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Theresa

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Hi not really into this online stuff but will give it a go for accountability and the great community...day 3 without gaming and feel really tired lol. I was able to exercise more and hang out with friends which was really good. Good luck to all of you out there!

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Day 4.
No gaming but feel hella tired and miss the online “friends”....Someone gave me good advice. It’s alright and even good to acknowledge that you’re sad or scared or angry or grieving. True, someone in the world probably has it worse than you but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept that you are experiencing those emotions which are a natural response and perhaps even a remedial  human process.
I found gaming an excellent distraction and way to suppress sadness. It started when I was 10 and there was family trouble, I’d isolate myself in my room and play pony friends or something like that and forget temporarily about the real world; but that didn’t fix the problem only pushed it aside. 
Today I acknowledged and accepted my grief over an event that happened last year. Usually I would turn to gaming to numb it all, but I think it would be truly healing to all who are in some way grieving to accept that grief and let it be processed.

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Day 5

Went to work like usual. Went swimming right after which was awesome. I had deleted discord to avoid anything associated with the gaming community but I really started missing chatting with some of the people so I reinstalled it. That made me really want to also download the pvp game to kick some of their asses ingame. I confess I  miss being toxic and goofing off. After work with all its formality it was nice to go online and freak out...for one of the challenges Cam has us calculate our life expectancy...have 21,978 days left lol. Im gonna run or draw to fill up the time. Hope you all had a great day! Don’t forget to Drink water 🙂

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Day 6

At work I kept thinking and imagining playing Lifeafter. It was definitely something I looked forward to doing after work. It was what I worked for. I have so many regrets of the time and money I wasted on that game. I don’t know whether to delete discord but not to be stereotypical, FOMO is hella real. I got up to run before work which was so refreshing. I’m setting a new goal to lose 10 lbs not because I’m overweight but for process of doing so. It will build self-discipline, better eating habits, and be something tangible to achieve. My college decided to have graduation this May since we missed it last year because of the corovavirus and I’m so incredibly grateful to have that closure in my life. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!

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Hey Theresa,

If your not overweight be careful about setting goals regarding loosing weight. Especially for women (which get so much societal pressure to be unhealthy thin) this can lead in a bad spiral. Maybe set fitness goals instead? Like running longer distances or at a faster time? Fitness is the goal, not a low body weight. Other goals in the same direction would be a certain number of push-ups or being able to do a pull-up. If you are  interested in body weight training, I can recommend you https://www.reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommended_routine.

There is a lot of good information in this Subreddit.

If you miss chatting on discord maybe set up a zoom/WhatsApp call with family/friends? This always makes me feel better and more socially connected.

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Day 7

I did a mini running and swimming biathalon before work. Exercising has really helped my energy. I was feeling so tired and down after quitting. I’ve been spending way too much time on Facebook and Discord because I feel the urge to be on my phone. I can’t get myself to delete Discord, I keep uninstalling but feel so much anxiety when it’s gone. It’s also frustrating because on discord they keep asking me to play. I know the answer is simple. I’m nervous about this weekend which I have off work because I don’t want to relapse as there will be extra time. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!

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Have you considered using some form of screen time regulator for your phone? If you're struggling so much with the question whether or not to continue using discord (and facebook), maybe it could be useful to regulate your time on those apps for now instead of quitting those cold turkey right now. Quitting gaming can be (is) hard enough as it is. You could for example lower your time limit every week to slowly stop using them, or stick to a certain amount of time that you feel comfortable with. 

Of course, you could also block discord entirely or do neither of these options. It fully depends on what you feel is best for your recovery.

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17 hours ago, Theresa said:

Day 7

I did a mini running and swimming biathalon before work. Exercising has really helped my energy. I was feeling so tired and down after quitting. I’ve been spending way too much time on Facebook and Discord because I feel the urge to be on my phone. I can’t get myself to delete Discord, I keep uninstalling but feel so much anxiety when it’s gone. It’s also frustrating because on discord they keep asking me to play. I know the answer is simple. I’m nervous about this weekend which I have off work because I don’t want to relapse as there will be extra time. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!

I quit social media in 2015, straight-up deleting my Facebook account. I had to look up how to do that, as Zuck doesn't want to make it too easy for people to drop out.

I did feel a lot of agitation over it for a while but, as with agitation over games, it faded pretty quickly. Maybe the same will happen for you when you quit Discord for good.

Weekends will be difficult for a while, especially with the pandemic still ongoing. What other activities interest you? You say you are interested in a healthier diet, so maybe you could look up and try some new recipes this weekend, maybe even preparing food for next week.

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On 3/31/2021 at 8:46 PM, Theresa said:

Day 7

I did a mini running and swimming biathalon before work. Exercising has really helped my energy. I was feeling so tired and down after quitting. I’ve been spending way too much time on Facebook and Discord because I feel the urge to be on my phone. I can’t get myself to delete Discord, I keep uninstalling but feel so much anxiety when it’s gone. It’s also frustrating because on discord they keep asking me to play. I know the answer is simple. I’m nervous about this weekend which I have off work because I don’t want to relapse as there will be extra time. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!

I'd recommend what @TheNewMe2.0 suggested. Meditation is very powerful. 

Try and find substitutions for facebook and discord. It may be difficult, especially with covid, but there's always a path forward if you're willing to find it. 

