done my workout.
  5. Kept my healthy diet habit of eating at least 5 meals a day(I need to gain some mass, cause I'm skinny). Too bad that one of this meals, wasn't so healthy(cheeseburger and energy drink.

Thank you for reading! :)

Greetings, Piotr.

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Journal entry #11

75 day of detox

Nothing much to write about, some goals were kept, some not. Again, few thoughts came to my mind, on what I could do, but most of them are unreachable for now.

Yesterday summary:

  1. Continued reading Resilience
  2. I was learning for my driving license course
  3. Met my cousin
  4. Spend some time with my girlfriend(went out for a walk + watching movie)
  5. Missed one meal
  6. Haven't learned anything for my studies(procrastination again)
  7. Meditated
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Journal entry #12

79 day of detox

Lastly I've kept my goals, very well. I'm even impressed, that it's getting easier for me to study instead of procrastinate. Although I found out that my activities are a bit of "closed circle", it's working great for detox, but I think that sometimes I need to try something new, instead of repeating same activities. Maybe not even something new, but something which I haven't done in a while. I will have now a bit more to study, because semester is coming to an end, but somehow I need to reconcile my duties, with my personal growth and relax. I am also willing to focus more on this community, to gain more of yours experience and share mine. If not you guys, I will be probably at the bottom again, it's hard to say how grateful I am, so I think the best way to do it, would be to express it in returning support and wisdom.

Have a great day! And as always, thank you for reading.

Greetings, Piotr.


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Journal entry #13

84 day of detox

I haven't posted lately, that's because I was busy in my work, with my studies and with my healthy habits. To catch up: still keeping up with the detox, abandoned learning HTML for a few days, due to the fact that programming reminded me of days when I've tried to wrote my own game, so I considerated it as a triger and set it away for a while. Still learning for my truck driver license, I even had my third ride today! I went swimming which I take as my new weekly activity. I was one from four students which passed math(integrals) test, from 25 students group(!) which I'm very proud of.

Today: I had another great talk with my accountability partner @hycniejsy. It's great to speak with someone openminded in my native language.  ;) I wrote before that I need to try something new and I was advised by him that sometimes we just need to take diffrent route to home to experience something new. Following that I've started to use my left hand for daily activities, where I'm right-handed. I know this doesn't sound as anything big, at first it was even funny that I had to actually think how to hold toothbrush with my left hand, but later on I've done few activities and it was so developing, that I almost felt like discovering a new muscles. It's great excercise for other half of the brain, and what is developing, what expands your abilities, is worth doing. Also I need to find out when I'm actually tired, that I need to regenerate and can allow myself for doing something non-productive, and when I'm actually not tired that much, but I'm using it as excuse to procrastinate.

Another days will bring even more positive changes ;)

Have a good night/day, Piotr.

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I was one from four students which passed math(integrals) test, from 25 students group(!) which I'm very proud of.

Congratulations Piotr! You've been really consistent so it's always good to hear from you.

You seem really in tune with your body and your mind - would you attribute that to anything in particular? Is that something new that you've developed after you started your detox?

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You seem really in tune with your body and your mind - would you attribute that to anything in particular? Is that something new that you've developed after you started your detox?

I don't think that this is something new, rather i re-focused my engagement from games to life. And that brought real results :) I try to balance every aspect of my life, because I was once talking with owner of financial company which is worth a few milions and he said that: "our life will be a good life only when other aspects of it are at their best. You can compare this to a wooden barrel(your life) which is made of planks(love, health, hobby, finances, relax etc.). You can pour into this barrel that much water, how long is the shortest plank. So if one of your life aspects is underdeveloped, in example: you're not taking any physical activity, than your body or health in general will suffer from it. You will get sick more often, this will lead to make you unable to work and that will lower your finances, so you had to resign from your hobby to make it to another payday etc.". Everything is connected that's why I'm trying to be in tune with my mind and body. Besides, I liked the personal development subject and I'm trying to be the best version of myself :)

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Journal entry #14

87 day of detox

Yesterday, I've failed at my fighting with procrastination. I've spent whole afternoon on watching movies. At, first it was supposed to be one movie, just to relax a bit, after tough day at work. Unfortunatelly, it went out of control and I've spent around six hours glued to screen with thoughts: laundry can be done tomorrow, I've learned for my studies 3 days straight so I need to rest a bit, I'm too tired for workout, reading books can wait, etc. I should be more carefull with rewarding myself, to not turn prize into a trap. I feel ashamed of it, how easily I wasted so much time, when so much productive things could be done. Thus, I've kept an eye on me today, to make sure that I will make things which were planned for today. Now, I'm writing after finishing all of them, just before sleep. Enemy won yesterday with no doubt, but again he showed his tactics making him vulnerable, and I'm gonna use this knowledge to turn my life for better.

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Journal entry #15

90 day of detox

First step for living a better life has been made. :)

 I know, that I can handle my gaming problem, I feel that I have control over it. I know, I’ve changed for better and I can expand this progress. I don’t want to loose it, this momentum in my life that makes me do things which improve my life. At first, I was thinking about gaming after 90 days to know how I react to games and maybe try playing in moderation. But after reading other journals I've seen that mostly this leads to relapse, uncontrolled gaming, and not to playing in moderation. That’s why I’ve decided to extend my detox to 180 days! I'm also changing my strategy a bit. Previously I've focused mostly on gaming avoidance and less on improving my life(thats why on beggining of my detox I watched many movies, to fill my time, although better activities could be done). Now, when cravings are weak, I know that I can flip the numbers and focus more on better life. Because that's the point of detox, not only stop excessive gaming, but live a better life.

Now the most important thing. I want to thank whole community for support and wisdom  which brought me to where I am now. Special thanks to:

@Cam Adair the reason why I'm here. For sharing your story, wisdom and experience. Words can't say how important person you became in my life, although, sadly we've never met. Hope to change this in the future ;)

@hycniejsy my countryman, accountability partner and mad pharmacist ;) big thanks for your support!

Also my gratitude goes to everyone who contributed to my journal, looking further for more of your posts: @Jeremias @Primmulla @WorkInProgress @Dannigan  @Sashiku @Robin @DuckyMcDuck  @AlexTheGrape

That's all for now, more will come in the future. ;)

Edited by Piotr
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Congratulations on finishing your 90 day detox! We're proud of you man. I'm glad the community helped you get make this possible :)

I applaud your decision to continue your detox, you certainly have the right mentality and spirit to make the tangible progress you desire. I recommend you look into what activities gaming fulfilled for you (constant measurable growth, sense of community, etc) and find alternative activities that fulfill these needs and will be better for you in the long run.

All the best for your 180 day detox! :D

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