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Thank you all for the great advice and support @TheNewMe2.0@Jesse@Zeno of Elea @Octsober
 

I’ve tried apps like headspace but I always cut out because I get impatient and annoyed lol. I’ll give it another go; and I’ll be tracking screen time and limiting it... going to go on a retreat this weekend and learn to use excel to keep busy.

Day 8

I’m pretty grateful to have a break from work and not be cooped up inside. It was fun to get dressed up and go out with my housemate for her wedding planning. The world seems to be opening up a bit which is heartening. I’m really afraid of losing steam in my goals. I lack perseverance in doing the small goals. What was nice about gaming is that there was instant gratification, instant character improvement- all instant relative to how long it takes to break a habit or improve one’s character in real life, and it’s really rewarding to see concrete results. Hope you’re all well and I’m  rooting for you!
 

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You're welcome. Good job getting all that exercise in. I learned to meditate from this guys book : https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bhante+gunaratana I basically simplified his meditation to just include the breath at a single point and bodily sensations. You can audiobook his book on there 'mindfulness in plain english' or maybe in the first 5min video he'll explain his meditation. Good luck.

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17 hours ago, James Good said:

Hey! Welcome to the forums 🙂 Great job on avoiding gaming so far!

I can relate to your issues with Discord, that was always such a difficult thing to stop using. And while I still use it to keep in touch with my D&D group, deleting it (and staying off it) was crucial for the first few months just to avoid the constant barrage of gaming-related stuff.

What helped for me was to figure out exactly what benefits I got from Discord, and how different my life really is without it. It took some time, but I realized that not only did I get no benefits from the program, if I KNEW I wanted to stop gaming and Discord was making it much more difficult and amplifying my cravings, it was actually actively harming my ability to stay away from them. I forced myself to stay off it, sent my friends a message saying I'm taking a break for a few months, and then fought like hell every day to not use it (blockers like Freedom helped a lot).

It's not easy, especially if all our friends are on the platform, but regularly reminding yourself how your life is with gaming/cravings/Discord and what you want your life to look like in the future can be hugely beneficial.

Lastly, and the most important piece of advice I can give, is to be okay with not being okay. At the end of the day you don't need to feel bad about cravings, Discord, browsing YouTube or whatever else. All that matters for the next few months is avoiding gaming, that's it. This realization helped me relieve a lot of pressure to stop being so hard on myself and labelling myself as a failure. Addictions are tough to overcome, and you just have to take it one step at a time.

You might not like the online stuff, but this forum is an amazing place to find accountability and open up about the journey. We're all more than willing to help out no matter how big or small the problem is 🙂

Keep it up!

Thank you so much for the encouragement and advice, James. This post has hit home in many ways. 

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Day 9

Unfortunately did not follow my usual routine today, feel sorta down. Last year I know I was hella gaming on this date because of lockdown but I’m grateful this year to be able to go to prayer services. I’m not going to use discord for the duration of these 90 days and I think that’ll help with cravings. For the Challenge I need to post my vision board- visual representation of what one wants to create for his/her life. I have no photo editing skills but here’s the gist. Hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you.

 

 

EF85C14A-4434-443B-97D9-127325630595.png

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Day 10

Today was great! I got up to an alarm, did 10 min of meditation, and read for 30 min. I hope to make this a daily morning routine. It definitely helps with the morning cravings. I was driving for about 4 hours and listened to podcasts recommended on this forum. The one with James about turning gaming into superpower was awesome and really inspirational.

I got rejected today lol!! For a mission I had to ask the clerk for 10% off my coffee. So I plopped some car oil, popcorn, and my $2 coffee on the counter and asked for the discount on the drink and she was like, “why?” And I said, “for fun” and she went looking through they system and we chatted for a while, but in the end she claimed she didn’t have the authorization. I guess I took away from that experience that rejection isn’t always personal. My self worth wasn’t depreciated nor was I was offended by her saying no to my request. Hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you!

Edited by Theresa
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Thanks for the good luck. That's awesome, good for you getting your PsyD. I actually live and work in Virginia too. I'm at about a full caseload of 25 clients right now. It's pretty good for now I'm hoping to just maintain. Earning those hours and all that. Gotta study for the NCMHCE eventually. I hope you do well in school, seems like you're ready to go for it. Nice morning routine and cool story about the coffee, sounds like you almost got the discount too.

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12 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Thanks for the good luck. That's awesome, good for you getting your PsyD. I actually live and work in Virginia too. I'm at about a full caseload of 25 clients right now. It's pretty good for now I'm hoping to just maintain. Earning those hours and all that. Gotta study for the NCMHCE eventually. I hope you do well in school, seems like you're ready to go for it. Nice morning routine and cool story about the coffee, sounds like you almost got the discount too.

25 clients. That’s awesome. Congratulations and all the best with that and your exam!

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Day 12

I drove 4 hours and afterwards I really craved gaming. I’m not sure why. I was kinda tired but not stressed... I went walking for a while instead.  I haven’t stuck to my morning routine but hope to pick it up again tomorrow. 
I’m really grateful places are opening up here. 8 of my coworkers and I went and got burgers and drinks today. That real social interaction definitely filled the need for socialization that I turned to in gaming. Hope you’re well. Rooting for you!

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